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(Fark)   Rant about something specific in your job field that only other people in your field will likely understand   (fark.com) divider line
106
    More: Silly, Cascading Style Sheets, support of data acquisition, Psychiatric drugs, established track record, similar verbage, real time, SQL query, Sports  
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119 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 15 Jan 2021 at 6:20 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



106 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

 
eurotrader [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 4:22:20 PM  
Psychiatric drugs are not the same as insulin for diabetics. Just stop and acknowledge most psych drugs do far more harm than good. Advertising drugs directly to consumers is unethical and causes deaths and misery, the US is the only country in the world that allows ads for drugs to ask your doctor about. Drug companies spend more on ads than R/D.
 
dv-ous [TotalFark]
2021-01-15 4:24:24 PM  
Stop trying to toss every goddamn new gadget or technology you want to learn about into production. We have existing pipelines and processes for a farking reason.
 
TexasPeace [TotalFark]
2021-01-15 4:29:45 PM  
"I already drew up all the paperwork.  I just need somebody to present it in court."
 
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 4:34:08 PM  
Just because we have money, doesn't mean we can allocate it however we wish.
 
Bajtaur [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 4:45:03 PM  
This or similar verbage has been in the last 3 faculty searches I've been asked to assist with:"Candidates must be able to establish and sustain an independent, extramurally-funded research
program and participate in the teaching and service missions of the Department and College. Preference will be given to candidates with an established track record of trans-disciplinary partnerships particularly in support of data acquisition and management, or in creating the infrastructure to access large volumes of data and support their analysis in near-real time-for example, development of software and acquisition of hardware to support research projects"AKA, we want a world class researcher with a proven track record of helping their colleagues with IT support.
 
threnodyj [TotalFark]
2021-01-15 4:52:08 PM  
Yes, we WILL suspend you as an evaluator if you submit 40+ one-on-one evaluations in a 24 hr period, until you can satisfactorily explain that number when each eval should take 45-60 minutes to complete.
 
zond [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 6:00:07 PM  
Just because that SQL query ran fast on your dev box with a few hundred records doesn't mean it will be equally fast (of even complete) on the production systems with millions of records.
 
sorceror [TotalFark]
2021-01-15 6:05:43 PM  
Those variable names will not be funny during a production outage.
 
PreMortem [TotalFark]
2021-01-15 6:09:33 PM  
Quality has gotten so bad, people are using Scotch locks on jumpers and running them straight up the horizontals.
 
elvisaintdead [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 6:13:57 PM  
fark the client. they wouldn't know a good idea if they had one.
 
King Something [TotalFark]
2021-01-15 6:19:11 PM  
You could probably beat someone to death with a 23&P, if you cared enough to try.
 
styckx [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 6:19:41 PM  
Stop going to the farking emergency room for dumb shiat. There are a brazillon Minute Clinic, Patient First, Urgent Cares that spring up faster than dollar stores yet you farking assholes still insist on showing up to the emergency room for dumb shiat like "My arm hurts from something I did 3 weeks ago"
 
naughtyrev [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 6:21:08 PM  

zond: Just because that SQL query ran fast on your dev box with a few hundred records doesn't mean it will be equally fast (of even complete) on the production systems with millions of records.


Gods yes.
 
Ambivalence [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 6:23:15 PM  
Stop being a user!
 
optikeye [TotalFark]
2021-01-15 6:25:03 PM  
Pull the beads out slowly, not like your trying to start a chainsaw and don't cheap out on the lube, geeze it's like 2 bucks more for the good stuff. But do NOT ...I repeat DO NOT mistake hand sanitizer for lube.
 
optikeye [TotalFark]
2021-01-15 6:26:31 PM  

Ambivalence: Stop being a user!


i1.wp.comView Full Size

ACCESS DENIED.
 
