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(Slate)   "How do I have sex after my divorce?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Human sexual behavior, Sexual intercourse, Human sexuality, HIV, AIDS, Slate's sex advice column, Semen, Oral sex  
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704 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 22 Jan 2021 at 2:03 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



40 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-01-21 11:03:28 PM  
Debit card.
 
2021-01-21 11:07:01 PM  
Burn your bed
 
2021-01-21 11:08:46 PM  
Insert Tab A into Slot B
 
2021-01-21 11:09:15 PM  
Butt stuff.
 
2021-01-21 11:16:10 PM  
Chloroform

/I'll see myself out
//Tip your bartender
 
2021-01-21 11:19:22 PM  
In the butt, Bob.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2021-01-21 11:22:08 PM  
Your attorney is right there, and probably has low morals.
 
2021-01-21 11:25:49 PM  
In the pooper.
 
2021-01-21 11:30:43 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-21 11:35:58 PM  
I've never heard of needing consent to ejaculate into a woman's vagina after sex has already been consented to and initiated. I guess I'm really out of touch with sex rules of the new millennium. Imma stick to being single and celibate thankyouverymuch.

/by choice
 
2021-01-21 11:58:08 PM  

TwowheelinTim: I've never heard of needing consent to ejaculate into a woman's vagina after sex has already been consented to and initiated. I guess I'm really out of touch with sex rules of the new millennium. Imma stick to being single and celibate thankyouverymuch.

/by choice


I have had plenty of women tell me to not come in them.

She probably said it, and this dude, who only had had one sexual partner in his prior, prolly jizzed in three seconds with her permission.

I am old and married now, but I would always say "where ya want it, on ya or in ya".

Really it is just a courtesy.
 
2021-01-22 12:30:56 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-22 12:40:57 AM  

theflatline: TwowheelinTim: I've never heard of needing consent to ejaculate into a woman's vagina after sex has already been consented to and initiated. I guess I'm really out of touch with sex rules of the new millennium. Imma stick to being single and celibate thankyouverymuch.

/by choice

I have had plenty of women tell me to not come in them.

She probably said it, and this dude, who only had had one sexual partner in his prior, prolly jizzed in three seconds with her permission.

I am old and married now, but I would always say "where ya want it, on ya or in ya".

Really it is just a courtesy.


Yeah, I got that from the article. I had a vasectomy after my second child, and about a year after a divorce from my children's mother I started dating again. I never thought of asking and never had a woman object to my finishing inside her so I guess I've been fortunate.

I appreciate the information though since I may actually start dating again some day. Maybe...
 
2021-01-22 12:40:59 AM  

theflatline: TwowheelinTim: I've never heard of needing consent to ejaculate into a woman's vagina after sex has already been consented to and initiated. I guess I'm really out of touch with sex rules of the new millennium. Imma stick to being single and celibate thankyouverymuch.

/by choice

I have had plenty of women tell me to not come in them.

She probably said it, and this dude, who only had had one sexual partner in his prior, prolly jizzed in three seconds with her permission.

I am old and married now, but I would always say "where ya want it, on ya or in ya".

Really it is just a courtesy.


Oh, you old romantic, you.
 
2021-01-22 12:42:35 AM  

I am Tom Joad's Complete Lack of Surprise: Debit card.


Okay, I've never heard of this. I suppose your cocaine dealer takes debit cards too?
 
2021-01-22 12:44:03 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-22 1:03:11 AM  

theflatline: TwowheelinTim: I've never heard of needing consent to ejaculate into a woman's vagina after sex has already been consented to and initiated. I guess I'm really out of touch with sex rules of the new millennium. Imma stick to being single and celibate thankyouverymuch.

/by choice

I have had plenty of women tell me to not come in them.

She probably said it, and this dude, who only had had one sexual partner in his prior, prolly jizzed in three seconds with her permission.

I am old and married now, but I would always say "where ya want it, on ya or in ya".

Really it is just a courtesy.


