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(Jewish Daily Forward)   Once again Christians confuse Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" with a religious hymn when it's really about Jewish sex   (forward.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, Leonard Cohen, Yolanda Adams, Jewish people, Cohen's storied song, Judaism, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Church services, misuse of Leonard Cohen  
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5909 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jan 2021 at 3:30 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-01-21 2:30:39 AM  
Is there anything Christians can't confuse, conflate, and confabulate?
 
2021-01-21 3:07:40 AM  
I didn't care for the original version and none of the cover versions have done a damn thing to improve on it. Sing that song in the shower if you must but I'm long past sick of hearing it.
 
2021-01-21 3:15:20 AM  
I've heard it numerous times at religious services or overhearing someone play it on Christian radio.  It seems pretty obvious it's about an orgasm.

I rather like the Jeff Buckley version, but Leonard Cohen is the OG.
 
2021-01-21 3:36:38 AM  
Is this the Jewish equivalent of playing "Every Breath You Take" at your wedding reception?
 
2021-01-21 3:37:06 AM  
Isn't the Old Testament mostly about Jewish sex?
 
2021-01-21 3:37:30 AM  
This is why my inauguration song will be Soundgarden's "Big Dumb Sex"
 
2021-01-21 3:37:59 AM  
Ironically, the only correct usage of the original Cohen version of the song is in the somewhat maligned Watchmen movie.
 
2021-01-21 3:40:50 AM  
The meaning of songs is in the ear of the beholder and the artist has ZERO say in it.
 
2021-01-21 3:41:14 AM  
Every song is about sex if you're imaginative enough.
-Grover 'Steamer' Cleveland
 
2021-01-21 3:42:00 AM  
You heard the article, folks. From now on if we want to pay respects to anyone or anything, it should be done with strip club anthems!

All She Wants To Do Is Dance
Youtube wFBHBSPvZbw
 
2021-01-21 3:43:32 AM  
Nope. That was the perfect song for a Covid memorial service in the US. After a 4 year build up, 85,000,000 people all came at the same time.
 
2021-01-21 3:45:07 AM  

maxandgrinch: Every song is about sex if you're imaginative enough.
-Grover 'Steamer' Cleveland


Black Lace - Agadoo
Youtube POv-3yIPSWc
 
2021-01-21 3:46:56 AM  
"Music fans shake fists at sky" is not a new story.
 
2021-01-21 3:47:56 AM  
This is absurd. Next you'll tell me that Springstein's "Born in the USA" is something other than a love-song to our great nation.
 
2021-01-21 3:49:21 AM  
Prefer Loudon Wainwright III's version.
 
2021-01-21 3:50:09 AM  

fragMasterFlash: I didn't care for the original version and none of the cover versions have done a damn thing to improve on it. Sing that song in the shower if you must but I'm long past sick of hearing it.


The West Wing Season 3 Posse Comitatus - Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley
Youtube cxX-woxYZ84
 
2021-01-21 3:50:23 AM  
I've never actually read the lyrics nor heard more than the chorus, but the song is WAAAAAY more complicated than David and Bathsheba. Not gonna lie, but if you hear the song and all you think of is sex.... you might be a pervert.

/literally the definition of "not helping"
 
2021-01-21 3:51:16 AM  

Stibium: I've never actually read the lyrics


derp. Meant to say I hadn't read them before reading TFA
 
2021-01-21 3:53:37 AM  
I'm not sure if it's about sex. Maybe the struggle of losing faith? I'm not a believer so I never struggle. I like the tune tough the chorus is bit repetitive.

I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this: the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, hmm
Well, your faith was strong, but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew ya
She tied you to the kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Well baby, I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew ya
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch
And love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Well, maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who has seen the Light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
 
2021-01-21 3:54:00 AM  
(Darn it), yeah, first time I heard it, the part about being "tied to a kitchen chair" hinted it wasn't Jesus & Mother Mary in the Gospels. Doesn't anyone listen to lyrics besides refrains? People are dumb.
 
2021-01-21 3:54:50 AM  
One Toke Over The Line - Lawrence Welk - WTF! (1971)
Youtube t8tdmaEhMHE
 
2021-01-21 3:56:53 AM  
Popa Chubby does a howlin good version
 
2021-01-21 3:59:16 AM  
But as Biden prepared to be sworn in, another musical scandal arose. Creedence Clearwater's "Fortunate Son" played as Trump left the White House.

Talk about musically clueless.
 
2021-01-21 4:08:19 AM  

Stibium: I've never actually read the lyrics nor heard more than the chorus, but the song is WAAAAAY more complicated than David and Bathsheba. Not gonna lie, but if you hear the song and all you think of is sex.... you might be a pervert.

/literally the definition of "not helping"


Doesn't it have some sampson and delilah shiat going on too? I think some later covers added more sexuality to it, but I've always had the impression it was pretty sexual.
 
2021-01-21 4:10:35 AM  

FlameDuck: I'm not sure if it's about sex. Maybe the struggle of losing faith? I'm not a believer so I never struggle. I like the tune tough the chorus is bit repetitive.

