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(Guardian)   The Satanists of the greater Poughkeepsie area say there will be hell to pay for the arsonist who set their house on fire   (theguardian.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Satanism, New York, Satan, Member of Parliament, Members of the Church of Satan, New York City, Peter H Gilmore, Halloween House  
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2197 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jan 2021 at 8:25 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-01-16 8:28:31 PM  
Oh the irony, that Satanists better exemplify the teachings of christ than do christians.
 
2021-01-16 8:29:53 PM  
The CoS stopped being anything but a Twitter feed and money collector many years ago. Sorry to hear about the arson.
 
2021-01-16 8:30:24 PM  
Arthur Brown could not be reached for comment.
 
2021-01-16 8:36:19 PM  

Mock26: Oh the irony, that Satanists better exemplify the teachings of christ than do christians.


Satan was the protagonist in the Bible.

God killed WAY more people.

God endorsed rape, slavery, murder, and genocide.

God totally farked over a guy, killed his whole family, and ruined his life, just to prove that he'd still worship Him if He did so.

God considered Satan the enemy because Satan's big crime was to encourage humanity to seek knowledge themselves rather than taking God's word for everything.

I don't recall any time in the Bible when Satan's behavior comes even close to the immoral, unethical, inhumane misdeeds of God.

Oh, and the whole "Prince of Lies" thing is such a joke. God lies CONSTANTLY in the Bible.
 
2021-01-16 8:36:23 PM  

Mock26: Oh the irony, that Satanists better exemplify the teachings of christ than do christians.


The would be The Satanic Temple. The Church of Satan is still Ayn Rand with Goth clothes.
 
2021-01-16 8:37:12 PM  
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2021-01-16 8:48:04 PM  
This is why I joined the church of the flying spaghetti monster instead. Colanders don't catch on fire.
 
2021-01-16 8:52:15 PM  
I wonder who this Isis vermouth person is, and what kind of shenannigans...oh sweet farking fark hyper realistic dolls? Yeah that might get you an arson, if creepy enough.
 
2021-01-16 8:52:16 PM  
former owner, Joe "Netherworld" Mendillo, and church members "dark side Martha Stewart" and "Isis Vermouth".

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2021-01-16 8:54:27 PM  

WilderKWight: Mock26: Oh the irony, that Satanists better exemplify the teachings of christ than do christians.

Satan was the protagonist in the Bible.

God killed WAY more people.

God endorsed rape, slavery, murder, and genocide.

God totally farked over a guy, killed his whole family, and ruined his life, just to prove that he'd still worship Him if He did so.

God considered Satan the enemy because Satan's big crime was to encourage humanity to seek knowledge themselves rather than taking God's word for everything.

I don't recall any time in the Bible when Satan's behavior comes even close to the immoral, unethical, inhumane misdeeds of God.

Oh, and the whole "Prince of Lies" thing is such a joke. God lies CONSTANTLY in the Bible.


Those are Holy Alternative Facts, you heathen.
 
2021-01-16 8:54:49 PM  
Killings by religion
Christians.  52,349,826.5
Satanists.               582
 
2021-01-16 8:55:36 PM  
Did you check for someone picking their feet?
 
2021-01-16 8:56:16 PM  
WilderKWight: I don't recall any time in the Bible when Satan's behavior comes even close to the immoral, unethical, inhumane misdeeds of God.

Job.  All sorts of bad shiat happened to everyone around him thanks to Satan - dead kids, servants, disease - all sorts of horrors.  Mind you, that parable just supports your general thesis as the moral is basically, "I'm god you biatches don't get to question ME - you'd BETTER get on your knees MF."  As a lagniappe, all Satan's crap literally comes to pass because god decides to allow it to test Job.

/the Midrash goes on a bit about this kind of thing
//this kinda shiat is pretty much where the big strain of, "We don't understand how this works, and we ain't gonna  Oy... faith I 'spose" thought that veins through Judaism comes from
///personally, I'm more prone to go with, "Well aren't you an asshole authoritarian archetype then?  fark off."
 
2021-01-16 9:00:57 PM  
I bet they can't wait to die, because hell is a lot nicer than Poughkeepsie.
 
