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(CNN)   Depression is real, and reaching out to family/friends isn't always in the cards. Also, in the US, the suicide prevention hotline is: 1-800-273-8255. (If this helps even one Farker, good.)   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: PSA, Suicide, Mental disorder, World Health Organization, monthly number of Japanese suicides, Anxiety, impact of pandemic measures, mental health struggles, Suicide in Japan  
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187 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 29 Nov 2020 at 6:50 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



34 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-11-28 9:05:22 PM  
Subby, thanks. It saved me once.
 
2020-11-28 9:10:03 PM  
Going through a 42 day residential psych stay for my oldest right now for self harm.

Take care of yourself...and each other.
 
2020-11-28 9:10:04 PM  
Turns out suicide-level depression looks like soft smiles and little jokes and doing just fine. It's ok to call for a friend, too.
 
2020-11-28 9:18:35 PM  
Chemical imbalances are hardly justified.

That said, I have this graphic saved on my phone for quick posting:
Fark user imageView Full Size


To be honest, I have really only tweeted it to people who have issues coming to grips with the fact Trump lost.
 
2020-11-28 9:51:54 PM  
I don't think anyone would pretend that depression isn't real. At least I hope they wouldn't.

And,no. Just cheer up isn't good advice
 
2020-11-28 9:56:03 PM  

TelemonianAjax: Going through a 42 day residential psych stay for my oldest right now for self harm.

Take care of yourself...and each other.


Talking Mrs tontine into going into a hospital was the hardest and best thing I ever did.
 
2020-11-28 9:59:45 PM  
There should be no stigma for those who need help.  Help is out there.  It's not weak to seek it out, in fact it's a very courageous move.
 
2020-11-28 10:20:31 PM  

dildo tontine: TelemonianAjax: Going through a 42 day residential psych stay for my oldest right now for self harm.

Take care of yourself...and each other.

Talking Mrs tontine into going into a hospital was the hardest and best thing I ever did.


Agreed.  We couldn't get through to someone we love, and had to rat them out to the cops.  This person hasn't forgiven us for forcing them into a residential facility, even if it kept them alive long enough for some medicine to work.  Watching them be subdued and following in the car to the intake was horrible.

We keep hoping things will get better.  Hope yours does as well.
 
2020-11-28 11:45:20 PM  
.
 
2020-11-29 1:01:35 AM  
I've been on an SSRI for a few weeks now and I'm definitely noticing the beginnings of a difference.  I should have sought help ten years ago, but I was stubborn.

Don't do what I did.
 
2020-11-29 2:47:16 AM  
Things got bad for me this year. I didn't try, but there was ... a very long hour where I stared down from the bridge thinking how much easier it would be if I just wasn't, anymore.

I won't say things have improved much. But I'm not, at least in this moment, thinking that way.

I want you to know that I don't blame you. Anyone. You have the right to decide for your own sake that you're done. I wouldn't begrudge you that, because I promise, I understand.

But there are things in this life worth living for. Experiences worth having. You can be light to someone else, even if you don't have any left for yourself.

... Which is why I didn't jump. My existence, as much as it hurts me sometimes... makes someone else hurt less. I can go a little further.
 
2020-11-29 3:15:29 AM  
There was a show or maybe a documentary about the people that killed thsmelves on the Golden gate Bridge. Every. Single. Person that survived said they regretted the choice the INSTANT they jumped.

Always remember that. It's powerful. No matter how bad you feel or how determined you are... the instant you do it, you'll regret it and realize your problems re not that big. Seriously. Nothing is inescapable. You can overcome anything. Don't do it. Call someone. Things will be ok tomorrow. I promise
 
2020-11-29 3:27:08 AM  
Bookmark for those wee hours of the morning where I could use a Fark thread like this.

/thanks Farkers
 
2020-11-29 3:28:29 AM  

bobtheme: I've been on an SSRI for a few weeks now and I'm definitely noticing the beginnings of a difference.  I should have sought help ten years ago, but I was stubborn.

