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(Deadline)   Wait why are we getting a Willy Wonka prequel?   (deadline.com) divider line
    More: Stupid, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, Warner Bros, Chocolate Factory, Johnny Depp, Willy Wonka, wide releases date, Roald Dahl's Charlie, David Heyman  
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1264 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 19 Jan 2021 at 3:55 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



38 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-01-19 3:53:29 PM  
"Because you're wicked!"

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-19 3:56:31 PM  
Prequel fails without Christopher Lee.
 
2021-01-19 3:56:35 PM  
So we can see Willie Wonka invade the land of the Ompah Lompahs and then make them his slaves.
 
2021-01-19 3:57:17 PM  
I don't get it. Didn't the terrible Depp version detail Wonka's past?

/No I am not watching it again to confirm, it was shiat.
 
2021-01-19 4:02:49 PM  
Who cares?  It will pale in comparison to the most Nic Cage movie ever.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-19 4:04:03 PM  
Making prequels is an awful habit!
 
2021-01-19 4:08:01 PM  
Because people smarter than you continue to know how to make money?
 
2021-01-19 4:11:47 PM  
So, a Nestle Documentary?
 
2021-01-19 4:14:17 PM  
When are we going to get The Great Glass Elevator adaptation we need? I want to see Vermicious Knids tearing shiat up!
 
2021-01-19 4:17:55 PM  

Darth Funjamin: When are we going to get The Great Glass Elevator adaptation we need? I want to see Vermicious Knids tearing shiat up!


https://comicyears.com/tv-shows/taika​-​waititi-dahl-series-netflix/
 
2021-01-19 4:31:32 PM  
Because a company owns the rights, and they want to make money. So they'll continue pumping out products with the IP until they can't anymore, or products using the IP become unprofitable. That's why.

If or when unprofitability has been reached then the IP gets shelved for a little while to cool off, then pulled back out again later to be re-regurgitated to make money appealing to our nostalgia. And it keeps working, so we'll keep getting old IP's getting the dead horse treatment until there's nothing left but a blood-stained depression in the ground.
 
2021-01-19 4:36:47 PM  
To find out that the "chocolate river" was just part of the sewage treatment that was refined, flavored and sold back to the people that shat it out in the first place. He was the "mad scientist recluse" of the town, so they let him do it. Yay! chocolate!
The Oompa Loompas were failed experiments.
The chocolate factory was initially supposed to be indoor, high tech farming.
 
2021-01-19 4:45:42 PM  
Here's my guess... Alex Lawther. Book it. Done.

assets.popbuzz.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-19 4:46:56 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Who cares?  It will pale in comparison to the most Nic Cage movie ever.
[Fark user image 850x1259]


Saw the trailer for that, definitely a Nic Cage on the Nic Cage scale as was Colour out of space.
 
2021-01-19 4:49:23 PM  

Kerr Avon: Rapmaster2000: Who cares?  It will pale in comparison to the most Nic Cage movie ever.
[Fark user image 850x1259]

Saw the trailer for that, definitely a Nic Cage on the Nic Cage scale as was Colour out of space.


Color Out of Space was 8/10 Nic Cage leather jackets. Solid Nic Cage, would Nic Cage again.

/ 1000% gonna see the Nic Cage Showbiz Pizza movie.
// Have Nic Cage and Keanu ever been in a movie together? Not equating the two actors, but if they haven't, they really need to.
 
2021-01-19 4:52:04 PM  

mongbiohazard: Because a company owns the rights, and they want to make money.


Milk that Farker!


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-19 4:53:49 PM  

fallingcow: Kerr Avon: Rapmaster2000: Who cares?  It will pale in comparison to the most Nic Cage movie ever.
[Fark user image 850x1259]

Saw the trailer for that, definitely a Nic Cage on the Nic Cage scale as was Colour out of space.

Color Out of Space was 8/10 Nic Cage leather jackets. Solid Nic Cage, would Nic Cage again.

/ 1000% gonna see the Nic Cage Showbiz Pizza movie.
// Have Nic Cage and Keanu ever been in a movie together? Not equating the two actors, but if they haven't, they really need to.


I'm expecting The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent to implode in a shower of Nic Cage leather jackets, it will be glorious.
 
2021-01-19 5:03:26 PM  
Because it's the last uncorrupted vestige of my childhood.

JasonOfOrillia: Prequel fails without Christopher Lee.


'splain plz?
 
2021-01-19 5:07:24 PM  

Odd Bird: Because it's the last uncorrupted vestige of my childhood.

JasonOfOrillia: Prequel fails without Christopher Lee.

'splain plz?


He played the father, Wilbur Wonka in the Depp version.
 