2021-01-16 9:01:40 PM  
Dammit Poughkeepsie, you used to be coo-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Almost made it through that.

/still though, this sucks
 
2021-01-16 9:05:29 PM  
A hex?

I thought CoS was atheists with an overdeveloped sense of melodrama
 
2021-01-16 9:05:50 PM  
Isn't Hell Toupee the name of the thing that lives on top of Trump's head?
 
2021-01-16 9:12:45 PM  

WilderKWight: Satan was the protagonist in the Bible.


Satan in the Bible is just a random servant of God whose role was to test humans under God's orders.

The fallen angel who rules hell and tempts people to do evil, entertainingly, is not a Christian myth, it's an islamic one that's not part of Christian canon.  Angels in the canon literally cannot disobey god, due to ambiguously being part of him in a similar way to how the trinity works.  While the Islamic myth did jump across the mediterranean at some point and made it into Dante's fanfiction and then Milton's equally non-canonical fanfiction... in the canonical, bible-consistent versions that cast satan as the ruler of hell he's a completely obedient angel who's there on assignment and just as happy about it as every other angel is about their own assignment (Christian angels do not actually possess free will, so "generally of no opinion on the matter" is a good summary of their personal feelings about literally anything).

I enjoy bringing up that every evangelical preacher who talks about Satan is essentially professing to be a Muslim rather than a Christian for what I feel are obvious reasons.

// Angels actually can't disobey god in Islam either, btw, Iblis/Satan is a djinn in their mythology, basically a separate, magical version of humanity that were kind of understandably pissed when God did a second draft and made the new, weaker version the kings of Earth instead of them.  But the whole rebellion thing is very muslim-specific, as in Christianity doctrinally only humans even have the capacityto contemplate such rebellion.
 
2021-01-16 9:16:47 PM  

iheartscotch: Isn't Hell Toupee the name of the thing that lives on top of Trump's head?


CSB: There was actually a cover band named Bill's Toupee in the Fishkill area (just south of Poughkeepsie) in the early 2000s. To be blunt I didn't think they were all that great but I really loved their name.
 
2021-01-16 9:17:22 PM  
Your suffering will be legendary, even in Hell.
Youtube 7nnaeO6QSPI
 
2021-01-16 9:17:27 PM  
Hell to pay?

Makes sense.  If a Catholic church burned down I reckon some upstream entity would pay to rebuild.  Probably not Heaven, though.
 
2021-01-16 9:19:13 PM  

Jim_Callahan: Iblis/Satan is a djinn in their mythology, basically a separate, magical version of humanity that were kind of understandably pissed when God did a second draft and made the new, weaker version the kings of Earth instead of them.


I always really dug that about Islam. They were talking about parallel universes in 800-something AD. That's dope.
 
2021-01-16 9:21:08 PM  

anuran: Mock26: Oh the irony, that Satanists better exemplify the teachings of christ than do christians.

The would be The Satanic Temple. The Church of Satan is still Ayn Rand with Goth clothes.


*laughs Atlas Shruggdedly*
 
2021-01-16 9:27:29 PM  

joker420: Killings by religion
Christians.  52,349,826.5
Satanists.               582


Looks like the Satanist are losing and need to step up their game
 
2021-01-16 9:31:03 PM  
I live near that house and pass it often. It's so beautiful. A true shame that it won't be there anymore.
 
2021-01-16 9:36:46 PM  
Well, hell to pay can sometimes be worse than Hell to Pay.

//depends on the woman
 
2021-01-16 9:54:11 PM  

anuran: The CoS stopped being anything but a Twitter feed and money collector many years ago.


So pretty much like a lot of Christian churches, but without the child rape and overthrowing the government?
 
2021-01-16 9:56:31 PM  

ko_kyi: A hex?

I thought CoS was atheists with an overdeveloped sense of melodrama


Perhaps a modern "hex" is entering an enemy's phone number, address and email into every spammy website and marketing database with a full-on "Opt in" status. That would essentially be handing your enemy over to the demonic legion.
 
2021-01-16 9:57:08 PM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: WilderKWight: I don't recall any time in the Bible when Satan's behavior comes even close to the immoral, unethical, inhumane misdeeds of God.

