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(BGR)   And what was your Thanksgiving food item you ruined...or you cooked it to perfection but everybody hated it anyway   (bgr.com) divider line
    More: Fail, Food, English-language films, Malcolm McDowell, Vegetarian cuisine, American films, lot of people, Casserole, American cuisine  
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202 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 27 Nov 2020 at 3:50 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-11-27 12:20:38 AM  
Huh.
Well I made a cake to take up to my grandmother's ages ago. It is a seriously ugly cake, as-is. Not one person took a single bite of it. So. Drove back down to my mothers with the family and set it on the counter. I was not having good feels. My sister came up and told our mother, I know if she made it,it's good. She cut a slice. Was like, wow. Then my dad had to dig in. The whole thing was gone in about 30 minutes.

/pride restored.

It's like an apple fritter. Ugly, but tasty.

https://sweetnicks.com/2015/10/recipe​-​cinnamon-apple-cake-cooking-light/
 
2020-11-27 1:12:00 AM  
I had been cooking since I was eight or so, I was a Latchkey Kid. I could fix simple dishes, I was perfectly competent but, dull. I didn't know how to utilize spices or how they could make food better.

I'm a damn good cook now but man, the first few Thanksgiving spreads I cooked were so bland your tastebuds would die of neglect. If I had to describe them it would be, 'tastes grey'. Not sure I'll ever atone for the sheer blandness. But I got better!
 
2020-11-27 1:40:46 AM  
Fark user imageMike Wehner has reported on technology and video games for the past decade, covering breaking news and trends in VR, wearables, smartphones, and future tech. Most recently, Mike served as Tech Editor at The Daily Dot, and has been featured in USA Today, Time.com, and countless other web and print outlets. His love of reporting is second only to his gaming addiction.

So he's been a reporter since he was about 5 years old?
 
2020-11-27 1:47:46 AM  
My daughter made an apple pie that called for lemon zest. She didn't like it. In fact almost nobody but me liked it.

/leftovers
//lots
 
2020-11-27 1:57:37 AM  

Exluddite: [Fark user image image 81x81]Mike Wehner has reported on technology and video games for the past decade, covering breaking news and trends in VR, wearables, smartphones, and future tech. Most recently, Mike served as Tech Editor at The Daily Dot, and has been featured in USA Today, Time.com, and countless other web and print outlets. His love of reporting is second only to his gaming addiction.

So he's been a reporter since he was about 5 years old?


Did your username fall off the wagon or something?
 
2020-11-27 4:22:51 AM  
My mom made a turkey pot pie one year with the leftovers and mixed up salt and sugar in the crust (grabbed the wrong jar). The result was inedible, the crust was like really dry playdough that tasted like a salt lick.
 
2020-11-27 5:37:51 AM  
The in-laws ruined basically everything, rendering even the turkey nearly inedible, and still served it like nothing was the matter and expressed mock anger when we didn't go back for seconds. Even though the first go around just to be polite nearly made us sick.

I still can't make sense of that kind of mindset. If I had ruined it as bad as they did I'd be way too ashamed to serve it, I'd have to either start over or cancel the event with sincere apologies.

The stuffing was a soup for crying out loud!
 
2020-11-27 5:43:28 AM  
Mrs. Skyking made a mole sauce for the turkey.  I didn't care for chocolate turkey meat.  Tamales were on point!
 
2020-11-27 6:37:15 AM  
Not ruined, but my stuffing recipe calls for the blue bag of Pepperidge Farms stuffing. I swear every year it gets more and more like powder, not pieces of bread. Still tasted good, but was lacking a good mouth feel.

Need to figure out a replacement before next year.
 
2020-11-27 7:13:05 AM  
Perennial joke at my parents' house. The Thanksgiving that nobody ate the beets. One hour into the meal. Everybody is roly-poly. Olds are drinking wine. The pie tins are empty. My sisters are off arguing somewhere. Suddenly my father exclaims, "Where's the beets?" (They were still in the oven.) "Nobody touched the beets!" (Nobody in my family liked beets.) And so the next 15 minutes had low level grumbling. "Nobody touched the beets!"

In later years, the phrase became the tag line when some mistake occurred in doing something nobody cared about.

