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(Mental Floss)   Because Monopoly wasn't an excruciating exercise in gameplay already, Hasbro has doubled down on that fact by introducing The Longest Game Ever edition   (mentalfloss.com) divider line
    More: Stupid  
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5581 clicks; posted to Main » and Entertainment » on 25 Dec 2020 at 8:30 PM (20 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-12-25 6:06:32 PM  
Monopoly is not a game for the weak-willed, weak-willed submitter.
 
2020-12-25 6:36:00 PM  
Subby sounds like someone who can't focus for more than 7 seconds.
 
2020-12-25 6:40:10 PM  
To be fair, if you play it 100% by the book, it's a quick game with only 2-3 fistfights...

//..mom doesn't play nice.
 
2020-12-25 6:42:30 PM  

Mikey1969: Subby sounds like someone who can't focus for more than 7 seconds.


That would depend on what I'm focused on, IYKWIMAITYD
 
2020-12-25 6:43:30 PM  
It's not exactly Ikusa, is it?

For those that don't know, Ikusa is the current-ish iteration of the Shogun board game. Think conquest of feudal Japan. Games can last however long you can survive.
 
2020-12-25 6:45:12 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-12-25 7:16:10 PM  

Mikey1969: Subby sounds like someone who can't focus for more than 7 seconds.


I think you are confusing "focus" with "has not suffered enough brain injuries to derive enjoyment from Monopoly".
 
2020-12-25 7:33:27 PM  
I've started a lot of monopoly games, but have never once finished a game. The fun part was over once most of the properties were owned and hotels were starting to appear.  I'd get bored with it, and fortunately for me, the people I was playing with also got bored and we'd find something else to do.
 
2020-12-25 7:45:47 PM  
My sisters still accuse me of cheating when we used to play back in the '80s.

Whatever. They call it cheating ... I call taking money from the bank and hiding it under the board both resourceful and good preparation for a  white collar crime career
 
2020-12-25 8:14:07 PM  

iheartscotch: It's not exactly Ikusa, is it?

For those that don't know, Ikusa is the current-ish iteration of the Shogun board game. Think conquest of feudal Japan. Games can last however long you can survive.


Amateur.   Try the great old school Campaign for North Africa.  Assuming you can get a full ten-person team to play the game (5 on each side) it's an estimated 1500 hours to complete.  You need at least one person on each side handling logistics- Italian troops require more water for their pasta...
 
2020-12-25 8:26:47 PM  
I despise Monopoly, it is the single most boring game ever. It's playing Real Estate ffs, and someone is always cheating and I've never seen a game that someone didn't get mad at someone else. Give me Battleship, or Chinese Checkers, or Chess, or Poker! You know, a FUN game. Everybody thinks I suck at it but I purposely played badly so I go bankrupt and then I'm free of it.  I guess it's been twenty years since I stopped saying, "Okay I'll play.". I refuse to play a game I don't like.
 
2020-12-25 8:34:12 PM  
"You can also tear each bill along the perforated line to split them into smaller sums, which could increase your purchasing options."

You can rip the money up? Really? What happened to making change from the bank? Rip the money up instead?
 
2020-12-25 8:34:13 PM  
Monopoly shouldn't take long, if you play by the rules. The whole point is that one player will very quickly, often by luck, emerge as the dominant market force and will fairly promptly bleed everyone else dry.

But a lot of folks don't read/play the rules so do a bunch of shiat that prolongs the initial property grab and then drags the game out for ages.
 
2020-12-25 8:35:44 PM  

powhound: My sisters still accuse me of cheating when we used to play back in the '80s.

Whatever. They call it cheating ... I call taking money from the bank and hiding it under the board both resourceful and good preparation for a  white collar crime career


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-12-25 8:35:50 PM  
Pro tip: If you nail the board down, forcing people to rage flip over the whole table to end the game, you can buy some time. It's harder to commit to a table flip than just doing the board.
 
2020-12-25 8:36:32 PM  

Glockenspiel Hero: iheartscotch: It's not exactly Ikusa, is it?

For those that don't know, Ikusa is the current-ish iteration of the Shogun board game. Think conquest of feudal Japan. Games can last however long you can survive.

