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(Law and Crime)   A man who acts as his own lawyer has a fool for a client. A man who has this guy as his lawyer is just a fool   (lawandcrime.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, Lawyer, Robert Sanford, United States Capitol, Capitol Police officers, federal prosecutors, Mr. Sanford, Prosecutor, United States Capitol Police  
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4567 clicks; posted to Politics » on 16 Jan 2021 at 6:02 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-01-16 1:45:59 PM  
"He's embarrassed to be in this situation."

Lots of people get embarrassed when they are caught.
 
2021-01-16 1:48:04 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-16 1:52:58 PM  
You know.... And I feel really dumb for this ... But I just connected the iddity (not sure if this is ironic) of the firefighter using a fire extinguisher to attack a cop.
 
2021-01-16 2:06:44 PM  
Robert Sanford, the former firefighter charged with assaulting three Capitol Police officers by hitting them in the head with a fire extinguisher during the U.S. Capitol siege on January 6, has obtained legal counsel.


I think you meant to say that he's a big dummy, subby.
 
2021-01-16 2:11:22 PM  
"The sword my client used to stab the victim wasn't even sharp"  Good call, should work.
 
2021-01-16 2:24:09 PM  
A good bit of the mass is in the metal shell used to hold the propellant and the extinguishing agent. "I only used a two pound hammer instead of a three pound."
 
2021-01-16 2:28:30 PM  
I don't care if he had an empty plastic squirt gun.

Charge him, try him, convict him, and either hang him or put him in prison for life.
 
2021-01-16 2:28:50 PM  
Doesn't this give the suspect a chance to appeal on the basis of incompetent representation?
 
2021-01-16 2:40:16 PM  
My wife and I watched the Qanon shaman loser's lawyer on Cuomo the night before this idiot was on, and we both were gobsmacked that he would appear on the program, it was one of the worst trainwreck interviews we've ever seen. Then this idiot goes on the show the next day, and manages to f*ck up the interview even worse. It really makes you question the universities that gave these clowns law degrees.
 
2021-01-16 2:40:26 PM  
Assuming this fascist swings at more of a little league level then a pro level, you'll notice the velocity of swinging the fire extinguisher at the head of cop is inversely proportional to the weight of the extinguisher.  This would imply that an empty extinguisher would apply a greater force to the cops head then a full one because the fascist is capable of swinging it at a greater velocity.
Fark user imageView Full Size

/Citation: https://www.acs.psu.edu/dr​ussell/bats/​batw8.html
 
2021-01-16 2:46:40 PM  

HighOnCraic: "He's embarrassed to be in this situation."

Lots of people get embarrassed when they are caught.


Years ago, a doctor here diluted pain and cancer drugs for his patients. I worked at the law firm where his lawyers were, and was on the elevator to hear this conversation:

"He really is sorry, he said."

"Yeah, sorry he got caught."
 
2021-01-16 2:47:10 PM  
Yeah, I ran the guy over but the bed was empty and I hardly had any gas.
 
2021-01-16 2:56:32 PM  
There's a lot of that going around. Almost as if someone threw a LOT of chum in the water for half-assed ambulance chasers.
 
2021-01-16 3:03:53 PM  
"Sure I raped her, but I have a small dick."
 
2021-01-16 3:38:58 PM  
So he's basically arguing that it was assault with a deadly weapon but instead of inflicting blunt force trauma it was only blunt force trauma.

MAGA Rioter Attacked Cops With Fire Extinguisher at Capitol
Youtube mPQuJrLTB-M
 
2021-01-16 4:01:53 PM  
His client also broke a mirror which is normally seven years bad luck,
but this guy says he can plea it down to five.
 
2021-01-16 4:32:44 PM  

TomDooley: Assuming this fascist swings at more of a little league level then a pro level, you'll notice the velocity of swinging the fire extinguisher at the head of cop is inversely proportional to the weight of the extinguisher.  This would imply that an empty extinguisher would apply a greater force to the cops head then a full one because the fascist is capable of swinging it at a greater velocity.
[Fark user image 309x219]
/Citation: https://www.acs.psu.edu/dru​ssell/bats/batw8.html


I believe this one was tossed, not swung. Apparently there were a lot of fire extinguishers vs cop heads assaults that day.

