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(Slate)   "My in-laws are buying a 'summer home' just up the street from our home. This is going to end poorly, right?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Family, daughter Sophie, months of the year, second house, weeks of help, good thing, much use, young kids  
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427 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 16 Jan 2021 at 6:50 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



33 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2021-01-16 1:31:03 AM  
Watch this:

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2021-01-16 1:42:22 AM  
IIRC, the proper response is to burn it to the ground
 
2021-01-16 2:43:22 AM  
Let them move in, then 6 months later, when they're settled and after it seems like you're both there to stay, move your family and household to the other side of the nation.

Make plans to see them then disappear in the middle of the night. Clear out the whole house. Poof! Gone.

Plant weird stories in neighbors' minds before you go. Ask them questions like, "Hey is there a new kid's show with grey elves, some little neighbor kids ran through my yard looking wearing masks. Two days later, one was peeping in my window at night. Creepy stuff."

With a little luck, they'll believe you were abducted by grey aliens and call into Coast to Coast AM.

The local police will tire of their Karen bullshiat and you will be free to lice a normal life.
 
2021-01-16 2:45:38 AM  
Buy the inlaws old house and move there. That should send a pretty clear message.
 
2021-01-16 2:49:51 AM  

Cafe Threads: Watch this:

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Hasn't the woman suffered enough already?
 
433 [TotalFark]
2021-01-16 3:23:47 AM  
Yup.   You'll probably hear about this sound investment foooorrrreeeeevvvvveeerrrrrr.
 
2021-01-16 6:13:28 AM  
Run
 
2021-01-16 7:22:55 AM  
Yes, the grandkids will come banging on the door first thing in the morning to open the freezer to see what they can find.  The dogs will come too because we give them snacks.  At least the grandkids take off their shoes when they come in.  The dogs don't care if they're muddy or not.  Oh, and the roosters like to crow just outside our bedroom window once they're out of the coop for the day.  Ahhh, country life next door to the kids with their grandkids.  At least they have a pool so we don't have to.  Plus there's about a hundred yards between houses so we don't really see each other all that much.
 
2021-01-16 7:47:34 AM  
Free babysitting!
 
2021-01-16 7:52:33 AM  
Your life as you know it is already over.
 
2021-01-16 7:55:55 AM  
Meet with every good divorce attorney in town. Give each $100 retainer so your spouse can't hire them.
 
2021-01-16 8:06:43 AM  
"Keeping your in laws out of your life. Yet another thing you have failed at since stealing our daughter from us."
 
2021-01-16 8:21:04 AM  

Gramma: Free babysitting!


You take advantage of them living there once and EVERY complaint you have against them will be invalidated forever. Period.

HER:  "It's been 20 years and your mother shows up uninvited at our house every single day, complains about the house, the way I raise the children, the laundry, our yard condition, your weight....I can't take this anymore."

HIM:  "Oh, SURE!  But when you want free babysitting it's fine, right?!"
 
2021-01-16 8:26:18 AM  
one of my nephews who is from a strict Catholic upbringing married a home schooled religious girl who's Dad owns a Chik-Fil-A. all her siblings had to work there. nephew treats his wife like livestock; they have 8 children wife is home schooling. every day nephew comes home his MIL and FIL is there. i'm waiting for the day when he snaps and murders the entire lot of them. he's living a lie, he's a closet gay, a weight lifter and wanted to be State Police. it's just a matter of time.
 
2021-01-16 8:29:00 AM  
Give them what they want, monkey's paw style. They want to see the kids? Perfect. Send them over all the time.  Don't feel like cooking tonight, send the kids to grandma. Want to take a weekend off and go to Vegas, pack up kids, you're going to grandma's. You need a place to practice your new drum set? Grandma's got plenty of space at her house. Need someone to take you to your 5 hour. Long dance recital,? Grandma has a car. Etc. Etc. Do it right and they'll sell the home and move to Florida within the year.
 
2021-01-16 8:29:55 AM  
If your spouse doesn't know, or doesn't care that this fills you with dread, that's a big problem.

Pay an attorney to send your husband and the in-laws a letter.  Nothing with any legal weight behind it necessarily, or maybe with some.  What do I know, I'm not a lawyer.

Some sort of cease and desist letter.  This is your warning that I don't want you people in my neighborhood, in my home, without advance notice, without explicit permission.  That you consider your husband's weaksauce failure to stand up to his promises to you to be mental spousal abuse, and continuing with such abuse to be a legal reason for potential divorce.

