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(Mental Floss) Weeners How can martial artists get hit in the crotch without being hurt? Asking for a friend   (mentalfloss.com) divider line
    More: Weeners, Martial arts, Mixed martial arts, Chinese martial arts, Wang Liutai, Testicle, Bruce Lee, Chinese kung fu practitioner, footage of Liutai  
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480 clicks; posted to Sports » on 21 Jan 2021 at 8:43 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



30 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-01-20 10:35:07 PM  
No.

Next question.
 
2021-01-20 10:55:04 PM  
It's most definitely one part fakery amongst the Buddhist Kung Fu monks much like many shamanic traditions.  Most probably have some sort of protective wear under their clothes but are also toughing a portion of it out. A direct shot to the testicles from anyone would hurt the most mentally disciplined monk if everything was on the up and up.
 
2021-01-21 3:16:22 AM  
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2021-01-21 6:03:56 AM  
Many practitioners of the marital arts have their testicles removed- kept by their spouse in a substitute scrotum called a purse. To compensate for having insufficient testerone males will often have discussions and arguments about sports. Such interactions are helpful in easing the pain felt by the loss of testes, but this activity usually leads to high-fives, chest-bumps, jerseys, and mutually gratifying fellatio. The afflicted are also prone to acquiring sportscars, motorcycles, large trucks, firearms, and TF subscriptions.

Oh, wait, this was about *martial* arts. Nevermind.
 
2021-01-21 7:21:20 AM  

freakingmoron: Many practitioners of the marital arts have their testicles removed- kept by their spouse in a substitute scrotum called a purse. To compensate for having insufficient testerone males will often have discussions and arguments about sports. Such interactions are helpful in easing the pain felt by the loss of testes, but this activity usually leads to high-fives, chest-bumps, jerseys, and mutually gratifying fellatio. The afflicted are also prone to acquiring sportscars, motorcycles, large trucks, firearms, and TF subscriptions.

Oh, wait, this was about *martial* arts. Nevermind.


But enough about Pence, he's gone.
 
2021-01-21 7:36:37 AM  
Stay out of the dojo.

Safe to assume Farkers are in no danger.
 
2021-01-21 7:58:54 AM  
Balls...don't hit back.
 
2021-01-21 9:28:47 AM  
Answer: Woowoo and trick blocking.
 
2021-01-21 9:35:20 AM  
Billy Quan - Yard Sale of Fury
Youtube CUp1BAd7WWE
 
2021-01-21 9:40:03 AM  
Kick me in the jimmy
Youtube RzCnrpfUaAk
 
2021-01-21 9:52:10 AM  
there was an image of an old VHS tape that went around the internet 15 years ago, iron crotch/something to do with a guy picking up cinder blocks with his jumblies.  hilarious picture that i wish i still had to send to people.

Tried and tried to find it recently but never had any luck.
 
2021-01-21 9:56:16 AM  
The first? How?

Man In the Crowed Yelled "Kick him in the dick" during UFC match
Youtube G5rGd0Ri7KE


Dicks are weird. You could get kicked, punched, or what have you in the dick and it'd be just like anywhere else while other things done to the dick are fantastic and certainly don't feel like anywhere else. Except for those who have dicks on their backs, of course.

Hit in the balls though? Oh you're done, you're sooooooooo done. I don't know if balls get more sensitive over time but all my buddies and I would constantly go for the balls as kids and I couldn't imagine doing that now. Every kid went for the balls, everywhere in the world.
 
2021-01-21 9:58:08 AM  
I vaguely remember reading something about in ancient Japan (don't know if this is still done) but extra large little boys who were to be groomed to become Sumo wrestlers were taught to push their testicles back up when the "descended."  Don't know if this is a happening thing as I don't remember what age (if ever) my own testicles descended.  Any fark Sumo experts here read the same thing or was this some fantasy thing I read in a James Clavell novel?
 
2021-01-21 10:02:31 AM  
media.tenor.comView Full Size


Ah, I see you are very proficient in the Drunken Yam Bag technique.
 
2021-01-21 10:09:43 AM  
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2021-01-21 10:42:54 AM  
You need to exercise the area vigorously with full skin-on-skin contact. You should do it so much that you develop thick callouses. Once the area is iron-hard it will be able to withstand any attack.
 
2021-01-21 11:08:40 AM  
They charge good money for that around here....

i.makeagif.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-21 11:52:21 AM  
"I'm willing to bet if I put the guy on an exam table and hit him with a reflex hammer in the testicles, he wouldn't be able to tolerate it," Kelly says.

I love this quote FTFA.
 
2021-01-21 12:02:32 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-21 12:03:58 PM  

BeesNuts: Answer: Woowoo and trick blocking.


"The trick is not minding that is hurts"

Lawrence of Arabia Trick is not minding that it hurts
Youtube TvQViPBAvPk
 
2021-01-21 12:50:53 PM  
I'm using this every chance I get.
images2.minutemediacdn.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-21 1:38:29 PM  

Porkbelly: I vaguely remember reading something about in ancient Japan (don't know if this is still done) but extra large little boys who were to be groomed to become Sumo wrestlers were taught to push their testicles back up when the "descended."  Don't know if this is a happening thing as I don't remember what age (if ever) my own testicles descended.  Any fark Sumo experts here read the same thing or was this some fantasy thing I read in a James Clavell novel?