I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this: the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, hmm
Well, your faith was strong, but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew ya
She tied you to the kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Well baby, I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew ya
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch
And love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Well, maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who has seen the Light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah


So all about temptation.
 
2021-01-21 4:12:30 AM  
One thing! It has to be about one thing because when it's pornography I'll know it when I see it.
 
2021-01-21 4:14:56 AM  

whither_apophis: This is why my inauguration song will be Soundgarden's "Big Dumb Sex"


LOL. I can tell people don't know the song because you should have more funnies than mine.
 
2021-01-21 4:15:24 AM  

Snapper Carr: Is this the Jewish equivalent of playing "Every Breath You Take" at your wedding reception?


You don't like songs about stalking?
 
2021-01-21 4:18:16 AM  
Well, that's going to make watching Shrek with the kids awkward
 
2021-01-21 4:19:53 AM  
Didn't some broad on SNL sing this song while dressed up as Hillary Clinton to somehow honor her right after she lost to Trump?  ...my recollection is that the "performance" got wonderful reviews of how touching and emotional it was, even from the real Hillary. I found it strange.
 
2021-01-21 4:20:38 AM  
Honestly The Future could have been written for the Trump presidency.

media1.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-21 4:22:23 AM  
Well, makes sense to the people that keep yelling "oh God! Oh God! Oh God!"

/feels awkward invoking God in such a situation
 
2021-01-21 4:23:17 AM  

You'd turn it off when I was halfway across: Honestly The Future could have been written for the Trump presidency.

[media1.tenor.com image 390x640]


Truly hips don't lie.
 
2021-01-21 4:25:56 AM  
I remember when the Republicans used John Mellencamp's "Little Pink Houses" as a rallying song.

Man, he was pissed.
As was any thinking human being would be.

These people have no clue--and revel in their ignorance.
 
2021-01-21 4:26:45 AM  
I prefer that we be totally honest about the reality we are living. Play this next time:

Everybody knows - Leonard Cohen
Youtube Lin-a2lTelg
 
2021-01-21 4:27:45 AM  
I've always thought of it as "the Agnostic's Hymn". I was perplexed when it became popular with Christians. I decided that it is also somewhat appropriate for Christians who struggle with their faith. And that's many of us. Particularly those who struggle with sexual sins. I've heard of studies that suggest that the sexual behavior of Christians is sexually identical to non-Christians.
 
2021-01-21 4:30:55 AM  
So they're saying it should be verboten?
 
2021-01-21 4:31:45 AM  

gregscott: I've always thought of it as "the Agnostic's Hymn". I was perplexed when it became popular with Christians. I decided that it is also somewhat appropriate for Christians who struggle with their faith. And that's many of us. Particularly those who struggle with sexual sins. I've heard of studies that suggest that the sexual behavior of Christians is sexually identical to non-Christians.


Well, I mean they sing hallelujah like a hundred times, so it must be magic sky wizard worthy.
 
2021-01-21 4:33:35 AM  

salsashark1: The meaning of songs is in the ear of the beholder and the artist has ZERO say in it.


Making references to 4,000 year old stories that sort of underpin the Judeo-Christian-Islamic world does somewhat imply a certain meaning, though......
 
2021-01-21 4:36:45 AM  
When Hozier's "Take Me To Church" came out, I played it for my now ex-wife.  She said she didn't like it and didn't like listening to trash music.  A month or two later, she said I had to listen to this song she'd discovered.  It was Hozier's "Take Me to Church."

I asked her, "do you remember when I played this song for you a while back?"  She did not recall me doing so.  I asked her, "do you know what this song is about?"  She said it was a beautiful and inspirational religious song.

I told her it was about the Church's hypocrisy when it comes to gay relationships, love, and turning the other cheek.  She walked out of the room, like I was the asshole.
 
2021-01-21 4:36:48 AM  

valenumr: FlameDuck: I'm not sure if it's about sex. Maybe the struggle of losing faith? I'm not a believer so I never struggle. I like the tune tough the chorus is bit repetitive.

So all about temptation.


Maybe, though -i think it's more about that temptation turning you away from your path. I don't know Cohens religion, but my secular brain makes me think that the temptation of David or Samson caused them to stray from their high ideals and maybe that's what Cohen was thinking. In the end he recovers:  "maybe there is a God above". He finds meaning again.

I think it's a very appropriate song for the occasion. Maybe it's the humanity who was tempted, strayed and suffered but there is still hope.
 
2021-01-21 4:38:16 AM  
And TLDR, can someone please summarize this for a goyim?
 
2021-01-21 4:38:52 AM  

FlameDuck: valenumr: FlameDuck: I'm not sure if it's about sex. Maybe the struggle of losing faith? I'm not a believer so I never struggle. I like the tune tough the chorus is bit repetitive.

So all about temptation.

Maybe, though -i think it's more about that temptation turning you away from your path. I don't know Cohens religion, but my secular brain makes me think that the temptation of David or Samson caused them to stray from their high ideals and maybe that's what Cohen was thinking. In the end he recovers:  "maybe there is a God above". He finds meaning again.

