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(Huffington Post)   Stop torturing your children with Elf on the Shelf, throw that nasty little boogersnot in the fireplace for a better Christmas   (huffpost.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Santa Claus, Earth, North Pole, Arctic Ocean, lot of parents, South Pole, North Magnetic Pole, Russia  
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274 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 01 Dec 2020 at 7:38 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



35 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-12-01 1:32:41 AM  
But it's so effective in acclimating them to a surveillance state!
 
2020-12-01 1:44:11 AM  
My wife and I use the elf as a hide and seek game. Hide it in plain sight, and other has to find it and hide it somewhere else.
 
2020-12-01 2:04:10 AM  
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2020-12-01 2:13:39 AM  
Link gets my vote because boogersnot is one of my favourite words.
 
2020-12-01 4:03:17 AM  
I taught my kids snitches get stitches.  I soaked that bastard in beef stock and hid him on low shelf. The dog did the deed.

//not really, he probably would have swallowed it whole.
 
2020-12-01 7:28:53 AM  
Our kids really like them. As a stocking stuffer kind of present they've gotten accessories. The girls pick a couple out every night so the elves can pick something to wear. I try not to play up the whole "they're watching you" bit. I figure that we use the "Santa knows if you've been bad or good" enough. We tell them that the elves are here to make sure the family is ready for Christmas and leave it at that. Some of the time they interpret it in the way that they're watching for good behavior other times the girls will come up with imaginative scenarios like they're checking that we have enough decorations and of course on Christmas Eve that we left cookies and milk out.
 
2020-12-01 7:52:57 AM  
Telling our kid the tooth fairy died of covid-19 worked so well we contemplated doing it with the elf, too.
 
2020-12-01 7:55:07 AM  
Voluntary panopticon, sheeples.
 
2020-12-01 7:57:45 AM  
"Elf on the Shelf"?
Wimps.

Bring back that Old Time Religion.
"Mantle Krampus" will have them on their best behavior all year round.

popshopsite.comView Full Size
 
2020-12-01 7:59:49 AM  
Anybody ever had sh** on a shingle? Yeah it's like that..........
 
2020-12-01 8:20:57 AM  
Sometimes, it's the elf that gets tortured:
Elf on the Shelf - SNL
Youtube C9EJSMG_cdo
 
2020-12-01 8:28:06 AM  
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2020-12-01 8:34:05 AM  

MonstarMike: Our kids really like them. As a stocking stuffer kind of present they've gotten accessories. The girls pick a couple out every night so the elves can pick something to wear. I try not to play up the whole "they're watching you" bit. I figure that we use the "Santa knows if you've been bad or good" enough. We tell them that the elves are here to make sure the family is ready for Christmas and leave it at that. Some of the time they interpret it in the way that they're watching for good behavior other times the girls will come up with imaginative scenarios like they're checking that we have enough decorations and of course on Christmas Eve that we left cookies and milk out.


As a person who does not understand this phenomenon at all, just let me ask you - why did you even bring one into the house in the first place if you aren't into its stated purpose and mythology?

Anyway, like many people I find the entire idea creepy. And stupid. But mostly creepy.
 
2020-12-01 8:46:44 AM  
I saw them as another marketing bit that has the added bonus of creating another thing for harried parents to have to remember every night before Christmas.
 
2020-12-01 8:48:51 AM  
Please don't actually throw your elf on a shelf into the fireplace - do you know how many toxins are released when you burn that shiat?
 
2020-12-01 8:49:15 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: MonstarMike: Our kids really like them. As a stocking stuffer kind of present they've gotten accessories. The girls pick a couple out every night so the elves can pick something to wear. I try not to play up the whole "they're watching you" bit. I figure that we use the "Santa knows if you've been bad or good" enough. We tell them that the elves are here to make sure the family is ready for Christmas and leave it at that. Some of the time they interpret it in the way that they're watching for good behavior other times the girls will come up with imaginative scenarios like they're checking that we have enough decorations and of course on Christmas Eve that we left cookies and milk out.

As a person who does not understand this phenomenon at all, just let me ask you - why did you even bring one into the house in the first place if you aren't into its stated purpose and mythology?

Anyway, like many people I find the entire idea creepy. And stupid. But mostly creepy.


Oh, that's easy.  People give them as gifts to new parents. My sister gave up trying to tell people that she had no intention of using those freaky things.  It's easier to accept them and leave them in the farking box.  But then the kid gets old enough to help decorate and finds it, and you're screwed. The kid will want you to do it because the other kids get to find the elf, just seeing it as a game of hide and seek

My family just does the pickle ornament hunt.
 
