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(Slate)   "I confessed all my secret fantasies to my girlfriend and now she's horrified. What do?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Creepy, Sexual intercourse, Masturbation, Human sexuality, Marriage, Human sexual behavior, hours of work, current COVID times, Sexual arousal  
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776 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 03 Dec 2020 at 4:16 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



28 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-12-02 10:49:08 PM  
Don't tell your next girlfriend about your dreams of becoming a serial killer.
 
2020-12-02 10:52:17 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-12-02 10:53:25 PM  
You disgust me.
 
2020-12-02 10:57:24 PM  
Maybe telling her you want to be pegged while jerking off to old Captain Caveman cartoons was a bit too much.
 
2020-12-02 10:58:54 PM  
Shouldn'a lied about porn. Find a woman who's fine with it. You ain't fixin' this.
 
2020-12-02 10:59:19 PM  
Fantasies about your mom, subby?
 
2020-12-02 11:23:53 PM  
Her best friend and her sister, preferably at the same time, man.
 
2020-12-02 11:26:02 PM  
...and she has barely masturbated in her life...

You believed her?
 
2020-12-02 11:27:07 PM  
andyandnoreen.comView Full Size
 
2020-12-02 11:43:25 PM  
article: 'Early on when we started dating, she told me she was totally against dating men who watch porn. My response was to keep it hidden'

Now she's unhappy.
Gee, who would guess lying to your SO for years gets you in trouble?

/ Film at 11, etc etc.
 
2020-12-03 12:35:13 AM  

isamudyson: Maybe telling her you want to be pegged while jerking off to old Captain Caveman cartoons was a bit too much.


Or maybe not enough
 
2020-12-03 3:25:15 AM  
Call me.
 
2020-12-03 3:53:03 AM  
She's just upset at how wasteful and bad with money you are.

Not buying the Mule Tamer 5000 with a Diesel engine that pays for itself in the long run, buying lube by the quart instead of the drum, and paying per-hour rates instead of locking your shaved twinks into a contract means you can't budget long-term or recognize buying a quality product once is cheaper than replacing multiple inferior products.
 
2020-12-03 5:09:12 AM  
Pro tip: Never tell your darkest anything to anyone, ever.
 
2020-12-03 6:06:25 AM  

Jesus McSordid: You disgust me.


You discussed me.
 
2020-12-03 6:32:31 AM  
Was the headline really in the article?  I just saw a bunch of questions about 'batin to porn and an affair.
 
2020-12-03 7:31:45 AM  

PreMortem: Pro tip: Never tell your darkest anything to anyone, ever.


Look at what happened to that one account that professed to like Fark TV!

/pretty sure it involved Gorgor and Clockwork Orange style eyelid-propping restraints
 
2020-12-03 8:08:49 AM  
"Early on when we started dating, she told me she was totally turned off by and against dating men who watch porn"

So her preferred mate is a man who lies.

Two of the top ten most visited websites are porn.  You'd have an easier time winning a jackpot in Vegas than finding a guy in your dating range that doesn't watch porn.
 
2020-12-03 8:10:18 AM  
If you two are done, might as well go out with a bang

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2020-12-03 8:15:05 AM  
I mean, you got caught watching porn. Why give her a list of pornstars? Say you look at porn a few times a month and just browse.

Giving a list of names made it way more personal than it had to be.
 
2020-12-03 8:22:15 AM  

FuManchu7: Two of the top ten most visited websites are porn. You'd have an easier time winning a jackpot in Vegas than finding a guy in your dating range that doesn't watch porn.


I'm given to believe, from a source I consider reliable, that once upon a time, porn was the very first industry to turn a profit on the internet. (Other than actually being an ISP)

DerAppie: I mean, you got caught watching porn. Why give her a list of pornstars? Say you look at porn a few times a month and just browse.

Giving a list of names made it way more personal than it had to be.


Yup. The less said, the better. "Yeah, okay, I'll admit, I do this every once in a while." Give her sad puppy eyes implying you're ashamed and will try to do better in the future, and then shut the fark up.
 
2020-12-03 8:36:02 AM  
From the next "letter" (Yes, I know, no -one reads past the headliner...):

"penis-haver"?  That kind of relegates to "my partner bought a penis and I can't afford one...".  I honestly expected it to be a Trans term (NTTAWWT), but it didn't.

I mean, I admit fully to being a "penis-haver", but I hope I am a bit more than that...

/not much
//just a bit
 
2020-12-03 8:36:08 AM  
You have been given a chance to end a relationship just as the really big lies begin.

Move on, find someone more open, and brag to Slate in your next letter about how your sex life is perfect while complaining that your in-laws are toxic.
 
2020-12-03 9:11:47 AM  
CSB: One of my friend's exes was like that.  She broke up with him because he found out he had some porn on the day he was going to propose.

He was so lucky to have gotten caught, and is now married to a wonderful woman.
 
2020-12-03 11:08:10 AM  

isamudyson: Maybe telling her you want to be pegged while jerking off to old Captain Caveman cartoons was a bit too much.


You too?
And here I thought I was the only one...
 
2020-12-03 12:00:52 PM  
 
2020-12-03 12:05:05 PM  

exqqqme: isamudyson: Maybe telling her you want to be pegged while jerking off to old Captain Caveman cartoons was a bit too much.

You too?
And here I thought I was the only one...


"There's always a bigger wanker."
 
2020-12-03 5:31:27 PM  

DerAppie: I mean, you got caught watching porn. Why give her a list of pornstars? Say you look at porn a few times a month and just browse.

Giving a list of names made it way more personal than it had to be.


Seriously. Number one rule of relationships: If you are dead to rights, plead out to a lesser charge.
 
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