Pinner
2021-01-15 6:26:41 PM  
So what? Who cares if you lose a few bps on High Value and Signature, you'll make it up on Lg ticket and qualifying DR 1-4 cards with Level III. It's still way better than the pass through they're getting now even if it is only 7 clicks over cost.
 
syrynxx [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 6:27:42 PM  
The Base search DN should not be the root of the domain.
 
NateAsbestos [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 6:29:50 PM  
Just because it runs on a computer does not mean that A) I'm an expert in using it, or B) it's my job to teach you to use it.

You have the same YouTube I have. Learn to use Acrobat on your own.
 
naughtyrev [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 6:29:52 PM  

optikeye: Pull the beads out slowly, not like your trying to start a chainsaw and don't cheap out on the lube, geeze it's like 2 bucks more for the good stuff. But do NOT ...I repeat DO NOT mistake hand sanitizer for lube.


i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
Enigmamf [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 6:29:53 PM  

zond: Just because that SQL query ran fast on your dev box with a few hundred records doesn't mean it will be equally fast (of even complete) on the production systems with millions of records.


Just throw another dozen indexes at it, that should solve everything.
 
FrancoFile [TotalFark]
2021-01-15 6:31:32 PM  
Your IT security policy is stupid, and everyone obviously gets around it somehow, so please tell me how to apply for an exemption so you can use my product.  Lives are at stake here.
 
Galileo's Daughter
2021-01-15 6:38:24 PM  
Unless you want to pay this ER bill yourself, give me your healthcare information and/or auto insurance information (for PIP/MP).  If you were injured at work, give me your employer's name and phone number.
 
ReluctantLondon
2021-01-15 6:39:13 PM  
Not my current job, but amemorable one: "Please stop using the panic button as an intercom."
 
PluckYew [TotalFark]
2021-01-15 6:42:16 PM  
4:30pm on Friday  "Hi, I've been having this problem all week, it's really bothering me, can you take a look?"

Me: "Sure, oh this is going to take a while to fix, why didn't you contact me sooner?"
Them: "I was busy, I need this working by Monday"
Me: "FARRRRRK!!"
 
Gramma
2021-01-15 6:47:05 PM  
Mispronouncing FOC Date is not funny. It is juvenile and one day you'll do when you're talking to a customer and then there will be FOCing hell to pay.
 
AirForceVet [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 6:49:30 PM  
Requirements creep.
 
Gramma
2021-01-15 6:54:45 PM  

zond: Just because that SQL query ran fast on your dev box with a few hundred records doesn't mean it will be equally fast (of even complete) on the production systems with millions of records.


This. This is the bane of my existence.
 
Captain Scratch [TotalFark]
2021-01-15 6:55:48 PM  
Your algorithm is more accurate. But it will take two days to run the overnight hedges. Do you know WHY they're called overnight hedges?
 
ruudbob [TotalFark]
2021-01-15 7:15:41 PM  
GDITH Craigslist HVAC installers, at least put in a GD way to replace filters so the equipment lasts more then two years.
 
dwlah [TotalFark]
2021-01-15 7:20:56 PM  
Has this been cleared by the nurse manager, hospital planning,safety, infection control, facilities?
Ok I'll put the hand sanitizer up
 
ruudbob [TotalFark]
2021-01-15 7:21:09 PM  
Never ever hook the black wire into the bare copper or green wire in a supply wire. I have seen that twice.
 
InvisibleInsane [BareFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 7:25:27 PM  

styckx: Stop going to the farking emergency room for dumb shiat. There are a brazillon Minute Clinic, Patient First, Urgent Cares that spring up faster than dollar stores yet you farking assholes still insist on showing up to the emergency room for dumb shiat like "My arm hurts from something I did 3 weeks ago"


But those are only open until 8 pm. What if I stub my toe at 8:05? Tell me that!
 
ruudbob [TotalFark]
2021-01-15 7:25:31 PM  
Try not to put the bathroom power vent hose into the flue for the basement furnace next time, contractors.
 
eurotrader [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 7:25:59 PM  

ruudbob: Never ever hook the black wire into the bare copper or green wire in a supply wire. I have seen that twice.