Amateur.   Try the great old school Campaign for North Africa.  Assuming you can get a full ten-person team to play the game (5 on each side) it's an estimated 1500 hours to complete.  You need at least one person on each side handling logistics- Italian troops require more water for their pasta...


GO
 
2020-12-25 8:38:17 PM  
'Normally, nothing happens when you land on the "Free Parking" space; in this version of the game, you get paid.'
This guy has never played Monopoly.  Cash from all fines and taxes go to free parking.  That's been a common 'rule' since forever.
 
2020-12-25 8:38:22 PM  
I was going to say that sounds like they're intentionally making the game as unpleasant, grinding, and shiatty as possible... but that's quite literally how the original game was designed so I guess that's not really a complaint that applies?
 
2020-12-25 8:38:25 PM  
New cards are:

You caught covid, go directly to quarantine

Real estate mogul becomes president, everybody pays 20% of their assets to the richest player

File loss in bad loans, recieve 10 millions in tax rebates.
 
2020-12-25 8:38:37 PM  

Target Builder: Monopoly shouldn't take long, if you play by the rules. The whole point is that one player will very quickly, often by luck, emerge as the dominant market force and will fairly promptly bleed everyone else dry.

But a lot of folks don't read/play the rules so do a bunch of shiat that prolongs the initial property grab and then drags the game out for ages.


Dropping Free Parking payouts help move things along.
 
2020-12-25 8:38:54 PM  

KarmicDisaster: "You can also tear each bill along the perforated line to split them into smaller sums, which could increase your purchasing options."

You can rip the money up? Really? What happened to making change from the bank? Rip the money up instead?


Yeah, that gave ME pause, too.
 
2020-12-25 8:39:28 PM  
Just... Why would you DO that?
 
2020-12-25 8:41:39 PM  

Target Builder: Monopoly shouldn't take long, if you play by the rules. The whole point is that one player will very quickly, often by luck, emerge as the dominant market force and will fairly promptly bleed everyone else dry.

But a lot of folks don't read/play the rules so do a bunch of shiat that prolongs the initial property grab and then drags the game out for ages.


The things that make the game interminable are:

1.  Failing to play by the official rules.  Land on a property and don't buy it?  (What are you, stupid?)   It has to be auctioned off immediately.  Get money for landing on Free Parking?  Fark all the way off!

2.  Players who don't understand/don't want to trade properties.  The game only works if players get monopolies and start building -- enough money doesn't come out of the game on basic rents alone.  Unless you get very lucky, most players won't develop a monopoly naturally, so players will have to trade.  And players who don't understand the relative value of properties (Oranges, Reds, and Violets are worth a lot.  Greens are shiat.  Purples are fun only if you're going to waste housing stock on them.)  tend to propose unreasonable trades and reject reasonable ones.  No trading/bad trading is a great way to ruin the game.
 
2020-12-25 8:43:06 PM  

Screaming Candle: Just... Why would you DO that?


Monopoly has always been a crappy game and has long-since been eclipsed by far superior board games. Monopoly only hangs around because they keep cranking out novelty/licensed versions to get new people to buy a copy.
 
2020-12-25 8:43:09 PM  

MIRV888: 'Normally, nothing happens when you land on the "Free Parking" space; in this version of the game, you get paid.'
This guy has never played Monopoly.  Cash from all fines and taxes go to free parking.  That's been a common 'rule' since forever.


Its a common house rule, the official rules have free parking as a safe place on the board.  Nothing happens.

It tends to draw the game out far longer with that house rule.

Honestly, play the game however you and your opponents wish to play as long as the rules are decided and agreed upon before you start who cares?
 
2020-12-25 8:43:11 PM  
My little car ran over your doggy.  Sorry but you're out of the game.  Hey Thimble, stay out of the road if you want to stay old.
 
2020-12-25 8:44:09 PM  
I've always liked Monopoly. Where else can a thimble become a slum lord?
 
2020-12-25 8:44:29 PM  
Rather than Monopoly, get Lords of Vegas.

You can thank me later
 
2020-12-25 8:44:51 PM  

WhippingBoi: I've always liked Monopoly. Where else can a thimble become a slum lord?


