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(AL.com)   Man rents car, gets horse instead   (al.com) divider line
    More: Murica, English-language films, Ford Motor Company, Walmart bag, Madison County man, Ford Taurus, government auction, good deal, United States  
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3660 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jan 2021 at 3:25 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



50 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-01-17 3:32:04 AM  
Not reading the article you submit is all the rage.
 
2021-01-17 3:32:12 AM  
$300k for 2 keys?  Better be farking mythical '80's China White that's never even been looked at funny much less cut.  200k, ok fine - 300?  No.
 
2021-01-17 3:32:29 AM  
"Note to readers: if you purchase something through one of our affiliate links we may earn a commission. "

Is it legal to get a commission on heroin?
 
2021-01-17 3:32:42 AM  
"'Nah, we got it all; don't worry about it," he was told.

Some fine police work, Lou.
 
2021-01-17 3:36:15 AM  
Can you imagine the utter hell his life would have become if he had been stopped on the way home? I doubt the police would buy your story that the drugs were left in there by the selling department even when you produced a receipt, because who would be stupid enough to miss 2kg of heroin?
 
2021-01-17 3:37:20 AM  

Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: Not reading the article you submit is all the rage.


Horse is a nickname for heroin.
 
2021-01-17 3:44:57 AM  

deniable_increlidibity: "Note to readers: if you purchase something through one of our affiliate links we may earn a commission. "

Is it legal to get a commission on heroin?


Only if you're the federal government.  See the, "Have you stopped beating your wife?" situation that tax stamp violations put drug importers into.  Got your stamps like a good goon?  Thanks for letting us know you're importing drugs, off to jail.  Didn't get your stamps?  Well in that case you're evading taxation, and importing drugs too.  Off to jail.

/I don't really have a lot of sympathy for them, mind you
//it's just one of those extremely dubious legal rulings
///were it not an 'in the service of good'-ish kind of thing I'd imagine it'd get struck as bullshiat, honestly
////emphasis "-ish"
 
2021-01-17 3:46:23 AM  
I'd be depressed if my life had led me to purchase a $500 Taurus, and even more so when my insurance company finds out it's worth $300,500.
 
2021-01-17 3:59:58 AM  

LordOfThePings: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: Not reading the article you submit is all the rage.

Horse is a nickname for heroin.


Yes. I've just never rented anything at an auction.
 
2021-01-17 4:01:08 AM  
Please, put me inside you

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-17 4:04:02 AM  
Laid Back - White Horse [Official Music Video]
Youtube mlYJf6CJXV8
 
2021-01-17 4:04:22 AM  

Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: LordOfThePings: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: Not reading the article you submit is all the rage.

Horse is a nickname for heroin.

Yes. I've just never rented anything at an auction.


Ah, missed that.
 
2021-01-17 4:06:27 AM  

ComaToast: I'd be depressed if my life had led me to purchase a $500 Taurus, and even more so when my insurance company finds out it's worth $300,500.


My dad gave me his 2003 Taurus that he didn't want to bother with selling. I gotta say, it totally goes to the store and back so far.
 
2021-01-17 4:14:50 AM  

Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: ComaToast: I'd be depressed if my life had led me to purchase a $500 Taurus, and even more so when my insurance company finds out it's worth $300,500.

My dad gave me his 2003 Taurus that he didn't want to bother with selling. I gotta say, it totally goes to the store and back so far.


If it's got the 24v 3.0 in it it'll probably go until it rusts out. I had 2 and a Sable, got each to at least 225k miles before rust took them out.  Other than the rear plugs requiring the head to be taken off and the alternator being buried they were great cars.
 
2021-01-17 4:16:10 AM  
Was it in the rocker panels?
 
2021-01-17 4:17:51 AM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: $300k for 2 keys?  Better be farking mythical '80's China White that's never even been looked at funny much less cut.  200k, ok fine - 300?  No.


I thought everything was spiked with fentanyl now and as potent as China White even if it looks like Mexican tar?

/glad I never chased the dragon
 
2021-01-17 4:20:50 AM  

El Rich-o: Was it in the rocker panels?


