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(Daily Star)   Lad meets gran. Gran meets lad. They fall in love. Get married. Set up OnlyFans account. It's a tale as old as time (possible nsfw content on page)   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line
    More: CSB, Marriage, Gary Hardwick, happy couple, 23-year-old lad, wedding night, unhappy relationship, 76-year-old wife, Wedding  
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3373 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Dec 2020 at 9:50 AM (13 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



79 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-12-02 5:12:56 AM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size

\ oblig
 
2020-12-02 5:48:30 AM  
Gross
 
2020-12-02 7:09:28 AM  
They should be on Only Only Only Only Only Fans aka OOOOF
 
2020-12-02 9:52:17 AM  

wademh: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 300x168]
\ oblig


I was gonna say, the reboot sucks.
 
151 [OhFark]
2020-12-02 9:52:25 AM  

sithon: Gross


Yeah, but what if you were 71, banging a 17 year old? It'd be super gross right?

Yes. Yes it would. And I say this as a man dating someone almost half my age (she's legal fwiw)
 
2020-12-02 9:53:39 AM  

offacue: They should be on Only Only Only Only Only Fans aka OOOOF


With DES, AES, and RSA level encryption passwords that are never written down....yuck.
 
WGJ [TotalFark]
2020-12-02 9:55:21 AM  
Should have a not safe for lunch warning in the headline.
 
2020-12-02 9:56:03 AM  

151: (she's legal in Arkansas fwiw)


FTFY
 
2020-12-02 9:56:42 AM  
Good for them, I guess.

I mean, I'm getting up there in years and if I were to get in a similar relationship when I'm 71 that means my partner is currently in diapers, and I probably will be by the time she's 17. I can't imagine doing that, but who knows, maybe I'll be much more broken then than now.
 
2020-12-02 9:57:15 AM  
OnlyGrans
 
151 [OhFark]
2020-12-02 9:59:01 AM  

Wave Of Anal Fury: 151: (she's legal in Arkansas fwiw)

FTFY


Cool. Also Michigan, where I live. But good to know you're aware of the age of consent in arkansas. That's facts you clearly need to know. With your username and all.
 
151 [OhFark]
2020-12-02 9:59:58 AM  
38/21 before this shiat gets outta control
 
2020-12-02 10:00:04 AM  
It's their lives, they're free to live them as they wish.

Why should I care?  In fact why should anyone other than them care?
 
2020-12-02 10:00:13 AM  
So, Harold and Maude with Sports?
 
2020-12-02 10:00:33 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-12-02 10:00:50 AM  
 
Fark user imageView Full Size

Approves
 
2020-12-02 10:01:41 AM  
Meh, as long as he knocked the spiders and dust out of it first, who cares.
 
2020-12-02 10:02:28 AM  
Coming Soon:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttman
 
2020-12-02 10:03:17 AM  
You know that weird feeling you get walking on a lawn after a big rainstorm, and the grass does that waterbed undulation thing? It's like that here.
 
2020-12-02 10:03:46 AM  
Like Twilight but less sparkly.
 
2020-12-02 10:06:20 AM  

151: 38/21 before this shiat gets outta control


good god will you get over yourself. no one on the internet cares if you're getting some trim, or if that trim is attracted to your fat old arse because you toss money around like a drunk sailor. i really hope your life outlook improves some day.
 
2020-12-02 10:07:06 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


It is only 9am CST. I may have already had enough internet for today.
 
151 [OhFark]
2020-12-02 10:07:35 AM  

sinko swimo: 151: 38/21 before this shiat gets outta control

good god will you get over yourself. no one on the internet cares if you're getting some trim, or if that trim is attracted to your fat old arse because you toss money around like a drunk sailor. i really hope your life outlook improves some day.


I was defending myself more than bragging, but sure, go for that angle.
 
2020-12-02 10:07:48 AM  
Alternate headline;
"Sad and pathetic hipster finally gets laid."

i2-prod.dailystar.co.ukView Full Size


"Yeah, younger women are just so mainstream."
 
2020-12-02 10:08:32 AM  
Q: What is it like when you go down on your wife?
A: Depends
 
2020-12-02 10:08:33 AM  
I guess pus from bed sores could be confused with vaginal moistness.

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2020-12-02 10:09:51 AM  
Damn, when did the world become a big ugly pageant? Guess I got high and missed the memo.
 
2020-12-02 10:10:04 AM  

151: sithon: Gross

Yeah, but what if you were 71, banging a 17 year old? It'd be super gross right?

Yes. Yes it would. And I say this as a man dating someone almost half my age (she's legal fwiw)


Well the important thing is that you managed to tell everyone that you're dating someone almost half your age.
 