If you can't stand up for yourself, pay someone to do so for you.
 
2021-01-16 8:58:36 AM  

willwall: Give them what they want, monkey's paw style. They want to see the kids? Perfect. Send them over all the time.  Don't feel like cooking tonight, send the kids to grandma. Want to take a weekend off and go to Vegas, pack up kids, you're going to grandma's. You need a place to practice your new drum set? Grandma's got plenty of space at her house. Need someone to take you to your 5 hour. Long dance recital,? Grandma has a car. Etc. Etc. Do it right and they'll sell the home and move to Florida within the year.


This happens with daycare arrangements all the time.  Grandparents are over the moon when the infant is born, showers, the bragging t-shirts, non-stop baby pics, etc.  They promise the exhausted new parents to be that extra set of hands, and it will be so wonderful.  The parents look into day care, discover how expensive a quality rated place is, and decide to take Gran and Gramps up on the offer.  Within about 6 weeks, the reality sets in, and private schools and day care facilities are creating wait lists.

I've worked with an accredited private school that offers infant and preschool daycare for siblings, and it happens every fall.  By Christmas break, all the accounts that had one kid enrolled are now showing at least one more, sometimes two or three stair-step siblings being enrolled.  The payments are now split with parents paying and grandparents as well.  It's cheaper than convincing a jury that Gran and Gramps didn't mean to homicide all those little hellions.
 
2021-01-16 9:22:52 AM  
My wife struggles with boundaries due to how she was raised but does generally know better.  That said, (this would never happen for a myriad of reasons) if her mom moved into our neighborhood i would quietly shift my assets and then run some place where they couldn't track me down.
 
2021-01-16 9:27:04 AM  
This is just the first step. The next step is that it will become their "permanent" home.
 
2021-01-16 9:30:40 AM  
A couple of things going on here. 1)The fake letter writer lives in either Florida or Arizona (hence the "wintering" concept). 2) It would surprise me if they relocated there to get some space from the inlaws. 3) One is the main problem while the other is the enabler and goes along to get along.

This situation would work better if the winter house was across town, but the problem adult wouldn't see it this way.

I suggest poison.

Oh, on the second letter? Was it Mom or Dad that got propositioned?
 
2021-01-16 10:21:23 AM  
It can work. Just be clear from the beginning that they need to call before popping by. It's not unreasonable to coordinate schedules

Also, bonus free babysitting
 
2021-01-16 10:24:57 AM  
If its this house?...  you might not have a problem for long
themostimportantnews.comView Full Size

/ just don't let them babysit the kids there
// at least not the kids you like
 
2021-01-16 11:12:26 AM  
Is the wife a good cook? Then look forward to her cooking overly large meals and either inviting her parents over, or taking them food  so they don't have to cook.

Whichever it is, your food budget is about to skyrocket.
 
2021-01-16 11:18:14 AM  
doomed. DOOOOMED!
 
2021-01-16 11:50:49 AM  

Cafe Threads: Watch this:

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I mean, his wife gets so annoyed by her in-laws, she leaves him and shacks up with a random hospital janitor and moves to Indiana.
 
2021-01-16 11:59:51 AM  
that a 10-4.  there is virtually no way this development isn't gonna cause some issues.
 
2021-01-16 12:02:07 PM  
I don't get this.  I love my daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter.  I didn't like it so much when they lived six hours away, but I love it now that they are one hour away.  And that is close enough, thank you very much.  They need their space and we need ours.
 
TWX [TotalFark]
2021-01-16 3:22:33 PM  
Heh.  We'd actually been watching the market for our neighborhood, hoping to pick up one of the houses in walking-distance to try to convince my parents to move closer as they're getting older.  Unfortunately the expected housing-crash appears to have been forestalled by urban dwellers looking for suburban real estate.

We'd be fine with them in walking-distance.  Our daughter is their only grandchild and likely will be their only one.
 
2021-01-16 4:34:02 PM  
S.W.A.T them.
Shots fired at 3AM called in from a burner phone.
Problem solved
 
2021-01-16 7:45:58 PM  

cherryl taggart: willwall: Give them what they want, monkey's paw style. They want to see the kids? Perfect. Send them over all the time.  Don't feel like cooking tonight, send the kids to grandma. Want to take a weekend off and go to Vegas, pack up kids, you're going to grandma's. You need a place to practice your new drum set? Grandma's got plenty of space at her house. Need someone to take you to your 5 hour. Long dance recital,? Grandma has a car. Etc. Etc. Do it right and they'll sell the home and move to Florida within the year.

