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(WLNS Lansing)   "The best life advice I can give you is this: If the authorities catch you with more than a pound of cocaine, flip on the other dealers. Oh, and vote Republican"   (wlns.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Tim Allen, graduate of Western Michigan University, Santa Clause trilogy, Toy Story series, starring roles, voice of Buzz Lightyear, ABC sitcom Home Improvement, commencement speaker  
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1816 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 15 Jan 2021 at 8:05 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



25 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-01-15 6:42:24 PM  
Who gives  a shiat what he has to say?
 
HFK [BareFark]
2021-01-15 8:13:26 PM  
Now that is a good headline. Well done, would read again.
 
2021-01-15 8:17:41 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

"Hey Mr. Candyman! My nose is empty!"
 
2021-01-15 8:25:13 PM  
They asked Gary Busey and Crispin Glover first, but those guys were busy that day.
 
2021-01-15 8:30:26 PM  
Speaking of this prick, just read they're doing Galaxy Quest 2, about 15 years too late and without Alan Rickman. Pass.
 
2021-01-15 8:36:41 PM  
If they're going to Hillsdale College, they're already voting Republican.
 
2021-01-15 8:45:45 PM  
Always rat on your friends and never keep your mouth shut appears to be the Republican mantra.
 
2021-01-15 8:53:48 PM  
I wonder who Hunter Biden buys his crack from.
 
2021-01-15 8:54:53 PM  
They only care that *they* are not going to serve time, everyone else can rot in jail as far as they are concerned.
 
2021-01-15 10:13:29 PM  
Tim Allen? Rtfa. Yep, Tim Allen.
 
2021-01-15 10:26:21 PM  
He is a Dick.
 
2021-01-15 10:47:55 PM  
Unless your dealers are the authorities.  Then you have to flip it for them.  No matter how you cut it, the authorities in charge of the War on Drugs support a policy that makes the pursuit of happiness (by using plants found in nature and used by people for hundreds of years) illegal.  The authorities earn a living by supporting policy that can make people slaves as punishment for the "crime" of being a pro-nature business.
So to sum up, people in authority are pro-war, pro-slavery, anti-nature, and lock up citizens that defy their unjust policies.  Who wants that as an authority figure?  That kind of authority is the minority group that needs to be locked in a cage.
Prohibition by legislation is always doomed to fail in America because those laws cost more to enforce a prohibition than to regulate commerce, and produces more crime than it prevents.
 
2021-01-15 11:08:43 PM  

Not_Todd: I wonder who Hunter Biden buys his crack from.


Xim Xarren.
 
2021-01-15 11:57:08 PM  

flynn80: Unless your dealers are the authorities.  Then you have to flip it for them.  No matter how you cut it, the authorities in charge of the War on Drugs support a policy that makes the pursuit of happiness (by using plants found in nature and used by people for hundreds of years) illegal.  The authorities earn a living by supporting policy that can make people slaves as punishment for the "crime" of being a pro-nature business.
So to sum up, people in authority are pro-war, pro-slavery, anti-nature, and lock up citizens that defy their unjust policies.  Who wants that as an authority figure?  That kind of authority is the minority group that needs to be locked in a cage.
Prohibition by legislation is always doomed to fail in America because those laws cost more to enforce a prohibition than to regulate commerce, and produces more crime than it prevents.


The Mexican cartels are a pro-nature business. Got it.
 
2021-01-16 12:03:19 AM  

Flappyhead: Always rat on your friends and never keep your mouth shut appears to be the Republican mantra.


It is always a good idea to know which way your 'friends' lean. Should you ever be involved in a Prisoners dilemma, you have to have a good understanding of which of your friends will stay quiet, and which ones will sell you out before the echo of the plea deal has faded.
 
2021-01-16 12:19:07 AM  
Man I remember hearing some of Tim Allen's early stand up back when I was in high school and thinking it was really funny. It is amazing how his work has gotten steadily crappier since then.

Also for some reason my kids love those dumb ass Santa Clause movies. They are stupid for sure, but the worst part is they will never be able to convince me that even with his Santa powers that Tim Allen would be anywhere close to being in the same league as Elizabeth Mitchell. And they expect me to believe that she would fall for him and marry him in like a week. They have a better chance of convincing me that elves are real.
 
2021-01-16 12:26:20 AM  
I always wondered if all those hits to the head he took on Home Improvement were actually enforced method acting.
 
2021-01-16 12:28:21 AM  
Hiisdale? That is where Erik Prince went after he dropped out of Annapolis because the liberal Navy professors were trying to brain wash him. Place is a Christian Malthusian cult.
 
2021-01-16 4:49:43 AM  

dsmith42: Hiisdale? That is where Erik Prince went after he dropped out of Annapolis because the liberal Navy professors were trying to brain wash him. Place is a Christian Malthusian cult.


They should rename it what it truly is - Trump University
 
2021-01-16 5:57:57 AM  
I wonder who Hunter Biden buys his crack from.

i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-16 9:25:52 AM  
I've never met a guy/girl with more than an ounce of coke that wasn't also packing a gun.

/Just sayin'.
 
2021-01-16 10:33:16 AM  

ModernLuddite: flynn80: Unless your dealers are the authorities.  Then you have to flip it for them.  No matter how you cut it, the authorities in charge of the War on Drugs support a policy that makes the pursuit of happiness (by using plants found in nature and used by people for hundreds of years) illegal.  The authorities earn a living by supporting policy that can make people slaves as punishment for the "crime" of being a pro-nature business.
So to sum up, people in authority are pro-war, pro-slavery, anti-nature, and lock up citizens that defy their unjust policies.  Who wants that as an authority figure?  That kind of authority is the minority group that needs to be locked in a cage.
Prohibition by legislation is always doomed to fail in America because those laws cost more to enforce a prohibition than to regulate commerce, and produces more crime than it prevents.

The Mexican cartels are a pro-nature business. Got it.


Don't engage, he's a 9/11 Truther. Cancer is too good.
 
2021-01-16 12:35:37 PM  

mechgreg: Man I remember hearing some of Tim Allen's early stand up back when I was in high school and thinking it was really funny. It is amazing how his work has gotten steadily crappier since then.

Also for some reason my kids love those dumb ass Santa Clause movies. They are stupid for sure, but the worst part is they will never be able to convince me that even with his Santa powers that Tim Allen would be anywhere close to being in the same league as Elizabeth Mitchell. And they expect me to believe that she would fall for him and marry him in like a week. They have a better chance of convincing me that elves are real.


Oh, his humor was good in the early days of his career (but of course, that might have been due to using the Peruvian marching powder?).  But I agree, he's become steadily less and less funny the older he's gotten.

And as far as his political leanings?  That might also be why he's not that funny anymore.  Much like many so-called 'conservative' comedians, they believe in punching down instead of punching up when telling their jokes.
 
2021-01-16 3:09:22 PM  

AurizenDarkstar: And as far as his political leanings? That might also be why he's not that funny anymore. Much like many so-called 'conservative' comedians


Dennis Miller.

When I first moved to CA, the second or third thing I did was go to see his TV show live. He had literate references (to the point of being pretentious) and actually funny. Now he's an un-funny right wing asshole with the vocabulary of a middle school student to appeal to his new audience.
 
2021-01-16 5:50:20 PM  

UberNeuman: He is a Dick.

Mister

Dick to you!
 
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