2020-12-02 10:10:55 AM  
Don't care, had sex.
 
2020-12-02 10:11:57 AM  

Laobaojun: Alternate headline;
"Sad and pathetic hipster finally gets laid."

[i2-prod.dailystar.co.uk image 615x805]

"Yeah, younger women are just so mainstream."


he was into older women before they got moist.
 
151 [OhFark]
2020-12-02 10:12:15 AM  

Fear the Clam: 151: sithon: Gross

Yeah, but what if you were 71, banging a 17 year old? It'd be super gross right?

Yes. Yes it would. And I say this as a man dating someone almost half my age (she's legal fwiw)

Well the important thing is that you managed to tell everyone that you're dating someone almost half your age.


Yeah. I was bragging. That's The takeaway. If I was bragging I'd... Ya know... Have better shiat to say.
 
2020-12-02 10:16:24 AM  
I can't stand being around people half my age, and I'm only 40. And people half my age have waaaay fewer stuffed animals than I do.
 
2020-12-02 10:18:33 AM  

Yellow Beard: Meh, as long as he knocked the spiders and dust out of it first, who cares.


That's what I said about Subby's mom!

...but then the cops told me climb down off the coffin and let them finish the funeral...
 
2020-12-02 10:19:12 AM  
Each to his own. At least he doesn't have to worry about getting her pregnant.
 
2020-12-02 10:22:03 AM  
Um. Okaaaaay.
 
2020-12-02 10:22:11 AM  

Fear the Clam: 151: sithon: Gross

Yeah, but what if you were 71, banging a 17 year old? It'd be super gross right?

Yes. Yes it would. And I say this as a man dating someone almost half my age (she's legal fwiw)

Well the important thing is that you managed to tell everyone that you're dating someone almost half your age.


38/21 isn't *almost half* one's age.


38/18 is.


Obviously, he needs to dump that relic.  She's clearly too mature for him.
 
2020-12-02 10:23:07 AM  

Laobaojun: Alternate headline;
"Sad and pathetic hipster finally gets laid."

[i2-prod.dailystar.co.uk image 615x805]

"Yeah, younger women are just so mainstream."


She's just aged normally, but him?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-12-02 10:23:08 AM  

151: Fear the Clam: 151: sithon: Gross

Yeah, but what if you were 71, banging a 17 year old? It'd be super gross right?

Yes. Yes it would. And I say this as a man dating someone almost half my age (she's legal fwiw)

Well the important thing is that you managed to tell everyone that you're dating someone almost half your age.

Yeah. I was bragging. That's The takeaway. If I was bragging I'd... Ya know... Have better shiat to say.


No, I'm with you.... 71 year olds should stick to 18 and up...
 
2020-12-02 10:23:43 AM  

Marcos P: OnlyGrans


Comment of the year
 
151 [OhFark]
2020-12-02 10:24:09 AM  
Welp, I tried. Pile on, Fark brigade.
 
2020-12-02 10:24:44 AM  
I've seen this movie already.

media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-12-02 10:25:37 AM  

151: sinko swimo: 151: 38/21 before this shiat gets outta control

good god will you get over yourself. no one on the internet cares if you're getting some trim, or if that trim is attracted to your fat old arse because you toss money around like a drunk sailor. i really hope your life outlook improves some day.

I was defending myself more than bragging, but sure, go for that angle.


It's the accurate angle.   You only had to "defend" yourself because you were attempting to brag about buying it in the first place
 
2020-12-02 10:27:28 AM  

wademh: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 300x168]
\ oblig


Harold and Maude (1971): The General, The Psychiatrist, The Priest HD
Youtube n7qd7UrR5ic
 
2020-12-02 10:30:47 AM  
I recall a Ray Bradbury story along these lines.
 
151 [OhFark]
2020-12-02 10:38:42 AM  

KRSESQ: I recall a Ray Bradbury story along these lines.


She's not even close to 451 years old
 
2020-12-02 10:39:09 AM  
50/19, now that this shiat is outta control.
 
2020-12-02 10:39:13 AM  

KRSESQ: I recall a Ray Bradbury story along these lines.


This one?
Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury - Rachel Bloom
Youtube e1IxOS4VzKM
 
2020-12-02 10:39:48 AM  

KRSESQ: I recall a Ray Bradbury story along these lines.


Yeah, he boned the old lady and then the Hitler guy was president.
 
2020-12-02 10:40:54 AM  

mchaboud: 151: Fear the Clam: 151: sithon: Gross

Yeah, but what if you were 71, banging a 17 year old? It'd be super gross right?

Yes. Yes it would. And I say this as a man dating someone almost half my age (she's legal fwiw)

Well the important thing is that you managed to tell everyone that you're dating someone almost half your age.

