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(Daily Star)   "That's not a knife, this is a knife" ... pizza edition (possible nsfw content on page)   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line
    More: Amusing, Crime, Touhid Rahman, Robbery, police officer, distinctive pair of shoes, time of the incident, police report, court today  
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4103 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Nov 2020 at 1:14 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



36 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-11-27 1:17:37 PM  
Hilarious.

/I see you haven't played knifey spoony before...
 
2020-11-27 1:21:58 PM  
Alevarothen chased Rahman out of the restaurant, yelling "What do you want, what do you want?"

That's fkkn hilarious.

There's more in tfa, but that had me rolling.
 
2020-11-27 1:29:22 PM  
September. maybe they had spring fever.
 
2020-11-27 1:31:49 PM  
That's a spoon
 
2020-11-27 1:34:37 PM  

Tchernobog: Hilarious.

/I see you haven't played knifey spoony before...


Ummm about that...
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2020-11-27 1:35:31 PM  
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All edge, no point?
 
2020-11-27 1:38:16 PM  
Pic of said shopowner

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-11-27 1:38:35 PM  
Hahaha.
Actually a chef knife doesn't beat a good paring knife as far as wanting to murder somebody
Actually I think paring knife is not the word I'm looking for.
Basically short and strong beats big in flexible
 
2020-11-27 1:47:48 PM  

waxbeans: Hahaha.
Actually a chef knife doesn't beat a good paring knife as far as wanting to murder somebody
Actually I think paring knife is not the word I'm looking for.
Basically short and strong beats big in flexible


... that's just what she told you to make you feel better. Check the bedside table, and you'll find a big ole meat cleaver
 
2020-11-27 1:49:30 PM  
As he was arrested , says the police report, Rahman shouted that the restaurant staff had "laced his pizza with cocaine."

And the phones haven't stopped ringing since.
 
2020-11-27 1:52:49 PM  

waxbeans: Hahaha.
Actually a chef knife doesn't beat a good paring knife as far as wanting to murder somebody
Actually I think paring knife is not the word I'm looking for.
Basically short and strong beats big in flexible


So, you don't know what a chef knife is...
 
2020-11-27 1:54:10 PM  

redonkulon: Tchernobog: Hilarious.

/I see you haven't played knifey spoony before...

Ummm about that...
[Fark user image 425x325] [View Full Size image _x_]
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For some reason I think that could fit in one gif.
 
2020-11-27 1:59:49 PM  
Didn't see a damn thing on that page, except that, apparently, J.Lo took some recent tasteful nudes.

Don't get me wrong, the page loaded fine, but I got distracted.
 
2020-11-27 2:01:18 PM  

Greylight: Pic of said shopowner

[Fark user image 222x227]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-11-27 2:02:25 PM  

Ghost Roach: waxbeans: Hahaha.
Actually a chef knife doesn't beat a good paring knife as far as wanting to murder somebody
Actually I think paring knife is not the word I'm looking for.
Basically short and strong beats big in flexible

... that's just what she told you to make you feel better. Check the bedside table, and you'll find a big ole meat cleaver


Hahaha 😀😆

A short knife is less likely to snap during a burst of stabs.
A cleaver  requires much more brute strength and accuracy.
Rapid fire with a short strong knife is going to be much more likely to cause death than a few big wackes .
Basically I take my chances with an ice pick ala Basic Instinct versus a big clumsy chef knife.
YMMV
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
2020-11-27 2:04:32 PM  

chitownmike: waxbeans: Hahaha.
Actually a chef knife doesn't beat a good paring knife as far as wanting to murder somebody
Actually I think paring knife is not the word I'm looking for.
Basically short and strong beats big in flexible

So, you don't know what a chef knife is...


Considering I actually went to cooking school I know exactly what a shift knife is and I would not use a shift knife to murder someone.
I'm thinking something more like paring knife but shorter and stronger.

Hell maybe even a really strong potato peeler probably do better than a chef knife in a combat situation.
 
2020-11-27 2:07:30 PM  
If your chefs knife is flexible you need a new chefs knife
 
2020-11-27 2:10:03 PM  

waxbeans: Basically I take my chances with an ice pick ala Basic Instinct versus a big clumsy chef knife.
YMMV
¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Your
Murders? Meat-cleaver?
May
Vary
 
2020-11-27 2:14:42 PM  
*Sigh* and now I'm reminded I still need a Kukri in the inventory.
 
2020-11-27 2:15:08 PM  

pastramithemosterotic: If your chefs knife is flexible you need a new chefs knife


Or maybe you're misinterpreting flexible I'm saying flexible relatively speaking I have a steak knife that is much more stiff than most chef knives.
But I'm sure when you think steak knife you're thinking cheap and flimsy.
 
2020-11-27 2:15:50 PM  

waxbeans: Ghost Roach: waxbeans: Hahaha.
Actually a chef knife doesn't beat a good paring knife as far as wanting to murder somebody
Actually I think paring knife is not the word I'm looking for.
Basically short and strong beats big in flexible

... that's just what she told you to make you feel better. Check the bedside table, and you'll find a big ole meat cleaver

Hahaha 😀😆

A short knife is less likely to snap during a burst of stabs.
A cleaver  requires much more brute strength and accuracy.
Rapid fire with a short strong knife is going to be much more likely to cause death than a few big wackes .
Basically I take my chances with an ice pick ala Basic Instinct versus a big clumsy chef knife.
YMMV
¯\_(ツ)_/¯


I would choose a gun.
 