I have no idea how the math would change, as I was told there would  be no math.
 
2021-01-16 6:06:36 PM  
The lawyers defending these assholes should just stop doing interviews. None of them sound bright.

/Not that I had much respect for lawyers anyway, but jeez
 
2021-01-16 6:07:21 PM  

namegoeshere: TomDooley: Assuming this fascist swings at more of a little league level then a pro level, you'll notice the velocity of swinging the fire extinguisher at the head of cop is inversely proportional to the weight of the extinguisher.  This would imply that an empty extinguisher would apply a greater force to the cops head then a full one because the fascist is capable of swinging it at a greater velocity.
[Fark user image 309x219]
/Citation: https://www.acs.psu.edu/dru​ssell/bats/batw8.html

I believe this one was tossed, not swung. Apparently there were a lot of fire extinguishers vs cop heads assaults that day.

I have no idea how the math would change, as I was told there would  be no math.


It still works.

I could throw a five pound kettlebell at you and crush your skull or throw a 50 pound kettlebell at you and have it land on my own foot. There's a balance to be struck.
 
2021-01-16 6:07:59 PM  
I'm struggling with this. His lawyer is saying his client is guilty but is playing up the angle that his client was following Trump's orders. What kind of defense is this? Is he hoping to draw a jury with some sympathetic Trumpers who will agree his actions were the right thing to do?
 
2021-01-16 6:08:15 PM  
I think we all owe Lionel Hutz an apology after this is all said and done.  The guy is Mark Garagos compared to these numbskulls.
 
2021-01-16 6:08:32 PM  
He should pay his lawyer with a check from an equally empty account.
 
2021-01-16 6:08:56 PM  

swaniefrmreddeer: My wife and I watched the Qanon shaman loser's lawyer on Cuomo the night before this idiot was on, and we both were gobsmacked that he would appear on the program, it was one of the worst trainwreck interviews we've ever seen. Then this idiot goes on the show the next day, and manages to f*ck up the interview even worse. It really makes you question the universities that gave these clowns law degrees.


There isn't a trial lawyer born who isn't a shameless attention where. That's why they're trial lawyers and not real estate lawyers.

They can't help themselves. When CNN called they were like mosquitoes flying towards a bug zapper.
 
2021-01-16 6:10:12 PM  
To repeat what Legal Eagle said on his YouTube channel, your lawyer has the right to remain silent and does not need to admit to the press that you did exactly what the authorities say you did.
 
2021-01-16 6:11:30 PM  
Hang on now, I think this lawyer should have a chance to prove the merits of his argument. And by that I mean he should go back on TV and let someone hit him over the head with an empty fire extinguisher, then we can all see for ourselves how much less risky it is.
 
2021-01-16 6:11:48 PM  
"I know my client pistol-whipped this guy to death but the gun wasn't loaded."

What a maroon.
 
2021-01-16 6:11:58 PM  
What's sad is that this guy sounds almost sane when compared to the QAnon Shaman's lawyer, or Rudy Colludy.
 
2021-01-16 6:12:07 PM  
you can tell the semi smart ones and the really stupid ones.  the semi smart ones have lawyers who are tell them to shut up, work with the FBI, plead guilty, and try for some deal.  These are the ones who got caught up in the moment.  The really stupid ones are the ones who got lawyers who are claiming they did nothing wrong or are saying that the pres should pardon them.
 
2021-01-16 6:13:16 PM  
At an atomic level surfaces don't really touch so that fire extinguisher never really hit the policeman. Study it out!
 
2021-01-16 6:14:30 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-16 6:15:55 PM  
So this guy must be going for the my lawyer isn't qualified to represent me defense ..
 
2021-01-16 6:18:55 PM  
Obligatory:

Lawyer Reacts to Lectern-Rioter's Lawyer #shorts
Youtube _rVsRmcE-u8
 
2021-01-16 6:20:31 PM  
I am baffled as to why this lawyers are even talking to the media at all. Just say the standard "No comment" or the even better "I can't talk about matters that are before the court" there is a reason why there is the 5th amendment for U.S. citizens.

"Oh but If I don't say anything my client looks guilty" yeah no shiate, but you can do even more damage if you try to explain away and end up making a fool of yourself.
 
