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(Some Guy)   Subby just bought a smart fridge. On a lark, I just did a search for smart toilets. Question: Is a toilet that automatically washes and blow dries your arse too much tech?   (androidguys.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Bathtub, Toilet, Plumbing, Essential oils, touchless bathroom faucet, new products, host of new smart products, full spectrum of lighting  
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122 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 13 Jan 2021 at 8:55 PM (7 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



51 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2021-01-13 5:18:28 PM  
Too much? It's not enough. Where is the toilet that analyses* your deposits and informs you of any changes to your diet that may be necessary?

*no pun intended
 
2021-01-13 5:19:19 PM  
Nah, had one when I lived in Yokosuka, they kick ass and I want another.
 
2021-01-13 5:19:25 PM  
no. bidets and dyers are worthy technologies in the home.
 
2021-01-13 5:20:18 PM  
I don't like to have smoke blown up my ass.
 
2021-01-13 5:21:24 PM  
I don't want Siri and Alexa talking behind my back about my hairy ass.
 
2021-01-13 5:26:03 PM  
Worth every penny.
CSB: One time when I was having a little sexy time with the GF, I wanted to make sure I was as clean as I could be for the occasion.  Unfortunately for me, it was a little humid that day, and the stupid 'ultra soft' TP kept falling apart during use.   I thought I had gotten all the little ripped pieces out, and came back out to continue happyfuntime.   As I was sauntering back to the bed, a leftover pocket of air slipped out, and *poof* - confetti!
 
2021-01-13 5:27:04 PM  
Bidets are incredibly underrated.  That being said, I have never seen a toilet/bidet combo or attachment that didn't look like an absolute horror show to clean.
 
2021-01-13 5:27:47 PM  
not if it has a built in jukebox
 
2021-01-13 5:29:16 PM  
Did stubby put the small fridge in the bathroom and is now looking for a way to wash up to eat without getting up?
 
2021-01-13 5:30:08 PM  

I Ate Shergar: Too much? It's not enough. Where is the toilet that analyses* your deposits and informs you of any changes to your diet that may be necessary?

*no pun intended


Toto debuted one at CES today that does just that. Should be out in about 3 years.
 
2021-01-13 5:30:43 PM  
"There were 16 kernels of corn in your latest deposit."
TMI, smart terlet, TMI!!
 
2021-01-13 5:31:05 PM  
Peasant. I employ a groom of the stool to maintain those delicate areas.
 
2021-01-13 5:31:50 PM  

Wanebo: I Ate Shergar: Too much? It's not enough. Where is the toilet that analyses* your deposits and informs you of any changes to your diet that may be necessary?

*no pun intended

Toto debuted one at CES today that does just that. Should be out in about 3 years.


So they bless the rains in your lap area?
 
2021-01-13 5:38:49 PM  
Those are a gift from the gods..

My hotel room in Taipei had one, and the remote control had at least a dozen preprogrammed wash and dry cycles, including a massaging thingie.

Four hours later, I felt like I needed go go out for a cigarette, even though I don't smoke.
 
2021-01-13 5:39:06 PM  
So long as I can modify it to play canned applause after I flush, it's never too much.
 
2021-01-13 5:41:13 PM  
I've had a bidet for a year now.   I love it...
 
2021-01-13 5:42:59 PM  

PainInTheASP: Bidets are incredibly underrated.  That being said, I have never seen a toilet/bidet combo or attachment that didn't look like an absolute horror show to clean.


Wait? You're supposed to clean toilets?  I just try to pee as hard as I can at whatever stain is most apparent.
 
2021-01-13 5:50:53 PM  
''Is a toilet that automatically washes and blow dries your arse too much tech?''

Only if it doesn't work at all when the power is out...
 
2021-01-13 5:57:32 PM  
Also, it's bound to be an upgrade from this:

images-na.ssl-images-amazon.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-13 5:57:43 PM  
I spend months in Korea each year.  I always have an apartment or hotel room that has a full digital bidet toilet seat.  If I wiped poop on your arm, you wouldn't just wipe it with some paper, would you?  Nope, spray nozzle of warm, warm water.  Coming back to America is like living in a zoo with their toilet paper.

They are stupid pricy here in the U.S. but I'm close to buying one
 
2021-01-13 6:03:11 PM  
i.gifer.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-13 6:05:14 PM  

eurotrader: Did stubby put the small fridge in the bathroom and is now looking for a way to wash up to eat without getting up?


And a built in microwave.?
 
2021-01-13 6:13:37 PM  

netizencain: They are stupid pricy here in the U.S. but I'm close to buying one


Costco usually has the Brondell brand ones with a separate remote, activated charcoal filter, water heating, seat heating, and a couple wash/dry options for around $350..  Much better than the $1200 Toto that doesn't do a whole lot more.
 
2021-01-13 6:49:51 PM  
My 8-year-old had the idea to install a camera in a bidet and use it to aim the water jet.  And naturally, you can control it with Alexa.
 
2021-01-13 7:11:14 PM  

netizencain: I spend months in Korea each year.  I always have an apartment or hotel room that has a full digital bidet toilet seat.  If I wiped poop on your arm, you wouldn't just wipe it with some paper, would you?  Nope, spray nozzle of warm, warm water.  Coming back to America is like living in a zoo with their toilet paper.

They are stupid pricy here in the U.S. but I'm close to buying one


Always wanted one. Put one in at the beginning of the TP shortage. When i eventually go back to work, the thing i will miss most is my toilet.

TP is barbarism.
 
2021-01-13 7:44:42 PM  
Then you got to get an electrician in... I have no power in my shiatter.
 
