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(Fark)   He can expertly parallel park an adverb. He improved a one-word sentence by removing it. He once wrote down the true name of God and was sued for copyright infringement. He is the most interesting writer on Fark, and this is your Fark Writer's Thread   (fark.com) divider line
    More: CSB, Copyright infringement, Writing, Do You, Comment, Because of You, T-Shirt, LGT Subby's pick, headline joke  
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68 clicks; posted to Discussion » and Main » on 13 Jan 2021 at 5:00 PM (8 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-01-13 4:15:33 PM  
So the headline joke is an old one, but Impeachment #2 is dominating the air waves today so everything old is new again.  Although, if that headline inspires someone to storm a building and steal a lectern from somewhere, I take full credit for it.

This came in the mail this morning:

Fark user imageView Full Size


Yes, that's a T-Shirt from St. Jude Children's Research Hospital thanking us for our contributions over the years from the anthologies!  Also, I need to lose some weight and work out or something.  I'm hoping that at some point we'll cross a threshold and be awarded a celebratory plaque or trophy, and since all donations go in in honor of 'The Community at Fark.Com' then hopefully it'll say that and I can send it to Drew or something.  I'm guessing he has a trophy case full of all sorts of awards from the internet.  For now, however, I'm claiming the shirt since it saves me the effort of buying at least one new t-shirt off of Amazon.

Updates: sadly, I'm in a bit of crunch mode at work, so I have not had time to be productive on the writing side.

Question of the week: What honors or accolades has your writing brought you?

Also, how do you parallel park an adverb?
 
2021-01-13 5:25:17 PM  
Parallel parking an adverb:

He works after lunch.

He works best after lunch.
 
2021-01-13 5:29:50 PM  
How to parallel park an adverb:

1) Diagram the sentence. Always stay between the lines of your diagram.

2) Align the right front stanchion of your adverb with the left rear corner of the verb.

3) Slowly back into the space, turning the wheel to the left--no, the right! Look what you've done!

4) Now turn the wheel to the left. Politely crumple the fender of the subject.

5) Straighten the wheel and slowly advance until you can't move any further. Push the verb forward if you can.

6) Get out your insurance card.

7) Drive away as quickly as possible. Ditch your adverb in a swamp.

Adverbs are awful. Don't use them.

By dint of furious drinking, I've made it to the final scene of Deflection Point part 25. Everybody dies, the city burns down, and the world is saved from deep-dish pizza.

Accolades? Funny story, I did technical writing for a while. I wrote a humorous intro to a manual, expecting to come back later and tone it down. Of course, the client wanted a proof copy right away, so we had to send them what we had. They were amused. Then they were not amused.
 
2021-01-13 5:42:36 PM  
I can barely parallel park my car let alone an adverb. :)  I'd end up crashing the words together, like cardbordeaux. Wine in a box. LOL

Accolades - My story "Infection" won a mention for best short story in The Solstice List 2017 Best Of Horror.I also have had the honor of interviewing Ramsey Campbell, Joe Lansdale, Josh Malerman, Billie Sue Mosiman, Jack Ketchum, Paul Tremblay and other horror writers for podcasts and written interviews. It was a blast talking to some of my favorite writers.

I just started a new writing gig for a game company. Can't go into detail, but I will say I'm having a blast. It's a new experience for me, and I'm welcoming it with open arms.
 
2021-01-13 5:52:49 PM  
I wrote a semi-humorous "lessons learned" article about how I managed to get permanently disabled while on active duty. The article was published by the US Navy Safety Center in one of their safety magazines, and I won an award for it.

Thrilling, I know.
 
2021-01-13 6:17:12 PM  

ms_lara_croft: I can barely parallel park my car let alone an adverb. :)  I'd end up crashing the words together, like cardbordeaux. Wine in a box. LOL

Accolades - My story "Infection" won a mention for best short story in The Solstice List 2017 Best Of Horror.I also have had the honor of interviewing Ramsey Campbell, Joe Lansdale, Josh Malerman, Billie Sue Mosiman, Jack Ketchum, Paul Tremblay and other horror writers for podcasts and written interviews. It was a blast talking to some of my favorite writers.