Don't do what I did.


Sounds like my dad,

So stubborn, ultimately refused to treat a preventive cancer and it killed him.

/ pride kills, ironically it's my dad who would always tell me not to get a big head.

/Best of luck on your journey, depression does get better, in time.
 
2020-11-29 6:11:01 AM  

cretinbob: Chemical imbalances are hardly justified.

That said, I have this graphic saved on my phone for quick posting:
[Fark user image image 425x469]

To be honest, I have really only tweeted it to people who have issues coming to grips with the fact Trump lost.


You know a lot of people who work in cable news?
 
2020-11-29 7:01:51 AM  

Calypsocookie: Bookmark for those wee hours of the morning where I could use a Fark thread like this.

/thanks Farkers


I'm at ultrafark if you need an ear.  I've definitely looked down the barrel of a gun, so to speak.
 
2020-11-29 7:21:41 AM  

W_Scarlet: Things got bad for me this year. I didn't try, but there was ... a very long hour where I stared down from the bridge thinking how much easier it would be if I just wasn't, anymore.

I won't say things have improved much. But I'm not, at least in this moment, thinking that way.

I want you to know that I don't blame you. Anyone. You have the right to decide for your own sake that you're done. I wouldn't begrudge you that, because I promise, I understand.

But there are things in this life worth living for. Experiences worth having. You can be light to someone else, even if you don't have any left for yourself.

... Which is why I didn't jump. My existence, as much as it hurts me sometimes... makes someone else hurt less. I can go a little further.


This, ladies and gentlemen, is heroism.
 
2020-11-29 8:18:54 AM  

Gubbo: I don't think anyone would pretend that depression isn't real. At least I hope they wouldn't.

And,no. Just cheer up isn't good advice


A lot of people don't/didn't understand it.  Young me didn't, not at all.  I had the perfect childhood, lots of friends, caring parents, tolerant teachers, I was male, so I was given plenty of freedom to express myself, every possible opportunity was handed to me, my mistakes were forgiven and even chuckled about, the consequences for my failure were light, there was always a safety net within my middle class white bubble where I was insulated from the world.  I was just the type of big brained know it all who would say "just cheer up."

I'm not blaming people like young me for not believing in depression.  They have no point of reference, it's only a thought exercise for them.  They really won't believe in it until it happens to them, like it did to me, when something finally tears you down, that you start to doubt yourself, and have to deal with more than your safety net can handle, when your very own brain betrays you.

This is the thought exercise I use to describe my depression.  Nearly half of your brain is full of all the knowlege, ideas, shining excellence that you've accumulated in your experience on earth. This half of your brain knows exactly what's happening, and the steps to climb out of the hole that you're in. The slightly larger half of your brain is saying "don't care, can't cope with that right now, I'll just lie here until I eventually die."  Both halves of your brain are very real.

It's taken me decades to slowly reprogram my brain through a series of baby steps, to where the bright half of my brain is in charge.  I'm not sure the depressed part of my brain will ever be entirely gone.  I regress once in a while, and have to remind myself that's just part of the deal, and my coping strategies will cope with everything I'm capable of coping with on any given day.

I hope the non believers never experience depression, and for them it's always a thought exercise, but one they believe in.  I hope the non-believers will take action to provide more opportunities and treat everyone like decent people, that they stop tilting the playing field against whole classes of people.  I hope they can learn to be empathetic for other people, who aren't like them, rather than authoritarian judgmental pricks. Learning about the rough parts of the world an internalizing the plight of others is a better use of your big brain.  We need to lose our naivete and look around us.
 
2020-11-29 8:43:23 AM  
There is a text number out there as well so that those who are not comfortable talking on the phone to someone, can text someone.

Fark user imageView Full Size


I just had my antidepressant/anti-anxiety medication upped, and still haven't noticed a difference, so I've been taking my St John's Wort as well (yes I know there is a thing called Seratonin Syndrome).

