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(The Sun)   It's possible to make a lot of money talking dirty to men in an English accent. Looks like it's time for Dick Van Dyke to come out of retirement (possible nsfw content on page)   (thesun.co.uk) divider line
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2186 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Dec 2020 at 10:17 AM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



41 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-12-21 9:06:18 AM  
Chim chiminey govnah
 
2020-12-21 9:37:42 AM  
I wonder if anyone needed a translation...

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2020-12-21 9:54:30 AM  
Not with Brexit you can't.
 
2020-12-21 10:20:46 AM  
clicks link, looks at photos

Yeah, that's what they're interested in -- your accent.
 
2020-12-21 10:21:48 AM  
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Yeah. It's totally the English accent that's doing it.
 
2020-12-21 10:21:55 AM  
The lesbian strap on domme Dyke Van Dick is raking it in
 
2020-12-21 10:23:26 AM  
Me bloke ain't woke ... yet
 
2020-12-21 10:23:51 AM  
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"Er, did you want to come back, to my place?"
"Sure, why not?
 
2020-12-21 10:23:52 AM  
But the "downside of being a hot girl", she said, is that blokes "just want to have sex right away".

Don't kid yourself sweetie. Us blokes want to have sex right away with just about any girl.
 
2020-12-21 10:24:06 AM  
She's thicc-hot too, and "exotic", so she's kind of a triple threat there with the accent and all.  But I doubt she'd be as popular as she is without a livechat so that folks can see they aren't getting catfished by a lisping dude or a granny hausfrau.  I mean, if you like Kardashian, this girls got that in spades, and we can all see how much Kim has made on her comeback tour.
 
2020-12-21 10:24:37 AM  
"Yank perverts"??

Well, I mean who does she think sh*.... OK yeah, she pretty much nailed it.
 
2020-12-21 10:26:35 AM  
media1.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-12-21 10:26:41 AM  
I was very disappointed to discover the British English Text-to-speech option for Google Mapsnow  truncates all directions. I want my soulless-yet-saucy AI voice giving me driving directions dammit
 
2020-12-21 10:27:26 AM  
Back in the 50's, a man walked into a Hollywood agent's office. He told the agent that he wanted to be a big star and that he wanted the agent to represent him. The agent asked the man's name, to which he proudly replied, "Penis Van Lesbian." Taken aback, the agent said, "If you want to be a big star, you will have to change your name." The man, somewhat offended, told the agent, "The Van Lesbian name goes back centuries and I am very proud of my name! I will never change my name! Ever!" "Then I won't be able to represent you." Said the agent. "Then good day to you, sir!" The man yelled as he stormed out of the office.
Five years later, the agent received a letter along with a check for $50,000, written out to him. He wondered if it was sent to him by mistake until he read the letter.
The letter said,
Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood and you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis Van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation. Thank you for your advice..
Sincerely,
Dick Van Dyke
 
2020-12-21 10:28:28 AM  
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Yikes. Just saw her IG. That's a lot of plastic going on there.

The ridiculous camel toe had to be blurred.
 
2020-12-21 10:29:39 AM  

Nurglitch: [media1.tenor.com image 244x150] [View Full Size image _x_]


Right? I mean I don't know what go thrown in that melting pot, but I hope they wrote the recipe down somewhere... African, Indian, maybe some SE Asian? Not sure but got-tam nature, you scary-good!
 
2020-12-21 10:30:11 AM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [Fark user image 400x503]

Yikes. Just saw her IG. That's a lot of plastic going on there.

The ridiculous camel toe had to be blurred.


"Oh, Pikachu. Look at what they did to my boy. Look at how they massacred him. His head's all swelled up and misshapen."
 
2020-12-21 10:30:15 AM  
"Oy, jam yer banger bollocks-deep in me sopping minge mash!"
 
2020-12-21 10:32:44 AM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: The ridiculous camel toe


No such thing. Camel toe is never ridiculous.
 
2020-12-21 10:37:48 AM  

steklo: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: The ridiculous camel toe

No such thing. Camel toe is never ridiculous.


The toe knows
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2020-12-21 10:37:48 AM  

steklo: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: The ridiculous camel toe

No such thing. Camel toe is never ridiculous.


You wouldn't think. She had to have spent a few minutes with some sort of tool to insert her outfit that far into her vulva.
 
2020-12-21 10:40:50 AM  

guestguy: "Oy, jam yer banger bollocks-deep in me sopping minge mash!"


Aand there goes my coffee.
 
2020-12-21 10:42:56 AM  

maumau the flakcatcher: guestguy: "Oy, jam yer banger bollocks-deep in me sopping minge mash!"

