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(The Bulwark)   "They seem to have been drafted by a spacebar-phobic first-year coming out the back end of a meth binge"   (thebulwark.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Pleading, Appeal, Lawsuit, Rudy Giuliani, Trump team's election lawsuits, Sidney Powell, Court order, Plaintiff  
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4478 clicks; posted to Politics » on 30 Nov 2020 at 5:16 PM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



76 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-11-30 12:53:16 PM  
cdn-images-1.medium.comView Full Size

 
2020-11-30 1:34:41 PM  
Well, if Lord Tensai is a witness, I believe everything.


media.bleacherreport.comView Full Size
 
2020-11-30 2:03:29 PM  
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2020-11-30 2:07:21 PM  
If you're going to just make shiat up for a living, seems like starting and operating a cult would be at least as lucrative and would come with fewer legal ramifications. Both cons are still dangerous and counterproductive.
 
2020-11-30 2:27:18 PM  
I swear someone used python to script something and somewhere told it to strip().
 
2020-11-30 2:30:39 PM  
This is an amazing article. Really. This is a worthwhile read to brighten your day.
 
2020-11-30 3:20:19 PM  
More like release the Karen.
 
2020-11-30 3:22:37 PM  
Release of the Buttkraken.
 
2020-11-30 3:23:00 PM  
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2020-11-30 3:24:18 PM  
I read that first as spacebear and then space bar (the place) instead of spacebar the keyboard key. I swear I haven't been drinking.
 
2020-11-30 3:24:20 PM  
I like the word "whethermaliciously".  It may take a while to actually use it in conversation, but I'm patient.
 
2020-11-30 3:26:41 PM  
thebulwark.comView Full Size


I'm pretty sure this was lifted straight out of Finnegans Wake.
 
2020-11-30 3:27:02 PM  
These Bulwark articles are hilariously good reads.

"It's a ritual formula, it's hard to mess up, and every lawyer I know who practices in federal courts uses a fill-in-the-blanks template. Every lawyer except Sidney Powell, I guess-because between the two filings she managed to spell the word "district" four different ways, batting .250 on accuracy."
 
2020-11-30 3:27:14 PM  
How       many  spaces    are            needed between            words?
 
2020-11-30 3:27:17 PM  
I seem to remember this nutjob Powell being described as a former Federal Prosecutor. I am curious as to A.) why she is a former and B.) how she even became a prosecutor in the first place, was she even qualified? Curious to know what colleagues have to say about her, did she seem this mentally unstable when she worked with them? Did she have a drinking or drunk abuse issue when they knew her?
 
2020-11-30 3:28:48 PM  

PanicAttack: I read that first as spacebear and then space bar (the place) instead of spacebar the keyboard key. I swear I haven't been drinking.



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and why not drink, this is worth a few shots every time The twitler-in-chief or his minions try to yell fraud with no proof.
 
2020-11-30 3:29:03 PM  
"Jurisdiction Avenue" is definitely going to be the name of ...
 
2020-11-30 3:29:30 PM  
Maybe contact some of Trump's old professors from Wharton. I bet the similarity between these comical legal filings and Trump's approach to coursework assignments are eerily similar.
 
2020-11-30 3:29:45 PM  
Karken sweat.

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2020-11-30 3:29:59 PM  

Moroning: How       many  spaces    are            needed between            words?


Noneatallincertainareasapparently

/distric
//dsitrict
///dicstic
 
2020-11-30 3:30:10 PM  
If Team Trump disavows responsibility for her then who's paying her now?
 
2020-11-30 3:31:06 PM  

hobnail: [thebulwark.com image 850x176]

I'm pretty sure this was lifted straight out of Finnegans Wake.


Here Comes Evidence!

/ literature nerd humor
 
2020-11-30 3:32:56 PM  

BMulligan: hobnail: [thebulwark.com image 850x176]

I'm pretty sure this was lifted straight out of Finnegans Wake.

Here Comes Evidence!

/ literature nerd humor


I am literally laughing out loud. Fortunately hardly anyone is in the office.  Well-played.
 
2020-11-30 3:33:43 PM  
If you want to read this guy really rip apart Sidney Powell's filings in detail, follow him (Mike Dunford) on Twitter (@questauthority). Even reading as a non lawyer, the incompetence is astonishing.
 
2020-11-30 3:34:24 PM  
The complaints that Sidney Powell filed in these two cases are full of so many misspellings and missing spaces that they'd drive a proofreader to drink. The faithful think that's nine-dimensional chess, intended to distract the media from the quality of the allegations.

If you think that anybody smart enough and skilled enough with the language to be a proofreader hasn't been drinking HEAVILY for quite some time now....well, you got another drink coming [sic].
 
2020-11-30 3:35:07 PM  
Becoming a lawyer is evidently a whole lot f*cking easier than I've ever been led to believe.

Also, I'm never going to beat myself up over my job performance, ever again.  I don't get paid enough to have to do that to myself, clearly.
 
2020-11-30 3:35:38 PM  

PanicAttack: I read that first as spacebear and then space bar (the place) instead of spacebar the keyboard key. I swear I haven't been drinking.


I did the same, but I have a decent amount of tetrahydrocannabinol in my bloodstream.
 
2020-11-30 3:35:42 PM  

hobnail: [thebulwark.com image 850x176]

I'm pretty sure this was lifted straight out of Finnegans Wake.


I figured "translated from German"...
 
