Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(KOIN Portland)   First thing they should have stolen was a new car battery   (koin.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Identity theft, Theft, Identity document, Credit card fraud, Raymond Allen Stavig, Sheriff, Constable, getaway car  
•       •       •

2255 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Dec 2020 at 6:20 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



13 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-12-05 6:23:35 AM  
That eye is super lazy.
 
2020-12-05 6:28:58 AM  
Benjamin Sharts?
 
2020-12-05 6:56:49 AM  
I've never been a "getaway driver" before, and I'm pretty sure I'll never be one, but... I would think that "have the engine running" would be the first thing I'd make sure is complete before the heist begins.
 
2020-12-05 7:28:14 AM  
Reminds me of the old, VERY VERY NSFW Eddie Murphy "Lights Are On" bit:

*Ding* Somebody stole your battery. I say we go get the motherf****r.

/If you look for it, did I mention that it is not even remotely safe for work?
 
2020-12-05 7:45:32 AM  
getaway car batteries.... "if you didn't getaway you should have bought a getaway"
 
2020-12-05 7:52:35 AM  
Bet that was a shocking jolt to their egos.
 
2020-12-05 7:54:45 AM  

Tom-Servo: I've never been a "getaway driver" before, and I'm pretty sure I'll never be one, but... I would think that "have the engine running" would be the first thing I'd make sure is complete before the heist begins.


It is rule #1.

Use an anonymous car like a beige Toyota Camry, and make sure you steal some easy-to-remember custom license plates if you can so the police are checking on the owner of the plates that say "MEGAN22" or "BIGMIKE" or something similar that bystanders might remember.

But yeah, you have the engine running for the odd chance the battery or starter takes a dump right there.
 
2020-12-05 9:08:13 AM  
Merry Clackamas!
 
2020-12-05 9:35:50 AM  

Tom-Servo: I've never been a "getaway driver" before, and I'm pretty sure I'll never be one, but... I would think that "have the engine running" would be the first thing I'd make sure is complete before the heist begins.


Maybe create a YouTube video explaining the concept. Make sure it is at least 20 minutes long.

//afraid to check and see if there is one already
 
2020-12-05 10:08:16 AM  
Unlike the battery, the perps are being charged.
 
2020-12-05 10:29:48 AM  
They thought the merchandise was going to be free of charge, but the battery was instead.

/okay, I'll stop
 
2020-12-05 11:21:11 AM  
I had a 66 Plymouth Valiant that would only start if you gave it exactly 6 pumps on the gas pedal, and then there was just enough battery power for one attempt.  I went out one morning and it had been hotwired, but the battery was dead.
 
2020-12-05 11:33:44 AM  
I remember this add. Guys come running out of a bank, hop in getaway car and it wont start.
Don't get caught with a dead battery.
 
Displayed 13 of 13 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.