Have you met Kush Kush
 
2020-12-25 8:46:47 PM  

Uzzah: Target Builder: Monopoly shouldn't take long, if you play by the rules. The whole point is that one player will very quickly, often by luck, emerge as the dominant market force and will fairly promptly bleed everyone else dry.

But a lot of folks don't read/play the rules so do a bunch of shiat that prolongs the initial property grab and then drags the game out for ages.

The things that make the game interminable are:

1.  Failing to play by the official rules.  Land on a property and don't buy it?  (What are you, stupid?)   It has to be auctioned off immediately.  Get money for landing on Free Parking?  Fark all the way off!

2.  Players who don't understand/don't want to trade properties.  The game only works if players get monopolies and start building -- enough money doesn't come out of the game on basic rents alone.  Unless you get very lucky, most players won't develop a monopoly naturally, so players will have to trade.  And players who don't understand the relative value of properties (Oranges, Reds, and Violets are worth a lot.  Greens are shiat.  Purples are fun only if you're going to waste housing stock on them.)  tend to propose unreasonable trades and reject reasonable ones.  No trading/bad trading is a great way to ruin the game.


The blues are good to have late in the game, if you've been making money from other properties in the game.  They're a good way to deliver the coup de grace on a player teetering on the edge.

That orange/red corner is key to the game.  Gain control of that, and you will, in all likelihood, win the game.
 
2020-12-25 8:47:53 PM  

ScrimBoy: Target Builder: Monopoly shouldn't take long, if you play by the rules. The whole point is that one player will very quickly, often by luck, emerge as the dominant market force and will fairly promptly bleed everyone else dry.

But a lot of folks don't read/play the rules so do a bunch of shiat that prolongs the initial property grab and then drags the game out for ages.

Dropping Not adding Free Parking payouts help move things along.


FTFY.
 
2020-12-25 8:48:40 PM  
If you read the f**kin' rules, there's a short version that goes a lot faster than the standard game.

And you don't have to keep going until there's only one player left. When two people go bankrupt, the game is over. You then count up your cash and assets to determine the winner.
 
2020-12-25 8:49:50 PM  
Monopoly isn't a game, it's a farking economics lesson(The Landlords' Game) that was stolen by that Darrow guy and marketed by Parker Brothers as a game.
 
2020-12-25 8:50:24 PM  
Is this like where you go bankrupt but it doesn't matter, you just keep playing until even you get tired of winning? Because that would be copyright infringement on my longstanding idea for a new Monopoly variant I am calling 'Trumpopoly' These people can expect a letter from my lawyers.
 
2020-12-25 8:50:40 PM  

common sense is an oxymoron: ScrimBoy: Target Builder: Monopoly shouldn't take long, if you play by the rules. The whole point is that one player will very quickly, often by luck, emerge as the dominant market force and will fairly promptly bleed everyone else dry.

But a lot of folks don't read/play the rules so do a bunch of shiat that prolongs the initial property grab and then drags the game out for ages.

Dropping Not adding Free Parking payouts help move things along.

FTFY.


Right.  Poorly phrased on my part as it's not part of the rules.  Correct?
 
2020-12-25 8:52:07 PM  
My partner and I made a version based on Denver. We cut out a board from a big piece of corrugated cardboard from the box our washer came in and then drew on the spaces. We also cut up some pieces of card stock for the deeds and chance/community chest cards, as well as the houses/hotels. We named all the properties after street names here, and added a few 'attractions' (the theme park, water park, and Red Rocks [music venue]). We also added a dispensary, and upped the salary for passing GO to $250 (while also placing any taxes or fines into free parking). We also made up new community chest and chance cards ('Sell some edibles at a show, collect $50!'). It's a lot of fun, but then, we both enjoy Monopoly and rarely get genuinely angry about it.
 
2020-12-25 8:52:34 PM  
I actually just saw a 10 minute version of the game at the store today.
 
2020-12-25 8:52:36 PM  
Solarquest probably still runs longer.
 
2020-12-25 8:53:58 PM  

Somaticasual: To be fair, if you play it 100% by the book, it's a quick game with only 2-3 fistfights...

//..mom doesn't play nice.


