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1109 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 31 Oct 2020 at 1:45 AM (18 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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Sliding Carp [TotalFark]
2020-10-30 8:11:28 PM  
22 votes:

BizarreMan: I had an employee who accepted the job offer, paid for their state license, but never showed up to take the drug test, never showed up to get their state license, and never responded to my or HR's calls about if there was a problem.

Talking with HR, they had one employee show up to orientation drunk.  They got sent home and told to never come back.  Another one made it into orientation, and at the point where they are told "no weapons allowed on property" the employee asked about knives, HR said what kind?  They brought a 10" blade out of their jacket pocket and showed it to her.  She said "nope, not allowed and you will need to take it to your car right now and never bring it back to work".  The employee refused to take it to the car.


You're a middle school principal?
 
RussianPotato
2020-10-31 12:38:41 PM  
14 votes:
I was supposed to write an article but I got lazy.  So I just began blatantly plagiarizing reddit threads.  Now I'm the CEO of buzzfeed.
 
Keyser_Soze_Death
2020-10-31 10:58:41 AM  
14 votes:
Mid 90s:

Met a very attractive older woman at the bar across the street from the company where I had just started working. We hit it off immediately and were hooking up for sex after work for about a week. Turned out to be the boss's wife and she was hanging out at that bar because she suspected him of cheating with his secretary (he was) and wanted to catch them together.

On my last day a coworker explained who it was I had been hooking up with and etc. right after he overhears that I was being called into the boss's office. I nervously went inside and it was the boss, his wife and his secretary all standing and glaring at me as I entered. Everything crystallized in that moment, I spun around to catch the door from closing and mumbled that I would be packed up and gone by lunch. No one said a word otherwise, and I got my final paycheck in the mail the next day.
 
barefoot2008
2020-10-31 10:04:20 AM  
14 votes:
Ker_Thwap:

One creepy guy, let's call him Brad, was seriously creepy.  As in sociopath type, only spoke when spoken to, and only answered direct questions.  Would stare unblinking into your eyes when he did talk to you.  Well, fine, he didn't need to be a social butterfly.  Just let him get along with his work.  Turns out creepy Brad got arrested and charged with child molestation because he was a soccer coach for little kids.  Creepy Brad, a soccer coach?  Oh hell no.  So, we can fire him, yes?  Well, no.  Not yet.  The whole innocent until proven guilty thing.  So upper management, the union and government lawyers got together and had me conduct the most awkward interview ever.  Basically, unless he confessed I was stuck with him.  In a happy turn of events, he stroked out and died about six months later, and died three months after that.


Brad died twice?
 
Spice Must Flow
2020-10-31 10:20:36 AM  
13 votes:

barefoot2008: Ker_Thwap:

One creepy guy, let's call him Brad, was seriously creepy.  As in sociopath type, only spoke when spoken to, and only answered direct questions.  Would stare unblinking into your eyes when he did talk to you.  Well, fine, he didn't need to be a social butterfly.  Just let him get along with his work.  Turns out creepy Brad got arrested and charged with child molestation because he was a soccer coach for little kids.  Creepy Brad, a soccer coach?  Oh hell no.  So, we can fire him, yes?  Well, no.  Not yet.  The whole innocent until proven guilty thing.  So upper management, the union and government lawyers got together and had me conduct the most awkward interview ever.  Basically, unless he confessed I was stuck with him.  In a happy turn of events, he stroked out and died about six months later, and died three months after that.


Brad died twice?


It was a very serious stroke.
 
Ghastly [TotalFark]
2020-10-30 8:47:25 PM  
13 votes:
I'm sorry but pants may be the company policy but they are not mine, sir.
 
ShavedOrangutan [TotalFark]
2020-10-30 7:39:28 PM  
13 votes:
An ex's dad told me this story.  New Jr Exec is hired straight from business school.  He and most of the C-Suite travel to another city for a meeting.  Checking into the hotel there's some snafu with the reservation, exec's tell the new guy to handle it so they can catch up on emails.  After a short while they hear yelling "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T FIND OUR RESERVATION?  DON'T YOU KNOW WE RUN X COMPANY".

GF's dad takes the guy aside, some other exec starts handling the reservation.  Took his laptop, company phone, and company credit card on the spot, put him in a cab to the airport with instructions to go to the counter of the airline they just used.  Called his secretary at the home office and had a ticket waiting for the guy by the time he got to the airport.
 
Pop and Miracle Whip [BareFark] [OhFark]
2020-10-31 6:16:30 AM  
12 votes:
  A one point in my life, I worked at a pizza joint. The last day of that gig was a Saturday in July and our new party animal manager couldn't be resuscitated in time to have the store opened. It was left to me to call in the district manager from Detroit because apparently there was nobody else in the area with functioning keys.

After having to drive for close to three hours, he's hot pissed as putting his car into park, but when he notices that he has brought the wrong keyring for our area he comes completely unmoored. I just try to stay out of the way with my hands up as stalks around the parameter of the store like a bald fat incarnation of hate.