2021-01-16 6:24:35 PM  
I'm guessing competent lawyers aren't lining up to represent those people. Also the magats might think Trump will pardon them so they probably don't want expensive lawyers with experience.
 
2021-01-16 6:30:33 PM  
"I need two grand up front to take your case. "

"Whadda 'bout a horned helmet and a case of Veggie Crumbles?"
 
2021-01-16 6:35:45 PM  

TheMysteriousStranger: To repeat what Legal Eagle said on his YouTube channel, your lawyer has the right to remain silent and does not need to admit to the press that you did exactly what the authorities say you did.


But there's a video of someone that looks like the person doing something. And everyone knows that no two people can look the same, and identity theft never happens.
 
2021-01-16 6:38:19 PM  

HighOnCraic: "He's embarrassed to be in this situation."

Lots of people get embarrassed when they are caught.


If only there was some way he could have prevented embarrassment....
 
2021-01-16 6:39:07 PM  
He should hire Saul Goodman because he doesn't need a criminal lawyer, he needs a criminal lawyer.
 
2021-01-16 6:46:45 PM  
"To which the attorney visibly swallows before replying: "

In this age of sub-par journalism a light shows in the darkness.
 
2021-01-16 6:47:33 PM  
My client is very remorseful to even be involved in this situation. He's a family man, he's a father of three, this is not who he is. He's embarrassed to be in this situation."

My client is the victim here! Can't you see that?
 
2021-01-16 6:53:19 PM  

Troy McClure: I'm struggling with this. His lawyer is saying his client is guilty but is playing up the angle that his client was following Trump's orders. What kind of defense is this? Is he hoping to draw a jury with some sympathetic Trumpers who will agree his actions were the right thing to do?


The binkie orders thing is all over the place. They are the victims.

Not the best legal defense, guys. Turn the magic eight ball again. Maybe you will have better luck next time.
 
2021-01-16 6:53:35 PM  
He did not touch the officer, so he did not "physically" attack him.  He used mass, velocity and gravity to throw the object, so be only "physicsally" attacked him.

Also the officer was wearing a helmet, so they were clearly asking for it.  Just look at how they were dressed.
 
2021-01-16 6:55:50 PM  

AnotherAussiefarker: I am baffled as to why this lawyers are even talking to the media at all. Just say the standard "No comment" or the even better "I can't talk about matters that are before the court" there is a reason why there is the 5th amendment for U.S. citizens.

"Oh but If I don't say anything my client looks guilty" yeah no shiate, but you can do even more damage if you try to explain away and end up making a fool of yourself.


Trial in the court of public opinion. It never works but they never stop either.
 
2021-01-16 6:59:24 PM  
Your honor my client used an 8oz hammer instead of a 12oz hammer because he only meant to kill him a little bit.
 
2021-01-16 7:01:00 PM  
Another one pretty much admitting his client is guilty? What even
 
2021-01-16 7:02:48 PM  

saturn badger: AnotherAussiefarker: I am baffled as to why this lawyers are even talking to the media at all. Just say the standard "No comment" or the even better "I can't talk about matters that are before the court" there is a reason why there is the 5th amendment for U.S. citizens.

"Oh but If I don't say anything my client looks guilty" yeah no shiate, but you can do even more damage if you try to explain away and end up making a fool of yourself.

Trial in the court of public opinion. It never works but they never stop either.


I agree that he's probably going that route, but "my client is sorry he accidentally intentionally murdered a cop and I have no defense" is a bold message.
 
2021-01-16 7:11:55 PM  
According to a Freeper thread from a few days ago, he tossed the fire extinguisher gently, which apparently makes it NOT a crime. They have also been able to determine that the police officer did not die as a result of being hit in the head with a fire extinguisher. He had a medical condition (unspecified) that killed him, absolutely no relation to being hit in the head with a heavy object.
 
2021-01-16 7:13:56 PM  
So the victim isn't dead?
 
2021-01-16 7:27:44 PM  

Gyrfalcon: So the victim isn't dead?


This one, no. This is a different cop hit by a different fire extinguisher.
 
2021-01-16 7:30:56 PM  

namegoeshere: Gyrfalcon: So the victim isn't dead?

This one, no. This is a different cop hit by a different fire extinguisher.


I thought the guy who died was beaten with an American flag?
 
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