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(Fox News)   Florida bizarre love triangle settled with a machete   (foxnews.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Sarasota County, Florida, Charlotte County, Florida, Truck, Alana J. Gibson, Prison, investigators Gibson, All rights reserved, Pickup truck  
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2990 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Nov 2020 at 11:49 AM (14 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



45 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-11-26 10:53:31 AM  
Now is two triangles?
 
2020-11-26 11:11:16 AM  
Every time I see you falling.. I reach for my machete..
 
2020-11-26 11:27:16 AM  
Machete won't hit you if you can't fight back. He's just that kind of guy.
 
2020-11-26 11:28:40 AM  
 
2020-11-26 11:33:13 AM  
According to arrest records, the woman was shot right through with a bolt of blue.  It's no problem of mine, but it's a problem, I find.

/Living a life I can't leave behind
 
2020-11-26 11:41:50 AM  
I think we can reasonably say that she was a fool, and that her wisdom will definitely not set her free.
 
2020-11-26 11:45:37 AM  
Sorry to see Jim Morrison resort to this.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-11-26 11:51:47 AM  
New Order - Bizarre Love Triangle (Official Music Video) [HD Upgrade]
Youtube tkOr12AQpnU
 
2020-11-26 11:54:31 AM  
That's a ...

<Turns and flees in terror from the legions of the woke>
 
2020-11-26 11:57:45 AM  

dj_bigbird: The NYP has a picture of the attacker. You have been warned. https://nypost.com/2020/11/24/florida-​woman-charged-in-machete-attack-wanted​-to-be-with-mans-wife/


That is one handsome dude.
 
2020-11-26 11:59:26 AM  

thorpe: Sorry to see Jim Morrison resort to this.

[Fark user image 850x563]


More like Dallas Taylor and Gary Moore's love child
 
2020-11-26 11:59:48 AM  

Urmuf Hamer: Now is two triangles?


No. It's a square. 4 sides now!
 
2020-11-26 12:00:31 PM  
So.... Did she say yes?
 
2020-11-26 12:02:19 PM  

orbister: That's a ...

<Turns and flees in terror from the legions of the woke>


img.buzzfeed.comView Full Size

From less woke days...
 
2020-11-26 12:05:47 PM  
Triangle settled with a machete sounds like a trapezoid.
 
2020-11-26 12:07:39 PM  
Yeah but think about how it would have turned out if he had a gun in the nightstand.
 
2020-11-26 12:09:11 PM  
"Gibson later admitted during an interview with investigators that she planned to kill the man and convince his wife to run away with her."

Pro tip for next time: try switching the order on that.  I mean, maybe get her to agree to run away with you BEFORE she wakes up to you hacking her husband to death.  I can't tell you how many times this one trick has saved me A LOT of embarrassment!
 
2020-11-26 12:09:21 PM  
"Gibson later admitted during an interview with investigators that she planned to kill the man and convince his wife to run away with her. "

"It's unclear if she's hired an attorney who could speak on her behalf."


I'm going to bet big money that the answer to that question is: no, she has not.
 
2020-11-26 12:09:30 PM  
Bizarre? So there's such a thing as a "normal" Florida love triangle?

/did not rtfa
 
2020-11-26 12:10:10 PM  
Attacking with a machete is what's known in Florida as an "amicable divorce".
 
2020-11-26 12:14:18 PM  
Investigators also recovered a slew of weapons at the couple's home, including a machete, an ax, a compound bow and several arrows, deputies said.

I must have like, a full armory in my shed and garage.
 
2020-11-26 12:20:15 PM  
Really working up a mental illness defense, he's probably in a max security psychiatric ward and hasn't spoken to his public defender yet.
 
2020-11-26 12:24:11 PM  

Bslim: Every time I see you falling.. I reach for my machete..


toraque: According to arrest records, the woman was shot right through with a bolt of blue.  It's no problem of mine, but it's a problem, I find.

/Living a life I can't leave behind


Walker: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/tkOr12AQ​pnU]


Just wanted to say that you guys are awesome!
 
2020-11-26 12:25:10 PM  
♫Machete will tear you apart♫
 
2020-11-26 12:25:22 PM  
Am I the only one wonder how the fark you fark up killing a sleeping person with a machete?

Like I dunno, the damn things are made for chopping, seems like if you wanted to kill someone and you happen to be standing over their sleeping body, and you have a machete in hand it would be "check mate"
 
2020-11-26 12:28:05 PM  

thorpe: Sorry to see Jim Morrison resort to this.

[Fark user image 850x563]


she needs a shave
 
2020-11-26 12:30:10 PM  
From the article I don't think this counts as a "love triangle".
 