This happens with daycare arrangements all the time.  Grandparents are over the moon when the infant is born, showers, the bragging t-shirts, non-stop baby pics, etc.  They promise the exhausted new parents to be that extra set of hands, and it will be so wonderful.  The parents look into day care, discover how expensive a quality rated place is, and decide to take Gran and Gramps up on the offer.  Within about 6 weeks, the reality sets in, and private schools and day care facilities are creating wait lists.

I've worked with an accredited private school that offers infant and preschool daycare for siblings, and it happens every fall.  By Christmas break, all the accounts that had one kid enrolled are now showing at least one more, sometimes two or three stair-step siblings being enrolled.  The payments are now split with parents paying and grandparents as well.  It's cheaper than convincing a jury that Gran and Gramps didn't mean to homicide all those little hellions.


We see something similar at work during long vacations. The older sibling is home with the grandparents over break but the younger ones are at daycare. The harder situation is when all the kids are in daycare but only the older one is picked up at the early course. Younger kids stay until the latest course. "Teacher, where'd bubba go?" Uhh... "I wanna go home too...?" oof.

My sister was put in a shiatty situation when her grandma lost her home and moved in with with my sister in low income housing. With grandma's social security income factored in my sister lost the low income credit and had to pay much more rent. Of course, before the move it was all promises and rainbows that grandma can be full time everyday daycare for my toddler niece while my sister took on more hours or got a better job to pay the difference. Think they were going to get grandma paid by the state for child care as well.

Spoiler alert: Never happened.  Grandma moved in and reneged pretty much immediately.
 
2021-01-16 8:24:21 PM  
That depends. Is your mother in law hot?
 
2021-01-16 8:53:55 PM  

Omnis_evil_twin: cherryl taggart: willwall: Give them what they want, monkey's paw style. They want to see the kids? Perfect. Send them over all the time.  Don't feel like cooking tonight, send the kids to grandma. Want to take a weekend off and go to Vegas, pack up kids, you're going to grandma's. You need a place to practice your new drum set? Grandma's got plenty of space at her house. Need someone to take you to your 5 hour. Long dance recital,? Grandma has a car. Etc. Etc. Do it right and they'll sell the home and move to Florida within the year.

This happens with daycare arrangements all the time.  Grandparents are over the moon when the infant is born, showers, the bragging t-shirts, non-stop baby pics, etc.  They promise the exhausted new parents to be that extra set of hands, and it will be so wonderful.  The parents look into day care, discover how expensive a quality rated place is, and decide to take Gran and Gramps up on the offer.  Within about 6 weeks, the reality sets in, and private schools and day care facilities are creating wait lists.

I've worked with an accredited private school that offers infant and preschool daycare for siblings, and it happens every fall.  By Christmas break, all the accounts that had one kid enrolled are now showing at least one more, sometimes two or three stair-step siblings being enrolled.  The payments are now split with parents paying and grandparents as well.  It's cheaper than convincing a jury that Gran and Gramps didn't mean to homicide all those little hellions.

We see something similar at work during long vacations. The older sibling is home with the grandparents over break but the younger ones are at daycare. The harder situation is when all the kids are in daycare but only the older one is picked up at the early course. Younger kids stay until the latest course. "Teacher, where'd bubba go?" Uhh... "I wanna go home too...?" oof.

My sister was put in a shiatty situation when her grandma lost her home and moved in with with my sister in low income housing. With grandma's social security income factored in my sister lost the low income credit and had to pay much more rent. Of course, before the move it was all promises and rainbows that grandma can be full time everyday daycare for my toddler niece while my sister took on more hours or got a better job to pay the difference. Think they were going to get grandma paid by the state for child care as well.

Spoiler alert: Never happened.  Grandma moved in and reneged pretty much immediately.


Happened with my sister as well. Then grandma called the cops on her for flushing her meth down the toilet saying she assaulted her.

/sister was arrested and did "community service"
//grandma got kicked out
 
2021-01-17 12:27:38 AM  
My aunt and uncle lived next door to her mother for over 20 years and they got along just fine by giving each other there own space. Hell they even took her mother and father to Florida one winter for a couple of weeks.

My niece and her boyfriend live next door to my sister and sometimes don't see each other for weeks.
My sister will yell over the fence every once in a while to see if they want any BBQ or call and say I'm ordering pizza if you want some but they pretty much leave each other alone.
 
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