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(The Root)   Somebody REALLY likes Red Lobster. Must be the Cheddar Bay Biscuits   (verysmartbrothas.theroot.com) divider line
    More: Spiffy, Red Lobster, Kimora Lee Simmons, Lobster, Crustacean, Olive Garden, Orlando, Florida, Profanity, Arthropod  
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940 clicks; posted to Food » on 23 Jan 2021 at 2:24 PM (15 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2021-01-23 3:24:21 PM  
15 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-23 2:03:04 PM  
11 votes:
The biscuits are good. Yet...Leviticus...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-23 12:28:23 PM  
10 votes:
When I was a kid I thought Colt 45 was the drink of sophisticated rich people because of the Billy Dee Williams commercials.   I thought of Red Lobster the same way.
 
2021-01-23 10:56:05 AM  
9 votes:
I'd cut grandma if she took a cheddar bay biscuit from me.
 
2021-01-23 5:17:23 PM  
7 votes:

Fear the Clam: I'll cut the author some slack because he grew up far from the ocean and doesn't know any better. He gets points for liking seafood instead of being scared of it.


I see what you did there, Fear the Clam.
 
2021-01-23 6:18:53 PM  
5 votes:
I have two RL stories.

1. We went to Disneyland years ago, taking the 7-year-old for her first time. We didn't know any restaurants in the area, so when we saw a RL (which we had never been to before but knew from commercials), we went there. Waitress asked the kid what side she wanted and she chose broccoli. We had to have a "discussion" with the woman because she refused to believe our child wanted broccoli. We didn't want to go into the whole reason why (kid can't stomach fat so french fries were out - we didn't know yet it was because she has Cystic Fibrosis, two more years to diagnosis) and that's when said child piped up, "I'm a weird kid. I like broccoli, it's yummy." We all laughed and waitress finally agreed.

2. Child is now grown and married and her husband has a serious crab addiction. RL decided one year to try to commit suicide and offered "All you can eat CRAB LEGS". So her and SIL drag us to RL in like, Cupertino or some weird place, and WE EAT 50 SERVINGS OF CRAB LEGS JUST THE FOUR OF US!!! IT WAS THE GREATEST NIGHT EVER!!! We had to be rolled out of the place and we weren't the only ones. The woman who approved the "promotion" was fired. Only shrimp are all you can eat now.
 
2021-01-23 3:22:29 PM  
5 votes:

Fear the Clam: I'll cut the author some slack because he grew up far from the ocean and doesn't know any better. He gets points for liking seafood instead of being scared of it.


I hope he reads this and is grateful for your generosity of spirit.
 
2021-01-23 11:42:16 AM  
4 votes:
They know, as well as I do, that it's diametrically impossible to have a bad experience there.

Having worked at Red Lobster for three years in my twenties, I was both the recipient and the purveyor of some truly bad experiences.
 
2021-01-23 3:09:20 PM  
3 votes:
Thanks even.
 
2021-01-23 3:02:00 PM  
3 votes:
Red Lobster is the worst, saddest seafood restaurant there is, and I'm including Long John Silver.
 
2021-01-23 12:45:39 PM  
3 votes:
Beautiful.

That said, aside from the biscuits, Red Lobster makes Applebee's look like the Outback Steakhouse.

And if you're not sure how to score that, probably let's not eat at a chain restaurant.
 
2021-01-23 11:26:13 AM  
3 votes:
The menu itself is an amusement park. You want Parrot Isle Jumbo Coconut Shrimp with bacon-wrapped cheesecake? Fine. Do you even know where or what the fark a Parrot Isle is? No. An entire isle full of parrots sounds creepy, actually. But it doesn't matter, because Red Lobster wants you to cum first.

Art.
 
2021-01-24 7:24:00 PM  
2 votes:
Red Lobster doesn't believe in delayed gratification. Red Lobster is a considerate lover.
 
2021-01-23 11:02:15 AM  
2 votes:
I bught out all the cheddar bay biscuit mix from the store a few months ago, and put it in my store room because I'm not going through a pandemic without it.
 
2021-01-24 6:07:14 AM  
1 vote:

GRCooper: born_yesterday: Chesapeake Bay Seafood House or GTFO.

[Fark user image 260x194]

[Fark user image 425x256]


wow, I could eat the absolute pants off some skrimps!!! 4.75, where do I sign?!
(altho' ...much as I'm usually not a picky eater, there's just something about grass-shrimp (Gulf/Maine/etc.) that is oddly somehow off-putting to me?)

also, oblig.

The Simpsons - Homer At The Buffet
Youtube E2dmfnSarDI


/garrr!
//does the bread have much fish in it?
///sree
 
2021-01-24 5:50:13 AM  
1 vote:
Arthur Treacher's >> LJS >> Red Lobster. fight me.

altho' ... RL is the only one we gots in NE Phila, sad to say.

our usual lazy go-to is some hole-in the wall convenience down the block from my parents-in-law, "Captain's Choice" lololol. they sell beer, wine, lottery tickets, some very strange unusual candies (pastel lego blocks??!? tastes just like candy-necklace flavor-sugar-junk, except in POG lego form.) - and, yes, fried foods. sort of like your standart UK chippy, almost.

they fry everything to-order/on-demand, and tbh their front counter refrigerator case looks like, it... really does not look like they're simply using typical cheap frozen-food-service (y'know, sysco, sodexho, etc.) type stuff. so if someone is prepping this stuff fresh by hand, I'm really curious to know from whence it comes.

hrm, no past photos of the food, but here's the storefront. yeah, it's exactly how it looks like you think it does.

Fark user imageView Full Size


/this is also where my MIL's old iphone 5c recently got run over by 3-4 cars and/or 17 fat pedestrians.
 
2021-01-23 4:56:31 PM  
1 vote:
I haven't been to a Red Lobster in decades. If I didn't have to drive 30 - 50 min to get to one, I'd go.

Langostino Skrimp & Pasta. I would *kill* for some!
 
2021-01-23 2:35:17 PM  
1 vote:

Benevolent Misanthrope: darkhorse23: I bught out all the cheddar bay biscuit mix from the store a few months ago, and put it in my store room because I'm not going through a pandemic without it.

You can make them without a mix.  I use this recipe and it is indistinguishable from the original:

https://damndelicious.net/2014/02/03/r​ed-lobster-cheddar-bay-biscuits/

Damn, now I have to make cheddar biscuits to go with my quiche...


Nope, I know about that, but I'm old and lazy.
 
2021-01-23 11:09:28 AM  
1 vote:

darkhorse23: I bught out all the cheddar bay biscuit mix from the store a few months ago, and put it in my store room because I'm not going through a pandemic without it.


You can make them without a mix.  I use this recipe and it is indistinguishable from the original:

https://damndelicious.net/2014/02/03/​r​ed-lobster-cheddar-bay-biscuits/

Damn, now I have to make cheddar biscuits to go with my quiche...
 
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