That falls into the if you don't listen you have to feel category.  I have seen using the green wire as a common because it worked.
 
shopball [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 7:27:21 PM  

ruudbob: Never ever hook the black wire into the bare copper or green wire in a supply wire. I have seen that twice.


Now you know why people who are red / green colorblind make bad electricians.
 
ruudbob [TotalFark]
2021-01-15 7:30:21 PM  
If you hook up a sub panel in a garage build out please make sure to include a ground wire from the main panel. That 3 wire 240 volt BS is a killer. (I almost got killed on a grounded compressor)
 
Wool E Mammoth
2021-01-15 7:31:47 PM  

TexasPeace: "I already drew up all the paperwork.  I just need somebody to present it in court."


Even worse: "I only need you to sign it."
 
edmo [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 7:33:52 PM  
Why yes, I think a massive Strategic Transformation is just the thing to cure stale leadership. Let's do another one!
 
ruudbob [TotalFark]
2021-01-15 7:35:38 PM  
Flexible drier vent hookups do not make reliable flue connectors for furnaces DIY's.
 
hubiestubert [OhFark]
2021-01-15 7:37:19 PM  
Mise en place, motherf*cker? Do you speak it?

Every single day. Every single shift. Not randomized. Not done half-way, not stored in the walk-in one day on a baker, and then two hotels under the station the next. Same place, same prep, same motherf*cking product in sixers and nines. Same f*cking cuts every time. When it says chiffonade, that's what we mean. Deep bias on the scallion doesn't mean chopped.

Your pars are NOT suggestions. 12 boules. Not 10. Not 6. Not 16. Two dozen hoagies. Two naan. Not one. Not four. Unless we have a catering event, or a huge party, you stock normally. Because you don't have room for more, and nine times out of ten you bring too much bread on the line, it goes over before you use it. Too little, and your scrambling to get basics during a push.

Mise en place. Learn it. Love it. Live it. Make everyone's lives easier than the half assed vision you thought would be great, but the next guy on the station can't even reach half the sh*t you rearranged, because he's a foot shorter.
 
Streetwise Hercules
2021-01-15 7:37:39 PM  
These floors are dirty as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore.
 
ruudbob [TotalFark]
2021-01-15 7:41:02 PM  
If your going to silicon caulk around the the outside of a 30 story office building at the top make sure the the tube of black silicone is secure and does not fall next to some poor business guy going into the front door....me.
 
PainInTheASP [recently expired TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 7:41:51 PM  

zond: Just because that SQL query ran fast on your dev box with a few hundred records doesn't mean it will be equally fast (of even complete) on the production systems with millions of records.


"SELECT * FROM "

...followed by about fifty left (and right) outer joins....using the following:

*=

=*
 
Unobtanium [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 7:42:45 PM  
Who did the job hazard analysis on this?
 
ruudbob [TotalFark]
2021-01-15 7:44:54 PM  

ruudbob: If your going to silicon caulk around the the outside of a 30 story office building at the top make sure the the tube of black silicone is secure and does not fall next to some poor business guy going into the front door....me.


Also...boy was that guy pissed!
 
PainInTheASP [recently expired TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 7:44:58 PM  

PainInTheASP: zond: Just because that SQL query ran fast on your dev box with a few hundred records doesn't mean it will be equally fast (of even complete) on the production systems with millions of records.

"SELECT * FROM "

...followed by about fifty left (and right) outer joins....using the following:

*=

=*


Crap, should be += and =+.
 
Lord Head [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-01-15 7:45:00 PM  
Why did you think the tags would be read from the signal box when they're in your front pocket and you're INSIDE THE TRAIN?
 
thorpe [TotalFark]
2021-01-15 7:46:03 PM  
"Why isn't it built per plan?" (waving plan full of errors)
 
I should be in the kitchen
2021-01-15 7:47:15 PM  
How the f*ck did you prequalify this person without asking for any income docs?!
 
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