Ian Fleming, I guess . I had the same info in my head and went to look it up before I posted about it on here. I used to own all the original Bond books in paperback so that is probably where I picked up the disinfo.  But maybe it is in Shogun too- I read that a long time ago .
 
2021-01-21 2:14:04 PM  

freakingmoron: Porkbelly: I vaguely remember reading something about in ancient Japan (don't know if this is still done) but extra large little boys who were to be groomed to become Sumo wrestlers were taught to push their testicles back up when the "descended."  Don't know if this is a happening thing as I don't remember what age (if ever) my own testicles descended.  Any fark Sumo experts here read the same thing or was this some fantasy thing I read in a James Clavell novel?

Ian Fleming, I guess . I had the same info in my head and went to look it up before I posted about it on here. I used to own all the original Bond books in paperback so that is probably where I picked up the disinfo.  But maybe it is in Shogun too- I read that a long time ago .


There are actually ZERO Bond books that mention anything about Japan and Sumo unless my Ken Jennings-like memory is failing me.
 
2021-01-21 2:25:25 PM  
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2021-01-21 3:32:14 PM  
Need help soonish?
 
2021-01-21 6:02:04 PM  

Porkbelly: freakingmoron: Porkbelly: I vaguely remember reading something about in ancient Japan (don't know if this is still done) but extra large little boys who were to be groomed to become Sumo wrestlers were taught to push their testicles back up when the "descended."  Don't know if this is a happening thing as I don't remember what age (if ever) my own testicles descended.  Any fark Sumo experts here read the same thing or was this some fantasy thing I read in a James Clavell novel?

Ian Fleming, I guess . I had the same info in my head and went to look it up before I posted about it on here. I used to own all the original Bond books in paperback so that is probably where I picked up the disinfo.  But maybe it is in Shogun too- I read that a long time ago .

There are actually ZERO Bond books that mention anything about Japan and Sumo unless my Ken Jennings-like memory is failing me.


I don't remember anything in it about Sumo, but pushing the balls up is in You Only Live Twice. I believe the context is ninjas, but it has been decades.
 
2021-01-21 6:46:39 PM  

Fursecution: Porkbelly: freakingmoron: Porkbelly: I vaguely remember reading something about in ancient Japan (don't know if this is still done) but extra large little boys who were to be groomed to become Sumo wrestlers were taught to push their testicles back up when the "descended."  Don't know if this is a happening thing as I don't remember what age (if ever) my own testicles descended.  Any fark Sumo experts here read the same thing or was this some fantasy thing I read in a James Clavell novel?

Ian Fleming, I guess . I had the same info in my head and went to look it up before I posted about it on here. I used to own all the original Bond books in paperback so that is probably where I picked up the disinfo.  But maybe it is in Shogun too- I read that a long time ago .

There are actually ZERO Bond books that mention anything about Japan and Sumo unless my Ken Jennings-like memory is failing me.

I don't remember anything in it about Sumo, but pushing the balls up is in You Only Live Twice. I believe the context is ninjas, but it has been decades.


FWIW the article I linked says that Tiger Tanaka tells Bond that the Japanese commandos use the testicle tuck technique that was part of Sumo training. All BS but whatever. Some of the other articles quote the text from YOLT and it is Sumo.

/ My name is Tuck, Testicle Tuck.
 
2021-01-21 7:08:28 PM  

freakingmoron: Fursecution: Porkbelly: freakingmoron: Porkbelly: I vaguely remember reading something about in ancient Japan (don't know if this is still done) but extra large little boys who were to be groomed to become Sumo wrestlers were taught to push their testicles back up when the "descended."  Don't know if this is a happening thing as I don't remember what age (if ever) my own testicles descended.  Any fark Sumo experts here read the same thing or was this some fantasy thing I read in a James Clavell novel?

Ian Fleming, I guess . I had the same info in my head and went to look it up before I posted about it on here. I used to own all the original Bond books in paperback so that is probably where I picked up the disinfo.  But maybe it is in Shogun too- I read that a long time ago .

There are actually ZERO Bond books that mention anything about Japan and Sumo unless my Ken Jennings-like memory is failing me.

I don't remember anything in it about Sumo, but pushing the balls up is in You Only Live Twice. I believe the context is ninjas, but it has been decades.

FWIW the article I linked says that Tiger Tanaka tells Bond that the Japanese commandos use the testicle tuck technique that was part of Sumo training. All BS but whatever. Some of the other articles quote the text from YOLT and it is Sumo.

/ My name is Tuck, Testicle Tuck.


I think I read that book around 1968 or so; can't really remember much of it.  I'm thinking it might have been a Clavell book or possibly a Michener book, but I can't recall his writing anything on Japan per se.
 
2021-01-22 12:19:22 AM  
ow, my balls
th.bing.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-22 6:35:34 AM  
When they're women.
 
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