In my wife's family the equivalent dish was baked pears. The family farm had a pair of pear trees by a gate in a decorative fence. Every Thanksgiving an elderly relative would make baked pears from them. The pears were a nasty variety. Hard as rocks even after being cooked to death. They had a vague medicinal taste even after being smothered in sugar and some spice that turned noxious. I always set next to the old lady who made them and would make a show of taking a spoonful, eating it, and then smooshing the rest around my plate.
 
2020-11-27 7:15:33 AM  
Tofurkey.
 
2020-11-27 7:23:19 AM  
When the Farkadark families used to get together, bread was one of the things I was asked to bring. I would spend considerable time making several different kinds (buttermilk biscuits, loaves, sourdough, rolls etc) for a large group of people. Then other people started bringing the blandest of white bread they picked up at the gas station on the way over. Somehow that was eaten while mine was untouched. Since then I have politely refused to make bread for my family for any reason
 
2020-11-27 7:28:50 AM  

robodog: My mom made a turkey pot pie one year with the leftovers and mixed up salt and sugar in the crust (grabbed the wrong jar). The result was inedible, the crust was like really dry playdough that tasted like a salt lick.


Why is she putting sugar in a savoury crust anyway? Sounds rank either way.
 
2020-11-27 8:11:49 AM  

desertfool: Not ruined, but my stuffing recipe calls for the blue bag of Pepperidge Farms stuffing. I swear every year it gets more and more like powder, not pieces of bread. Still tasted good, but was lacking a good mouth feel.

Need to figure out a replacement before next year.


The blue bag makes for an awesome casarole topping. It is way better than the oily canned fried onions on the green beans. You can use it on almost any casarole, just add during the last 5-10 minutes of cooking. You can butter it but that is not necessary.
 
2020-11-27 8:41:06 AM  
I've a relative who overcooks everything, believes she's the best cook ever and really adores entertaining, focusing on making everything look really pretty.  So, she'll overbrown the turkey so it looks gorgeous, throws away the pan juices, and serves buckets of bland canned gravy.  She insists on serving twice as much food as needed, buying and burning the most expensive cuts of beef and ham, and drying them to well past well done, expecting the canned gravy to rescue the meal.

She'll also whine about how much everything cost, decline assistance in money, or even in allowing others to bring a portion of the food.  I once brought a few homemade pies, they went first, and was told, "do not bring pies" the next year.

"Dried martyr meals" are the worst kind of meals.  I had to come up with all sorts of creative excuses to avoid her parties.
 
2020-11-27 9:05:07 AM  
I've been cooking Thanksgiving dinner for my family every year for almost 20 years now...usually between 15-20 people.  This is the first year that I've done it for my immediate family...just the three of us.

With a smaller turkey and quantity adjustments to all of the sides, etc. I found that my timings were off.  Where I usually started cooking at 8:00 AM, I now found myself nervously watching the clock approach noon before putting the bird in the oven.  I know this is dumb...we have turkey on days other than Thanksgiving and I have no problem cooking then.  Yesterday, something just didn't feel right.
 
2020-11-27 9:38:49 AM  
I borked my prime rib.  Pulled it out of the oven rare, then found out I didn't have any aluminum foil.  So I put a large glass bowl over it while it rested.  20 minutes later the damned thing had risen to medium done.

Still tasty, but nowhere near as tasty as it should have been.
 
2020-11-27 9:40:08 AM  
Stuffing should not be gooey mush. I've fought this battle my entire marriage. My wife is normally a very fine cook, but she likes it that way because it was what she grew up with. I offered to make the stuffing last year and really went all out to make it good, but no one ate it because it wasn't the warm bread slime they are accustomed to.
 
2020-11-27 10:16:51 AM  
Wife made this brussels spouts dish wth cranberries. It smelled good. It looked good. It tasted like brussels spouts.

/I hate brussels spouts
 
2020-11-27 10:39:22 AM  
Hard Boiled Eggs Chopped up in Dressing
I am pretty sure this happened because my sister wanted to surprise her husband with a homecooked meal. She is not a cook. And he, thinking that she doesn't cook, decided to prank her in answering questions about what his mom cooks. But, she chopped up several hard boiled eggs to cook in the dressing swearing up and down that was how is mom did it. It was like random rubbery bits in decent dressing. We were all siting around the table quietly chewing and being polite, but it was obviously weird. When I was invited to the inlaws the next year for Thanksgiving, there were no eggy bits and it has never been mentioned again.