Being laid off for almost a year now (firm cleared their bench, then COVID, and making it to final rounds of a lot of interviews to have the job pulled or not hearing back, etc...) while I just closed on a house I built from the ground up (well the builders did) on Jan 1, 2020, so now I am burning through savings, going through a shiatty break-up, losing the best friend I had...it's not easy sometimes.

I put up tons of Christmas lights to help (on like Nov. 1st), starting after Thanksgiving I've left the Hallmark Channel on a lot and avoided the news and other potential bring-me-downers, looking at getting a puppy (went out to Amish country to visit him last Saturday, but he was too young to take home)

It's always important to remember those that care about you, family, friends, even online people like other Farkers and think of them before you do something drastic and permanent. You could be the person keeping them sane even if you don't know it, plus those of us who still have parents alive no parent wants to bury their kid.

Hang in there all!
 
2020-11-29 9:29:41 AM  

Gubbo: I don't think anyone would pretend that depression isn't real. At least I hope they wouldn't.

And,no. Just cheer up isn't good advice


I've heard it. Why are you depressed, you have a great career/wife/etc. That was from my father, and that hurt.

I reminded him of a high school friend of his. Devout Jehovah's Witness, pacifist to the core. Drafted for Vietnam, they rejected his conscientious objector application. Join the Army or go to jail. He shot himself the day the were coming to get him.

Did he want to die? Nah. Did the demons tell him that was the only way to honor his faith? Yes.
 
2020-11-29 9:51:43 AM  

Cubansaltyballs: There was a show or maybe a documentary about the people that killed thsmelves on the Golden gate Bridge. Every. Single. Person that survived said they regretted the choice the INSTANT they jumped.

Always remember that. It's powerful. No matter how bad you feel or how determined you are... the instant you do it, you'll regret it and realize your problems re not that big. Seriously. Nothing is inescapable. You can overcome anything. Don't do it. Call someone. Things will be ok tomorrow. I promise


That's kind of a small and skewed sample.

I mean, we can't ask the people who succeeded.
 
2020-11-29 10:17:11 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: Cubansaltyballs: There was a show or maybe a documentary about the people that killed thsmelves on the Golden gate Bridge. Every. Single. Person that survived said they regretted the choice the INSTANT they jumped.

Always remember that. It's powerful. No matter how bad you feel or how determined you are... the instant you do it, you'll regret it and realize your problems re not that big. Seriously. Nothing is inescapable. You can overcome anything. Don't do it. Call someone. Things will be ok tomorrow. I promise

That's kind of a small and skewed sample.

I mean, we can't ask the people who succeeded.


This is true.

The eldest son of a friend of mine killed himself. I barely knew the son, to be honest, but I know the father well. He was asking in his grief the eternal question- why, why, why. My response, as someone who has been there, is that from the outside, from a place where we aren't living their life, we often can't truly understand.
 
2020-11-29 10:49:18 AM  
it's not 'i want to die'
it's 'i don't want to experience this anymore'

sometimes literally ANYTHING is preferable to The Blackness.
 
2020-11-29 10:51:13 AM  

Thank You Black Jesus!: it's not 'i want to die'
it's 'i don't want to experience this anymore'

sometimes literally ANYTHING is preferable to The Blackness.


Yep.

I've been in that hole. 12 gauge shotgun in one hand, bottle of whisky in the other at 2am, in my third night of insomnia, begging God, Satan, the Great Pumpkin, whoever, to either give me the strength to pull the trigger or to keep going another day.

The one thing that stopped me? My wife coughed in her sleep. I couldn't do that to her.
 
2020-11-29 12:34:08 PM  
Suicide is an option for anyone at anytime. There is no race, gender, sexual orientation, social class, economic class, that removes it as an option.

Some of those things can be protective factors but it is always there for all of us.

So when you say _______ is _______ there is no way they would commit suicide, you are possibly removing yourself as an option to help them.