2020-12-01 8:56:40 AM  
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2020-12-01 8:59:49 AM  
There are better alternatives

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2020-12-01 9:12:18 AM  

Otera: [Fark user image image 425x657]


Note to self: pick up catnip on the way home
 
2020-12-01 9:30:18 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: MonstarMike: Our kids really like them. As a stocking stuffer kind of present they've gotten accessories. The girls pick a couple out every night so the elves can pick something to wear. I try not to play up the whole "they're watching you" bit. I figure that we use the "Santa knows if you've been bad or good" enough. We tell them that the elves are here to make sure the family is ready for Christmas and leave it at that. Some of the time they interpret it in the way that they're watching for good behavior other times the girls will come up with imaginative scenarios like they're checking that we have enough decorations and of course on Christmas Eve that we left cookies and milk out.

As a person who does not understand this phenomenon at all, just let me ask you - why did you even bring one into the house in the first place if you aren't into its stated purpose and mythology?

Anyway, like many people I find the entire idea creepy. And stupid. But mostly creepy.


I think the first one was a gift from the mother in law. There's made for TV movies etc that have the girls sucked in. The whole thing is probably just as bad as telling them some creepy, totally not a pedophile, old man is watching them even when they sleep. I figure the "believing in Santa" bit didn't ruin my wife or me so as long as our girls find it entertaining we'll keep up the charade of hiding a stuffed toy every evening.

My wife enjoys hiding them. I've been banned since I keep placing them in configurations that the wife says is an affront to all that Christmas stands for. Whatever the hell that means.
 
2020-12-01 9:33:25 AM  
Apparently they're trying to build a whole community around that thing. Companions, pets, outfits, etc. It's Christmas Barbie!

Don't go to Target. They've got it all!
 
2020-12-01 9:43:03 AM  

Driedsponge: Telling our kid the tooth fairy died of covid-19 worked so well we contemplated doing it with the elf, too.


Just tell the kid the Abominable Snow Monster finally got em
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-12-01 9:45:04 AM  
weight it down in the fish tank for the kids to find

double decker in the john

inside the kitchen blender

posed struggling to escape via mail slot
 
2020-12-01 9:57:11 AM  
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Oh come on, Fark
 
2020-12-01 9:57:40 AM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size

This thread is meant for greater things
 
2020-12-01 10:00:18 AM  
Just put ours up last night I hate the damn things but my kids like looking for them, I don't move them every night I gave them an excuse last year that they are to tired to move or something.
 
2020-12-01 10:19:26 AM  
WTF is eld on the shelf? I've never heard of this. Sounds like it might be better not to know.
 
2020-12-01 11:04:02 AM  
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2020-12-01 12:07:29 PM  

wax_on: WTF is eld on the shelf? I've never heard of this. Sounds like it might be better not to know.


Same. Didn't even know this was a thing until last year but it comes across as so creepy and weird that I'm not surprised it's not talked about enough to be ubiquitous knowledge.
 
2020-12-01 12:18:28 PM  
I must admit, we've never been an "Elf on the Shelf" kind of house for a number of reasons.

Then why the fark are you writing an article about them? Oh yeah, I forgot

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2020-12-01 12:22:24 PM  

kdawg7736: [Fark user image 218x231]


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2020-12-01 12:23:47 PM  
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2020-12-01 1:54:54 PM  
Please check before throwing it in the fire to make sure it's not Ant-Man.
 
2020-12-01 2:25:48 PM  
Someone gave us one when the kids were young and the box with any instructions/rules/whatever ended up being thrown out so I never had a clue and I just displayed the thing with the little stuffed Reindeer and other house decorations. I literally never knew the backstory on it and being adverse to most of the xmas tripe on TV I never saw anything about it. I've always been a bit casual about most holidays so I don't really try to follow any strict guidelines.
 
2020-12-01 2:53:58 PM  

baltimoreblonde: Apparently they're trying to build a whole community around that thing. Companions, pets, outfits, etc. It's Christmas Barbie!

Don't go to Target. They've got it all!


Ugh. Target sure does. And I have to shelve and constantly reorganize the damned things. Elf on the shelf story books. Activity packs. Knock off target brand elves for your shelves. "Now with girl elf!"

/Still not as bad as the stocking aisle
 
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