Job.  All sorts of bad shiat happened to everyone around him thanks to Satan - dead kids, servants, disease - all sorts of horrors.  Mind you, that parable just supports your general thesis as the moral is basically, "I'm god you biatches don't get to question ME - you'd BETTER get on your knees MF."  As a lagniappe, all Satan's crap literally comes to pass because god decides to allow it to test Job.

/the Midrash goes on a bit about this kind of thing
//this kinda shiat is pretty much where the big strain of, "We don't understand how this works, and we ain't gonna  Oy... faith I 'spose" thought that veins through Judaism comes from
///personally, I'm more prone to go with, "Well aren't you an asshole authoritarian archetype then?  fark off."


Growing up Jewish made it hard for me to "get" Satanism. It's the cosmic equivalent of worshipping the Meter Maid.
 
2021-01-16 10:00:12 PM  
Isis Vermouth is the name of my islamic extremist Dean Martin cover band....
 
2021-01-16 10:00:51 PM  

X-Geek: anuran: The CoS stopped being anything but a Twitter feed and money collector many years ago.

So pretty much like a lot of Christian churches, but without the child rape and overthrowing the government?


The Gospel Grinders also have RL churches, do charities, provide some social services, have ceremonies to mark significant life events and festivals, and a few other things
 
2021-01-16 10:15:16 PM  

anuran: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: WilderKWight: I don't recall any time in the Bible when Satan's behavior comes even close to the immoral, unethical, inhumane misdeeds of God.

Job.  All sorts of bad shiat happened to everyone around him thanks to Satan - dead kids, servants, disease - all sorts of horrors.  Mind you, that parable just supports your general thesis as the moral is basically, "I'm god you biatches don't get to question ME - you'd BETTER get on your knees MF."  As a lagniappe, all Satan's crap literally comes to pass because god decides to allow it to test Job.

/the Midrash goes on a bit about this kind of thing
//this kinda shiat is pretty much where the big strain of, "We don't understand how this works, and we ain't gonna  Oy... faith I 'spose" thought that veins through Judaism comes from
///personally, I'm more prone to go with, "Well aren't you an asshole authoritarian archetype then?  fark off."

Growing up Jewish made it hard for me to "get" Satanism. It's the cosmic equivalent of worshipping the Meter Maid.


Heh!   Ok now I wish I had about 200 smarts.

/salute
 
2021-01-16 10:19:19 PM  

anuran: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: WilderKWight: I don't recall any time in the Bible when Satan's behavior comes even close to the immoral, unethical, inhumane misdeeds of God.

Job.  All sorts of bad shiat happened to everyone around him thanks to Satan - dead kids, servants, disease - all sorts of horrors.  Mind you, that parable just supports your general thesis as the moral is basically, "I'm god you biatches don't get to question ME - you'd BETTER get on your knees MF."  As a lagniappe, all Satan's crap literally comes to pass because god decides to allow it to test Job.

/the Midrash goes on a bit about this kind of thing
//this kinda shiat is pretty much where the big strain of, "We don't understand how this works, and we ain't gonna  Oy... faith I 'spose" thought that veins through Judaism comes from
///personally, I'm more prone to go with, "Well aren't you an asshole authoritarian archetype then?  fark off."

Growing up Jewish made it hard for me to "get" Satanism. It's the cosmic equivalent of worshipping the Meter Maid.


https://www.dailystar.co.uk/pics/pict​u​res/gallery/meet-meter-maids-sexy-comm​onwealth-18346579 yeah,so?
 
2021-01-16 10:42:53 PM  
I was home at the time. Really.
 
2021-01-16 11:07:13 PM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Satan's crap literally comes to pass because god decides to allow it to test Job.


No. In Job, Yahweh sends each of the plagues. They come directly from Yahweh.

Had to read it in first year uni. The seminar had 2 profs and it was great watching them argue.
 
2021-01-16 11:33:50 PM  

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: iheartscotch: Isn't Hell Toupee the name of the thing that lives on top of Trump's head?

CSB: There was actually a cover band named Bill's Toupee in the Fishkill area (just south of Poughkeepsie) in the early 2000s. To be blunt I didn't think they were all that great but I really loved their name.