2020-11-26 12:31:05 PM  
That's not a Sheila!

external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2020-11-26 12:31:42 PM  

Everything is Awful: Investigators also recovered a slew of weapons at the couple's home, including a machete, an ax, a compound bow and several arrows, deputies said.

I must have like, a full armory in my shed and garage.


yay for irrelevant details!
 
2020-11-26 12:39:25 PM  

thorpe: Sorry to see Jim Morrison resort to this.

[Fark user image 850x563]


well it did happen in Venice
 
2020-11-26 12:41:13 PM  
Her Confusion about The Perfect Kiss did not lead to Ecstasy, or even a Fine Time. Her Temptation will likely end up with Regret In a Lonely Place, until she is Touched By the Hand of God. Truth is, there will be a Procession of Hurt, Cries and Whispers due to all the Ultraviolence against The Him.
 
2020-11-26 12:42:04 PM  

zobear: Bizarre? So there's such a thing as a "normal" Florida love triangle?

/did not rtfa


Yeah. This.
 
2020-11-26 12:47:51 PM  

Axeofjudgement: Am I the only one wonder how the fark you fark up killing a sleeping person with a machete?

Like I dunno, the damn things are made for chopping, seems like if you wanted to kill someone and you happen to be standing over their sleeping body, and you have a machete in hand it would be "check mate"


A typical machete you'll find at a garden center or Walmart are, not particularly sharp and don't hold an edge. They are too light to be an effective bludgeoning tool.

And, as you said, they are made for chopping. Stabbing would be much more effectivewway to kill someone.
 
2020-11-26 1:02:04 PM  

big pig peaches: Axeofjudgement: Am I the only one wonder how the fark you fark up killing a sleeping person with a machete?

Like I dunno, the damn things are made for chopping, seems like if you wanted to kill someone and you happen to be standing over their sleeping body, and you have a machete in hand it would be "check mate"

A typical machete you'll find at a garden center or Walmart are, not particularly sharp and don't hold an edge. They are too light to be an effective bludgeoning tool.

And, as you said, they are made for chopping. Stabbing would be much more effectivewway to kill someone.


Meh only one I own is made from truck leafsprings. Some time on a grinder and a little love. Absolutely agree with the stabbing thing.

But come on whack and worst comes to worst you get a trachea, best comes to best you get a spine
 
2020-11-26 1:13:55 PM  

Axeofjudgement: Some time on a grinder and a little love. Absolutely agree with the stabbing thing.

But come on whack and worst comes to worst you get a trachea, best comes to best you get a spine



Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-11-26 1:27:08 PM  
"She attacked the man in his asleep"

WTG Fox News
 
2020-11-26 1:43:38 PM  

Axeofjudgement: big pig peaches: Axeofjudgement: Am I the only one wonder how the fark you fark up killing a sleeping person with a machete?

Like I dunno, the damn things are made for chopping, seems like if you wanted to kill someone and you happen to be standing over their sleeping body, and you have a machete in hand it would be "check mate"

A typical machete you'll find at a garden center or Walmart are, not particularly sharp and don't hold an edge. They are too light to be an effective bludgeoning tool.

And, as you said, they are made for chopping. Stabbing would be much more effectivewway to kill someone.

Meh only one I own is made from truck leafsprings. Some time on a grinder and a little love. Absolutely agree with the stabbing thing.

But come on whack and worst comes to worst you get a trachea, best comes to best you get a spine


Username checks out
 
2020-11-26 1:58:04 PM  
Isn't "Florida bizarre" redundant?
 
2020-11-26 2:19:42 PM  

Abox: Triangle settled with a machete sounds like a trapezoid.


I think that's when settled with the sledgehammer.
 
2020-11-26 2:44:54 PM  

thorpe: [Fark user image image 850x563]


media3.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-11-26 3:28:27 PM  
It was a blue Monday when that occurred.
 
2020-11-26 4:25:50 PM  

Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen: "Gibson later admitted during an interview with investigators that she planned to kill the man and convince his wife to run away with her."

Pro tip for next time: try switching the order on that.  I mean, maybe get her to agree to run away with you BEFORE she wakes up to you hacking her husband to death.  I can't tell you how many times this one trick has saved me A LOT of embarrassment!


Makes you wonder how she got all this way with such poor problem solving skills.
 
2020-11-26 5:02:19 PM  
Well, at least no one drove cross country wearing an astronaut diaper.
 
2020-11-26 5:10:01 PM  

neilix: Well, at least no one drove cross country wearing an astronaut diaper.


Austra - I Love You More Than You Love Yourself (Official Video)
Youtube AE9ePc0OTjs
 
2020-11-26 7:12:47 PM  
Giggity?
 
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