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(Onion AV Club)   A quarantine exercise in alternate history: What if Rush and The Police sucked?   (news.avclub.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Magic, Tom Sawyer, Rush, particular new project, The Police, 2006 singles, director David Wain, age of constant uncertainty  
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1052 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Dec 2020 at 11:27 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



64 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-12-03 6:25:28 PM  
I'd be more depressed than I already am.
 
2020-12-03 6:32:47 PM  
As opposed to the real world, in which of those two, only Rush sucked?
 
2020-12-03 6:41:26 PM  
They'd be other bands?
 
2020-12-03 6:43:24 PM  
They do suck
Fark user imageView Full Size
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-12-03 6:44:38 PM  
what if they had swapped drummers?
 
2020-12-03 6:44:39 PM  
Then nothing she does is magic.
 
2020-12-03 7:00:44 PM  

thermo: what if they had swapped drummers?


Peart would have quit after maybe 3 shows with Sting.
 
2020-12-03 7:02:57 PM  
Well we'd be spared solo Sting. I know a lot of people like him, but after the Police--who were just so damn cool, I just didn't think he had any unnnf at all. It was like going from a sports car to a mini-van. I guess he got old or something. Too bad.
 
2020-12-03 7:10:42 PM  
It's a trick question
 
2020-12-03 8:43:40 PM  
A guy did something similar with Metallica tracks years ago and the repeated bullshiat copyright takedowns were swift and merciless.
 
2020-12-03 8:54:16 PM  
Deeply questioning "Amusing" tag.

/meh
 
2020-12-03 9:09:04 PM  
They'd still be better than subbys mom.
 
2020-12-03 9:36:56 PM  
This is the "Please please tell me" ball.  Formed by Marc Bolan, inflated by Roxy Music, its power passed down to every new romantic band ever since.

Without this ball, the New Romantics could never have happened.  Duran Duran would be a jock-rock band.

Imagine ... no Spandau Ballet to write "If You Leave."  John Hughes is without inspiration, forcing Molly Ringwald to remain on "The Facts of Life."  Her plucky charm propels the show into legend, allowing Kim Fields to successfully run for public office.

So tell me, Quizboy, are you prepared for a world of jocks led by President Tootie?
 
2020-12-03 9:55:42 PM  
Politics tab is that way ---->
 
2020-12-03 9:56:21 PM  
The Police are a band I legitimately cannot stand. Something shrill and grating about their style. I thought you should know.

Rush I can take or leave. Actually I don't like them either.
 
2020-12-03 11:30:14 PM  
Then the teacher would reference the boy in the book by Twain instead of the girl in that book by Nabokov
 
2020-12-03 11:35:59 PM  

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: The Police are a band I legitimately cannot stand. Something shrill and grating about their style. I thought you should know.

Rush I can take or leave. Actually I don't like them either.


I like "The Police", but they are one of those bands that you really only need to hear their "greatest hits".

"Rush"...ugh. I've tried. No thanks.
 
2020-12-03 11:36:30 PM  
In both that world and the real world, John Bonham is still the better drummer.
 
2020-12-03 11:40:31 PM  
Socially inept chuds would have to find another band to worship during their Libertarian phase?
 
2020-12-03 11:44:41 PM  
Who and The Police sucked?
No, the Who was great

/what?
 
2020-12-03 11:51:56 PM  
So the AV Club just discovered the videos that people on YouTube have been making for years?


Rush Shreds
Youtube RZrv9BQFvSA
 
2020-12-03 11:57:02 PM  
Of
 
2020-12-03 11:58:45 PM  
If?
 
2020-12-03 11:59:43 PM  

thermo: what if they had swapped drummers?


I still think that Geddy, Lifeson and Powell - GLP - is worth exploring.

Not to try and remake Rush, but take their skills in a different direction.

Having guest drummers give their own interpretations of Rush songs could be interesting. As some have noted with Keith Moon, a great drummer knows when NOT to play.
 
2020-12-03 11:59:52 PM  

csi_yellowknife: So the AV Club just discovered the videos that people on YouTube have been making for years?


[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/RZrv9BQF​vSA?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3​A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsap​i=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&​widgetid=1]


I love the "X shreds" videos.  This one is even funnier knowing just how tight the band was.
 
2020-12-04 12:01:33 AM  

thermo: what if they had swapped drummers?


One of the things that drove the Police was showing that you could be a really great trio of musicians without disappearing up your ass like Rush had a tendency to do.

/They actually tried to pick a fight with Rush in the press but being Canadian, Rush refused to respond.
 
2020-12-04 12:05:09 AM  

scottydoesntknow: Then nothing she does is magic.


Every little thing she does is tragic
 
2020-12-04 12:06:01 AM  
An?
 
2020-12-04 12:14:30 AM  
Holy shiat, I've seen both of those bands quite a few times. The sucky versions, not the good ones.
 
2020-12-04 12:16:58 AM  

Unscratchable_Itch: Holy shiat, I've seen both of those bands quite a few times. The sucky versions, not the good ones.