Poughkeepsie Pyro would be a great band name and/or arsonist
 
2021-01-16 11:49:02 PM  

Jim_Callahan: // Angels actually can't disobey god in Islam either, btw, Iblis/Satan is a djinn in their mythology, basically a separate, magical version of humanity that were kind of understandably pissed when God did a second draft and made the new, weaker version the kings of Earth instead of them. But the whole rebellion thing is very muslim-specific, as in Christianity doctrinally only humans even have the capacityto contemplate such rebellion.


The more you know.
 
2021-01-17 12:00:26 AM  
Hail Satan

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-17 1:29:30 AM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: WilderKWight: I don't recall any time in the Bible when Satan's behavior comes even close to the immoral, unethical, inhumane misdeeds of God.

Job.  All sorts of bad shiat happened to everyone around him thanks to Satan - dead kids, servants, disease - all sorts of horrors.  Mind you, that parable just supports your general thesis as the moral is basically, "I'm god you biatches don't get to question ME - you'd BETTER get on your knees MF."  As a lagniappe, all Satan's crap literally comes to pass because god decides to allow it to test Job.

/the Midrash goes on a bit about this kind of thing
//this kinda shiat is pretty much where the big strain of, "We don't understand how this works, and we ain't gonna  Oy... faith I 'spose" thought that veins through Judaism comes from
///personally, I'm more prone to go with, "Well aren't you an asshole authoritarian archetype then?  fark off."


God and Satan were settling a bet.  Neither of them cared about Job or the humans any more than Michael Vick cared about his dogs.  I think the dog analogy is a good one, as Job did get a treat at the end but only after completely submitting.
 
2021-01-17 1:33:00 AM  

beezeltown: ko_kyi: A hex?

I thought CoS was atheists with an overdeveloped sense of melodrama

Perhaps a modern "hex" is entering an enemy's phone number, address and email into every spammy website and marketing database with a full-on "Opt in" status. That would essentially be handing your enemy over to the demonic legion.


Modern hexes start with 0x.  That's a zero, not the letter o, although it's an easy mistake to make.  I wonder if some time traveler went back in time and started all the animal sacrifice stuff that way.

/ not really
// Ox isn't a word in Aramaic, probably, I'm too lazy to look it up
/// 0x03
 
2021-01-17 1:41:40 AM  

anuran: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: WilderKWight: I don't recall any time in the Bible when Satan's behavior comes even close to the immoral, unethical, inhumane misdeeds of God.

Job.  All sorts of bad shiat happened to everyone around him thanks to Satan - dead kids, servants, disease - all sorts of horrors.  Mind you, that parable just supports your general thesis as the moral is basically, "I'm god you biatches don't get to question ME - you'd BETTER get on your knees MF."  As a lagniappe, all Satan's crap literally comes to pass because god decides to allow it to test Job.

/the Midrash goes on a bit about this kind of thing
//this kinda shiat is pretty much where the big strain of, "We don't understand how this works, and we ain't gonna  Oy... faith I 'spose" thought that veins through Judaism comes from
///personally, I'm more prone to go with, "Well aren't you an asshole authoritarian archetype then?  fark off."

Growing up Jewish made it hard for me to "get" Satanism. It's the cosmic equivalent of worshipping the Meter Maid.


It's part secular humanist trolling and part "I hate my father."  It's the latter part that I find so repulsive, more so than I find the former part attractive.  I've known people who were so insistent that Christianity wouldn't define them that they religiously did the opposite.  They were completely unable to comprehend the notion that they were still allowing themselves to be defined by Christian principles.  Is it really so hard to say "Oh, that's a neat set of morality tales and self-serving divine right of kings tales promoted by the ruling elites from the ancient Eastern Mediterranean through the Enlightenment" and just completely disregard it?
 
2021-01-17 1:52:35 AM  

recombobulator: I think the dog analogy is a good one, as Job did get a treat at the end but only after completely submitting.


Actually the more I think about it the more I like this analogy considering that an important part of training a dog is to get it to understand that the toys are not their toys, they're your toys that you allow them to play with.  The food bowl is not their food bowl, it's your food bowl that you allow them to eat out of.  All good things come through obedience.

