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(Slate)   "I'm falling for a guy I met in a Reddit forum. I think it's going to work out really well. But how do I know that in real life he's the image he presents on the forum?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Friendship, WANT, Thing, Dear Prudence, single thing, Dear Prudence podcast voicemail, lot of last-minute excuses, live chat  
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346 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 18 Jan 2021 at 9:05 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



29 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-01-18 8:52:15 AM  
When he tricks you into his windowless van.
 
2021-01-18 8:53:09 AM  
bonjour...
 
2021-01-18 8:58:05 AM  
Uhh, video chat with him so you know what he looks like?
 
2021-01-18 9:01:18 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Or

Fark user imageView Full Size


Good luck on the restraining order. Godspeed on the abortion.
 
2021-01-18 9:03:04 AM  
Well, at least you can't get an STD from a bot.
 
2021-01-18 9:11:18 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-18 9:17:25 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-18 9:18:28 AM  
Speaking as a millionaire cowboy astronaut, I wish you the best.
 
2021-01-18 9:29:27 AM  
Men want to be respected by women. Women do not respect deceivers. Hence, whether electronically or IRL men never try to deceive.
 
2021-01-18 9:40:06 AM  
Well, on Reddit, every user is a sanctimonious, judgmental, narcissistic, insufferable, pseudo-intellectual know-it-all.

So.  Have at it?

/not like us here
 
2021-01-18 9:40:10 AM  
Imaginary lovers never disagree...

Do understand if you take the next step you will lose some of the fantasy of the situation. Prudie suggested the video chat. That would be one place to start. Or you could use some of the info from Reddit to Google possible matches (it's easier than you think).

Be prepared to be disappointed.
 
2021-01-18 9:42:23 AM  
article: 'I've never heard his voice or seen a picture of him, but we have mind-blowing virtual sex.'

Live your virtual life in SecondLife - and leave it there.
Try to mix the two at your peril.
 
2021-01-18 9:49:08 AM  
I say go for it. If you fell for a guy on Reddit, you are at born victim.
So, if he is a predator, it's a match made in heaven. And all will be right with the world.
 
2021-01-18 9:50:08 AM  

Rapmaster2000: Speaking as a millionaire cowboy astronaut, I wish you the best.


If I remember correctly, you're also very tall with a lush mane and bedroom eyes.
 
2021-01-18 9:53:45 AM  
what's a reddit?
 
2021-01-18 10:04:20 AM  
hey guys, what's going on in here?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-18 10:05:15 AM  

some_beer_drinker: what's a reddit?


A place for psychologists to find test subjects.
 
2021-01-18 10:11:58 AM  
1) I started out with BBSes "back in the day", so my experience from meeting people online into the real world is very different.  Suffice to say, I have set the bar low.  Nope, go lower.  You're still on the same floor?  I'm talking about going to the basement, breaking the concrete and digging under the foundation, THEN you set the bar.  If you live in an apartment complex, you have a LONG way to go to set that bar low, but I'm sure you can do it.  Just assume everyone you're talking to is homeless, hasn't showered in months, missing half their teeth, about 200 lbs overweight, farts constantly, ACTUALLY has advanced degrees AND knows what they're talking about in their subject but needs $5 for bus fare.  NOW were talking about setting the bar lower than that.  Good luck on meeting them and having a relationship, bring out their best side and hopefully they will bring out your best side, but meet in a public area with TWO escape routes and use a burner phone for your phone number.

2) First of all, why isn't he reaching out to his connections?  Do people dislike him, did he make someone angry in his professional career?  Is something else going on right now that is occupying his time?  Did he grab a degree that actually has career potential?  That isn't the question, though, is it?  Helping him lose negativity and offering quality support in a time-effective manner: Show him a couple episodes of Rick and Morty, ask him if he wants to be Jerry or not (nobody wants to be Jerry), then tell him to get a job, miserable or not (McDonalds is hiring), then the crappy job will help motivate him to get a better job, and trust me, when interviewing most interviewers I have dealt with will approve of working a crappy job to cover the bills while looking for a real job.

3) She's only negative because you haven't tried Butt Stuff.  It's obvious in every letter you wrote.

4) Bring Tequila.
 
2021-01-18 10:37:48 AM  

tdyak: 1) I started out with BBSes "back in the day", so my experience from meeting people online into the real world is very different.  Suffice to say, I have set the bar low.  Nope, go lower.  You're still on the same floor?  I'm talking about going to the basement, breaking the concrete and digging under the foundation, THEN you set the bar.


Farking that.  I'm sure it is way different now but back in the day (80s) when you would go to a user's meeting.....damn.
 
2021-01-18 10:55:55 AM  

some_beer_drinker: what's a reddit?


Fark in steroids itvarious from threads on current events to random subjects and stories.
 
2021-01-18 11:14:15 AM  
Seems legit.  I say go for it.
 