My point is to just be there for your friends and family and don't assume they are OK,  actually talk to them and engage with them in meaningful conversation on a regular basis not just pizza and beer talk.

Lastly, its not your job to be the strong one for everyone all the time in your life. Sometimes we all need help and letting others help you when you need it, is a great way to show them it is OK to ask for help themselves.
 
2020-11-29 12:41:26 PM  

cherryl taggart: dildo tontine: TelemonianAjax: Going through a 42 day residential psych stay for my oldest right now for self harm.

Take care of yourself...and each other.

Talking Mrs tontine into going into a hospital was the hardest and best thing I ever did.

Agreed.  We couldn't get through to someone we love, and had to rat them out to the cops.  This person hasn't forgiven us for forcing them into a residential facility, even if it kept them alive long enough for some medicine to work.  Watching them be subdued and following in the car to the intake was horrible.

We keep hoping things will get better.  Hope yours does as well.


glad to read you used good sense and helped them. those in the throes of depression or in need of mental health counseling don't always respond well to hints or being told outright they need to seek help.

i hope the day will come when every community has an outreach number or site. way too many people need help. try to remain patient with those in your life. do what it takes to get people help. don't blow off odd balls or severe personalities as 'just assholes'. sometimes a little professional help and/or medication can make a huge difference. when the patient is stabilized they will be thrilled to have their life, their world, handed back to them.
 
2020-11-29 1:40:58 PM  

Cubansaltyballs: There was a show or maybe a documentary about the people that killed thsmelves on the Golden gate Bridge. Every. Single. Person that survived said they regretted the choice the INSTANT they jumped.


I lived in Santa Rosa for 20 years, about 80 miles north of the Golden Gate Bridge. Knew a guy with a family friend, 12 years old, jump off the Bridge. He was absolutely obsessed with her.

He was a hair stylist and he cut my hair for a Locks of Love charity, making wigs for children. Cut hair in bundles longer than 10", then give me a regular haircut. (I've donated 5 times so far).

Anyway, when I was at his house, while he was cutting my hair he kept talking about her ghost being in the room. Sure enough the lights flickered, "There she is!" but his house was old. And he never explained why this young girl, who jumped off the bridge, would be haunting hishouse.  Eww.

Anyway, one night dude calls up, mentions he knows I have a video camera and a public access TV series people watched (I videotaped and aired raves for 5 years) and he asked me to film him jumping off the GGB, and make it into a story about his life and people jumping off the bridge, like his friend that haunts his house. Now, I knew he was terminally I'll. His doctor told him he'd be dead in 2 years if he didn't quit partying, but still dead in 3 years if he didn't.

So, under normal circumstances, if another human being called me on the phone talking about suicide, I would address that directly. Sometimes a "cry for help" is a need for attention, and not necessarily a precursor to self-harm. But it very easily could be, so it is important to take the situation seriously. But my grandfather told me a story about an old man that wanted to buy a gun to kill himself, but all his neighbors knew he was a cheapskate so they asked an absurd price for their gun. "Bah! I'm not paying that much!"

Anyway, when dude asks me to film his suicide, I play it off like, "Gee, I don't think my rave viewers would want to watch somebody kill themself..." and I talk about how hard it is trying to get into the music video business as it is, trying to create a professional persona. "I mean, what kind of person films somebody jumping off a bridge? I'd be getting job offers from the kind of people I never want to meet." I wasn't being callous exactly, just not feeding into his drama, while also repeating variations of how [filming] his suicide would negatively impact my life. Then he offered me money.

Same county, before I moved away, I did a bunch construction and electrical work for pot farm, who decided not not pay me. After I moved I emailed one of the partners trying to see when I would get paid. His response consisted only of a 1-800 number, the suicide hotline. During that last big wildfire, that property completely burned down. I saw footage of the razed buildings on the tv news. That's what they get for messing with the Spice, sending me suicide threats. Is that even a thing?
 
