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(Washington Post)   Turns out men need a sufficient level of football and beer to sustain friendships, both of which are in short supply during a pandemic   (washingtonpost.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Interpersonal relationship, Friendship, Marriage, Love, Wife, Man, Game, old gamer friends  
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2083 clicks; posted to Main » and Sports » on 30 Nov 2020 at 6:32 PM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-11-30 5:05:40 PM  
And don't forget nachos.  They catalyze the beer and football.

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2020-11-30 6:30:13 PM  
Guys help each other in times of need

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2020-11-30 6:33:25 PM  
Well we can't watch porn together. That would be weird
 
2020-11-30 6:34:04 PM  
He started recognizing how dependent his friendships had become on those Sunday football games and nights at 14th Street lounges, on venting about Republicans or why the Caps fell short in the playoffs. They hardly ever talked about relationships or family, or just generally how they were doing. He had never met many of their family members.

imokwiththis.jpg
 
2020-11-30 6:34:45 PM  
Duh
 
2020-11-30 6:35:29 PM  

pastramithemosterotic: Well we can't watch porn together. That would be weird


I used to flip through Playboys with my best friend in junior high. Once, we were like "I'll take this bathroom, you take that bathroom, meet you back here in 90 seconds."
 
2020-11-30 6:38:11 PM  

Super Chronic: pastramithemosterotic: Well we can't watch porn together. That would be weird

I used to flip through Playboys with my best friend in junior high. Once, we were like "I'll take this bathroom, you take that bathroom, meet you back here in 90 seconds."


Nah, you gotta just go back to back in that situation

If you aren't watching him it's not gay
 
2020-11-30 6:39:32 PM  

pastramithemosterotic: Super Chronic: pastramithemosterotic: Well we can't watch porn together. That would be weird

I used to flip through Playboys with my best friend in junior high. Once, we were like "I'll take this bathroom, you take that bathroom, meet you back here in 90 seconds."

Nah, you gotta just go back to back in that situation

If you aren't watching him it's not gay


You never go a2a.
 
2020-11-30 6:41:17 PM  

6nome: pastramithemosterotic: Super Chronic: pastramithemosterotic: Well we can't watch porn together. That would be weird

I used to flip through Playboys with my best friend in junior high. Once, we were like "I'll take this bathroom, you take that bathroom, meet you back here in 90 seconds."

Nah, you gotta just go back to back in that situation

If you aren't watching him it's not gay

You never go a2a.


Well you keep your boxers on. Just pull on it through the button fly
 
2020-11-30 6:42:25 PM  
Now when the elections over where are we going to get our daily dose of tribalism?
 
2020-11-30 6:42:28 PM  
Wait who is having a tough time finding beer?
 
2020-11-30 6:42:57 PM  

pastramithemosterotic: 6nome: pastramithemosterotic: Super Chronic: pastramithemosterotic: Well we can't watch porn together. That would be weird

I used to flip through Playboys with my best friend in junior high. Once, we were like "I'll take this bathroom, you take that bathroom, meet you back here in 90 seconds."

Nah, you gotta just go back to back in that situation

If you aren't watching him it's not gay

You never go a2a.

Well you keep your boxers on. Just pull on it through the button fly


Ah, yes. The hole-in-the-sheet approach.
 
2020-11-30 6:47:31 PM  
Huh, I don't care about football and I generally dislike beer - maybe that's why I can't sustain friendships

/ Or maybe it's that I'm generally worthless 🤔
 
2020-11-30 6:47:53 PM  
I really do feel for my husband.    He has the beer (oh boy does he have the beer) and he can get football on the tube.

But last night, I noticed he had put on his favorite old 49ers' game jersey.   he didn't even mention it.   He watched the game, all by himself in his 'man cave".    I found it sweetly sad and endearing.   I love my guy.
 
2020-11-30 6:47:57 PM  

mjjt: Guys help each other in times of need

[Fark user image image 340x198]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-11-30 6:48:53 PM  

Super Chronic: pastramithemosterotic: Well we can't watch porn together. That would be weird

I used to flip through Playboys with my best friend in junior high. Once, we were like "I'll take this bathroom, you take that bathroom, meet you back here in 90 seconds."


I discovered one of my junior high bf's brother had hundreds of Playboys.  I went through them one by one while the friend was off doing I don't know what.

I also had a friend when Pac Man was big who had a Playboy with a Pac Man cheat pattern  He was very excited to show me this and was dismayed that I was too distracted by the chicks to focus on the Pac Man article. Eventually he cut out the article so we could study it in peace.
 
2020-11-30 6:50:03 PM  
No sports, few friends, see maybe twice a year. Talk about things that aren't too personal because it's none of their business.

Give your balls a tug.
 
