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(Daily Star)   Armed man holds up a dog shelter, demands to see where all the cats are. Difficulty: Not Florida, Britain somehow (possible nsfw content on page)   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line
    More: Strange, Police, Criminal Investigation Department, Sergeant, Detective Senior Sergeant Glen Cruse, motive of an armed man, Casey Crime Investigation Unit, ABC News, terrified 23-year-old woman hostage  
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2081 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Jan 2021 at 6:20 PM (9 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



43 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-01-12 6:24:35 PM  
Cat burglar?
 
2021-01-12 6:24:59 PM  
Yeah! If there were a bunch of cats in there, where are they? There appear to be no cats in the lobby or milling around outside! Why aren't all the cat's cars in the parking lot? IT'S A FALSE FLAG!
 
2021-01-12 6:25:39 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-12 6:25:44 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-12 6:26:04 PM  
They keep them in the secret pizza basement for kitty porn.
 
2021-01-12 6:26:38 PM  
Cats are just female dogs, aren't they?
 
2021-01-12 6:27:39 PM  
They're in the basement underneath the pizza parlour.  You must rescue them
 
2021-01-12 6:27:40 PM  
Bubbles?
 
2021-01-12 6:29:22 PM  
Of course he's armed... How else is he going to pet the pussies?
 
2021-01-12 6:29:49 PM  
Clerk: You don't need a licence for your cat.

Man: I bleedin' well do and I've got one! Can't be caught out there!

Clerk: There is no such thing as a bloody Cat Licence.

Man: Yes there is.

Clerk: No there isn't.

Man: Is!

Clerk: Isn't!

Man: I've bleedin' got one, look! What's that then?

Clerk: This is a dog licence with the word 'dog' crossed out and 'cat' written in in crayon.

Man: Man didn't have the right form.

Clerk: What man?

Man: The man from the cat detector van.

Clerk: The loony detector van, you mean.

Man: Look, it's people like you what cause unrest.

Clerk: What cat detector van?

Man: The cat detector van from the Ministry of Housinge.

Clerk: Housinge?

Man: It was spelt like that on the van. I'm very observant. I never seen so many bleedin' aerials. The man said their equipment could pinpoint a purr at four hundred yards, and Eric being such a happy cat was a piece of cake.
 
2021-01-12 6:29:55 PM  
Dennis Moore is distributing cats now?
 
2021-01-12 6:32:20 PM  
Although a British paper. Melbourne is actually in Australia.
 
2021-01-12 6:35:57 PM  
images.baklol.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-12 6:37:16 PM  
The cats are in the basement of a pizza restaurant near Buckingham Palace.
 
2021-01-12 6:37:57 PM  

gizmo62: Although a British paper. Melbourne is actually in Australia.


Wish you told me that before my post.
 
2021-01-12 6:38:44 PM  
Thank dog it's Australia. I thought we had a monopoly on crazies for awhile.
 
2021-01-12 6:39:24 PM  
Melbourne, subby. You poor fool.
 
2021-01-12 6:40:22 PM  
He was looking for this:
Fark user imageView Full Size


The Galaxy is on Orion's Belt.
 
2021-01-12 6:42:55 PM  
Why didn't he just do what my mom and aunt did when they were drunk, just break into the animal shelter and pet the animals and then leave after getting bored? (They were in their 40s when they did this.) No need for guns, guy.
 
2021-01-12 6:43:28 PM  
Armed man holds up a dog shelter, demands to see where all the cats are.


Sir, this is an Arfy's.
 
2021-01-12 6:45:06 PM  

Englebert Slaptyback: Armed man holds up a dog shelter, demands to see where all the cats are.


Sir, this is an Arfy's.


I snortled, good show.
 
2021-01-12 6:46:11 PM  
I didn't realize Monty Python was getting the band back together again!
 
2021-01-12 6:46:28 PM  
memesmonkey.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-12 6:51:49 PM  
British paper, but Australian story - Melbourne.  I demand full credit for my glorious nation.

AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!!!
OI OI OI!!!
 
2021-01-12 6:55:07 PM  
Are any of them named Eric?
 
2021-01-12 6:56:23 PM  
I have a feeling the poor young woman is leaving a part out of her story because she may be too traumatized to talk about it.
 
2021-01-12 6:56:32 PM  

gizmo62: Although a British paper. Melbourne is actually in Australia.


One of them, anyway.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-12 6:57:36 PM  
Chris Rock "...I understand..."
 
2021-01-12 7:13:51 PM  
Ah, life imitates sketch comedy.
 
2021-01-12 7:38:45 PM  
It's pronounced "Milbn" in Australia, and it's full of snobs, yobs, wankers and trams.
 
2021-01-12 7:49:26 PM  
The cats are a lie.
 
2021-01-12 7:59:21 PM  

englaja: It's pronounced "Milbn" in Australia, and it's full of snobs, yobs, wankers and trams.


We have no tolerance for the tramsphobic on fark.
 
2021-01-12 8:13:28 PM  

big pig peaches: gizmo62: Although a British paper. Melbourne is actually in Australia.

Wish you told me that before my post.


Melbourne is also in Florida.
 
2021-01-12 8:21:08 PM  

bigdog1960: big pig peaches: gizmo62: Although a British paper. Melbourne is actually in Australia.

Wish you told me that before my post.

Melbourne is also in Florida.


Is the Melbourne in Florida the same city as the Melbourne in Australia?
 
2021-01-12 9:27:31 PM  

Dave2042: bigdog1960: big pig peaches: gizmo62: Although a British paper. Melbourne is actually in Australia.

Wish you told me that before my post.

Melbourne is also in Florida.

Is the Melbourne in Florida the same city as the Melbourne in Australia?


It's like Dalaran, it phases depending on which expansion you're playing.
 
2021-01-12 9:35:51 PM  

Dave2042: bigdog1960: big pig peaches: gizmo62: Although a British paper. Melbourne is actually in Australia.

Wish you told me that before my post.

Melbourne is also in Florida.

Is the Melbourne in Florida the same city as the Melbourne in Australia?


i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-12 9:59:56 PM  

big pig peaches: gizmo62: Although a British paper. Melbourne is actually in Australia.

Wish you told me that before my post.


Also, even if it *had* been in England, do you have any idea how few people own guns there, let alone crazy cat enthusiasts?
 
2021-01-12 10:57:45 PM  
Found a photo of the crime in progress:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-12 11:14:38 PM  
Give the man some farking cats
 
2021-01-13 2:06:43 AM  
Be careful in there.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-13 6:41:43 AM  

fark account name: englaja: It's pronounced "Milbn" in Australia, and it's full of snobs, yobs, wankers and trams.

We have no tolerance for the tramsphobic on fark.


Call me tramsphobic, but I just don't know how something thinks it is a bus when it has the equipment to only go on rails! Make up your mind! You're set up to go on rails. You're a train. You can't naturally do the things cars can do! So don't go into private, intimate streets designated for cars. You'll just make the real genuine cars shy and embarrassed!

I might not be tramsphobic but I am racist against Melbournians, as they are insufferable.

/Give back the land you nicked from South Australia, you convict colonial thieves!
 
2021-01-13 7:08:29 AM  

Doctor Poop: I have a feeling the poor young woman is leaving a part out of her story because she may be too traumatized to talk about it.


Username checks out?

Thanks Doc.
 
2021-01-13 11:38:10 AM  
Look at the sign--it shows both a dog and a cat.  Rather stupid for a place that just does dogs.
 
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