2020-11-30 3:36:50 PM  
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2020-11-30 3:37:10 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2020-11-30 3:37:28 PM  

Moroning: How       many  spaces    are            needed between            words?


Seven at the start of a paragraph, on after a word and two after a sentence.
 
2020-11-30 3:38:28 PM  
I knew it was bad, but I didn't think Q-Anon could really turn your brain into swiss-cheese.
 
2020-11-30 3:39:09 PM  

Cheron: Moroning: How       many  spaces    are            needed between            words?

Seven at the start of a paragraphe, on after a word and two after a sentence.


fixed that for you
 
2020-11-30 3:40:07 PM  

GranoblasticMan: PanicAttack: I read that first as spacebear and then space bar (the place) instead of spacebar the keyboard key. I swear I haven't been drinking.

I did the same, but I have a decent amount of tetrahydrocannabinol in my bloodstream.


Distraction is my excuse if you can call it one. :)
 
2020-11-30 3:40:43 PM  
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2020-11-30 3:41:29 PM  
IHIARETHEBESTPURPLE!
 
2020-11-30 3:42:54 PM  

nytmare: If Team Trump disavows responsibility for her then who's paying her now?


She's going to be paid with a barony once King Trump is crowned.
 
2020-11-30 3:43:50 PM  

Destructor: I knew it was bad, but I didn't think Q-Anon could really turn your brain into swiss-cheese.


Their brains are pretty much on their way to a puddle of roquefort cheese. The Q-derps add their own radioactive mold to the mix.
 
2020-11-30 3:44:51 PM  

My Klezmer Metal Cover Band: "Jurisdiction Avenue" is definitely going to be the name of ...


A US Supreme Court meets Cop Rock-style musical, but with acting and singing talent equivalent to the talent of Trump's election fraud legal team.
 
2020-11-30 3:44:53 PM  
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2020-11-30 3:45:28 PM  
The 'filing' excerpts are what you would expect if some disaffected staff writers at the old MAD Magazine would concoct if they had all been slammed with an Editorial 'no farken way!', retired to a basement bar with a portable Remington, and then hammered themselves and the keyboard until they were all thrown out at 2 am...

/ saw this at the Phoenix a few times when I worked IT at the Scum
// newsroom had a direct line to a phone on the bar so they could contact the reporters
/// Rupert's first step up to world domination after the Advertiser
 
2020-11-30 3:47:06 PM  

My Klezmer Metal Cover Band: "Jurisdiction Avenue" is definitely going to be the name of ...


... an album by Alan Parsons son.
 
2020-11-30 3:47:27 PM  

Moroning: How       many  spaces    are            needed between            words?


It really seems like they took all of the spaces that were removed from the run-on words and randomly inserted them into the rest of the document.
 
2020-11-30 3:47:48 PM  

austerity101: Becoming a lawyer is evidently a whole lot f*cking easier than I've ever been led to believe.

Also, I'm never going to beat myself up over my job performance, ever again.  I don't get paid enough to have to do that to myself, clearly.


These things continue to prove my belief that all one needs to do to pass the bar is blow the bar examiner.

I did not do this. I did not pass.
 
2020-11-30 3:50:45 PM  

Gyrfalcon: austerity101: Becoming a lawyer is evidently a whole lot f*cking easier than I've ever been led to believe.

Also, I'm never going to beat myself up over my job performance, ever again.  I don't get paid enough to have to do that to myself, clearly.

These things continue to prove my belief that all one needs to do to pass the bar is blow the bar examiner.

I did not do this. I did not pass.


Never a bad time to bust out this link, imo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTRBU​n​jAgq8
 
2020-11-30 3:51:41 PM  

beezeltown: If you're going to just make shiat up for a living, seems like starting and operating a cult would be at least as lucrative and would come with fewer legal ramifications. Both cons are still dangerous and counterproductive.


Or maybe become a megachurch pastor. Then you get a tax shelter and first amendment protections from just about any government regulations.
 
2020-11-30 3:53:01 PM  

Jgok: Moroning: How       many  spaces    are            needed between            words?

It really seems like they took all of the spaces that were removed from the run-on words and randomly inserted them into the rest of the document.


The excess spaces seem to be the result of using full justification rather than left justification. No idea about the missing spaces, though.
 
2020-11-30 3:55:32 PM  

Gyrfalcon: austerity101: Becoming a lawyer is evidently a whole lot f*cking easier than I've ever been led to believe.

Also, I'm never going to beat myself up over my job performance, ever again.  I don't get paid enough to have to do that to myself, clearly.

These things continue to prove my belief that all one needs to do to pass the bar is blow the bar examiner.

I did not do this. I did not pass.


You mean they didn't tell you about the stapling a few hundred dollar bills to your essay book?
 
2020-11-30 3:56:41 PM  

BMulligan: Jgok: Moroning: How       many  spaces    are            needed between            words?

It really seems like they took all of the spaces that were removed from the run-on words and randomly inserted them into the rest of the document.

The excess spaces seem to be the result of using full justification rather than left justification. No idea about the missing spaces, though.


Word and page limits for filings?
 
2020-11-30 3:58:32 PM  

BMulligan: Jgok: Moroning: How       many  spaces    are            needed between            words?

It really seems like they took all of the spaces that were removed from the run-on words and randomly inserted them into the rest of the document.

The excess spaces seem to be the result of using full justification rather than left justification. No idea about the missing spaces, though.


Ah, I didn't even think about that. I have always wondered who uses full justification. The extra spacing just looks so stupid most of the time.
 
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