2021-01-18 11:26:28 AM  
1) It's Only Sex Talking One The Phone, Love Without A Face: My suggestion is enjoy what you have now.  I sincerely doubt there's anything long-term here, but that doesn't mean you stop having fun.  GTHOY.

2) Take This Job And Shove It, I Ain't Workin' Here No More: Everybody hates applying an interviewing.  I've been unemployed at times and for extended periods.  The good news is he's got a job and at the moment can be choosy and you should STFU and let him find the right fit.  If the right fit can be found, then I suspect his attitude will improve.

3) Don't Bring Me Down: Depression lies.  My friends with depression tended not to share because they expected what Catherine experienced.  And it sucks.  I also know it can be trying, but you do that for friends because you care.  That;s how you help.
 
2021-01-18 2:02:53 PM  
You don't. Next question.
 
2021-01-18 4:07:31 PM  

tdyak: 1) I started out with BBSes "back in the day", so my experience from meeting people online into the real world is very different.  Suffice to say, I have set the bar low.  Nope, go lower.  You're still on the same floor?  I'm talking about going to the basement, breaking the concrete and digging under the foundation, THEN you set the bar.  If you live in an apartment complex, you have a LONG way to go to set that bar low, but I'm sure you can do it.  Just assume everyone you're talking to is homeless, hasn't showered in months, missing half their teeth, about 200 lbs overweight, farts constantly, ACTUALLY has advanced degrees AND knows what they're talking about in their subject but needs $5 for bus fare.  NOW were talking about setting the bar lower than that.  Good luck on meeting them and having a relationship, bring out their best side and hopefully they will bring out your best side, but meet in a public area with TWO escape routes and use a burner phone for your phone number.

2) First of all, why isn't he reaching out to his connections?  Do people dislike him, did he make someone angry in his professional career?  Is something else going on right now that is occupying his time?  Did he grab a degree that actually has career potential?  That isn't the question, though, is it?  Helping him lose negativity and offering quality support in a time-effective manner: Show him a couple episodes of Rick and Morty, ask him if he wants to be Jerry or not (nobody wants to be Jerry), then tell him to get a job, miserable or not (McDonalds is hiring), then the crappy job will help motivate him to get a better job, and trust me, when interviewing most interviewers I have dealt with will approve of working a crappy job to cover the bills while looking for a real job.

3) She's only negative because you haven't tried Butt Stuff.  It's obvious in every letter you wrote.

4) Bring Tequila.


At least you're not bitter!

/of course, I'm not saying you're wrong mind you
//spot on really
///so I've heard
 
2021-01-18 4:18:35 PM  
Easy, you get pic 1 from them.

Then you share a pic of your car or house or whatever..

Then you ask them for a pic of theirs.

Then you ask for a selfie of them with that item. If still suspicious, get the same selfie a second time with a pinky finger in their ear.

Either they, as similar seekers of love via the internet, understand how common catfishing is and happily comply, perhaps doing something cute and silly, or they are catfishing you.
 
2021-01-18 6:39:35 PM  

MoriartyLives: Well, on Reddit, every user is a sanctimonious, judgmental, narcissistic, insufferable, pseudo-intellectual know-it-all.

So.  Have at it?

/not like us here


I've been thinking about this lately, and I think I've got it down to something that can fit one a meme:

-Redditors are mostly college-aged know-it-alls.

-Farkers are mostly Gen-X dead-inside know-it-alls.
 
2021-01-18 7:46:59 PM  

Fireproof: MoriartyLives: Well, on Reddit, every user is a sanctimonious, judgmental, narcissistic, insufferable, pseudo-intellectual know-it-all.

So.  Have at it?

/not like us here

I've been thinking about this lately, and I think I've got it down to something that can fit one a meme:

-Redditors are mostly college-aged know-it-alls.

-Farkers are mostly Gen-X dead-inside know-it-alls.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-18 9:11:09 PM  

Fireproof: MoriartyLives: Well, on Reddit, every user is a sanctimonious, judgmental, narcissistic, insufferable, pseudo-intellectual know-it-all.

So.  Have at it?

/not like us here

I've been thinking about this lately, and I think I've got it down to something that can fit one a meme:

-Redditors are mostly college-aged know-it-alls.

-Farkers are mostly Gen-X dead-inside know-it-alls.


There's lots of subtle implications to the age thing, though. Like Redditors are more clueless, but Farkers are more set in their ways.

/You can get a lot of Redditors on your side for virtually anything if you spin it in a way that fits their preferred narratives.
//Had to take a break from it recently when one of them discovered you could spin 9/11 conspiracies as "another shiatty thing the US government did."
 
2021-01-19 12:55:40 AM  

Rapmaster2000: Speaking as a millionaire cowboy astronaut, I wish you the best.


You're Maurice Minnefield?
 
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