Yeah. I was bragging. That's The takeaway. If I was bragging I'd... Ya know... Have better shiat to say.

No, I'm with you.... 71 year olds should stick to 18 and up...



Speaking as a 71-er, I totally agree.
 
2020-12-02 10:54:36 AM  
your glossing over the part were they meet at her sons funeral.
 
2020-12-02 10:56:14 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: KRSESQ: I recall a Ray Bradbury story along these lines.

This one?
[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/e1IxOS4V​zKM]


Love this song!
 
2020-12-02 11:00:32 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-12-02 11:06:32 AM  
1. As a gay man growing up in the 60s/70s when same-sex relationships were  "ew, gross." If two people are happy together & don't bring down my property values by parking a rusted-out car on the front lawn, well - Mazel-tov! I don't care. They're happy, raise a glass. Hurts no one.

& B: when I was 36, I dated a 21 year old for a few months. I learned why older dogs growl at puppies: too much damn energy! Hubby (25th anniversary last month) is 6 years my junior & at times that can seem a generation.
 
2020-12-02 11:08:44 AM  
You notice the man looks much older than 23. One seems to gradually age towards the age of one's partner.
 
2020-12-02 11:14:04 AM  

151: Fear the Clam: 151: sithon: Gross

Yeah, but what if you were 71, banging a 17 year old? It'd be super gross right?

Yes. Yes it would. And I say this as a man dating someone almost half my age (she's legal fwiw)

Well the important thing is that you managed to tell everyone that you're dating someone almost half your age.

Yeah. I was bragging. That's The takeaway. If I was bragging I'd... Ya know... Have better shiat to say.


It's a huge shocker that nobody your age wants to put up with you.
 
2020-12-02 11:16:04 AM  
To be fair, people saw this coming when the law was changed to allow turtles and gay platypi to get married. Slippery slope and all that.
 
2020-12-02 11:17:36 AM  

Fear the Clam: KRSESQ: I recall a Ray Bradbury story along these lines.

Yeah, he boned the old lady and then the Hitler guy was president.


That's not the one I was thinking of.

/I also don't think that was Bradbury
//sounds more like Ellison
///or Niven
 
2020-12-02 11:23:46 AM  
one day in the future we will all be make love to a 76 year old.
 
151 [OhFark]
2020-12-02 11:24:48 AM  

Hell Poodle: 151: Fear the Clam: 151: sithon: Gross

Yeah, but what if you were 71, banging a 17 year old? It'd be super gross right?

Yes. Yes it would. And I say this as a man dating someone almost half my age (she's legal fwiw)

Well the important thing is that you managed to tell everyone that you're dating someone almost half your age.

Yeah. I was bragging. That's The takeaway. If I was bragging I'd... Ya know... Have better shiat to say.

It's a huge shocker that nobody your age wants to put up with you.


You can do better than that
 
2020-12-02 11:25:45 AM  

GRCooper: Good for them, I guess.

I mean, I'm getting up there in years and if I were to get in a similar relationship when I'm 71 that means my partner is currently in diapers, and I probably will be by the time she's 17. I can't imagine doing that, but who knows, maybe I'll be much more broken then than now.


Fingers crossed, man, fingers crossed.
 
2020-12-02 11:26:38 AM  

theflatline: I guess pus from bed sores could be confused with vaginal moistness.

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 174x289]


Plus, imagine when she takes out her teeth!
 
2020-12-02 11:29:39 AM  
I ain't sayin he's an old digger ...

/got nuthin
//I just like that song
 
2020-12-02 11:37:48 AM  

bababa: You notice the man looks much older than 23. One seems to gradually age towards the age of one's partner.


You're only as old as the women you feel.
 
2020-12-02 11:38:13 AM  

dkulprit: theflatline: I guess pus from bed sores could be confused with vaginal moistness.

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 174x289]

Plus, imagine when she takes out her teeth!


The correct term is "gumjob."
 
2020-12-02 11:40:30 AM  

151: sithon: Gross

Yeah, but what if you were 71, banging a 17 year old? It'd be super gross right?

Yes. Yes it would. And I say this as a man dating someone almost half my age (she's legal fwiw)


Lol. If she's half your age and legal, you're just paying for sex with goods and services.

/more power to you
//but better you than me
 
2020-12-02 12:01:06 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

So much for eating lunch today........
 
2020-12-02 12:12:43 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
151 [OhFark]
2020-12-02 12:46:26 PM  

undernova: 151: sithon: Gross

Yeah, but what if you were 71, banging a 17 year old? It'd be super gross right?

