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(Fox News)   Florida bizarre love triangle settled with a machete   (foxnews.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Sarasota County, Florida, Charlotte County, Florida, Truck, Alana J. Gibson, Prison, investigators Gibson, All rights reserved, Pickup truck  
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3031 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Nov 2020 at 11:49 AM (19 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-11-26 12:02:19 PM  
8 votes:

orbister: That's a ...

<Turns and flees in terror from the legions of the woke>


img.buzzfeed.comView Full Size

From less woke days...
 
2020-11-26 12:31:05 PM  
5 votes:
That's not a Sheila!

external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2020-11-26 12:28:05 PM  
5 votes:

thorpe: Sorry to see Jim Morrison resort to this.

[Fark user image 850x563]


she needs a shave
 
2020-11-26 12:25:22 PM  
5 votes:
Am I the only one wonder how the fark you fark up killing a sleeping person with a machete?

Like I dunno, the damn things are made for chopping, seems like if you wanted to kill someone and you happen to be standing over their sleeping body, and you have a machete in hand it would be "check mate"
 
2020-11-26 12:09:11 PM  
4 votes:
"Gibson later admitted during an interview with investigators that she planned to kill the man and convince his wife to run away with her."

Pro tip for next time: try switching the order on that.  I mean, maybe get her to agree to run away with you BEFORE she wakes up to you hacking her husband to death.  I can't tell you how many times this one trick has saved me A LOT of embarrassment!
 
2020-11-26 12:05:47 PM  
3 votes:
Triangle settled with a machete sounds like a trapezoid.
 
2020-11-26 11:54:31 AM  
3 votes:
That's a ...

<Turns and flees in terror from the legions of the woke>
 
2020-11-26 11:51:47 AM  
3 votes:
New Order - Bizarre Love Triangle (Official Music Video) [HD Upgrade]
Youtube tkOr12AQpnU
 
2020-11-26 1:13:55 PM  
2 votes:

Axeofjudgement: Some time on a grinder and a little love. Absolutely agree with the stabbing thing.

But come on whack and worst comes to worst you get a trachea, best comes to best you get a spine



Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-11-26 12:14:18 PM  
2 votes:
Investigators also recovered a slew of weapons at the couple's home, including a machete, an ax, a compound bow and several arrows, deputies said.

I must have like, a full armory in my shed and garage.
 
2020-11-26 11:57:45 AM  
2 votes:

dj_bigbird: The NYP has a picture of the attacker. You have been warned. https://nypost.com/2020/11/24/florida-​woman-charged-in-machete-attack-wanted​-to-be-with-mans-wife/


That is one handsome dude.
 
2020-11-26 11:27:16 AM  
2 votes:
Machete won't hit you if you can't fight back. He's just that kind of guy.
 
2020-11-26 4:25:50 PM  
1 vote:

Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen: "Gibson later admitted during an interview with investigators that she planned to kill the man and convince his wife to run away with her."

Pro tip for next time: try switching the order on that.  I mean, maybe get her to agree to run away with you BEFORE she wakes up to you hacking her husband to death.  I can't tell you how many times this one trick has saved me A LOT of embarrassment!


Makes you wonder how she got all this way with such poor problem solving skills.
 
2020-11-26 2:44:54 PM  
1 vote:

thorpe: [Fark user image image 850x563]


media3.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-11-26 12:47:51 PM  
1 vote:

Axeofjudgement: Am I the only one wonder how the fark you fark up killing a sleeping person with a machete?

Like I dunno, the damn things are made for chopping, seems like if you wanted to kill someone and you happen to be standing over their sleeping body, and you have a machete in hand it would be "check mate"


A typical machete you'll find at a garden center or Walmart are, not particularly sharp and don't hold an edge. They are too light to be an effective bludgeoning tool.

And, as you said, they are made for chopping. Stabbing would be much more effectivewway to kill someone.
 
2020-11-26 12:42:04 PM  
1 vote:

zobear: Bizarre? So there's such a thing as a "normal" Florida love triangle?

/did not rtfa


Yeah. This.
 
2020-11-26 12:31:42 PM  
1 vote:

Everything is Awful: Investigators also recovered a slew of weapons at the couple's home, including a machete, an ax, a compound bow and several arrows, deputies said.

I must have like, a full armory in my shed and garage.


yay for irrelevant details!
 
2020-11-26 12:30:10 PM  
1 vote:
From the article I don't think this counts as a "love triangle".
 
2020-11-26 12:20:15 PM  
1 vote:
Really working up a mental illness defense, he's probably in a max security psychiatric ward and hasn't spoken to his public defender yet.
 
2020-11-26 12:09:30 PM  
1 vote:
Bizarre? So there's such a thing as a "normal" Florida love triangle?

/did not rtfa
 
2020-11-26 12:09:21 PM  
1 vote:
"Gibson later admitted during an interview with investigators that she planned to kill the man and convince his wife to run away with her. "

"It's unclear if she's hired an attorney who could speak on her behalf."


I'm going to bet big money that the answer to that question is: no, she has not.
 
2020-11-26 12:07:39 PM  
1 vote:
Yeah but think about how it would have turned out if he had a gun in the nightstand.
 
2020-11-26 11:59:48 AM  
1 vote:

Urmuf Hamer: Now is two triangles?


No. It's a square. 4 sides now!
 
2020-11-26 11:45:37 AM  
1 vote:
Sorry to see Jim Morrison resort to this.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-11-26 11:11:16 AM  
1 vote:
Every time I see you falling.. I reach for my machete..
 
2020-11-26 10:53:31 AM  
1 vote:
Now is two triangles?
 
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