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(Uproxx)   Wart on GOP's ass, also known as "Ted Cruz", gets called out for idiotic tweets   (uproxx.com) divider line
    More: Followup, White House, Joe Biden, President of the United States, Paris Climate Agreement, growing number of his colleagues, Texas senator, United States Senate, Jesse Helms  
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4670 clicks; posted to Politics » on 21 Jan 2021 at 3:20 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-01-21 2:39:32 AM  
What is he thinking? If he plays nice with the Pennsylvanians, they'll flip their electors and put Trump back in office? Somebody tell him it's over, Biden is in the White House... Nevermind, let him be his own hoisted pet tard.
 
2021-01-21 2:51:54 AM  
Twitter is pretty much the best and the worst.

I mean, many posts I find informative and provocative... but then again I also get to watch elected officials bickering realtime. That's also informative in its own way though.
 
2021-01-21 2:52:51 AM  
Ted Cruz is an insult to warts everywhere.

It appears Ted is gearing up for 2024.  He thinks the nightmare Trump cult will just be sitting waiting for Ted.  That's the horse he's betting on.  Stay turned for 2024's Moronpalooza.
 
2021-01-21 2:53:59 AM  
AOC has honed her skills

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-21 2:56:39 AM  

PaulRB: Ted Cruz is an insult to warts everywhere.

It appears Ted is gearing up for 2024.  He thinks the nightmare Trump cult will just be sitting waiting for Ted.  That's the horse he's betting on.  Stay turned tuned for 2024's Moronpalooza.

 
2021-01-21 3:00:36 AM  
Cruz is trying to inherit Trumps mob. They come pre-brainwashed and trained to respond well to horrible people with no character so he thinks he has a shot.
 
2021-01-21 3:14:57 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-21 3:25:19 AM  

ParallelUniverseParking: Cruz is trying to inherit Trumps mob. They come pre-brainwashed and trained to respond well to horrible people with no character so he thinks he has a shot.


Except Trump had the "charisma of audacity."

Cruz has all the appeal of a chunk of a mold-encrusted congealed fat cementing a mass of used asswipes together on the side of a sewer pipe.
 
2021-01-21 3:26:33 AM  
The tweet wasn't aimed at anyone that knows anything at all about the Paris agreement, it was aimed at Cruz's supporters.
 
2021-01-21 3:27:24 AM  
I seem to recall that exact same dumb joke floating around in 2015, when the agreement was first signed.  Seriously, doesn't he have any competent, internet-savvy people on his staff to stop him from posting stupid nonsense like this?
 
2021-01-21 3:27:42 AM  
THEM PARIS PEOPLES TAKIN OR JERBS
 
2021-01-21 3:30:47 AM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-21 3:34:43 AM  

felching pen: What is he thinking? If he plays nice with the Pennsylvanians, they'll flip their electors and put Trump back in office? Somebody tell him it's over, Biden is in the White House... Nevermind, let him be his own hoisted pet tard.


He's just recycling the exact catchphrase the GOP used when Trump refused to join. I don't know why this hasn't been pointed out in the article or on Twitter.

The asshole is just lazy trolling.
 
2021-01-21 3:37:33 AM  

make me some tea: [Fark user image 739x515]


Of all the "P" towns he could have picked. Paducah... Poughkeepsie...

Criminy he's from Texas! He could have said "Biden is more interested in the views of the citizens of Paris, France than the jobs of the citizens of Paris, Texas." See, that even works on multiple levels, and Paris, Texas probably didn't pledge to follow the Paris Climate Agreement.
 
2021-01-21 3:39:02 AM  
Yeah that was even more stupid than normal for Ted Cruz.

That's saying a lot.
 
2021-01-21 3:39:59 AM  
This guy was the biggest dipshiat in politics for years before Trump hit the scene. Now he's even worse than before. He's a copycat dipshiat.

It's gonna be lots of fun (sarc) watching this guy going full blown WWTD(??) for the next 4 years.
 
2021-01-21 3:43:03 AM  

HighOnCraic: I seem to recall that exact same dumb joke floating around in 2015, when the agreement was first signed.  Seriously, doesn't he have any competent, internet-savvy people on his staff to stop him from posting stupid nonsense like this?


Not 100% sure, but wasn't this a Trump rally call?
 
