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(Merriam-Webster)   The Merriam-Webster word of the day for December 4 is "Distend" as in: "The length of a piece of wood is the distance between distend and dat end"   (merriam-webster.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, English language, Word, Vowel, simplest example, Stomach bloating, San Francisco Chronicle, evidence of this expansion, history of the word  
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712 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Dec 2020 at 2:29 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



26 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-12-04 11:40:16 AM  
Snert
 
2020-12-04 2:31:42 PM  
This headline is part of an ongoing series of dad jokes.
 
2020-12-04 2:32:27 PM  
I'd like to distend Deez Nutz
 
2020-12-04 2:33:39 PM  
I'm a distender, not a shower.
 
2020-12-04 2:43:00 PM  
Go ahead, search this in Bing with safe-search off, I dare you.
 
2020-12-04 2:43:51 PM  
I cut dis board three times and it's still too short.
 
2020-12-04 2:44:30 PM  
Sphaggetification is coming soon I can feel it. Like when matter gets torn apart atom by atom in a distended line as it approaches a black hole.
 
2020-12-04 2:47:16 PM  

Atomic Jonb: Go ahead, search this in Bing with safe-search off, I dare you.


Not gonna do it. Wouldn't be prudent. GHWB
Lemme guess, it's probably that Indian guy whose been dangling weights from his schlong for decades.
 
2020-12-04 2:48:50 PM  
"Distend" as in: "The length of a piece of wood is the distance between distend and dat end

Now I know demeaning of distend. Tanks a lot!
 
2020-12-04 2:49:32 PM  
Inaccurate definition by subby is inaccurate.

Distends to be common in fark headlines.
 
2020-12-04 2:50:28 PM  

Atomic Jonb: Go ahead, search this in Bing with safe-search off, I dare you.


I'll take "How to find porn without using sexy keywords" for 200, Alex.

Also works with turgid, ample and pendulous.
 
2020-12-04 2:50:49 PM  

Atomic Jonb: Go ahead, search this in Bing with safe-search off, I dare you.


It's a bunch of frog images, a SFW fat guy cartoon, and some people blowing bubbles with bubble gum and such.  Shockingly it's 100% tame as far as I cared to scroll down which was a few screens.  Worst that's on it is a few images from a mask company that has shiat like "scary distended eyeball mask."

/you're welcome
 
2020-12-04 2:51:03 PM  

Atomic Jonb: Go ahead, search this in Bing with safe-search off, I dare you.


Bing is still around? Good for them.
 
2020-12-04 3:03:33 PM  

Kalyco Jack: Atomic Jonb: Go ahead, search this in Bing with safe-search off, I dare you.

Bing is still around? Good for them.


Bing, like the internet in general, is for porn.
 
2020-12-04 3:06:08 PM  

ChubbyTiger: Kalyco Jack: Atomic Jonb: Go ahead, search this in Bing with safe-search off, I dare you.

Bing is still around? Good for them.

Bing, like the internet in general, is for porn.


Bing also lets you hotlink images instead of obfuscating the url. BIS beats GIS, even if it sometimes takes a little more to find the image you want.
 
2020-12-04 4:08:20 PM  

Atomic Jonb: Go ahead, search this in Bing with safe-search off, I dare you.


I did, saw nothing but a frog and a cartoon of a fat guy.
 
2020-12-04 4:16:37 PM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Atomic Jonb: Go ahead, search this in Bing with safe-search off, I dare you.

It's a bunch of frog images, a SFW fat guy cartoon, and some people blowing bubbles with bubble gum and such.  Shockingly it's 100% tame as far as I cared to scroll down which was a few screens.  Worst that's on it is a few images from a mask company that has shiat like "scary distended eyeball mask."

/you're welcome


JeffMD: Atomic Jonb: Go ahead, search this in Bing with safe-search off, I dare you.

I did, saw nothing but a frog and a cartoon of a fat guy.


I didn't think anyone would do it, so, uh, you win the dare?

Dammit, rule 34 is a lie.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-12-04 4:38:52 PM  

berylman: Atomic Jonb: Go ahead, search this in Bing with safe-search off, I dare you.

Not gonna do it. Wouldn't be prudent. GHWB
Lemme guess, it's probably that Indian guy whose been dangling weights from his schlong for decades.


You wish.

It's much better than that!
 
2020-12-04 4:40:15 PM  
Thanks, subby. That's just swell.
 
2020-12-04 4:46:33 PM  
I feel bloated
 
2020-12-04 4:50:03 PM  
Remember, measure once and cut twice.
 
2020-12-04 4:53:28 PM  

Atomic Jonb: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Atomic Jonb: Go ahead, search this in Bing with safe-search off, I dare you.

It's a bunch of frog images, a SFW fat guy cartoon, and some people blowing bubbles with bubble gum and such.  Shockingly it's 100% tame as far as I cared to scroll down which was a few screens.  Worst that's on it is a few images from a mask company that has shiat like "scary distended eyeball mask."

/you're welcome

JeffMD: Atomic Jonb: Go ahead, search this in Bing with safe-search off, I dare you.

I did, saw nothing but a frog and a cartoon of a fat guy.

I didn't think anyone would do it, so, uh, you win the dare?

Dammit, rule 34 is a lie.

[Fark user image 600x449] [View Full Size image _x_]


I was pretty prepared for Gorgorosity, frankly - I was a bit surprised myself
 
2020-12-04 5:46:14 PM  
How fitting.  My nickname for Donald Trump for months as been Distended Rectum.  (When I don't use Anal Prolapse, of course.)
 
2020-12-04 6:13:22 PM  
Was this headline written by a Cajun?

/Smells like boudin in here
 
2020-12-04 7:11:15 PM  
If we want distend we all need to wear our masks.
 
2020-12-04 9:54:47 PM  

NicoFinn: Was this headline written by a Cajun?

/Smells like boudin in here


My friend Boudreaux is highly offended by people who tell him that he talks funny. Thibodaux told him that, but Boudreaux got his revenge. Thibodaux told Boudreaux to come around and paint Thibodaux's porch out back. Thibodaux supplied the paint cans and a good big brush. Boudreaux disappeared behind Thibodaux's house but came back front after less than a half hour.

"All finished" Boudreaux told Thibodaux.

"You couldn't have painted that whole porch in a half hour," replied Thibodaux.

"Nothing to it," said Boudreaux. "And anyways it's a Mercedes, not a Porch."
 
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