2020-11-27 2:27:14 PM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size


4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
2020-11-27 2:27:17 PM  

bfh0417: waxbeans: Ghost Roach: waxbeans: Hahaha.
Actually a chef knife doesn't beat a good paring knife as far as wanting to murder somebody
Actually I think paring knife is not the word I'm looking for.
Basically short and strong beats big in flexible

... that's just what she told you to make you feel better. Check the bedside table, and you'll find a big ole meat cleaver

Hahaha 😀😆

A short knife is less likely to snap during a burst of stabs.
A cleaver  requires much more brute strength and accuracy.
Rapid fire with a short strong knife is going to be much more likely to cause death than a few big wackes .
Basically I take my chances with an ice pick ala Basic Instinct versus a big clumsy chef knife.
YMMV
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I would choose a gun.


i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-11-27 2:28:34 PM  

Ambitwistor: bfh0417: waxbeans: Ghost Roach: waxbeans: Hahaha.
Actually a chef knife doesn't beat a good paring knife as far as wanting to murder somebody
Actually I think paring knife is not the word I'm looking for.
Basically short and strong beats big in flexible

... that's just what she told you to make you feel better. Check the bedside table, and you'll find a big ole meat cleaver

Hahaha 😀😆

A short knife is less likely to snap during a burst of stabs.
A cleaver  requires much more brute strength and accuracy.
Rapid fire with a short strong knife is going to be much more likely to cause death than a few big wackes .
Basically I take my chances with an ice pick ala Basic Instinct versus a big clumsy chef knife.
YMMV
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I would choose a gun.

[i.ytimg.com image 850x478]


HE HAD TO POOP
 
2020-11-27 2:34:04 PM  
"... Rahman ...
He added that he was the most famous person on the planet, and that he was the star of a hit reality TV show."

I don't know about Rahman, the man, but his noodles are pretty well known
 
2020-11-27 2:38:04 PM  

Nobody in Peculiar: "... Rahman ...
He added that he was the most famous person on the planet, and that he was the star of a hit reality TV show."

I don't know about Rahman, the man, but his noodles are pretty well known


He made huge contributions to applied physics and spectroscopy, too!

/meth is a helluva drug
 
2020-11-27 2:38:09 PM  

Vlad_the_Inaner: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 365x138]

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 228x262]


We had something similar at Chuck E Cheeses back in the day. It was like a machete with a grip on the end.
 
2020-11-27 2:53:13 PM  

waxbeans: chitownmike: waxbeans: Hahaha.
Actually a chef knife doesn't beat a good paring knife as far as wanting to murder somebody
Actually I think paring knife is not the word I'm looking for.
Basically short and strong beats big in flexible

So, you don't know what a chef knife is...

Considering I actually went to cooking school I know exactly what a shift knife is and I would not use a shift knife to murder someone.
I'm thinking something more like paring knife but shorter and stronger.

Hell maybe even a really strong potato peeler probably do better than a chef knife in a combat situation.


Ok
 
2020-11-27 2:54:50 PM  

bluenovaman: Vlad_the_Inaner: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 365x138]

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 228x262]

We had something similar at Chuck E Cheeses back in the day. It was like a machete with a grip on the end.


Used to dismember lost and unruly children.
 
2020-11-27 4:11:29 PM  

chitownmike: waxbeans: chitownmike: waxbeans: Hahaha.
Actually a chef knife doesn't beat a good paring knife as far as wanting to murder somebody
Actually I think paring knife is not the word I'm looking for.
Basically short and strong beats big in flexible

So, you don't know what a chef knife is...

Considering I actually went to cooking school I know exactly what a shift knife is and I would not use a shift knife to murder someone.
I'm thinking something more like paring knife but shorter and stronger.

Hell maybe even a really strong potato peeler probably do better than a chef knife in a combat situation.

Ok


Don't take my word. It's online.
 
2020-11-27 4:16:41 PM  
Balaclava?

fifteenspatulas.comView Full Size


Mmm.... baklava...
 
2020-11-27 5:31:10 PM  
When two Knife Fighters fight, one is killed and the other is mortally wounded
 
2020-11-27 6:53:29 PM  
Slackers
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-11-27 8:48:48 PM  
(possible nsfw content on page)

You always say that and I'm always disappointed.
 
2020-11-28 4:28:41 AM  

zepillin: When two Knife Fighters fight, one is killed and the other is mortally wounded


The Indonesian version of the saying is "One is charcoal. The other is ash."
 
2020-11-28 4:32:13 AM  
Pulling a knife on a cook in his own kitchen. Someone isn't the sharpest marble in the bag. Puts me in mind of a Darwin Award from many years ago...

12 February 2003) Three men wielding knives tried to rob a slaughterhouse. But when it comes to hand to hand combat with sharp blades, butchers working in a slaughterhouse are more than a match for your average thief. They stabbed two of the intruders to death. The third man escaped from the angry butchers and fled in his car.
Police soon spotted him, and after a brief car chase, the would-be thief pulled over and leapt from his vehicle. But instead of fleeing into the underbrush, he tried to dodge heavy traffic and escape across the highway. Perhaps he thought that threatening butchers with knives was not a sufficient demonstration of his intelligence.
Within seconds, the natural justice system meted out his punishment in the form of a large truck, which struck and killed him.
 
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