FTFA:
The car was "full of junk and all kinds of stuff," Joyner said. But he was told that anything inside was his now, and not to worry. "'Nah, we got it all; don't worry about it," he was told.
After towing the car back to Alabama, they popped the trunk and found a Walmart bag inside, Joyner told the station. Inside the bag were two bundles, heavily taped.


Apparently if you want to smuggle drugs through Alabama, all you need to do is borrow the car of a first year college student with a full time job and addiction to fast food.
 
2021-01-17 4:23:59 AM  

Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: LordOfThePings: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: Not reading the article you submit is all the rage.

Horse is a nickname for heroin.

Yes. I've just never rented anything at an auction.


Subby was obviously going for laughs with the headline. Not facts. That's kinda the MO here. You should try submitting some funny, if not factually accurate, headlines yourself. Some day you too could get a green light.

\not subby
 
2021-01-17 4:36:56 AM  
Ewww.. Nobody wants Walmart brand heroin.
 
2021-01-17 4:37:19 AM  

robodog: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: ComaToast: I'd be depressed if my life had led me to purchase a $500 Taurus, and even more so when my insurance company finds out it's worth $300,500.

My dad gave me his 2003 Taurus that he didn't want to bother with selling. I gotta say, it totally goes to the store and back so far.

If it's got the 24v 3.0 in it it'll probably go until it rusts out. I had 2 and a Sable, got each to at least 225k miles before rust took them out.  Other than the rear plugs requiring the head to be taken off and the alternator being buried they were great cars.


It does have the 24v 3.0. My dad took great care of it, too. 140k on it at the moment, hoping it lasts.
 
2021-01-17 4:39:40 AM  

Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: robodog: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: ComaToast: I'd be depressed if my life had led me to purchase a $500 Taurus, and even more so when my insurance company finds out it's worth $300,500.

My dad gave me his 2003 Taurus that he didn't want to bother with selling. I gotta say, it totally goes to the store and back so far.

If it's got the 24v 3.0 in it it'll probably go until it rusts out. I had 2 and a Sable, got each to at least 225k miles before rust took them out.  Other than the rear plugs requiring the head to be taken off and the alternator being buried they were great cars.

It does have the 24v 3.0. My dad took great care of it, too. 140k on it at the moment, hoping it lasts.


Side note:
I named it Clint. Clint Taurus.
 
2021-01-17 4:46:31 AM  

phishrace: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: LordOfThePings: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: Not reading the article you submit is all the rage.

Horse is a nickname for heroin.

Yes. I've just never rented anything at an auction.

Subby was obviously going for laughs with the headline. Not facts. That's kinda the MO here. You should try submitting some funny, if not factually accurate, headlines yourself. Some day you too could get a green light.

\not subby


Yeah, but "Man buys car" would have worked just as well.
 
2021-01-17 4:47:54 AM  

phishrace: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: LordOfThePings: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: Not reading the article you submit is all the rage.

Horse is a nickname for heroin.

Yes. I've just never rented anything at an auction.

Subby was obviously going for laughs with the headline. Not facts. That's kinda the MO here. You should try submitting some funny, if not factually accurate, headlines yourself. Some day you too could get a green light.

\not subby


Sorry, I didn't know snark wasn't allowed.
 
2021-01-17 4:57:56 AM  

fragMasterFlash: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: $300k for 2 keys?  Better be farking mythical '80's China White that's never even been looked at funny much less cut.  200k, ok fine - 300?  No.

I thought everything was spiked with fentanyl now and as potent as China White even if it looks like Mexican tar?

/glad I never chased the dragon


Yeah that'd be why I specified the semi-mythical '80's version.  Anymore it can be all kinds of weird shiat under that name up to and including freak-ass designer stuff that's gonna do gods know what.

/I haven't either - a good chunk of the rest of the catalogue but smack was too obvious of a trap even for my dumb ass
//dilaudid and morphine though?  Welllll....
///none of 'em are anything you want to catch, let's leave it at that
 
2021-01-17 4:58:54 AM  

Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: robodog: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: ComaToast: I'd be depressed if my life had led me to purchase a $500 Taurus, and even more so when my insurance company finds out it's worth $300,500.

My dad gave me his 2003 Taurus that he didn't want to bother with selling. I gotta say, it totally goes to the store and back so far.