2020-11-30 6:50:46 PM  
Meh, I game with my friends, both online and IRL. Yes, beer is generally part of that, but when my buddy's wife was newly on the wagon I was fine with just having Dr. Pepper for game nights. If there's a football or hockey game on it's generally background unless it's playoff time and it's a game we care about.
 
2020-11-30 6:54:33 PM  

Super Chronic: He started recognizing how dependent his friendships had become on those Sunday football games and nights at 14th Street lounges, on venting about Republicans or why the Caps fell short in the playoffs. They hardly ever talked about relationships or family, or just generally how they were doing. He had never met many of their family members.

imokwiththis.jpg


Yep.  My friends are friends because of what we do together in our various circles and associations.  Not the Hollywood type of friends who are life-long and have deep conversations together.  We put on uniforms and shoot muskets.  We distribute food and school supplies.  We drink beer and play board games.

I shoot muskets with various history and theater enthusiasts, but I would not want to talk about family with them.  I distribute supplies and materials with business owners and teachers and doctors, but I would not want to talk about dating with them.  I drink and game with men my age, but I do not want to talk about life overall with them.  It would be awkward.  There are times and places for such personal matters.
 
2020-11-30 6:57:29 PM  
I've largely been able to continue having small group training rides (cycling) with a few good friends. Beers & bullshiatting usually follow. It's been great to maintain that.

What I really miss though is the broader bike racing community. There're a ton of good friends & acquaintances I haven't seen since March or at all this year. 99% of racing's been cancelled outright. I'm not interested in it anyway since it wouldn't be safe to be in close proximity breathing on, sweating on & bumping into each other. I seriously miss a ton of those people though.
 
2020-11-30 6:58:49 PM  
Haha, imagine the outrage if somebody wrote an article that the gist of is: women should just be more like men.
 
2020-11-30 6:58:51 PM  
I was talking to my oldest friend the other day mentioning my weekly card night and quarterly camping trips and he exclaimed 'who are you and what have you done with my friend?'

We had our small social group for HS and most of us drifted apart save the occasional social media post. As I was looking at the people I associated with, most of them only had one, maybe two social groups that only had a handful of people in them.

So, I get it. A lot of men only have a small circle of friends. And those that aren't attached to a significant other are even worse off.
 
2020-11-30 7:01:37 PM  

Dewey Fidalgo: I really do feel for my husband.    He has the beer (oh boy does he have the beer) and he can get football on the tube.

But last night, I noticed he had put on his favorite old 49ers' game jersey.   he didn't even mention it.   He watched the game, all by himself in his 'man cave".    I found it sweetly sad and endearing.   I love my guy.


If he didn't wallow in self pity, why would you project it upon him?

He had his beer, his football and his jersey. He's a guy. He was fine.
 
2020-11-30 7:02:24 PM  

mjjt: Guys help each other in times of need

[Fark user image image 340x198]


Reminds me of a certain NSFW comic from Sexy Losers.
 
2020-11-30 7:05:12 PM  
DNRTFA bc the headline irritated me.

Beer? Check.

Football or preferred game? Check.

No commingling while lacking those two things? The idea is ludicrous, unless you're a neanderthal. As difficult as it is to see my real friends in this time (they are raising families and I'm still raising hell), we all stick together. As a former high school jock I've been blessed with friends who have all sorts of interests. When they collide with mine, I learn things! How great is it that for every birthday you keep learning?

I know it's tough to get out there if your view of the world is behind the goalposts and whatever liquor you smuggled in, but being a male doesn't revolve around stereotypical dude stuff. Ever tried floristry? I can't get enough of that sh*t. Put your mask on and go to your city garden.
 
2020-11-30 7:09:29 PM  

Super Chronic: He started recognizing how dependent his friendships had become on those Sunday football games and nights at 14th Street lounges, on venting about Republicans or why the Caps fell short in the playoffs. They hardly ever talked about relationships or family, or just generally how they were doing. He had never met many of their family members.

imokwiththis.jpg


This. It's weird at work (I've relocated to Texas from the PNW) 'cause people WANT to talk families.

No offense, I don't care about your family or your medical issues or what I consider to be life's basic maintenance. I'm slightly interested in home improvement stiff, but only so I can get ideas/recommendations. I like ideas and concepts.

It's not that I don't like you, co-worker, or that I don't hope you're successful and happy. I do. I just think your relationships are your relationships, and it's really no one's business unless you tell 'em. I'll nod politely and pretend you're saying something interesting if you tell me, and I'll probably store it in my head because I remember damn near everything I hear...but I don't care. I'm also not interested in TV or anime or church.

/of course, I have accepted that this isn't going to win close friends or be great for networking
//Coordinating times to meet with family/friends and the stress of getting there/back is more of a negative than the actual visiting is positive
///I don't wanna talk work with people not in my industry 'cause why would they care and I don't wanna talk work with people in my industry because I don't like BS/business talk and that's 90% of marketers' vocabulary
 
2020-11-30 7:12:03 PM  
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2020-11-30 7:12:48 PM  
Subby me and my friends are doing well, skype d&d sessions and the occasional social distancing shopping trips.
 