Guess I'm old and out of touch too, but that question boggles my mind. I'd be thinking "why the fark would I want it on me"...
 
2021-01-22 2:09:34 AM  

Nidiot: Guess I'm old and out of touch too, but that question boggles my mind. I'd be thinking "why the fark would I want it on me"...


People request all sorts of things.
 
2021-01-22 2:11:51 AM  

theflatline: TwowheelinTim: I've never heard of needing consent to ejaculate into a woman's vagina after sex has already been consented to and initiated. I guess I'm really out of touch with sex rules of the new millennium. Imma stick to being single and celibate thankyouverymuch.

/by choice

I have had plenty of women tell me to not come in them.

She probably said it, and this dude, who only had had one sexual partner in his prior, prolly jizzed in three seconds with her permission.

I am old and married now, but I would always say "where ya want it, on ya or in ya".

Really it is just a courtesy.


Now, I don't *avoid* women, Mandrake, but I *do* deny them my essence.
 
2021-01-22 2:12:48 AM  

Heamer: Nidiot: Guess I'm old and out of touch too, but that question boggles my mind. I'd be thinking "why the fark would I want it on me"...

People request all sorts of things.


Naked.
Sailor hats.
Pepto Bismol.
Toenails.

Shave. My. Buttocks.
 
2021-01-22 3:32:04 AM  
In a van down by the river?
 
2021-01-22 4:18:03 AM  

Heamer: Nidiot: Guess I'm old and out of touch too, but that question boggles my mind. I'd be thinking "why the fark would I want it on me"...

People request all sorts of things.


Hey, I'm not here to kink shame.

However if sex without a condom has been consented to, she should have specified precisely where she wanted his jizz to go, whether it's on her face, the curtains, or a photo of her ex, otherwise it's going to the default position. (She knew it was coming, or did she think sterile meant there'd be no ejaculate?) Turns out it went to the default position due to lack of her specifying otherwise.
 
2021-01-22 5:13:50 AM  

King Something: Butt stuff.


It's actually easier after you separate ... your butt cheeks.
 
2021-01-22 6:10:46 AM  
Bobcat Goldthwait had that joke...

I lost my job... well, not really, I know where it is but when I get there someone else is doing it...

then filler jokes and stories and stuff to make you think stuff about other stuff about stuff that was stuff and then he'd say:

I lost my girlfriend... well, not really, I know where she is...
 
2021-01-22 7:27:40 AM  
If I'm gonna shoot it somewhere other than where the good Lord intended, I don't really need the woman for that. I can understand maybe from the cleanup standpoint, but there's nothing quite like making a deposit the old fashioned way.
 
2021-01-22 7:48:17 AM  
The same way your wife is. With the mail man.
 
2021-01-22 8:25:31 AM  
media0.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-22 8:59:54 AM  
The same way you do while married, but less begging.
 
2021-01-22 9:08:23 AM  
She's rejecting your third class male.
 
2021-01-22 10:01:17 AM  

TwowheelinTim: theflatline: TwowheelinTim: I've never heard of needing consent to ejaculate into a woman's vagina after sex has already been consented to and initiated. I guess I'm really out of touch with sex rules of the new millennium. Imma stick to being single and celibate thankyouverymuch.

/by choice

I have had plenty of women tell me to not come in them.

She probably said it, and this dude, who only had had one sexual partner in his prior, prolly jizzed in three seconds with her permission.

I am old and married now, but I would always say "where ya want it, on ya or in ya".

Really it is just a courtesy.

Yeah, I got that from the article. I had a vasectomy after my second child, and about a year after a divorce from my children's mother I started dating again. I never thought of asking and never had a woman object to my finishing inside her so I guess I've been fortunate.

I appreciate the information though since I may actually start dating again some day. Maybe...


i'm pretty sure he just ran into crazy.   when they were having the discussion about condom/no condom and whatnot she should have brought it up then.
 