CSB:

If you don't do this you may well wind up with a dog that growls and snarls if for some reason you have to pick up the food bowl while food is still in it, or take away a toy.

You don't have to be mean about it.  Just have them obey a few commands before you put their food bowl down, and practice picking it back up again after 20 seconds and having them obey a few more commands before putting it down again.  Same with toys.  If there's any possessiveness then food time / play time is over for half an hour.  Ending play time momentarily is also a great way to train puppies (who have teeth that are sharp as fark) to be gentle with their mouths.  If they bite down even a little bit just yelp like it hurt and turn away for 30 seconds.  They'll stop biting down almost immediately.

Anyway, end CSB.
 
2021-01-17 2:11:24 AM  

Bennie Crabtree: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Satan's crap literally comes to pass because god decides to allow it to test Job.

No. In Job, Yahweh sends each of the plagues. They come directly from Yahweh.

Had to read it in first year uni. The seminar had 2 profs and it was great watching them argue.


Yes, but ultimately it's Satan that comes up with all the ideas bar the finale.  Pretty much goads him on with, "Oh yeah, well what about THIS?"   Which just reinforces the, "Don't fark with me pal I'm god and don't you forget it." because he invites him to come up with his worst, and Job (somewhat inexplicably IMO) still hangs on to his Stockholm Syndrome so hard Patty Hearst would blink.  Ol' Beardy got to put everybody in their place in that one.
 
2021-01-17 3:30:44 AM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Yes, but ultimately it's Satan that comes up with all the ideas bar the finale.  Pretty much goads him on with, "Oh yeah, well what about THIS?"   Which just reinforces the, "Don't fark with me pal I'm god and don't you forget it." because he invites him to come up with his worst, and Job (somewhat inexplicably IMO) still hangs on to his Stockholm Syndrome so hard Patty Hearst would blink.  Ol' Beardy got to put everybody in their place in that one.


Whenever a Christian tries to convert me, or even just tries to engage me in a conversation about their god, a situation that happens frequently since my wife's parents' church went "open and affirming" a few years back and just craves us being their Pet Lesbians (I try to explain my wife's a lesbian and I'm not but this is beyond their ken), I warn them that if I were to believe in their deity that his behavior, as well as his terrible failures, especially in the 20th century, would force me to be a Maltheist, believing their god exists but is evil, and as a generally good person I'd have to actively oppose them, so I'd hardly join any Christian church although I suppose Church of Satan exists... and since Maltheists go to hell they'd be sending me straight to hell.

But really, all the real raised 'none' people I know sort of share this conclusion with me...if the Abrahamic god exists as described in the Bible, he's terrible, in a way that ranges from a contrarian asshole to completely evil and needing to be fought against. It's like being taught the premise of the Abrahamic god as good as a kid is the only way you don't see it.

That said, I hope the arsonists are nailed to the wall, and charged with a hate crime, if hate crimes are to be a thing, but preferably with terrorism.
 
2021-01-17 12:31:37 PM  
COS   HEX   i was my understanding there would be no math !!
 
2021-01-17 1:06:48 PM  
If I was gullible enough to believe in religion my choice would between either satanists, them girls are freaky, or Sikhism the most honorable religion.
 
2021-01-17 2:24:39 PM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Bennie Crabtree: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Satan's crap literally comes to pass because god decides to allow it to test Job.

No. In Job, Yahweh sends each of the plagues. They come directly from Yahweh.

Had to read it in first year uni. The seminar had 2 profs and it was great watching them argue.

Yes, but ultimately it's Satan that comes up with all the ideas bar the finale.  Pretty much goads him on with, "Oh yeah, well what about THIS?"   Which just reinforces the, "Don't fark with me pal I'm god and don't you forget it." because he invites him to come up with his worst, and Job (somewhat inexplicably IMO) still hangs on to his Stockholm Syndrome so hard Patty Hearst would blink.  Ol' Beardy got to put everybody in their place in that one.


Ehhhhh okay I guess so. Satan sees a chance to expose Yahweh's capirice. I think Job's book is important to understanding the value of the prophets who negotiate lawls and punishments in the Pentateuch. Satan is not responsible for what Yahweh does, but Satan seems to know what Yahweh does far better than Job.
 
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