2020-11-30 7:13:27 PM  
Something I say a lot...

Seven billion. Think about that. 7,000,000,000. That isn't a number, to your brain. It's an abstract. An idea. You couldn't be shown two pages, one with 6.75 billion dots, the other with 7 billion, and really register a difference. A difference of 250 million is nothing to you at this scale. A rounding error. Close enough.

Seven billion people on the planet. How many do you know? Your coworkers, your neighbors and their family, maybe a favorite clerk, or a cook at a restaurant you like? Maybe a hundred people, if you get out a lot, and have a good memory.

But can you say you know them? What they aspire to, or regret? What moves them, and keeps them moving?

How many people do you know that well?

How many people know you that well? How many would you take a risk to let that close?

If you get seven, in a lifetime, you're lucky. Man, seven people who know all your idiosyncrasies? All your doubts, and fears? Seven people who could really reach you with a word? Seven is a lot, for people like that.

7 of 7,000,000,000. Maybe one a decade, if you have a modestly long life... and if you take a chance now and then.

Most people will never be that to you. And that's ok. You don't have nearly enough time to give 7 billion people. Enjoy your moments, and appreciate the lack of commitment that represents.

Go have fun, and understand that it's fleeting. Be a good friend, enjoy the party, don't leave a mess.
 
2020-11-30 7:14:12 PM  

bfh0417: Dewey Fidalgo: I really do feel for my husband.    He has the beer (oh boy does he have the beer) and he can get football on the tube.

But last night, I noticed he had put on his favorite old 49ers' game jersey.   he didn't even mention it.   He watched the game, all by himself in his 'man cave".    I found it sweetly sad and endearing.   I love my guy.

If he didn't wallow in self pity, why would you project it upon him?

He had his beer, his football and his jersey. He's a guy. He was fine.


There're very, very few guys anywhere who'd rather sit & drink 6 beers than share a 6-pack with 5 friends.

Some may pretend otherwise, but most know the former's just depressing.
 
2020-11-30 7:15:13 PM  
Since I didn't hang out with anyone before all this, it hasn't been a problem.
 
2020-11-30 7:15:24 PM  
Mid-50s guy here: Over the years, my friends have either had kids and fallen of the face of the Earth, or started hanging out with someone awful, or only want to get together at informal "talent shows."

Before the pandemic I used up all my social energy on being a good leader at the office, and felt vaguely guilty about never having the energy to hang out with old friends. The pandemic is awesome because I don't have to feel guilty about it.
 
2020-11-30 7:17:53 PM  

TheSwizz: No sports, few friends, see maybe twice a year. Talk about things that aren't too personal because it's none of their business.

Give your balls a tug.


i.pinimg.comView Full Size


/ Existence is weird and scary and dissatisfying and we never want what we need and dying is the same as the end of the universe.
// Great, now STFU and pass me a beer.
/// A healthy relationship doesn't need to often involve a bunch of gossip and deep thoughts.
 
2020-11-30 7:20:22 PM  

pastramithemosterotic: Well we can't watch porn together. That would be weird


Well just watch it back to back.
 
2020-11-30 7:20:50 PM  

bfh0417: Dewey Fidalgo: I really do feel for my husband.    He has the beer (oh boy does he have the beer) and he can get football on the tube.

But last night, I noticed he had put on his favorite old 49ers' game jersey.   he didn't even mention it.   He watched the game, all by himself in his 'man cave".    I found it sweetly sad and endearing.   I love my guy.

If he didn't wallow in self pity, why would you project it upon him?

He had his beer, his football and his jersey. He's a guy. He was fine.


He wasn't wallowing.   And I'm sorry that your wife doesn't treat you with tenderness.   He's a social butterfly, He loves watching the game with others. He has never put that jersey on unless he was going to watch "the game" with his friends.   This is a guy who decided, when he married me that he would be a Beaver fan (I'm an alumna).   It's been a difficult thing, he "sacrificed" for me.   But yesterday, he put on the jersey for his beloved 49ers  (a fan for nearly 60 years, he's 67) for the first time when he was alone.  I'm just glad they won.
 
2020-11-30 7:25:36 PM  
I have a lot of friends, but really only a few with whom I spend any considerable amount of time. We just don't see each other as often with this covid mess. Still have my Friday night high friend and my football crew, though it's just not quite the same right now. Our parties used to be 15+ people. It's more like 6 or fewer now.
 
2020-11-30 7:29:51 PM  
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I'm all out of bromance, apparently.
 