Yes. Yes it would. And I say this as a man dating someone almost half my age (she's legal fwiw)

Lol. If she's half your age and legal, you're just paying for sex with goods and services.

/more power to you
//but better you than me


Thank you for your assessment, doctor.

What's that? You DON'T have letters after your name?! My goodness I've been robbed.
 
2020-12-02 1:20:09 PM  

151: undernova: 151: sithon: Gross

Yeah, but what if you were 71, banging a 17 year old? It'd be super gross right?

Yes. Yes it would. And I say this as a man dating someone almost half my age (she's legal fwiw)

Lol. If she's half your age and legal, you're just paying for sex with goods and services.

/more power to you
//but better you than me

Thank you for your assessment, doctor.

What's that? You DON'T have letters after your name?! My goodness I've been robbed.


Don't need much education to know that what you're doing won't end well - but then, I'm not the one trying to correlate educational accomplishments with laughing at someone who felt like admitting their indiscretions on a discussion site.

You do you, or her, or whatever. It's America. Just don't pretend it's normal or healthy to play mommy and daddy with someone you're more than old enough to have made.
 
2020-12-02 1:20:33 PM  
So she's at a funeral for her son and sees a young man and decides she wants to bone him.

On the one hand I want to say there's no bad way to deal with a grief that deep.

On the other hand there are some uncomfortable implications here.
 
151 [OhFark]
2020-12-02 1:34:37 PM  

undernova: 151: undernova: 151: sithon: Gross

Yeah, but what if you were 71, banging a 17 year old? It'd be super gross right?

Yes. Yes it would. And I say this as a man dating someone almost half my age (she's legal fwiw)

Lol. If she's half your age and legal, you're just paying for sex with goods and services.

/more power to you
//but better you than me

Thank you for your assessment, doctor.

What's that? You DON'T have letters after your name?! My goodness I've been robbed.

Don't need much education to know that what you're doing won't end well - but then, I'm not the one trying to correlate educational accomplishments with laughing at someone who felt like admitting their indiscretions on a discussion site.

You do you, or her, or whatever. It's America. Just don't pretend it's normal or healthy to play mommy and daddy with someone you're more than old enough to have made.


Fun fact, my oldest biological child was born 3/13/01. She was born 3/3/99.

Give me more advice please.
 
2020-12-02 2:16:36 PM  

151: undernova: 151: undernova: 151: sithon: Gross

Yeah, but what if you were 71, banging a 17 year old? It'd be super gross right?

Yes. Yes it would. And I say this as a man dating someone almost half my age (she's legal fwiw)

Lol. If she's half your age and legal, you're just paying for sex with goods and services.

/more power to you
//but better you than me

Thank you for your assessment, doctor.

What's that? You DON'T have letters after your name?! My goodness I've been robbed.

Don't need much education to know that what you're doing won't end well - but then, I'm not the one trying to correlate educational accomplishments with laughing at someone who felt like admitting their indiscretions on a discussion site.

You do you, or her, or whatever. It's America. Just don't pretend it's normal or healthy to play mommy and daddy with someone you're more than old enough to have made.

Fun fact, my oldest biological child was born 3/13/01. She was born 3/3/99.

Give me more advice please.


I'll repeat: better you than me. I'm sure the spiritual/physical connection you experience with someone who wasn't old enough to be in preschool when you established your Fark account works for you, specifically.
 
2020-12-02 2:37:31 PM  

151: sithon: Gross

Yeah, but what if you were 71, banging a 17 year old? It'd be super gross right?

Yes. Yes it would. And I say this as a man dating someone almost half my age (she's legal fwiw)


Bwahahahahaha! Careful, your hypocrisy is showing....
 
2020-12-02 2:44:40 PM  

undernova: [snip]


Check out the relationship nazi. Observe him clucking his tongue in disapproval of others' lifestyles from the comfort of his mother's basement.
 
2020-12-02 2:59:51 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Do I need a business license in order to manufacture some outrage over this?
 
2020-12-02 4:10:37 PM  

Igor Jakovsky: [Fark user image 425x632]


With all the free porn out there, why would anyone pay for it at all?

/if it was kate upton, i would understand
 
2020-12-02 4:37:55 PM  

xiakc: Igor Jakovsky: [Fark user image 425x632]

With all the free porn out there, why would anyone pay for it at all?

/if it was kate upton, i would understand


Why would Kate Upton need to pay for porn?
 
2020-12-02 4:38:04 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2020-12-02 5:43:16 PM  

macadamnut: Damn, when did the world become a big ugly pageant? Guess I got high and missed the memo.


It's always been that way, just now the interwebs are spreading it beyond Jerry Springer.

/Sabertooth porn on demand?
 
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