2021-01-19 5:09:13 PM  

Odd Bird: Because it's the last uncorrupted vestige of my childhood.

JasonOfOrillia: Prequel fails without Christopher Lee.

'splain plz?


the 2005 movie had a flashback to Wonka's youth where he had negative interactions with his dentist father played by Christopher Lee.  Hard to find someone with that ability to loom in this day and age.
 
2021-01-19 5:11:50 PM  

Michael J Faux: Because people smarter than you continue to know how to make money?


I wouldn't call it smarts. I could spend 1000 hours crafting a short film for youtube that 200 people will see, or 10 minutes creating "Darth Vader Farting" that 200,000 people will see.
 
2021-01-19 5:12:23 PM  

Kerr Avon: Odd Bird: Because it's the last uncorrupted vestige of my childhood.

JasonOfOrillia: Prequel fails without Christopher Lee.

'splain plz?

He played the father, Wilbur Wonka in the Depp version.


Thanks, it's been long time since I watched.
 
2021-01-19 5:14:01 PM  
Gene Wilder was and is Willy Wonka.

Gene Wilder is dead.

So no more Willy Wonka movies
 
2021-01-19 5:23:04 PM  
Oooooh, I hope they go to the original Loompa Land, as shown in the book

pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-19 5:24:23 PM  
Figures since we already got the sequel in Snowpiercer.
 
2021-01-19 5:27:12 PM  

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: Oooooh, I hope they go to the original Loompa Land, as shown in the book

[pbs.twimg.com image 654x451]


Gee, that's not racist at all.

/wait, or the opposite of that
 
2021-01-19 5:27:47 PM  
a: Because they've already done everything else. We're on Lap 3.
 
2021-01-19 5:29:43 PM  
After this fails at the box office do we get to hear a short morality song about the foolishness of making unnecessary prequels?

/doompety do
 
2021-01-19 5:46:50 PM  

Darth Funjamin: When are we going to get The Great Glass Elevator adaptation we need? I want to see Vermicious Knids tearing shiat up!


Didn't Roald Dahl hate the film adaption of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory and refuse to allow film adaptions to be made of The Great Glass Elevator.
 
2021-01-19 6:23:48 PM  
Oompa loompa doompity dee,
Nobody wants Wonka's backstory.
Oompa loompa doompity doh,
Straight to the bargain bin it will go.

Wonka works best as a mystery man.
Don't explain things just because you can.
Shouldn't you start with a simple remake?
To atone for that Depp mistake?
(A low point in Tim Burton's oeuvre.)

Oompa loompa doompity dai,
When you greenlighted this, were you high?
Not that I care; it's not my money.
Oompa.  Loompa.  Doompity dee.
 
2021-01-19 6:41:05 PM  

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: Oooooh, I hope they go to the original Loompa Land, as shown in the book

[pbs.twimg.com image 654x451]


Dahl was pretty clueless about the plight of black people.  After the NAACP came out against the depiction, he actually went back to the book and re-wrote the oompa loompas to resemble the orange skin/purple hair people as they were depicted in the movie.
But when it came to antisemitism in other aspects of his life he stuck to his guns and maintained his prejudices, because some things are worth fighting for, dammit!
 
2021-01-19 6:43:56 PM  

Eightballjacket: So we can see Willie Wonka invade the land of the Ompah Lompahs and then make them his slaves.


"Instead of enslaving an entire race of people to save them from their enemies, did you ever consider just buying them a gun?" - Neil Patrick Harris on the Willy Wonka Rifftrax.
 
2021-01-19 7:58:36 PM  
Call it Wanka.
 
2021-01-19 7:59:53 PM  
Please let Bryan Fuller direct. Pleaaaaaase.
 
2021-01-19 8:24:44 PM  
Because origin stories are awesome...IF they are done well...
 
2021-01-20 1:54:29 AM  

Darth Funjamin: When are we going to get The Great Glass Elevator adaptation we need? I want to see Vermicious Knids tearing shiat up!


This, bloody, this.
 
2021-01-20 9:00:10 AM  

thornhill: Darth Funjamin: When are we going to get The Great Glass Elevator adaptation we need? I want to see Vermicious Knids tearing shiat up!

Didn't Roald Dahl hate the film adaption of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory and refuse to allow film adaptions to be made of The Great Glass Elevator.


Yes, he swore not to let anyone make that film as long as he lived. But also that no one would remake the chocolate factory as long as he lived.
I'm pretty sure that the Depp version proves that The Great Glass Elevator has legs now
 
2021-01-20 9:30:32 AM  

JasonOfOrillia: Prequel fails without Christopher Lee.


Christopher Lee is no longer available.  However, Hayden Christensen is totally...

(ducks, jumps out window, lands in bushes, runs away)
 
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