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(Kotaku)   Kotaku's review of the PS5: Sure it's good, but with teh Drumpf on the loose still we're all banished to the grave so it matters not   (kotaku.com) divider line
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1671 clicks; posted to Fandom » and Entertainment » on 10 Nov 2020 at 11:50 AM (22 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-11-10 11:58:45 AM  
17 votes:
Look, only an idiot WOULDN'T spend 500 bucks to shave 27 seconds of their loading time for Bugsnax.
 
2020-11-10 8:28:41 PM  
13 votes:
It's a nice try, I suppose, but the fact remains that PC Zone magazine did a much better job with nihilistic games reviews.

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2020-11-10 12:00:49 PM  
12 votes:
Still better than Kotaku's 'review' of Microsoft Flight Simulator recently, which was a 2,000-word essay about cloud computing and whether you could really 'own' a game any more, that at no point in any of its meanderings actually discussed whether or not the game itself was any good. Or indeed offered any useful information about it at all.

/As a bonus, the original article spent the first third complaining that a certain landmark wasn't in the game, when it turned out it was there all along, and the reviewer had just got lost and couldn't find it.
 
2020-11-10 12:05:49 PM  
11 votes:

Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: I'm the master at that shiat. Unless the string is a different length than on mine. That's like the computer cheating and shiat.


Attach some broken glass to the string and take your opponents head-on, you goddamn noob.

God, it's like I'm the only person here who has invested thousands of hours in the cup-and-ball pro scene.
 
2020-11-10 12:02:47 PM  
11 votes:
This is the sad, pathetic millennial version of Hunter S. Thompson.
 
2020-11-10 12:00:20 PM  
11 votes:
Get rank one on the cup-and-ball and then tell me how the PS5 is good, you casual.
 
2020-11-10 12:09:56 PM  
9 votes:

Mike_LowELL: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: I'm the master at that shiat. Unless the string is a different length than on mine. That's like the computer cheating and shiat.

Attach some broken glass to the string and take your opponents head-on, you goddamn noob.

God, it's like I'm the only person here who has invested thousands of hours in the cup-and-ball pro scene.


You'll regret this tip someday. You'll know me by my mustard stains when the tournament resumes after covid.
 
2020-11-10 12:40:51 PM  
8 votes:

Mike_LowELL: Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: You'll regret this tip someday. You'll know me by my mustard stains when the tournament resumes after covid.

Trust me when I say that I am going to grab your stick and there is nothing you will be able to do about it.


And I will tug your ball as I laugh.
 
2020-11-10 12:33:10 PM  
8 votes:

Conservative Evangelical Millennial Cyclist: You'll regret this tip someday. You'll know me by my mustard stains when the tournament resumes after covid.


Trust me when I say that I am going to grab your stick and there is nothing you will be able to do about it.
 
2020-11-10 11:55:09 AM  
7 votes:
Meh, but it's no XBOX.
 
2020-11-10 3:57:57 PM  
5 votes:
I'm sure it's probably great but it looks ridiculous when it's on its side.

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2020-11-10 2:32:44 PM  
4 votes:
 
2020-11-10 12:12:29 PM  
3 votes:
Wow, thats the first review I've ever read that was basically "Yeah, this is great and all, but does anything really matter anymore?".

That guy needs some time off!
 
2020-11-10 12:03:09 PM  
3 votes:

Mike_LowELL: Get rank one on the cup-and-ball and then tell me how the PS5 is good, you casual.


I'm the master at that shiat. Unless the string is a different length than on mine. That's like the computer cheating and shiat.
 
2020-11-10 12:25:10 PM  
2 votes:

ThunderChild: Still better than Kotaku's 'review' of Microsoft Flight Simulator recently, which was a 2,000-word essay about cloud computing and whether you could really 'own' a game any more, that at no point in any of its meanderings actually discussed whether or not the game itself was any good. Or indeed offered any useful information about it at all.

/As a bonus, the original article spent the first third complaining that a certain landmark wasn't in the game, when it turned out it was there all along, and the reviewer had just got lost and couldn't find it.


Kotaku sucks and their craven, dumbest mother farkers on the internet, comment section is even worse.
 
2020-11-10 12:15:11 PM  
2 votes:
Kotaku is gaming journalism for people who don't play video games.

Horizon West is going to be the bomb.
 
2020-11-10 12:14:11 PM  
2 votes:
Kotaku gonna Kotaku.
 
2020-11-10 10:06:25 PM  
1 vote:
Cool, I guess buy them on eBay since the bots already bought all of them in the pre-order and have the Thursday release versions locked down as well?
 
2020-11-10 12:15:57 PM  
1 vote:
In defense of this thing, in no particular order:

1) The "political" stuff was what, 10% of that by volume? Less?

2) If you're looking for an alternative reason to feel outraged by this tech writer lecturing you on politics, consider that this was a deliberate choice of everyone in the production process, and your reaction -- outraged clicks and talking about Kotaku's daaaaangerous video game reviews -- was part of their plan.

3) It's not like he's asking you to swallow the Communist Manifesto here. It basically boils down to, "Hey, Gen X succeeded in its wildest ambition: to make video games an adult art form and to build a legitimate community around them. But we also live in other kinds of communities, several of which are burning down or dying of plague. If you need to focus on that for a while, don't worry, they'll keep making these." It would take a sensitive snowflake indeed to be bothered by that, but hey, it's a big internet.

4) There are approximately 60 trillion PS5 reviews that won't mention Joe Biden at all.

Now, that all having been said, I acknowledge a potentially devastating counterargument:

State_College_Arsonist: This is the sad, pathetic millennial version of Hunter S. Thompson.


Never mind "sad, pathetic millennial." If the comparison with Thompson's masturbatory "sports" reporting is in any way valid, even a little bit, then I retract my defense and suggest we burn Kotaku headquarters to the ground.
 
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