After about four laps he stops in front of me and points at a small window about eight foot up on the back wall of the store and tells me he's going to bust it out and afterwards he's going to shove my 6'3" 200lb frame through to drop eight feet into broken glass. I ask him why doesn't he just bust out one of the entrance windows and we don't have to break any bones or suffer any large lacerations because there was no way I was going to fit through a 2' by 1' opening.

He doesn't even consider it. He starts screaming "ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, I'LL DO IT!" and the next thing you know I have a fifty year old lard ass clambering up my back.(I usually get paid a lot of dough for that kind of action!) and he kicks off with head as he wiggles his little piggle self through.

I mosey around to the front of the store and wait for about two minutes before he limps to the front door and I see that his hair's farked, lips busted and he's clutching one of his wrists very tightly. His face was farking hilarious; shock, pain and rage with a thin veneer of regret. He didn't speak to me after that. He sat in the back office staring at the window for about ten minutes before finally getting up and shambling his battered ass to his car and screaming out of the lot spitting asphalt into the windows he was reluctant to break.

My boss calls me mid shift and lets me know that my dough wrangling skills would no longer be needed. I tell him thanks for the job and I go and drop acid and sit in a tub of piss warm water until dawn.

To say it was a transitional time in my life would be an understatement.
 
ArthurPutey
2020-10-31 8:27:16 PM  
9 votes:
Mid 1980's I got a job at the Lubbock Civic Center as a concession stand worker. I was supposed to call in each week to get , and accept, my schedule. One week the 16 year old me forgot to call. The next week I forgot to call. By the third week, I forgot I was working there. About two years ago, I realized I still haven't called back to see if I'm still on the schedule.
 
aimtastic [TotalFark]
2020-10-30 8:26:30 PM  
9 votes:
At my current employer, a manager assaulted a subordinate with a chicken wing. In clear view of security cameras and with witnesses. Same day, completely unrelated, two other guys got into a fistfight on the sales floor.
 
Ker_Thwap [TotalFark]
2020-10-31 10:34:50 AM  
8 votes:

barefoot2008: Ker_Thwap:

One creepy guy, let's call him Brad, was seriously creepy.  As in sociopath type, only spoke when spoken to, and only answered direct questions.  Would stare unblinking into your eyes when he did talk to you.  Well, fine, he didn't need to be a social butterfly.  Just let him get along with his work.  Turns out creepy Brad got arrested and charged with child molestation because he was a soccer coach for little kids.  Creepy Brad, a soccer coach?  Oh hell no.  So, we can fire him, yes?  Well, no.  Not yet.  The whole innocent until proven guilty thing.  So upper management, the union and government lawyers got together and had me conduct the most awkward interview ever.  Basically, unless he confessed I was stuck with him.  In a happy turn of events, he stroked out and died about six months later, and died three months after that.


Brad died twice?


Damnit, I even previewed to try to correct that.  I suck at this internetting thing.
 
maxheck [TotalFark]
2020-10-31 9:00:10 AM  
8 votes:
Not they way *I* got fired, but... Used to do contract IT work for a bunkering company in Baltimore, and one day the big boss stomped into the shop and told us to revoke every access for a certain boat captain.

Soon as he left the room we jumped on the security camera footage, which, of course, we had access to.

Pilot was whacked out on *something* and slammed a very large tugboat into the dock at flank speed. So hard that the boat literally bounced backwards twice it's own length, and a 10' section of steel coping came off the dock and fell into the water.

I've done many dumb things, but I've never crashed a tugboat.
 
darkman2000
2020-10-31 8:42:03 AM  
8 votes:
I worked at a Catholic Church and considered resigning by affixing googly eyes to every painting and crucifix in the place.
I opted for the standard letter instead, but regret not doing to the lobby photos of the priests.
 
BumpInTheNight [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2020-10-30 8:17:11 PM  
7 votes:

BizarreMan: I had an employee who accepted the job offer, paid for their state license, but never showed up to take the drug test, never showed up to get their state license, and never responded to my or HR's calls about if there was a problem.

Talking with HR, they had one employee show up to orientation drunk.  They got sent home and told to never come back.  Another one made it into orientation, and at the point where they are told "no weapons allowed on property" the employee asked about knives, HR said what kind?  They brought a 10" blade out of their jacket pocket and showed it to her.  She said "nope, not allowed and you will need to take it to your car right now and never bring it back to work".  The employee refused to take it to the car.


Mall santa training?
 
Nurglitch
2020-10-31 12:09:42 PM  
6 votes:
Mine was, as a temp working in a warehouse, pointing out how badly the place was run. I got fired, but nobody told the temp company or myself so I worked there for another week wondering why the temp company had sent along an extra guy that week.
 
Fursecution [BareFark]
2020-10-31 4:14:59 PM  
5 votes:

Keyser_Soze_Death: Cajnik: Keyser_Soze_Death: Mid 90s:

Met a very attractive older woman at the bar across the street from the company where I had just started working. We hit it off immediately and were hooking up for sex after work for about a week. Turned out to be the boss's wife and she was hanging out at that bar because she suspected him of cheating with his secretary (he was) and wanted to catch them together.