Why would you go multiple times then?
 
2020-12-04 12:17:32 AM  
I don't really care for either but they seem to make other people happy so I am glad they exist. it is like a food I dislike. I am not going to try to convince anyone not to eat it, I simply choose not to eat it myself.
 
2020-12-04 12:20:04 AM  

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: The Police are a band I legitimately cannot stand. Something shrill and grating about their style. I thought you should know.
Rush I can take or leave. Actually I don't like them either.


Oh we are done, done.

/I thought you should know.
//But it's cool about Rush
 
2020-12-04 12:31:30 AM  

skyotter: This is the "Please please tell me" ball.  Formed by Marc Bolan, inflated by Roxy Music, its power passed down to every new romantic band ever since.


I'd rather hear what Mack Bolan
has to say
 
2020-12-04 12:33:20 AM  

Cyberluddite: As opposed to the real world, in which of those two, only Rush sucked?


Your judgment is immediately suspect
 
2020-12-04 12:42:41 AM  
What if Rush played stoner doom?

Epicus Doomicus Rushicus - Working Man (live)
Youtube 5f27gOxGnf0
 
2020-12-04 12:45:54 AM  

maxwellton: Unscratchable_Itch: Holy shiat, I've seen both of those bands quite a few times. The sucky versions, not the good ones.

Why would you go multiple times then?


They were amateur bands I'd never seen before. Sometimes the suck is a surprise.
 
2020-12-04 12:57:14 AM  

Combustion: Well we'd be spared solo Sting. I know a lot of people like him, but after the Police--who were just so damn cool, I just didn't think he had any unnnf at all. It was like going from a sports car to a mini-van. I guess he got old or something. Too bad.


I agree with this comment.

I liked both bands earlier albums from the '70s and even early '80s, but after that they stopped appealing to me so much

This is my favorite performance "Mr. Sting" has done since the Police:

Zappa & Sting (Murder by Numbers)
Youtube ToReX88lzkk
 
2020-12-04 1:05:22 AM  
I enjoyed the album 2112, and Synchronicity has some good stuff. Sting solo is a miserable experience.
 
2020-12-04 1:07:04 AM  

Adebisi: What if Rush played stoner doom?

[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/5f27gOxG​nf0?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3​A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsap​i=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&​widgetid=1]


That sounds remarkably like The Sonics.

The Sonics - The Hustler
Youtube -yr6-oIWmfs
 
2020-12-04 1:12:47 AM  
Geddy Lee would've joined Supertramp? Also Sting would be called Boing. Reasons.

/ Breakfast in Canada number one album.
 
2020-12-04 1:35:21 AM  
 
2020-12-04 1:58:08 AM  

dr_iacovone: Candygram for Mongo: If?

What?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-12-04 2:39:00 AM  

chucknasty: I don't really care for either but they seem to make other people happy so I am glad they exist. it is like a food I dislike. I am not going to try to convince anyone not to eat it, I simply choose not to eat it myself.


wrong. green peppers are disgusting.
 
2020-12-04 2:41:06 AM  
Then Primus wouldn't suck?
 
2020-12-04 2:57:05 AM  
The Police would be defunded?
 
2020-12-04 2:58:43 AM  

Adebisi: What if Rush played stoner doom?

[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/5f27gOxG​nf0?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3​A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsap​i=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&​widgetid=1]


A Rush / Candlemass mashup? Let's just say I went into it with high hopes...

Solitude
Youtube UZjuzPU9UE4
 
2020-12-04 4:42:55 AM  
I think Family Guy already covered this
Family Guy - Beat him in 6/8 time!
Youtube IPT0wl0UuJ0
 
2020-12-04 4:43:23 AM  
Family Guy: Sting sings Brand New Day + Fields of Gold
Youtube CwAhuEVuM7c
 
2020-12-04 6:49:42 AM  

indy_kid: thermo: what if they had swapped drummers?

I still think that Geddy, Lifeson and Powell - GLP - is worth exploring.

Not to try and remake Rush, but take their skills in a different direction.

Having guest drummers give their own interpretations of Rush songs could be interesting. As some have noted with Keith Moon, a great drummer knows when NOT to play.


Cozy Powell? Guy hasn't picked up a drumstick in over 20 years.
Or is there another drummer named Powell?
 
2020-12-04 6:51:33 AM  

skyotter: This is the "Please please tell me" ball.  Formed by Marc Bolan, inflated by Roxy Music, its power passed down to every new romantic band ever since.

Without this ball, the New Romantics could never have happened.  Duran Duran would be a jock-rock band.

Imagine ... no Spandau Ballet to write "If You Leave."  John Hughes is without inspiration, forcing Molly Ringwald to remain on "The Facts of Life."  Her plucky charm propels the show into legend, allowing Kim Fields to successfully run for public office.

So tell me, Quizboy, are you prepared for a world of jocks led by President Tootie?


Have you heard the legend of The Funk?
The Mighty Boosh Story of Funk
Youtube 38IFCiqc6LQ
 
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