Aand there goes my coffee.


i.gifer.comView Full Size
 
2020-12-21 10:52:48 AM  
When bad accents are dragged up for yocks, Dick Van Dyke's cockney is always at the head of the list. Never Laurence Olivier's bad Southern accent as Big Daddy. Olivier's was worse. Far worse. I guess it's due to the size of the audience. A TV version of Cat on the Hot Tin Roof is never going to compete with Mary Poppins.
 
2020-12-21 10:55:32 AM  
Nigella Talks Dirty
Youtube RtS2Ikk7A9I
 
2020-12-21 10:55:37 AM  
Blimey, she has huge tracts of land.  If you know what I mean.  Eh, eh?
 
2020-12-21 11:00:57 AM  
Like the popular phone line in "The Wild Child"?
I hope this isn't too vulgar for Fark, the film was rated PG-13.

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2020-12-21 11:06:08 AM  
Which English accent? There about 157 (seriously I gave a presentation in London once to a rooom of 50 people, 5 guys from France - who you could identify immediately because they all looked like they'd just smelled a fart - and 45 people from all over the Uk.  There were 44 different accents in the room - not including my own).

A thick Newcastle accent (which I can only understand because of Jimmy Nail and Spender) is indistiguishable from a foreign language and would only work on a phone sex line in Newcastle.


/English accent? No.
//Scottish accent, I'll be in my bunk
///Irish accent - didn't make it to the bunk
 
2020-12-21 11:08:16 AM  
Subby: British accents are a plus.    I mean, we know that no one would make any money with , say , an Australian accent.
 
2020-12-21 11:17:33 AM  

ObscureNameHere: Subby: British accents are a plus.    I mean, we know that no one would make any money with , say , an Australian accent.


Or worse, a Kiwi accent
 
2020-12-21 11:19:06 AM  

Mollari: ///Irish accent - didn't make it to the bunk


What sort of Irish accent? Dublin, Craggy Island, Belfast, Limerick? 

How they get so many accents on a wee island with fewer people than L.A. County is beyond me.
 
2020-12-21 11:26:28 AM  

Rereading TekWar: Mollari: ///Irish accent - didn't make it to the bunk

What sort of Irish accent? Dublin, Craggy Island, Belfast, Limerick? 

How they get so many accents on a wee island with fewer people than L.A. County is beyond me.


Yes
 
2020-12-21 11:42:57 AM  

steklo: [Fark user image 456x263]

"Er, did you want to come back, to my place?"
"Sure, why not?


I am no longer infected.
 
2020-12-21 12:00:00 PM  

Rereading TekWar: Like the popular phone line in "The Wild Child"?
I hope this isn't too vulgar for Fark, the film was rated PG-13.

[Fark user image 720x480]


It took me longer than it should have to realize it wasn't Gwendolyn Christie's face on the cover.
 
2020-12-21 12:28:53 PM  

Mollari: Rereading TekWar: Mollari: ///Irish accent - didn't make it to the bunk

What sort of Irish accent? Dublin, Craggy Island, Belfast, Limerick? 

How they get so many accents on a wee island with fewer people than L.A. County is beyond me.

Yes


While I think this YouTuber is a bit of an annoying tit, I nearly died watching the following video regarding Irish accents.

Bad IRISH ACCENTS That Even I Can't Understand
Youtube Hzfw-EX2XvQ
 
2020-12-21 12:41:00 PM  

guestguy: "Oy, jam yer banger bollocks-deep in me sopping minge mash!"


Fark user imageView Full Size


I can see this coming from her
 
2020-12-21 12:42:44 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [Fark user image image 400x503]

Yikes. Just saw her IG. That's a lot of plastic going on there.

The ridiculous camel toe had to be blurred.


Yeesh.  Starting from the bottom up its like a wide load, a milk truck and the short bus all got into a terrible accident.
 
2020-12-21 12:56:43 PM  

unchellmatt: "Yank perverts"??

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2020-12-21 1:00:50 PM  

unchellmatt: While I think this YouTuber is a bit of an annoying tit, I nearly died watching the following video regarding Irish accents.


He is an annoying tit, though that's typical of YouTubers.  He not nearly as irksome as the glitter bomb engineer.

His poor mic technique, and resulting plosives annoy me more than his personality.
 
2020-12-21 2:29:55 PM  
Of course, it doesn't say video call, so it's the accent.

On the other hand, I've bad news for some farkers: the non-video phone numbers? A lot of them look like your mom (and yes, a good friend of mind told me she used to work for one, long time ago).
 
2020-12-21 3:06:22 PM  
You can ridicule me later, but ...
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I'll tick the box for Lancashire.
 
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