If it's got the 24v 3.0 in it it'll probably go until it rusts out. I had 2 and a Sable, got each to at least 225k miles before rust took them out.  Other than the rear plugs requiring the head to be taken off and the alternator being buried they were great cars.

It does have the 24v 3.0. My dad took great care of it, too. 140k on it at the moment, hoping it lasts.

Side note:
I named it Clint. Clint Taurus.


Ed Pinkley Motors
Youtube fzL2w9wpteU
 
2021-01-17 5:01:49 AM  

Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: robodog: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: ComaToast: I'd be depressed if my life had led me to purchase a $500 Taurus, and even more so when my insurance company finds out it's worth $300,500.

My dad gave me his 2003 Taurus that he didn't want to bother with selling. I gotta say, it totally goes to the store and back so far.

If it's got the 24v 3.0 in it it'll probably go until it rusts out. I had 2 and a Sable, got each to at least 225k miles before rust took them out.  Other than the rear plugs requiring the head to be taken off and the alternator being buried they were great cars.

It does have the 24v 3.0. My dad took great care of it, too. 140k on it at the moment, hoping it lasts.


From my experience with Fords the transmission will go out before the engine does.
 
2021-01-17 5:15:20 AM  

Neondistraction: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: robodog: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: ComaToast: I'd be depressed if my life had led me to purchase a $500 Taurus, and even more so when my insurance company finds out it's worth $300,500.

My dad gave me his 2003 Taurus that he didn't want to bother with selling. I gotta say, it totally goes to the store and back so far.

If it's got the 24v 3.0 in it it'll probably go until it rusts out. I had 2 and a Sable, got each to at least 225k miles before rust took them out.  Other than the rear plugs requiring the head to be taken off and the alternator being buried they were great cars.

It does have the 24v 3.0. My dad took great care of it, too. 140k on it at the moment, hoping it lasts.

From my experience with Fords the transmission will go out before the engine does.


Great! You just cursed my Clint Taurus.
 
2021-01-17 5:58:19 AM  
Why would they need to tow the taurus from TN to AL? Is it not drivable? Is a non drivable taurus worth $500??
 
2021-01-17 6:16:39 AM  

duenor: Why would they need to tow the taurus from TN to AL? Is it not drivable? Is a non drivable taurus worth $500??


Because there probably wasn't a legal title available. Sherrif Joe Don would have locked their happy asses up.
 
2021-01-17 6:16:56 AM  

uttertosh: Ewww.. Nobody wants Walmart brand heroin.


It's from China, it's not very well made, and it doesn't last.
 
2021-01-17 7:23:33 AM  

sinko swimo: uttertosh: Ewww.. Nobody wants Walmart brand heroin.

It's from China, it's not very well made, and it doesn't last.


And after two hours, you're hungry for more.
 
2021-01-17 7:58:49 AM  
Some people have all the luck.
 
2021-01-17 9:00:15 AM  

Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: ComaToast: I'd be depressed if my life had led me to purchase a $500 Taurus, and even more so when my insurance company finds out it's worth $300,500.

My dad gave me his 2003 Taurus that he didn't want to bother with selling. I gotta say, it totally goes to the store and back so far.


ABC cars... They get you from a to b.

/Owned a bunch of them when I was a poor. //There is no other way to get 40,000 miles for every $1,000 you spend.
///Plus taxes are cheaper.
 
2021-01-17 9:06:25 AM  

duenor: Why would they need to tow the taurus from TN to AL? Is it not drivable? Is a non drivable taurus worth $500??


Worth about $250 at a scrap yard and $350 at a salvage yard... Maybe a little bit more but not 500 bucks.
 
2021-01-17 9:29:45 AM  
Legally, it should belong to him.  Police can't anything about it now. See the case of Finders v. Keepers.
 
2021-01-17 10:13:51 AM  

eclecticman666: duenor: Why would they need to tow the taurus from TN to AL? Is it not drivable? Is a non drivable taurus worth $500??

Worth about $250 at a scrap yard and $350 at a salvage yard... Maybe a little bit more but not 500 bucks.


It was probably drivable, but he had to get home to transfer the title, and get legal plates.  There are a ton of nice cars sold on "bring-a-trailer" that drive just fine, but you bring a trailer.
 