I think it's a very appropriate song for the occasion. Maybe it's the humanity who was tempted, strayed and suffered but there is still hope.


Meant to say I don't how religious Cohen was writing this  - no reading glasses.
 
2021-01-21 4:42:16 AM  

FlameDuck: valenumr: FlameDuck: I'm not sure if it's about sex. Maybe the struggle of losing faith? I'm not a believer so I never struggle. I like the tune tough the chorus is bit repetitive.

So all about temptation.

Maybe, though -i think it's more about that temptation turning you away from your path. I don't know Cohens religion, but my secular brain makes me think that the temptation of David or Samson caused them to stray from their high ideals and maybe that's what Cohen was thinking. In the end he recovers:  "maybe there is a God above". He finds meaning again.

I think it's a very appropriate song for the occasion. Maybe it's the humanity who was tempted, strayed and suffered but there is still hope.


Well, I agree with your first point for sure. I'm not a poet. But the visual I'm getting in my head is the faithful straying for women. Perhaps the "cold and broken hallelujah" is the realization of failure, but then, it's kinda like "Fark it", I'm just gonna keep saying hallelujah, because this is awesome. Anyhow, I'm not religious at all, so I do like the song, but I'm not generally digging for deeper meaning.
 
2021-01-21 4:46:23 AM  
It's not just Christians. Wasn't that song in the movie Shrek?

Seems like this generations "Born in the USA".

People like the beat, but really don't understand the lyrics.
 
2021-01-21 4:47:15 AM  

FlameDuck: I'm not sure if it's about sex. Maybe the struggle of losing faith? I'm not a believer so I never struggle. I like the tune tough the chorus is bit repetitive.

You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew ya
She tied you to the kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah


The "Baffled King" is King David - the tl;dr is "Hey, Bathsheba, nice boobies. Lemme send your husband off to the front lines of battle. Aaw, shucks, he got killed. Let's get married! (O HAI GOD! Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?) OK, so while I was distracted by her boobies, my son tried to overthrow me and my kingdom sorta fell apart. While dealing with the latest family drama, I asked my roops to cut him some slack but they killed him. So my kid's dead, and my new wife Bathsheba's smarter kid, Solomon (you might have heard of him) takes over the throne after I'm gone. Anyways, she had Hallelulah-tier boobies, but in retrospect it was so not worth it."

(The haircutting is from the myth of Samson and Delilah - Samson was, uh, this guy who was totally badass as long as his hair was long. He gets a haircut, gets is ass kicked, but everybody forgets about him for so long that his hair grows back. WIth his hair and his strength restored, he collapses the bad guys' temple and kills everybody with him.)

And about this line from Elvis, 1958: "Samson told Delilah / Loud and clear / Keep your cotton-pickin' fingers / out muh curly hair!"

Elvis Presley - Hard Headed Woman (King Creole Edit)
Youtube 45D3BU6G8hg


You've also just learned something about the Samson Option, which is the middle-eastern way of saying "Mutual Assured Destruction."

tl;dr: even if we take the myths as entirely allegorical, that they were written at all and survived this long suggests that the middle east of 3000-odd years ago was basically the same shiatshow it is today.
 
2021-01-21 4:48:25 AM  
My favorite rendition.
k.d. lang performs Hallelujah - Vancouver 2010 Olympics Opening Ceremony | Music Monday
Youtube tcOQSk_cMO0
 
2021-01-21 4:50:37 AM  

Tom-Servo: Didn't some broad on SNL sing this song while dressed up as Hillary Clinton to somehow honor her right after she lost to Trump?  ...my recollection is that the "performance" got wonderful reviews of how touching and emotional it was, even from the real Hillary. I found it strange.


BTW, even on Fark, the term "some broad" is a bit dated.
 
2021-01-21 4:51:33 AM  

foo monkey: When Hozier's "Take Me To Church" came out, I played it for my now ex-wife.  She said she didn't like it and didn't like listening to trash music.  A month or two later, she said I had to listen to this song she'd discovered.  It was Hozier's "Take Me to Church."

I asked her, "do you remember when I played this song for you a while back?"  She did not recall me doing so.  I asked her, "do you know what this song is about?"  She said it was a beautiful and inspirational religious song.

I told her it was about the Church's hypocrisy when it comes to gay relationships, love, and turning the other cheek.  She walked out of the room, like I was the asshole.


My man... I'm glad you are free from that. Yikes.
 
2021-01-21 4:55:56 AM  

FlameDuck: I'm not sure if it's about sex. Maybe the struggle of losing faith? I'm not a believer so I never struggle. I like the tune tough the chorus is bit repetitive.

I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this: the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, hmm
Well, your faith was strong, but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew ya
She tied you to the kitchen chair
She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Well baby, I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew ya
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch
And love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Well, maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who has seen the Light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah


If this is about sex, isn't thus blasphemous?
🤔

/
Personally I'm not getting any of it.
I see a Samson reference. And some other names and things found in the bible.
And the hallelujah part.
Meh. I don't know what this song is about. But. It looks like garbage written out.
 
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