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(Daily Mail)   Lonely man who bought geese to keep him company during lockdown is ordered to give them up because of their loud honking, fears they will suffer "separation anxiety"   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line
    More: Strange  
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1420 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Nov 2020 at 9:43 AM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



57 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-11-21 4:48:05 AM  
Geese are dicks, it is right up on time Christmas goose and I suggest it, though some people find it 'greasy'... but anyway, take it from a guy who lives near free range swans... you don't want geese hanging around.
 
2020-11-21 7:58:54 AM  
My bad.
 
2020-11-21 8:44:00 AM  
They look tasty.
 
2020-11-21 9:47:37 AM  
He's obviously a masochist
 
2020-11-21 9:47:57 AM  
preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2020-11-21 9:49:30 AM  
Keeping farm animals in the city? Big honking deal.
 
2020-11-21 9:50:42 AM  
Were they all out of goldfish?
 
2020-11-21 9:55:08 AM  
cybre.ams3.digitaloceanspaces.comView Full Size

 
2020-11-21 9:55:52 AM  
It always amazes me how people can be absolute pricks and still think they are the victim.

"Hey guys I'm doing something that everyone around me is complaining about. Also my city had at least two different ordinances (against the sound, and against the animals) because of a long history of these problems.

Now I'm being fined! For breaking these rules and making everyone around me miserable! Isn't it unfair?!? How can they do this to me!?!?!!"
 
2020-11-21 9:56:48 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-11-21 10:02:28 AM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: It always amazes me how people can be absolute pricks and still think they are the victim.

"Hey guys I'm doing something that everyone around me is complaining about. Also my city had at least two different ordinances (against the sound, and against the animals) because of a long history of these problems.

Now I'm being fined! For breaking these rules and making everyone around me miserable! Isn't it unfair?!? How can they do this to me!?!?!!"


Clearly the solution is to burn the neighbors houses down.  All of them.
 
2020-11-21 10:02:58 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2020-11-21 10:10:52 AM  
Sounds like

(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)

his goose is cooked.
 
2020-11-21 10:14:19 AM  

Monty_Zoncolan: Geese are dicks, it is right up on time Christmas goose and I suggest it, though some people find it 'greasy'... but anyway, take it from a guy who lives near free range swans... you don't want geese hanging around.


Take it from me.  Their poop ruined my brand-new pair of crosstrainers.

With climate change around here and stupid people keep feeding them in the winter, they don't migrate any more.
 
2020-11-21 10:16:59 AM  
Geese used to be a quiet and orderly lot, BTW. It's true. It wasn't until North America became home to so many boorish, uncultured, Euro-rejects, that the evolution started. Obviously the Northern Wilds became a sanctuary, and as-it-is-now Canada became home to the nastiest of all geese, The Canada Goose, as they were, quite rightly hunted to near extinction by the European settlers who had survived dysentery during their treck from Oregon. The geese then observed from their frozen perches southwards, and learned from observation, of their usurpur's mastery of the arts pertaining to being ultra-annoying self-entitled douche-bros.

They even made a game about it.
 
2020-11-21 10:30:53 AM  
Konrad Lorenz Experiment with Geese
Youtube 2UIU9XH-mUI

/but they love him like a mother!
 
2020-11-21 10:32:08 AM  
Why geese and not ducks? Ducks are kinder to each other, more friendly, easier to care for.
Well, I hope he finds someone who can take them. As Hollywood and BBC dramas tell me, Britain is 90% country farms and cobble stone roads, so I don't think that should be a problem.
 
2020-11-21 10:38:03 AM  

Monty_Zoncolan: Geese are dicks, it is right up on time Christmas goose and I suggest it, though some people find it 'greasy'... but anyway, take it from a guy who lives near free range swans... you don't want geese hanging around.


This. I have had to punch a charging goose in the face on two unrelated instances. On one of the instances my best friend, whose geese they were, turned around and looked at me after the fact and said shiat, why didn't I think of that earlier.
 
2020-11-21 10:38:35 AM  
Geese poop sucks.
 
2020-11-21 10:45:06 AM  
My terribly lonely uncle was adopted by two geese, Butch and Missy he named them. Both had been injured in separate incidents. He built them elaborate, heated outdoor shelters, fed them, they greeted him when he came home from work, would climb in his lap and honk with glee when they saw him. Cared for them for years. When they eventually died, his spirit was broken.

Those geese farking hated me.
 
2020-11-21 10:45:28 AM  
Right, well if he gets his throat cut in his sleep by Gallic marauders don't come crying to me about it.
 
2020-11-21 10:48:12 AM  
The only reason people are complaining is because they ordered Guinness at the Pub...
 
2020-11-21 10:56:54 AM  

Monty_Zoncolan: Geese are dicks, it is right up on time Christmas goose and I suggest it, though some people find it 'greasy'... but anyway, take it from a guy who lives near free range swans... you don't want geese hanging around.


Wow done in one. Came here to say that. Yeah if you feel that geese will help you stay emotionally stable, you need serious mental health intervention.

/ The goose game was not a mischaracterization.
 
2020-11-21 11:06:51 AM  
Man vs Goose vs Lightsaber vs Skyrim
Youtube 5KGut0NNfkk
 
2020-11-21 11:08:10 AM  

baronbloodbath: Keeping farm animals in the city? Big honking deal.


I suspect fowl play.
 
2020-11-21 11:13:25 AM  
Geese are loyal friends and terrible enemies.
 