2021-01-17 10:31:47 AM  
Not "instead" but "as well". He got the car and the horse.
 
2021-01-17 10:33:19 AM  

robodog: Can you imagine the utter hell his life would have become if he had been stopped on the way home? I doubt the police would buy your story that the drugs were left in there by the selling department even when you produced a receipt, because who would be stupid enough to miss 2kg of heroin?


Novel idea.  Drug smugglers should by all their mule cars at auction.  If they get caught, refer to story above.
 
2021-01-17 10:37:34 AM  

Steampunk Gallagher: El Rich-o: Was it in the rocker panels?

FTFA:
The car was "full of junk and all kinds of stuff," Joyner said. But he was told that anything inside was his now, and not to worry. "'Nah, we got it all; don't worry about it," he was told.
After towing the car back to Alabama, they popped the trunk and found a Walmart bag inside, Joyner told the station. Inside the bag were two bundles, heavily taped.


Apparently if you want to smuggle drugs through Alabama, all you need to do is borrow the car of a first year college student with a full time job and addiction to fast food.


When we were in high-school my friend always borrowed his moms car. It was a late 70's Malibu. She was a complete slob. Everything got tossed onto the back floor boards. It included rotting fast food bags, newspapers and flyers to name some of it.

One night we bought some weed and got pulled over. The cops began to search the car and us. They found nothing on us and let us go. Matt asked John where he hid the weed, "I just threw the bag on the floor"
 
2021-01-17 10:48:43 AM  
In other news, you can disguise your bundles of heroin by putting them in Wal-Mart bags.
 
2021-01-17 11:39:35 AM  
Kid sings the Rubberbandits
Youtube r5nlOwsMN-I


NSFW language, but it's adorable as hell!
 
2021-01-17 12:03:47 PM  

Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: LordOfThePings: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: Not reading the article you submit is all the rage.

Horse is a nickname for heroin.

Yes. I've just never rented anything at an auction.


Then you haven't lived, man...
 
2021-01-17 12:04:45 PM  
He bought the car with drugs in it. The drugs are there for his. Charge Him!
 
2021-01-17 12:45:32 PM  
Somebody and the local PD sucks at searching a car for illegal substances.
 
2021-01-17 12:55:46 PM  
and now the people looking for someone to blame for losing their 300k worth of product have a name...

Sure it's not technically this guy's fault. I'm sure that will be given due consideration by the murderous heroin cartel.

Awaiting the follow-up story about his body parts washing up on a shore somewhere
 
2021-01-17 1:29:44 PM  
Daddy!!! You sold my car???
Fark user imageView Full Size

 
2021-01-17 3:07:29 PM  

grimlock1972: Somebody and the local PD sucks at searching a car for illegal substances.


Either that or they planned to buy the car at auction themselves and didn't follow through.
 
2021-01-17 4:46:50 PM  
Update:
Minimally interesting story now downgraded to not all all interesting.

https://whnt.com/news/madison-county-​m​an-finds-drugs-in-car-bought-from-gove​rnment-auction-in-tennessee/

/spoiler: it wasn't heroin
 
2021-01-17 7:00:05 PM  

RancidJerky: Update:
Minimally interesting story now downgraded to not all all interesting.
https://whnt.com/news/madison-county-m​an-finds-drugs-in-car-bought-from-gove​rnment-auction-in-tennessee/
/spoiler: it wasn't heroin


Yeah, the 2 kilos of heroin that he brought to the front desk cops were identified as 1.5 by the evidence room officer, who took the kilo of horse to the lab, where it was identified as no, not heroin at all, sorry we bothered you with this bag of cement, nothing to see here at all.

I keep seeing stories in the news about people finding or getting sent big bags of weed and turning it in to the police.  Never happens to me, though one of my apartment neighbors tossed a bunch of unflattened boxes in the cardboard recycling, lid wouldn't even close, and when I took them out to flatten them so I could fit my cardboard in and so the garbagemen wouldn't refuse to take it, one of the shoeboxes clanked. From a couple jars of dispensary weed and a grinder :-)  Which I took care of for them.
 
2021-01-18 6:34:51 AM  
It could have been worse:

Would I Lie to You? - Did Kevin Bridges buy a Horse?
Youtube qkpyd2lr4dI
 
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