Microwaved Rolls
My sister's MIL makes homemade rolls that are quite nummy. Sadly, one year FIL decided to help by warming up the rolls... by zapping them in the microwave for 2 minutes. The rolls became rocks. They were not edible, everyone was pissed at him XD


Stringy Pumpkin Pie
My mother, bless her heart, decided to be industrious one year and turn our Halloween pumpkin into made from scratch pies. It was enough to make three big pies. Once everyone took a bite... the texture was stringy. She had decided that pureeing the pumpkin was a waste of time and didn't do it. They were perfectly tasty but no one would eat them except me. So, I scored 3 pies and she never tried that again.

Mom Burning the Rolls
My mother buys frozen bread dough and then lets it rise for 7 hours. It makes incredibly light and airy rolls that are super tasty. However, the last few years she tends to get overwhelmed in the kitchen and forgets them... and a pan or two out of 5, will scorch. So one year I gave the nephews a speech that they had the most important job in the house. Making sure the rolls don't burn. She was a little miffed at first but now she goes with it XD
 
2020-11-27 10:41:54 AM  
Canadian Thanksgiving
We were to have jello mixed with ice cream.  We called in Bavarian Creme but it wasn't that at all.  It was usually delicious though.
My sister made a bunch of strawberry jello and asked me to go to the store to get the ice creme.
I wasn't paying attention and bought chocolate ice cream instead of the required vanilla flavor.
My sister mixed it anyway and the result looked like diarrhea in a bowl.
So much so that when she brought it to the table she hid it behind her ass, made the sound of a wet fart and put it on the table.
At least everyone laughed. It didn't taste that bad as well.
 
2020-11-27 10:46:12 AM  

Vhale: Huh.
Well I made a cake to take up to my grandmother's ages ago. It is a seriously ugly cake, as-is. Not one person took a single bite of it. So. Drove back down to my mothers with the family and set it on the counter. I was not having good feels. My sister came up and told our mother, I know if she made it,it's good. She cut a slice. Was like, wow. Then my dad had to dig in. The whole thing was gone in about 30 minutes.

/pride restored.

It's like an apple fritter. Ugly, but tasty.

https://sweetnicks.com/2015/10/recipe-​cinnamon-apple-cake-cooking-light/


I mean, i didn't expect it to look that bad. It's a "if my dog was ugly as you, i'd shave his butt and teach him to walk backwards" level of ugly. I wonder if whipped cream on top would help? Or maybe keep some of the batter mixture separate before the apples, and pour it on top. Looks like a good recipe, i look forward to trying it. Thanks for sharing!
 
2020-11-27 10:55:24 AM  
20 lb turkey cooked all day indirectly in a weber kettle. Ever6body went on a booze cruise. It caught on fire shortly after we left. Burned 2 inches in. Dad carving it sounded like sawing a board and you could really, really taste the burn...
 
2020-11-27 11:06:48 AM  
Many years ago, a relative on my wife's side died early on Thanksgiving week.  We usually had Thanksgiving dinner at our house, and all the ingredients were already purchased. My wife and her family go down to "the country" for the funeral.  This leaves me, our two kids, and a bro-in-law, with one kid.  I decide I will go ahead and make everything.  Giant Thanksgiving meal, for 2 adults and 3 kids.  Everything went great, except I left the rolls in the oven.  Smoke alarm goes off, I go in the kitchen, get the rolls out of the oven, then just throw the whole pan out in the driveway, in the snow.  After our dinner, I completely clean up, run the dishes through the dishwasher, and think I have everything pristine, before my wife comes home.  It was a personal mission for me.  My wife gets home, comes thru the door, and says, "Why is there a baking sheet in the driveway?"  It's the details that get ya...
 
2020-11-27 11:36:53 AM  
Hubby and I didn't ruin anything. Even the "what the heck brand is this?" turkey was flavorful and moist.

However, our daughter and son-in-law, who normally come up here to us for the holidays, ended up with a rotten turkey that had to be thrown away, along with green beans that turned out to be rotten, too, when they opened the package. They are having a difficult time getting food, she says, in San Diego. They ordered the turkey and veg from Amazon and guaranteed to be fresh through the 30th - but was rotten.

Normally, they only get 1/3 of the items they order from the grocery store. Sure, they get refunded the rest of their order, but the point is they aren't getting the food they order. They have been stuck eating chicken breasts and potatoes, which is what they ended up having for T-Day, for most meals. They can't afford a lot of the food anyway, the cost of living is so high in San Diego. Hamburger is nearly 10 bucks a pound! I'm going to have to start sending her care packages just so she can get some variety.