2020-11-29 2:02:37 PM  
I bartended in a small town, maybe 25k, and knew three regulars who had held their dying husband after he killed himself. Two had shot themselves. All three of those ladies drank a lot, but I don't know how they drank prior. One of them drowned while intoxicated at the local hot springs last year, and another always posts on Facebook about depression and suicide awareness.

More than once, usually when they were the only one in the bar, each of these ladies has described in detail all the emotions involved in holding a dying spouse, bleeding out. Then they cry on my shoulder for a long time, and I can never think of anything to say. Then I offer to play their favorite song on the jukebox, and not just as an excuse to get away. It is sad how many of my regulars, in that tiny bar, shared the same tragedy.
 
2020-11-29 2:18:07 PM  

bobtheme: I've been on an SSRI for a few weeks now and I'm definitely noticing the beginnings of a difference.  I should have sought help ten years ago, but I was stubborn.

Don't do what I did.


I did the same, but for even longer. I was so unnecessarily suspicious of SSRIs it blows my mind. Just such reckless self-frustrating ignorant stubbornness.
 
2020-11-29 5:26:44 PM  

ryant123: bobtheme: I've been on an SSRI for a few weeks now and I'm definitely noticing the beginnings of a difference.  I should have sought help ten years ago, but I was stubborn.

Don't do what I did.

I did the same, but for even longer. I was so unnecessarily suspicious of SSRIs it blows my mind. Just such reckless self-frustrating ignorant stubbornness.


A lot of people are afraid of medication affecting who they essentially are. The drugs aren't that powerful. Some might make you feel some negative way, flat or zombie-like, but you'll be aware of it, and if that is the case then you may need to try a different one, or a different dose, and this is where good psychiatric help comes in handy.

The drugs themselves don't do a lot, but they might just do enough. Don't dismiss them, life is hard, take all the help you can get.
 
2020-11-29 7:24:48 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: That's kind of a small and skewed sample.

I mean, we can't ask the people who succeeded.


I know of other instances not at the GGB. I used to work at a place that a few people jumped off of. All that jumped died. I remember seeing the video of one who was going to jump or threatening to jump, slipped at started trying to claw her way back, but it was too late.

I think my point is, small sample or not... a lot of people regret the choice once they've crossed the point of no return. I think that's worth something to anyone seriously considering it. Look... might seem like a great idea, but you will regret the nanosecond you cross the line. Don't do it.
 
2020-11-30 4:06:12 AM  
Have you people ever really called one of those numbers? It's not like having a conversation with a real human, they don't engage, they don't say anything. I guess their trained to be so neutral I find the people manning these hotlines to be the most infuriating brick wall NPC's who have the audacity to advertise and posture themselves as "here to help". These services are a joke
 
2020-11-30 12:35:59 PM  
It is hard not to be depressed in this pandemic, but yeah this will help the depressed.
 
2020-11-30 5:22:29 PM  

Panatheist: Have you people ever really called one of those numbers? It's not like having a conversation with a real human, they don't engage, they don't say anything. I guess their trained to be so neutral I find the people manning these hotlines to be the most infuriating brick wall NPC's who have the audacity to advertise and posture themselves as "here to help". These services are a joke


I'm sorry to hear that.

I've called the Australian one, only once, and the service was satisfactory, I can't comment on yours. Though I'm not sure how much they can really "help" as much as offer an ear to people who have reached breaking point. Sometimes all you need to do is get people through the next half-hour and the urge to self annihilate will pass a peak-point and the person may be able to get back to sort-of-functional mode. I don't think these help lines are meant to be replacements for actual therapist care.

I also suppose the quality of the service is bound to be down to the quality of the individual you end up with on the phone. Every now and then an emergency number operator hits the news for being outrageously bad. Humans are never perfect, although some miss the mark more than others.

I'd kind of prefer to think you simply had some rotten luck in phone operators than think the whole system is terrible, people use these lines a lot. Alternatively if the service sucks, someone in charge needs to be told and it needs fixing.
 
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