2021-01-21 3:44:49 AM  

erik-k: ParallelUniverseParking: Cruz is trying to inherit Trumps mob. They come pre-brainwashed and trained to respond well to horrible people with no character so he thinks he has a shot.

Except Trump had the "charisma of audacity."

Cruz has all the appeal of a chunk of a mold-encrusted congealed fat cementing a mass of used asswipes together on the side of a sewer pipe.


That's a strange expression, Bruce....
 
2021-01-21 3:45:39 AM  
Saggy balls.

Every time I see his face with that beard, it's all I can think of.
 
2021-01-21 3:47:03 AM  

Mike_1962: HighOnCraic: I seem to recall that exact same dumb joke floating around in 2015, when the agreement was first signed.  Seriously, doesn't he have any competent, internet-savvy people on his staff to stop him from posting stupid nonsense like this?

Not 100% sure, but wasn't this a Trump rally call?


I think it was floating around even before Trump, but I can't remember.  2015 was like ten years ago, wasn't it?
 
2021-01-21 3:52:23 AM  

felching pen: What is he thinking? If he plays nice with the Pennsylvanians, they'll flip their electors and put Trump back in office? Somebody tell him it's over, Biden is in the White House... Nevermind, let him be his own hoisted pet tard.


No, he is thinking that Trump is done and he can be the one to keep the GoP base and the MAGA crowd.

He is taking a calculated risk. I don't think it will pay off, but if it does he is the President in 2023.
 
2021-01-21 3:54:39 AM  

erik-k: ParallelUniverseParking: Cruz is trying to inherit Trumps mob. They come pre-brainwashed and trained to respond well to horrible people with no character so he thinks he has a shot.

Except Trump had the "charisma of audacity."

Cruz has all the appeal of a chunk of a mold-encrusted congealed fat cementing a mass of used asswipes together on the side of a sewer pipe.


And that's after that lump has already passed through a syphilitic rat's digestive system!
 
2021-01-21 3:54:40 AM  
Riiiiight because that piece of shiat and his voters give a shiat about Pittsburgh.
 
2021-01-21 4:05:24 AM  
Old and busted:  Wanting to oust Ted Cruz for trying to overthrow democracy.

New hotness: Wanting to oust Ted Cruz for being an absolute imbecile.


/whynotboth.jpg
 
2021-01-21 4:08:07 AM  

Oysterman: Old and busted:  Wanting to oust Ted Cruz for trying to overthrow democracy.

New hotness: Wanting to oust Ted Cruz for being an absolute imbecile.


/whynotboth.jpg


New?

You remember there was a world before 2016 no?
 
2021-01-21 4:10:18 AM  
It's hilarious how concerned and angry Ted is about other states and what they do.
 
2021-01-21 4:11:22 AM  

leeksfromchichis: You remember there was a world before 2016 no?


Not really, no.  It feels like decades ago, and realizing it was just four years ago is pretty saddening.
 
2021-01-21 4:15:59 AM  
The thing is, this really is how many of them think. That's why you get imbeciles drawing a distinction between "Republic" and "Democracy", thinking Nazis were left-wing, and shocked to find out that you can be sworn in on something other than the KJV.
 
2021-01-21 4:19:41 AM  

erik-k: ParallelUniverseParking: Cruz is trying to inherit Trumps mob. They come pre-brainwashed and trained to respond well to horrible people with no character so he thinks he has a shot.

Except Trump had the "charisma of audacity."

Cruz has all the appeal of a chunk of a mold-encrusted congealed fat cementing a mass of used asswipes together on the side of a sewer pipe.


Cruz came in 2nd in the 2016 Republican primary. I don't know why.
 
2021-01-21 4:22:27 AM  

nytmare: erik-k: ParallelUniverseParking: Cruz is trying to inherit Trumps mob. They come pre-brainwashed and trained to respond well to horrible people with no character so he thinks he has a shot.

Except Trump had the "charisma of audacity."

Cruz has all the appeal of a chunk of a mold-encrusted congealed fat cementing a mass of used asswipes together on the side of a sewer pipe.

Cruz came in 2nd in the 2016 Republican primary. I don't know why.


Like Trump, he embodies everything the right loves and worships. Unlike Trump, he's not nearly as loud, obnoxious, outspoken, and he isn't a TV star.
 
2021-01-21 4:24:58 AM  

Oysterman: leeksfromchichis: You remember there was a world before 2016 no?