2020-11-21 11:14:23 AM  
I'm not into emotional support animals but if I had to go down that path it would definitely be an owl named Eartha
True Facts About The Owl
Youtube XeFxdkaFzRA
 
2020-11-21 11:23:18 AM  
Kenneth Colin Irving, a local billionaire in New Brunswick when I was a kid, had ducks as a child. When the neighbours complained about the noise, he sold them the ducks for $100, a nice profit. His father owned the local mill in Buctouche and was considered rich, but like many of the sons of the "rich" he was destined to be really quite sincerely rich.

Yes, I know what the KC stands for. Many members of my family have worked with Irving or McCain companies, and some of them were close enough to be considered as working for the Irvings and thus liable to get telephone calls at odd hours.

My aunt, who once threw out my uncle's paycheque in a fit of cleaning, once gave one of the Irving sons ("Gassy, Greasy and Oily") a piece of her mind over the phone.

Brantgoose is never at a loss for waterfowl stories and facts. As a guy at Environment Canada used to joke, the bag limit on Brants is two per gun.
 
2020-11-21 11:24:04 AM  
Uh, hello, "separation anxiety" is the first step of getting the goose ready for roasting.
 
2020-11-21 11:33:12 AM  

berylman: I'm not into emotional support animals but if I had to go down that path it would definitely be an owl named Eartha
[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/XeFxdkaF​zRA?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3​A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsap​i=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&​widgetid=1]


Remember that web blog Ze Frank had on a bet? Remember when he became one of the first, if not the first, person to go viral because of a video birthday invitation he sent to his friends?

Well, you're old aren't you?

I had some little rubber duckies that I bought because of Ze Frank and my Mother put them on the Christmas tree along with a selection of all the ornaments collected since the "bread bag" ornament days. There was also a death head's moth, cut out from the cover of a Silence of the Lambs DVD  box, and of course the expensive ornaments I bought over the years as presents. Canoes and mittens, for example, fishing and golf ornaments, etc.

Very eccletic, eccentric, and personal. I come by my personality honestly, inheriting some from Mother Goose and some from Father Goose.
 
2020-11-21 11:35:55 AM  
Ze Frank. It's nice to see that he hasn't become too commercial and big for his neuroscientific pants. This kind of content is right up his gentrified Brooklyn alley.
 
2020-11-21 11:38:11 AM  
In English, Our goose is cooked.

In French, nos carrotes sont cuites.

One of the weird little quirks of good translation is knowing all these things.
 
2020-11-21 11:44:31 AM  

machodonkeywrestler: I have had to punch a charging goose in the face on two unrelated instances.



1) Username may or may not check out.


2) Seems like it would be effective (and possibly really funny) to clothesline a charging goose.
 
2020-11-21 11:53:32 AM  
You people run out of cats over there?
 
2020-11-21 11:58:26 AM  
i.ytimg.comView Full Size
...until he learns to control the rage that dwells within them
 
2020-11-21 12:31:31 PM  
If only there were some kind of festive event coming soon where the geese could be given the send off they deserve.
 
2020-11-21 12:52:09 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: You people run out of cats over there?


They haven't yet dealt with the 'micro' pig epidemic, and you're worried about pussy numbers?!?

Never took you for a Trump voter. ;P
 
2020-11-21 12:53:50 PM  
Put a honk collar on them.  Give them a static correction when they honk.
 
2020-11-21 1:09:27 PM  

Fano: [i.ytimg.com image 480x360]...until he learns to control the rage that dwells within them


Ryan Reynolds and John Cena should make a HULK movie
 
2020-11-21 1:36:12 PM  
Why the hell would anyone want geese as pets?
 
2020-11-21 1:37:39 PM  

SBinRR: Put a honk collar on them.  Give them a static correction when they honk.


Probably sounds like

honk
*bzzt*
HONK
*bzzt*
HOOOONK
etc
 
2020-11-21 1:50:14 PM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2020-11-21 1:55:15 PM  
images-na.ssl-images-amazon.comView Full Size


Knows how you feel

// Cute book
// amazon.com/...
 
2020-11-21 2:30:11 PM  

recombobulator: Were they all out of goldfish?


Do you know how much noise a gold fish makes? My God man, they would run the port man right out of town. That is the craziest thing I have ever heard.
 
2020-11-21 2:30:34 PM  

uttertosh: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: You people run out of cats over there?

They haven't yet dealt with the 'micro' pig epidemic, and you're worried about pussy numbers?!?

Never took you for a Trump voter. ;P


You take that back right now!
 
2020-11-21 2:45:26 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: uttertosh: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: You people run out of cats over there?

They haven't yet dealt with the 'micro' pig epidemic, and you're worried about pussy numbers?!?

Never took you for a Trump voter. ;P

You take that back right now!


Fine! I, uttertosh of Fark dot com, hereby do take back the entirely unfounded accusation that Mr A. V. Ghost Esq. is in any way associated with the 'micropig' movement.
 
2020-11-21 3:04:05 PM  
Hmmmm Hmmmm. Delicious foie gras on the foot
 
2020-11-21 3:55:55 PM  
He needs to start a grass-roots campaign:

HONK IF YOU LOVE GEESES

/ kinda proud of that one
 
2020-11-21 4:21:21 PM  
Why couldn't he get ducks?

Why geese? The only semi-domestic animal that truly gives a rooster the run for its money.
 
2020-11-21 4:33:20 PM  

mateomaui: Why couldn't he get ducks?

Why geese? The only semi-domestic animal that truly gives a rooster the run for its money.


Baby geese are pretty adorable and very into whoever is raising them, really keeping them outside of breeding season when they're aggressive is pretty rad. Baby ducks are wee shiat devils and what a duck does to a bucket of water is beyond gross.
 
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