100% by the rules means that if someone doesn't buy a property it goes to auction for the other players. Once one player gets in the lead, all of the other players fall in quick succession. The game was designed as a parable of the evils of a monopoly.
 
2020-12-25 8:55:02 PM  
Monopoly is a good board game to people who have never actually been exposed to good board games.
 
2020-12-25 8:55:23 PM  

MIRV888: 'Normally, nothing happens when you land on the "Free Parking" space; in this version of the game, you get paid.'
This guy has never played Monopoly.  Cash from all fines and taxes go to free parking.  That's been a common 'rule' since forever.


Not in the rule book it isn't.
 
2020-12-25 8:56:20 PM  
Play a game of Risk for $200 every time someone passes go.
 
2020-12-25 8:56:54 PM  

Screaming Candle: Just... Why would you DO that?


I see you are unfamiliar with 2020...
 
2020-12-25 8:57:23 PM  
I had a friend get poleconomy for christmas when we were around 10 years old. We were about 5 minutes into the game before we realized we had been tricked into learning nerd shiat.
 
2020-12-25 8:57:57 PM  

Uzzah: Target Builder: Monopoly shouldn't take long, if you play by the rules. The whole point is that one player will very quickly, often by luck, emerge as the dominant market force and will fairly promptly bleed everyone else dry.

But a lot of folks don't read/play the rules so do a bunch of shiat that prolongs the initial property grab and then drags the game out for ages.

The things that make the game interminable are:

1.  Failing to play by the official rules.  Land on a property and don't buy it?  (What are you, stupid?)   It has to be auctioned off immediately.  Get money for landing on Free Parking?  Fark all the way off!

2.  Players who don't understand/don't want to trade properties.  The game only works if players get monopolies and start building -- enough money doesn't come out of the game on basic rents alone.  Unless you get very lucky, most players won't develop a monopoly naturally, so players will have to trade.  And players who don't understand the relative value of properties (Oranges, Reds, and Violets are worth a lot.  Greens are shiat.  Purples are fun only if you're going to waste housing stock on them.)  tend to propose unreasonable trades and reject reasonable ones.  No trading/bad trading is a great way to ruin the game.


Forking thank you. By the rules, it takes about 2-3 hours.
 
2020-12-25 8:59:26 PM  

KarmicDisaster: "You can also tear each bill along the perforated line to split them into smaller sums, which could increase your purchasing options."

You can rip the money up? Really? What happened to making change from the bank? Rip the money up instead?


That's where I caught on that it's a joke. If it's not I am thinking ripping up the money wouldn't matter. Nobody is ever playing that twice
 
2020-12-25 8:59:29 PM  

ScrimBoy: common sense is an oxymoron: ScrimBoy: Target Builder: Monopoly shouldn't take long, if you play by the rules. The whole point is that one player will very quickly, often by luck, emerge as the dominant market force and will fairly promptly bleed everyone else dry.

But a lot of folks don't read/play the rules so do a bunch of shiat that prolongs the initial property grab and then drags the game out for ages.

Dropping Not adding Free Parking payouts help move things along.

FTFY.

Right.  Poorly phrased on my part as it's not part of the rules.  Correct?


I could never understand adding a rule that makes a game even more tedious.
 
2020-12-25 9:00:42 PM  

ScrimBoy: common sense is an oxymoron: ScrimBoy: Target Builder: Monopoly shouldn't take long, if you play by the rules. The whole point is that one player will very quickly, often by luck, emerge as the dominant market force and will fairly promptly bleed everyone else dry.

But a lot of folks don't read/play the rules so do a bunch of shiat that prolongs the initial property grab and then drags the game out for ages.

Dropping Not adding Free Parking payouts help move things along.

FTFY.

Right.  Poorly phrased on my part as it's not part of the rules.  Correct?


Nope.  Just a house rule.  We always used it.  Orange is the key.  Everyone leaving jail has great odds to hit it.
 
2020-12-25 9:05:08 PM  
i.redd.itView Full Size
 
2020-12-25 9:06:07 PM  

Smackledorfer: Solarquest probably still runs longer.


I've had weekend-long games of both Axis and Allies and Twilight Imperium.

The difference is that everyone had a great time playing those games over a weekend.
 
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