I just started a new writing gig for a game company. Can't go into detail, but I will say I'm having a blast. It's a new experience for me, and I'm welcoming it with open arms.


I used to drive a portmanteau, but it got carjacked.
 
2021-01-13 6:25:43 PM  
Your headline reminded me of one of my all-time favorite short stories: The Nine Billion Names of God by Arthur C. Clarke.

Brief synopsis: In effort to "help" their cause, guy sells computer to obscure religious group whose goal is to determine the true name of God.

I re-read this story at least once a year, and it always gives me chills.
 
2021-01-13 9:00:56 PM  
Huh, my post didn't.  Post, I mean.

I was pointing out my accolade of having been voted onto Best of Craigslist for an angry rant about a tax demand letter.

Then I got distracted by reading the others on that list.   Dare you to read this one without getting a lump in your throat:
best of craigslist: I met you in the rain on the last day of 1972 - m4w
 
2021-01-13 9:16:17 PM  
My writing accolades:
A couple ribbons in grade school;
In high school my short story got published in the school literary magazine.
In college the next year a rewrite of that story, plus a weird "flash fiction" gangster story, got published in the USU Honors Society's literary magazine.
Twenty years later I went back to college for a screenwriting class and accidentally took some Journalism classes and got three news writing awards over three semesters of trial coverage of a campus cop caught pilfering $250K/year for the last 7 years.

Also, the Campus Chief of Police wrote me a letter of commendation for my "fair, balanced, and objective" trial coverage of his disgraced officer.

My first paid published article was about Frank Herbert's pre-sci-fi photojournalism career, which I gleaned from four years of microfilm. No accolades yet as it is unpublished... but I was the first person in 60 years to think of compiling them, and EVERYBODY at the paper knew FH had written there. But that article is one of my proudest accomplishments... so far.

Last year my one greenlit Fark submission was a HOTY nominee, and nearly made it into the second round of voting!

A year ago my friend's bar closed down, landlord jerking him around for years over selling the place and he shut it down and made it super hard for the next person to start it up again. My article got reprinted by Associated Press in dozens of papers and in US News & World Report, which I grew up reading. That inspired my to finish my 4-year Journalism degree, and I moved right before Shutdown to a much better place to be.

And yesterday my buddy posted on Facebook that his bar is reopening! I guess the landlord had a tough time getting somebody else in during the Shutdown. I talked to him about doing my multimedia show there, perhaps over 4-20 weekend, which is where I planned on doing that in the first place. I already had my "stand up" debut on that stage, which allowed me to write myself into that article, so it's only fitting to have my musical debut there as well. He really lucked out missing the Shutdown and I bet the owners wish now that they had sold it to him.

And best accolade of all, I got my first fiction published in this year's Fark Anthology!
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-13 11:06:49 PM  

Spice Must Flow: doing my multimedia show there, perhaps over 4-20 weekend,


You know who else celebrates 4-20?
 
2021-01-13 11:31:09 PM  

Creepy Lurker Guy: Spice Must Flow: doing my multimedia show there, perhaps over 4-20 weekend,

You know who else celebrates 4-20?


I forget.
Willie Nelson? Yeah, that's it.
 
2021-01-14 3:50:15 PM  
Oh good I forgot when the Writer's thread was since I haven't seen it on the Main page in a long time. But I started writing... Yeah it's fan-fiction but I am planning on 300 pages. I'm 13 pages in and over 8K words.

I am using the Save the Cat! Writes a Novel worksheet to map my way through the book. I was able to complete that last night and it REALLY helps you work out how to get from A-Z without a super detailed outline (I'm what Stephen King calls a gardener rather than an architect).

This year is going to be great because I'm going to MAKE it great.
 
6 days ago  

nartreb: Dare you to read this one without getting a lump in your throat:
best of craigslist: I met you in the rain on the last day of 1972 - m4w


Wow, that's an excellent read!  Not sure if it's true or just a gifted writer's imagination, but it's a powerful piece.  Thanks for the link.
 
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