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(Slate)   "I'm fairly confident the polyamorous guy I'm dating is a cheater, but how can I be sure of his motives? Because otherwise, I have to face the grim fact polyamory is just an excuse for being unfaithful"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Human sexuality, Marriage, Sexual intercourse, Orgasm, Human sexual behavior, Monogamy, Want, Polyamory  
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380 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 02 Dec 2020 at 11:20 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



22 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-12-02 9:37:18 AM  
Sit down and have a cup of coffee with his wife and discuss their arrangements. But none of that 'Daddy' shiat.
 
2020-12-02 9:46:55 AM  
But I'm very lonely in this pandemic.


Not as lonely as you should be you witless twit.
 
2020-12-02 9:58:46 AM  
You need to understand that men think about sex somewhere between 2 and 47,899 times a day.  If men, in the last 10K years or so, could flip a switch that instantly turned this off and on, when desired, we would be having this conversation in a terraforming colony on Venus or maybe a space station orbiting Centauri A.  The point is, if a man comes up with a way to have sex with more than one person at the same time, chances are really, *really* high that the motivation is to get as much ass as possible and you're nothing more than one of, apparently, many side-pieces.
 
2020-12-02 10:06:36 AM  
I'm more curious about how "poly" lifestyles just seemed to have showed up in the media in the last few years, as if they're gunning for protected class status and additional rights akin to LGBTQ.

"I just can't help it! I was born this way!"
--every guy ever, and most girls too
 
2020-12-02 10:08:22 AM  
Thatsnothowthisworkslady.jpg
 
2020-12-02 11:28:42 AM  
Obvious tag is busy cruising Tinder.
 
2020-12-02 11:30:02 AM  
He told you right away that your role is to be "the other woman" (or at least one of them).  Based on what you've said, this guy is absolutely lying to his wife and cheating on her. If that's what you're into and you're just seeking someone to tell you it's ok, then fine. It's ok.  I might not mean that, but that really doesn't matter to you, does it?

Now, if you want to do this with some class, you're going to need to fark his dad. Do butt stuff.
 
2020-12-02 11:31:12 AM  
There's a difference between being polyamorous and being in an open relationship.  Polyamorous relationships can be long and successful.  I've yet to hear of an open relationship that went the distance.

But this guy's just a cheater, in any case.
 
2020-12-02 11:42:38 AM  

vudukungfu: Thatsnothowthisworkslady.jpg


The actual letter is much less stupid than the headline:

The problem is that she has reason to believe his wife doesn't actually know he's "poly" like he claims.
 
2020-12-02 11:53:52 AM  

NikolaiFarkoff: "I just can't help it! I was born this way!"
--every guy ever, and most girls too


If every guy and most girls were born this way and can't help it (and presumably the enbies too) perhaps that's an even stronger argument for normalizing non-monogamy socially so we don't have to struggle against our natures as much. I realize "it's in our nature so let's socially normalize it" doesn't work for all things (like violence), but as far as I can tell getting rid of the idea that only monogamous relationships count would not be socially harmful.
 
2020-12-02 12:04:53 PM  
She sounds desperate and like she makes really bad life choices.
 
2020-12-02 12:19:20 PM  
I've met a bunch of poly/swinger couples, and there is no secrecy with it. Both partners were into it and generally everyone knew everyone.

The daddy dom/sub thing can also work, but again, both of you need to be into it. If not, it's not going to work out, and that's fine.
 
2020-12-02 12:20:34 PM  
I had a whole post ready to go regarding responsible poly and how everyone needs to be on board, and aware and informed, and then I hit the "Daddy" line and it all short-circuited, and yeah, girl, he's just a cheater who likes having an emotionally vulnerable sidepiece.
 
2020-12-02 12:27:24 PM  
I loved three women. Couldn't decide on one so I married them all. I thought it was big of me.
 
2020-12-02 12:44:02 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-12-02 1:16:01 PM  
There's an easy way to tell.  Did he tell you he was a poly within the first 5 minutes of meeting you and then again every 5 minutes after that for the entirety of your relationship?  If so, he's actually a poly.  If not, he's faking.
 
2020-12-02 1:47:34 PM  
I was the designated side piece for years.  You don't see me complaining.
 
2020-12-02 1:51:31 PM  
Just change your name to Mary.  Or Dorothy.

Polly is a nickname, often for either Mary or Dorothy, derived from their respective nicknames Molly and Dolly. Polly is sometimes a name in its own right.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polly
 
2020-12-02 4:28:08 PM  

Rapmaster2000: There's an easy way to tell.  Did he tell you he was a poly within the first 5 minutes of meeting you and then again every 5 minutes after that for the entirety of your relationship?  If so, he's actually a poly.  If not, he's faking.


Lol no kidding. The one person I met was a 300+ lb woman at a Magic the Gathering game. It was the first thing she said to me when I sat down to play, then kept talking about it for around 2 hours. It was out of control.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-12-02 5:58:31 PM  
Been poly for 9+ years. It's going fine.

If he's cheating, he's not poly: he's an asshole.

/DNRTFA
 
2020-12-02 8:18:53 PM  

nyan9mm: Rapmaster2000: There's an easy way to tell.  Did he tell you he was a poly within the first 5 minutes of meeting you and then again every 5 minutes after that for the entirety of your relationship?  If so, he's actually a poly.  If not, he's faking.

Lol no kidding. The one person I met was a 300+ lb woman at a Magic the Gathering game. It was the first thing she said to me when I sat down to play, then kept talking about it for around 2 hours. It was out of control.

[Fark user image 425x425]



Was she playing a kraken/leviathan deck?
 
2020-12-03 9:49:59 AM  

nyan9mm: Rapmaster2000: There's an easy way to tell.  Did he tell you he was a poly within the first 5 minutes of meeting you and then again every 5 minutes after that for the entirety of your relationship?  If so, he's actually a poly.  If not, he's faking.

Lol no kidding. The one person I met was a 300+ lb woman at a Magic the Gathering game. It was the first thing she said to me when I sat down to play, then kept talking about it for around 2 hours. It was out of control.

[Fark user image image 425x425]


I think of you're talking about Magic, saying your opponent is 300lbs+ is un-necessary repetition.
 
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