2020-11-30 7:34:24 PM  

Dewey Fidalgo: This is a guy who decided, when he married me that he would be a Beaver fan


i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2020-11-30 7:37:01 PM  

TheSwizz: No sports, few friends, see maybe twice a year. Talk about things that aren't too personal because it's none of their business.

Give your balls a tug.


Is that an order, or an offer?
 
2020-11-30 7:37:43 PM  

Adebisi: Dewey Fidalgo: This is a guy who decided, when he married me that he would be a Beaver fan

[i.imgflip.com image 850x477]


I love those signs in PDX.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-11-30 7:42:02 PM  

6nome: pastramithemosterotic: 6nome: pastramithemosterotic: Super Chronic: pastramithemosterotic: Well we can't watch porn together. That would be weird

I used to flip through Playboys with my best friend in junior high. Once, we were like "I'll take this bathroom, you take that bathroom, meet you back here in 90 seconds."

Nah, you gotta just go back to back in that situation

If you aren't watching him it's not gay

You never go a2a.

Well you keep your boxers on. Just pull on it through the button fly

Ah, yes. The hole-in-the-sheet approach.


Good enough for the huderites. And they are a godly peoples.
 
2020-11-30 7:42:12 PM  

GregInIndy: I've largely been able to continue having small group training rides (cycling) with a few good friends. Beers & bullshiatting usually follow. It's been great to maintain that.

What I really miss though is the broader bike racing community. There're a ton of good friends & acquaintances I haven't seen since March or at all this year. 99% of racing's been cancelled outright. I'm not interested in it anyway since it wouldn't be safe to be in close proximity breathing on, sweating on & bumping into each other. I seriously miss a ton of those people though.


csb

So, amazon decided to take over 2 buildings close to where I was working at the time. CBRE then decided they wanted go possibly get into that action also, so declined to renew the leases on the building I was working in, and the one across the parking lot. That one moved within  weeks, "mine" had not. There are a *lot* of cycling folks here, and they slowly but surely started taking over the parking lot where they would offload their bikes, and ride around until the majority of the group had shown up.
About 2 weeks in, they started parking closer and closer. Those spots were open due to everyone in the office working remote. I come out for a break, open my car, light up a smoke, and listen to the radio. I got so many angry glares, like HOW DARE YOU SMOKE AROUND US !
Anyhow, that was the only bad thing, but they also pissed off the fedex and ups guys who just wanted to get in and pickup without having to deal with  people or so riding around in circles on their only way to the shipping bay. .
/endit endit endit
 
2020-11-30 7:46:48 PM  

Adebisi: Dewey Fidalgo: This is a guy who decided, when he married me that he would be a Beaver fan

[i.imgflip.com image 850x477]


For her sake, I'm glad he's a fan.
 
2020-11-30 7:53:19 PM  

Adebisi: Dewey Fidalgo: This is a guy who decided, when he married me that he would be a Beaver fan

[i.imgflip.com image 850x477]


We love our Beavers in Oregon, it's even on our flag!   But there are only so many (so, so many) times we can hear the beaver jokes.   :P
 
2020-11-30 7:55:53 PM  

Super Chronic: He started recognizing how dependent his friendships had become on those Sunday football games and nights at 14th Street lounges, on venting about Republicans or why the Caps fell short in the playoffs. They hardly ever talked about relationships or family, or just generally how they were doing. He had never met many of their family members.

imokwiththis.jpg


Article written by Samantha Schmidt. Gee, would have never have thought it was written by a woman.
 
2020-11-30 8:04:30 PM  
Tell me aboot it. I haven't seen my bros in a dog's age. Now it's winter and fark all that.
 
2020-11-30 8:08:26 PM  
Turns out that it wasn't friendship, but parallel play. Like you start to see in normal toddlers.
 
2020-11-30 8:11:54 PM  

pastramithemosterotic: Super Chronic: pastramithemosterotic: Well we can't watch porn together. That would be weird

I used to flip through Playboys with my best friend in junior high. Once, we were like "I'll take this bathroom, you take that bathroom, meet you back here in 90 seconds."

Nah, you gotta just go back to back in that situation

If you aren't watching him it's not gay


lh3.googleusercontent.comView Full Size
 
2020-11-30 8:18:29 PM  
I thought this was a feature of male relationships and not a bug.

It's painful enough when my girlfriend wants to talk about relationships.

Hey, how's the wife and kids?

Good.  You?

Good.

That's about the level of relationship talk I can handle with other guys.  The only exception is if one is going through a divorce, then we rally and support their transition to happiness.
 
2020-11-30 8:34:55 PM  

FuManchu7: I thought this was a feature of male relationships and not a bug.

It's painful enough when my girlfriend wants to talk about relationships.

Hey, how's the wife and kids?

Good.  You?

Good.

That's about the level of relationship talk I can handle with other guys.  The only exception is if one is going through a divorce, then we rally and support their transition to happiness.


How rugged and tough.
 
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