2021-01-13 8:39:49 PM  
Welcome to Japan
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-13 8:47:58 PM  
I've often wondered if the smart toilet and the smart fridge talk to each other. So you start to get something from the fridge, and it says, "No more cheese for you; eat the figs instead."
 
2021-01-13 9:05:04 PM  
I got a bidet seat when TP shortage hit here early last spring. I will never go back. Though mine has a blow dryer in it, most of the time it isn't really necessary. I recommend the Brondell brand, you can get an open box with warranty on eBay, or on their website.
 
2021-01-13 9:05:31 PM  
I've had a Toto washlet for a bit more than a year now. Absolutely worth the $400. Even just the heated seat in the winter is a blessing. If you've ever had any annoyance with your hemorrhoids or even just a case of summertime itchy ass, this thing will absolutely help with that.

There are not many things that I've purchased where every time I've used them I've been like "I'm really glad I bought that." This is one of them.
 
2021-01-13 9:06:02 PM  

ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha: Welcome to Japan
[Fark user image 850x1001]


Most of them won't turn on unless you are sitting on the seat.
 
2021-01-13 9:07:30 PM  
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-13 9:08:16 PM  
Drew sold me a funny toilet. I want my ten bucks back.
/Honestly, I'll end up giving him another $20.
 
2021-01-13 9:41:56 PM  

ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha: Welcome to Japan
[Fark user image image 850x1001]


Still way better than
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-13 10:34:27 PM  
Only if it sends you emails saying that yours is "remarkable".
 
2021-01-13 10:58:16 PM  
Getting ready to do a major remodel. You're damn right there are going to be electrical outlets behind the toilets.
 
2021-01-13 11:27:03 PM  
Smart fridge, stupid consumer.
 
2021-01-13 11:35:50 PM  

wax_on: Getting ready to do a major remodel. You're damn right there are going to be electrical outlets behind the toilets.


Water-proof GFCI at minimum.
 
2021-01-13 11:40:14 PM  
Why would I want a toilet that other people use to spray water on my bumhole? Of all the ways to catch a nasty disease that has to be one of the least appealing.

/pass the corn cobs, ma
 
2021-01-13 11:46:22 PM  

I am Tom Joad's Complete Lack of Surprise: wax_on: Getting ready to do a major remodel. You're damn right there are going to be electrical outlets behind the toilets.

Water-proof GFCI at minimum.


I don't know if urine proof outlets are a thing but if they are I'm getting them.
 
2021-01-14 12:53:47 AM  
"Blow dries your ass" is that what they're calling it now?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-14 1:10:06 AM  

Clarence Brown: I've often wondered if the smart toilet and the smart fridge talk to each other. So you start to get something from the fridge, and it says, "No more cheese for you; eat the figs instead."


Or the fridge locks itself and tells you 'Sorry, the toilet says you're a fatass.'
 
433 [TotalFark]
2021-01-14 1:13:08 AM  
They never get 100%.  Basically they just make your booty muddy and you take care of that.
 
2021-01-14 3:53:07 AM  
we have a mechanical cold-water one in the guest bath, and a fancy-heated-everything in the master bath.

surprisingly, the inexpensive cold-water one gets the most use.

but man, on a winter day it sure is nice to sit on a heated seat, get cleaned by warm water, and have hot air blow-dryed at your butt. sometimes I take my tablet in there simply to luxuriate for a while on the warm seat.

/hmm, I may have to go in there now just for that
 
2021-01-14 5:16:15 AM  
You bought a smart fridge?


Gilfoyle Hacks Jian Yang's Smart Fridge 🤓 Silicon Valley
Youtube HcXu4_K1tMQ

// Some NSFW language
 
2021-01-14 8:49:59 AM  
Anyone that wants a smart fridge needs a smart toilet.

I personally think a smart fridge is a ridiculous idea and see no benefit at all to it.  Everything it does can be done by your phone.  Literally.    What, you need another screen, message board, etc. that is not portable?

Smart toilets however at least has the advantage of opening and closing the toilet lid and allowing your phone to control the toilet rather than having to touch the toilet.
 
2021-01-14 8:53:35 AM  

wax_on: Getting ready to do a major remodel. You're damn right there are going to be electrical outlets behind the toilets.


If you have little boys in the house, those outlets will need to be strategically placed, or simplex.
 
2021-01-14 9:59:36 AM  
Currently house hunting. Plan to remodel master bathroom to include a Toto, walk-in shower with multiple heads as well as a kick ass bath tub....then redo the kitchen and add-on a greenhouse w/hot tub similar to:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-14 10:17:24 AM  

BeotchPudding: Currently house hunting. Plan to remodel master bathroom to include a Toto, walk-in shower with multiple heads as well as a kick ass bath tub....then redo the kitchen and add-on a greenhouse w/hot tub similar to:
[Fark user image image 476x316]


I don't know your climate situation, but if you are going to go all out on the greenhouse, maybe one wall bricked with built in grill?

Our 3 season room has the indoor grill. It is so nice to grill at night in the middle of winter. Difficulty: 3 season room has no heat. It doesn't get down to freezing temps; stays at about 35-45 degrees.
 
2021-01-14 10:20:19 AM  

Petey4335: BeotchPudding: Currently house hunting. Plan to remodel master bathroom to include a Toto, walk-in shower with multiple heads as well as a kick ass bath tub....then redo the kitchen and add-on a greenhouse w/hot tub similar to:
[Fark user image image 476x316]

I don't know your climate situation, but if you are going to go all out on the greenhouse, maybe one wall bricked with built in grill?

Our 3 season room has the indoor grill. It is so nice to grill at night in the middle of winter. Difficulty: 3 season room has no heat. It doesn't get down to freezing temps; stays at about 35-45 degrees.


Indoor grill sounds like a great idea, never knew something like that existed. Now I have to just find the appropriate house...
 
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