2021-01-22 10:04:42 AM  

tom baker's scarf: TwowheelinTim: theflatline: TwowheelinTim: I've never heard of needing consent to ejaculate into a woman's vagina after sex has already been consented to and initiated. I guess I'm really out of touch with sex rules of the new millennium. Imma stick to being single and celibate thankyouverymuch.

/by choice

I have had plenty of women tell me to not come in them.

She probably said it, and this dude, who only had had one sexual partner in his prior, prolly jizzed in three seconds with her permission.

I am old and married now, but I would always say "where ya want it, on ya or in ya".

Really it is just a courtesy.

Yeah, I got that from the article. I had a vasectomy after my second child, and about a year after a divorce from my children's mother I started dating again. I never thought of asking and never had a woman object to my finishing inside her so I guess I've been fortunate.

I appreciate the information though since I may actually start dating again some day. Maybe...

i'm pretty sure he just ran into crazy.   when they were having the discussion about condom/no condom and whatnot she should have brought it up then.


Everybody should get tom baker's scarf. You can ejaculate on one end, wipe off on the other and still have enough clean fabric in the middle to keep your neck warm.
 
2021-01-22 10:29:56 AM  
If its true that the woman agreed to sex without a condom when she didn't actually know the guy?... You're right she IS crazy.
 
2021-01-22 11:27:59 AM  
Find a partner that you like, do what you both like.

Oh this is about a crazy person. Avoid them, but if you meet one run away very quickly.
 
2021-01-22 12:35:29 PM  
She assumed he knew what she wanted, without her actually telling him? Run, run far away.
 
2021-01-22 6:50:59 PM  
Wait, she was having sex before her divorce?
 
2021-01-22 7:59:20 PM  
...easily?
 
2021-01-22 8:55:45 PM  

TwowheelinTim: I've never heard of needing consent to ejaculate into a woman's vagina after sex has already been consented to and initiated. I guess I'm really out of touch with sex rules of the new millennium. Imma stick to being single and celibate thankyouverymuch.


If you're having unprotected sex with someone you've never discussed it with, then it's probably best not to.
 
2021-01-23 2:17:45 AM  

tom baker's scarf: TwowheelinTim: theflatline: TwowheelinTim: I've never heard of needing consent to ejaculate into a woman's vagina after sex has already been consented to and initiated. I guess I'm really out of touch with sex rules of the new millennium. Imma stick to being single and celibate thankyouverymuch.

/by choice

I have had plenty of women tell me to not come in them.

She probably said it, and this dude, who only had had one sexual partner in his prior, prolly jizzed in three seconds with her permission.

I am old and married now, but I would always say "where ya want it, on ya or in ya".

Really it is just a courtesy.

Yeah, I got that from the article. I had a vasectomy after my second child, and about a year after a divorce from my children's mother I started dating again. I never thought of asking and never had a woman object to my finishing inside her so I guess I've been fortunate.

I appreciate the information though since I may actually start dating again some day. Maybe...

i'm pretty sure he just ran into crazy.   when they were having the discussion about condom/no condom and whatnot she should have brought it up then.


Or, it occurred to me last night while I was pondering this as I drifted off to sleep, she had a boyfriend or husband to go home to and didn't want to have another man's semen dripping from her pussy.
 
2021-01-23 2:23:32 AM  

BMFPitt: TwowheelinTim: I've never heard of needing consent to ejaculate into a woman's vagina after sex has already been consented to and initiated. I guess I'm really out of touch with sex rules of the new millennium. Imma stick to being single and celibate thankyouverymuch.

If you're having unprotected sex with someone you've never discussed it with, then it's probably best not to.


That's rather presumptuous of you. Do you always automatically assume the worst of people?

By the time I get to that stage with a woman we know each other pretty well. I don't go around f*cking anybody who has a pussy and is willing to put out. More than one woman has accused me of being stuck up. Others have asked me why I play hard to get. I'm not a man whore like a lot of guys seem to revel in bragging about.

But you do you.
 
2021-01-23 2:30:16 PM  
STDs. STDs everywhere.
 
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