Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The New Yorker)   So it turns out that Fran Lebowitz has been writing after all -- in the form of one-star Amazon reviews, like this one for a Rubik's Cube: "You finish it. Now what? Congratulations, you have a slightly more attractive cube"   (newyorker.com) divider line
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

1575 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 23 Jan 2021 at 5:35 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



32 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-01-22 10:27:26 PM  
Solving a Rubik's Cube back to pristine is no big deal these days. Learn to make patterns. Those require being able to manipulate every single piece to your will.
 
2021-01-22 10:34:11 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


"WOUNDED DEER, Massachusetts - Emily Dickinson College sophomore Fawn Liebowitz died suddenly last week in a kiln explosion on campus. Liebowitz, 20, a sociology major from Fort Wayne, Indiana, was tragically killed while firing a pot in the new kiln in Sylvia Plath Hall. "Messy" was how Wounded Deer Fire Chief Michael Redman described the scene of the accident. "It was hard to tell the pot shards from the body parts," said the pyrodefense professional. "She just blew like a frog sucking on a cherry bomb," Redman added."
 
2021-01-23 1:07:17 AM  
It's sad to see someone who was formerly rather talented wasting their golden year pissing in their own cornflakes.
 
2021-01-23 2:58:23 AM  
This particular individual will certainly survive the covid pandemic.
 
2021-01-23 4:51:59 AM  
I have to admit the coasters review was pretty funny.
 
2021-01-23 6:56:00 AM  
I can only assume that she wrote those reviews by hand and asked a friend to post them, because she makes a big deal of not owning any device capable of connecting to the internet.
 
2021-01-23 8:37:23 AM  

fragMasterFlash: It's sad to see someone who was formerly rather talented wasting their golden year pissing in their own cornflakes.


She has her own brand of cornflakes and wrote a negative review of them? If she's that down on them, maybe she should just get her name taken off the box.
 
2021-01-23 8:38:14 AM  
These were almost as humorous as Seinfeld observations...almost.  Go looking for the really funny reviews by people who you can really believe are batshiat crazy.

Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant
static.boredpanda.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-23 9:28:22 AM  

thorpe: [Fark user image image 457x464]

"WOUNDED DEER, Massachusetts - Emily Dickinson College sophomore Fawn Liebowitz died suddenly last week in a kiln explosion on campus. Liebowitz, 20, a sociology major from Fort Wayne, Indiana, was tragically killed while firing a pot in the new kiln in Sylvia Plath Hall. "Messy" was how Wounded Deer Fire Chief Michael Redman described the scene of the accident. "It was hard to tell the pot shards from the body parts," said the pyrodefense professional. "She just blew like a frog sucking on a cherry bomb," Redman added."


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-23 9:41:48 AM  

Susan'sLittleAdamsApple: These were almost as humorous as Seinfeld observations...almost.  Go looking for the really funny reviews by people who you can really believe are batshiat crazy.

Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant
[static.boredpanda.com image 700x834]


No, amateur comedians should have their "funny" reviews flagged as unhelpful. That's what I do anyway.
 
2021-01-23 10:27:45 AM  
What I don't get is if she doesn't have a mobile phone, a computer and doesn't even use a type writer, how is she posting reviews on Amazon?  🤔
 
2021-01-23 10:34:37 AM  
I've lived in my apartment for thirty-five years. I've never made a single hole.

There's nothing hanging on the walls.

Even if I die here, I'm getting that security deposit back.


This got me chortling as I know people with this philosophy.
 
2021-01-23 10:43:47 AM  

hodgemann: I've lived in my apartment for thirty-five years. I've never made a single hole.

There's nothing hanging on the walls.

Even if I die here, I'm getting that security deposit back.

This got me chortling as I know people with this philosophy.


I've put electrical boxes in the walls of apartments. I put a plate on it when I left and got my deposit back.  Also regularly put quarter sized holes. As long as it's full of spackle and smooth do they could paint over it, I got my deposit back.
 
2021-01-23 10:48:44 AM  
duckpoopy:

I bet you goto all the best parties....who took the jam out of your doughnut?
 
2021-01-23 11:33:11 AM  

duckpoopy: Susan'sLittleAdamsApple: These were almost as humorous as Seinfeld observations...almost.  Go looking for the really funny reviews by people who you can really believe are batshiat crazy.

Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant
[static.boredpanda.com image 700x834]

No, amateur comedians should have their "funny" reviews flagged as unhelpful. That's what I do anyway.


This reviewer is unhelpful.

/ howdja like dem apples
// sometimes fun is funny
/// I bet you teach elementary school
 
2021-01-23 11:51:11 AM  

fragMasterFlash: It's sad to see someone who was formerly rather talented wasting their golden year pissing in their own cornflakes.


Sharp wit != to talent. She has lambasted Trump as being lazy (and he is) and if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black, not sure what it is.

/ nothing of value to offer humanity, but somehow she keeps getting attention
 
2021-01-23 12:34:15 PM  
After watching, and enjoying, Pretend it's a City, I came to the conclusion that she doesn't have writers block as much as she realized writing is hard work, and if she did write another book she would have to go on tour to promote it. Why bother with the writing when you can make the same, if not more money, doing speaking tours and forgetting the writing.
 
2021-01-23 12:57:38 PM  

duckpoopy: Susan'sLittleAdamsApple: These were almost as humorous as Seinfeld observations...almost.  Go looking for the really funny reviews by people who you can really believe are batshiat crazy.

Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant
[static.boredpanda.com image 700x834]

No, amateur comedians should have their "funny" reviews flagged as unhelpful. That's what I do anyway.


Fark user imageView Full Size

There you go, a helpful review to allow you to know if you should buy this product or not.
 
2021-01-23 1:25:59 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
amb [TotalFark]
2021-01-23 1:41:35 PM  
Fran needs a three wolf moon shirt. Then her reviews will get up to the Amazon standard.
 
2021-01-23 1:52:42 PM  
I would so do her.
 
2021-01-23 2:16:12 PM  
She sounds fun at parties.
 
2021-01-23 2:19:22 PM  

Jack Sabbath: thorpe: [Fark user image image 457x464]

"WOUNDED DEER, Massachusetts - Emily Dickinson College sophomore Fawn Liebowitz died suddenly last week in a kiln explosion on campus. Liebowitz, 20, a sociology major from Fort Wayne, Indiana, was tragically killed while firing a pot in the new kiln in Sylvia Plath Hall. "Messy" was how Wounded Deer Fire Chief Michael Redman described the scene of the accident. "It was hard to tell the pot shards from the body parts," said the pyrodefense professional. "She just blew like a frog sucking on a cherry bomb," Redman added."

[Fark user image 425x227]


She was going to make a pot for me!
 
2021-01-23 2:39:35 PM  
Ironic that I hit a paywall trying to read an article for which the New Yorker did not have to pay Lebowitz.
 
2021-01-23 3:06:00 PM  
Snarky one star Amazon reviews.  This might make an entertaining competition.
 
2021-01-23 3:40:36 PM  
You have thirty minutes to move your cube
 
2021-01-23 6:53:17 PM  

fragMasterFlash: It's sad to see someone who was formerly rather talented wasting their golden year pissing in their own cornflakes.


She didn't write them. It's a "humourous" parody of her style.
 
2021-01-23 7:47:50 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Cute thing til I had to scroll and scroll past so many posts here that didn't get the joke til I found one that did.

Unevenly funny, but a nice parody of her style.
 
2021-01-23 9:01:47 PM  
Wow those were incredibly, cringingly, unfunny.
 
2021-01-23 11:22:14 PM  

Elzar: fragMasterFlash: It's sad to see someone who was formerly rather talented wasting their golden year pissing in their own cornflakes.

Sharp wit != to talent. She has lambasted Trump as being lazy (and he is) and if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black, not sure what it is.

/ nothing of value to offer humanity, but somehow she keeps getting attention


She literally said he's lazy and game knows game. She's a goddamn treasure and we need to appreciate her appropriately
 
2021-01-24 2:56:47 AM  

hodgemann: I've lived in my apartment for thirty-five years. I've never made a single hole.

There's nothing hanging on the walls.

Even if I die here, I'm getting that security deposit back.

This got me chortling as I know people with this philosophy.


I own my house. There is nothing on the walls. There is thousands of dollars of original artwork sitting on the floor around the house propped up where I would hang them. They have been there for 4 years.
 
2021-01-24 3:10:21 AM  
Whoever wrote that probably has terminal hemorrhoids.
 
Displayed 32 of 32 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.