Not really, no.  It feels like decades ago, and realizing it was just four years ago is pretty saddening.


I tried to think of what actually would've been decades ago.  First thing that came to mind was 9/11 (19 years and change).  So maybe I'm just blurring times Washington DC got attacked by terrorists...
 
2021-01-21 4:44:23 AM  
Someone help me here. Was it beardless Ted (Rafael) Cruz or Martin Shkreli who had the most punchable face in America?

I am so sorry for bothering everyone. I GIS'd "punchable face" and found a bonanza of faces needing a punch. Yes, Cruz was there and Shkreli . . . but there were many I failed to consider, and for that I sincerely apologize. Let me add a few names to the list: Stephen Miller, Jared Kushner, Matt Gaetz, Donnie ha'f scoop, Ajit Pai. Dang, now I'm doubly sorry for leaving so many names off the list, so . . . sorry.
 
2021-01-21 4:51:11 AM  
Still waiting to hear why nobody whined about the first 18 coronaviruses.
 
2021-01-21 4:52:50 AM  

HammerHeadSnark: Donnie ha'f scoop


I have no idea what platform this is on, but apparently he thinks he's Simba and running in 2024.
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-21 4:55:43 AM  

HammerHeadSnark: Someone help me here. Was it beardless Ted (Rafael) Cruz or Martin Shkreli who had the most punchable face in America?

I am so sorry for bothering everyone. I GIS'd "punchable face" and found a bonanza of faces needing a punch. Yes, Cruz was there and Shkreli . . . but there were many I failed to consider, and for that I sincerely apologize. Let me add a few names to the list: Stephen Miller, Jared Kushner, Matt Gaetz, Donnie ha'f scoop, Ajit Pai. Dang, now I'm doubly sorry for leaving so many names off the list, so . . . sorry.


I would really enjoy punching all of their lights out.  Lindsay should be on there, as one of the very few ladies a gentleman would punch.  Devin Nunes' face would probably cave in like a raped grapefruit.  Gohmert would be like kicking a puppy...a developmentally damaged puppy.

But of them all, I think I would like to offer Jim Jordan out.  Ring, mat, cage, whatever he wants.  Speed-talking, lying little twerp.

starsrift: Still waiting to hear why nobody whined about the first 18 coronaviruses.


It's because they're all dead.
 
2021-01-21 4:55:52 AM  
HammerHeadSnark: ...Martin Shkreli who had the most punchable face in America?

I'm nostalgic for when Martin Shkreli got busted.  It's the only time in the last five years that everyone was on the same side, the United States of Fark This Guy.
 
2021-01-21 5:06:15 AM  

Tanqueray: HammerHeadSnark: Donnie ha'f scoop

I have no idea what platform this is on, but apparently he thinks he's Simba and running in 2024.
[i.imgur.com image 361x643]


So now we know Lion King is his go-to movie to close out an all night coke binge.
 
2021-01-21 5:12:17 AM  

erik-k: ParallelUniverseParking: Cruz is trying to inherit Trumps mob. They come pre-brainwashed and trained to respond well to horrible people with no character so he thinks he has a shot.

Except Trump had the "charisma of audacity."

Cruz has all the appeal of a chunk of a mold-encrusted congealed fat cementing a mass of used asswipes together on the side of a sewer pipe.


In the interest of civility, I object! That was un-civil and, frankly, inaccurate. Fat-covered wads of used TP in a sewer pipe are far more useful (and appealing) than Traitor Ted.

Apologize at once.
 
2021-01-21 5:15:14 AM  

The Envoy: starsrift: Still waiting to hear why nobody whined about the first 18 coronaviruses.

It's because they're all dead.


Think dumber
 
2021-01-21 5:18:39 AM  
Does the fact that Trump served hamburgers and french fries in the white house mean that he cares more about people in Hamburg and France than Real Americans from Hotdog and Budweis?
 
2021-01-21 5:22:42 AM  

The Envoy: HammerHeadSnark: Someone help me here. Was it beardless Ted (Rafael) Cruz or Martin Shkreli who had the most punchable face in America?

I am so sorry for bothering everyone. I GIS'd "punchable face" and found a bonanza of faces needing a punch. Yes, Cruz was there and Shkreli . . . but there were many I failed to consider, and for that I sincerely apologize. Let me add a few names to the list: Stephen Miller, Jared Kushner, Matt Gaetz, Donnie ha'f scoop, Ajit Pai. Dang, now I'm doubly sorry for leaving so many names off the list, so . . . sorry.