They moved to San Diego earlier this year, just as the shut down started, and neither of them have left their apartment since. She has Cystic Fibrosis, so she cannot get COVID or she will most certainly die, so neither of them are taking any chances so neither of them have crossed their threshold except to walk the dogs, distanced and masked.

And of course the plague rats in the southern part of the state are doing all they can to ensure they cannot leave their home any time soon. JFC I loathe those MAGAt plague rat sons of biatches.
 
2020-11-27 12:39:19 PM  
Overcooked the roast a bit. It was medium, not rare. I think my meat thermometer is on the fritz.

Was still good, just not awesome.
 
2020-11-27 2:21:54 PM  

Esroc: The stuffing was a soup for crying out loud!


That may be the single most revolting thing I've ever read.
 
2020-11-27 2:51:48 PM  

Dj Orange Threat: Vhale: Huh.
Well I made a cake to take up to my grandmother's ages ago. It is a seriously ugly cake, as-is. Not one person took a single bite of it. So. Drove back down to my mothers with the family and set it on the counter. I was not having good feels. My sister came up and told our mother, I know if she made it,it's good. She cut a slice. Was like, wow. Then my dad had to dig in. The whole thing was gone in about 30 minutes.

/pride restored.

It's like an apple fritter. Ugly, but tasty.

https://sweetnicks.com/2015/10/recipe-​cinnamon-apple-cake-cooking-light/

I mean, i didn't expect it to look that bad. It's a "if my dog was ugly as you, i'd shave his butt and teach him to walk backwards" level of ugly. I wonder if whipped cream on top would help? Or maybe keep some of the batter mixture separate before the apples, and pour it on top. Looks like a good recipe, i look forward to trying it. Thanks for sharing!


You're welcome! It's very tasty. Fair warning, the sides look just as bad as the top. I think because the cake has no true liquids, the batter doesn't smooth out much. Plus, like a fritter it gets really dark brown. By normal cake standards it looks scorched. It's not, that just how it looks. So very tasty though <3. I thin white glaze like for a pound cake or donut might work but I just let everyone know its ugly and its like a fritter. No problems since.
 
2020-11-27 3:05:36 PM  
All the food was cooked to perfection, it was the entertainment that was lacking.

Anybody know what movie has a scene in which a kids dad finds a bong and asks what it is. Kid says its a musical instrument and tries to "play" the waterpipe resulting in a pathetic bleating sound?
 
2020-11-27 3:13:13 PM  
Ummm the giblet gravy did not happen. Slow simmer mom put to a hard boil. Burnt caked goodness on a pan when I realized what happened. "Gravy done and well done and will not be served"
 
2020-11-27 3:17:39 PM  
Shrimp marsala.
 
2020-11-27 4:04:32 PM  

Imaginativescreenname: All the food was cooked to perfection, it was the entertainment that was lacking.

Anybody know what movie has a scene in which a kids dad finds a bong and asks what it is. Kid says its a musical instrument and tries to "play" the waterpipe resulting in a pathetic bleating sound?


Outside Providence! That movie is great!
 
2020-11-27 4:30:09 PM  

unregenerate: Imaginativescreenname: All the food was cooked to perfection, it was the entertainment that was lacking.

Anybody know what movie has a scene in which a kids dad finds a bong and asks what it is. Kid says its a musical instrument and tries to "play" the waterpipe resulting in a pathetic bleating sound?

Outside Providence! That movie is great!


Thank you!!!!
I remember it being awesome, about to watch it for the first time in like 10 years
 
2020-11-27 7:48:13 PM  
My sister once attempted steamed cauliflower and cheddar cheese sauce.

My sister was not proficient in cheese sauces. You kinda have to heat them slowly and gently, with a lot of stirring, and watch for that moment when it thickens.

We called the result "molten orange traffic cone."

A little milk and flour later it came out fine, but it was an amazing plastic that the Dow Corporation would have patented for a while there.
 
2020-11-27 9:18:53 PM  

Esroc: The stuffing was a soup for crying out loud!


arrgh, I did this.  I bought the wrong bread to make the croutons, and then for the first time ever, I mixed everything up using a spatula instead of my hand and didn't realize that it was too wet.  that won't happen again.
 
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