I would really enjoy punching all of their lights out.  Lindsay should be on there, as one of the very few ladies a gentleman would punch.  Devin Nunes' face would probably cave in like a raped grapefruit.  Gohmert would be like kicking a puppy...a developmentally damaged puppy.

But of them all, I think I would like to offer Jim Jordan out.  Ring, mat, cage, whatever he wants.  Speed-talking, lying little twerp.

starsrift: Still waiting to hear why nobody whined about the first 18 coronaviruses.

It's because they're all dead.


OMG, there are so many that deserve a swift face punch. I am not really a face-punching guy and I'm getting up in years and suffer arthritis in both hands. Maybe I can get a volunteer to do the face punching for me.

Holy crap! I left out Trump hugging the flag, McConnell, Eric "I have more gums than you do" Trump. Truly, there are so many deserving faces.
 
2021-01-21 5:27:07 AM  
How come these idiots always bring up places like Pittsburgh, there are probably more jobs in Biotech in Pittsburgh now than steel working jobs. Bet they want all the mill jobs up in Lowell MA to come back next.
 
2021-01-21 5:36:26 AM  

nytmare: erik-k: ParallelUniverseParking: Cruz is trying to inherit Trumps mob. They come pre-brainwashed and trained to respond well to horrible people with no character so he thinks he has a shot.

Except Trump had the "charisma of audacity."

Cruz has all the appeal of a chunk of a mold-encrusted congealed fat cementing a mass of used asswipes together on the side of a sewer pipe.

Cruz came in 2nd in the 2016 Republican primary. I don't know why.


I don't know how the supposedly rugged males of Texas vote for a dude who won't even stand up for his wife against a fat loudmouth from Queens.
 
2021-01-21 6:04:22 AM  

HammerHeadSnark: McConnell


Christ, how'd we miss that?  And Don Jr.  And Roger Stone.  And, and, and.....
 
2021-01-21 6:06:40 AM  
Hey, give Ted some credit.  He didn't think it had anything to do with Paris HIlton
 
2021-01-21 6:09:55 AM  

PaulRB: Ted Cruz is an insult to warts everywhere.

It appears Ted is gearing up for 2024.  He thinks the nightmare Trump cult will just be sitting waiting for Ted.  That's the horse he's betting on.  Stay turned for 2024's Moronpalooza.


Warts live in a colony through a root system. You have to go after the whole colony of warts to get it to go away.
 
2021-01-21 6:14:38 AM  

nytmare: erik-k: ParallelUniverseParking: Cruz is trying to inherit Trumps mob. They come pre-brainwashed and trained to respond well to horrible people with no character so he thinks he has a shot.

Except Trump had the "charisma of audacity."

Cruz has all the appeal of a chunk of a mold-encrusted congealed fat cementing a mass of used asswipes together on the side of a sewer pipe.

Cruz came in 2nd in the 2016 Republican primary. I don't know why.


And he was, by far, the better of the 2 options.
 
2021-01-21 6:17:37 AM  

HighOnCraic: I seem to recall that exact same dumb joke floating around in 2015, when the agreement was first signed.  Seriously, doesn't he have any competent, internet-savvy people on his staff to stop him from posting stupid nonsense like this?


No. His staff are all quitting. I think his dad is answering the phone now.
 
2021-01-21 6:18:46 AM  

Tanqueray: HammerHeadSnark: Donnie ha'f scoop

I have no idea what platform this is on, but apparently he thinks he's Simba and running in 2024.
[i.imgur.com image 361x643]


bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.comView Full Size


What hyenas overrunning Pride Rock may look like.

/And I still think "Be Prepared" is Trumper bingo for lines like "Quid pro quo you're expected [kill gesture] to take certain duties on board", "prepare for the coup of the century", as well as that whole fascist goose-stepping hyena march, etc.
//If you had to vilify Democrats through Disney, I'd pick Wreck-it-Ralph or Frozen for turning the hero/villain dynamic on its head.
///Since "the cruelty is the point" has been their mantra the past four years.
 
2021-01-21 6:23:43 AM  

The Envoy: HammerHeadSnark: McConnell

Christ, how'd we miss that?  And Don Jr.  And Roger Stone.  And, and, and.....


The punk kid from pipeline protest?
 
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