On my last day a coworker explained who it was I had been hooking up with and etc. right after he overhears that I was being called into the boss's office. I nervously went inside and it was the boss, his wife and his secretary all standing and glaring at me as I entered. Everything crystallized in that moment, I spun around to catch the door from closing and mumbled that I would be packed up and gone by lunch. No one said a word otherwise, and I got my final paycheck in the mail the next day.

Well you got a week of sex and a paycheck, that's not so bad!


Agreed, and I dodged a bullet too! That place apparently turned into a HR dumpster fire not long after I left.


Really, what you should've done is asked when the orgy starts.
 
Random Celebrity Insult Generator [BareFark]
2020-10-31 3:48:32 PM  
5 votes:
A 19 year old kid got hired to work the seafood counter. See him twice and then never again. Asked a coworker what happened.

He had closed seafood one night and was walking out of the store and the 5 pounds of crab legs he'd stuffed down the back of his pants fell out in front of the closing manager.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
CFitzsimmons
2020-10-31 1:52:29 PM  
5 votes:
The flight attendant who slid down the emergency slide after grabbing a couple mini bottles of liquor is probably my favorite.
 
HeathenHealer [TotalFark]
2020-10-30 11:04:46 PM  
5 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
bingethinker [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2020-10-30 8:14:38 PM  
5 votes:
Obviously, assaulting a co-worker is grounds for dismissal. One place I worked had a twist on that. If I punch you, we're both fired, because you must have done something to deserve it.
 
Raider_dad [TotalFark]
2020-10-31 6:11:20 PM  
4 votes:
Convenience store retail ,working overnights people have a very wrong idea of how much work you do. Guy went through an hour or so of training vids then on his first night not even a couple minutes after he clocked in I show him the overnight work list , he looked at it for a while and made an excuse that he "grabbed his wife's keys" so he said he needs to bring them home to her ... 10 minutes later he called the store and says "some guy was creeping around the house so he better stay home with his wife" . Never to be seen again.
 
Nosatril [OhFark]
2020-10-31 1:43:47 PM  
4 votes:

BizarreMan: I had an employee who accepted the job offer, paid for their state license, but never showed up to take the drug test, never showed up to get their state license, and never responded to my or HR's calls about if there was a problem.

Talking with HR, they had one employee show up to orientation drunk.  They got sent home and told to never come back.  Another one made it into orientation, and at the point where they are told "no weapons allowed on property" the employee asked about knives, HR said what kind?  They brought a 10" blade out of their jacket pocket and showed it to her.  She said "nope, not allowed and you will need to take it to your car right now and never bring it back to work".  The employee refused to take it to the car.


A long time ago I knew a guy who was out of work and looking for a job. So this gal he knew put in a good word for him at Taco Bell where she was working. I'm guessing he felt this particular job was beneath him - I don't know. But he was staying with relatives and they wanted him working so he went to the interview. In full native american regalia.

Now this guy technically was 1/8 or less by blood related to a particular tribe, but had never dressed the part in his life. He gave them some b.s. about how he wanted the job but he had to wear a headdress while stuffing tacos. Needless to say he didn't land that opportunity. I can imagine how the woman who recommended him felt.
 
PTP_Professor
2020-10-31 9:37:14 AM  
4 votes:
I was managing a Waffle House and we had senior VP, regional management, and division management all visiting my store. Day 1 of training for new waitress. 10 minutes into her shift, she goes to the restroom. Comes out acting a bit different. Another waitress goes in the restroom and finds coke residue on the baby changing station. I call the new girl on it, and she throws a baggie of coke at me, missing me and landing in the open sandwich board cooler, where it burst, sending a cloud of cocaine over the hash browns, tomatoes, cheese, etc. Insta-fired

Another time a line cook walked up to me, snapped to attention and shouted "Heil Hitler," while doing the Nazi salute.  I'm 1/4 Jewish and had distant family in the camps. Management at that job got rid of him within 10 minutes.
 
Aussie_As
2020-10-31 3:36:28 AM  
4 votes:
I was employed through a temp agency thus instantly removeable from site for any reason the company I was working at chose, so I had to keep my nose clean.

I didn't. Smoked weed before work one day, shared a lift up with a senior manager who looked funny at me, I got to my desk logged in and started processing work immediately.

Half an hour the manager wandered up to my supervisor to check on my stats for that day thus far. He was impressed. I heard him say "Maybe we should make it compulsory" under his breath to the supervisor thinking I was on a call and couldn't hear him.

Nobody ever said anything and I wasn't fired, so actually that just served to encourage more bad behaviour when I reflect on that job. In the end I left of my own volition, much later than the initial contract for my services had originally been. Dodged a bullet.
 
vudukungfu [TotalFark]
2020-10-30 9:03:00 PM  
4 votes:
Involved a disgruntled customer a gallon of gas and a lighter.

They hired me back.
 
nanim [TotalFark]
2020-10-30 8:26:49 PM  
4 votes:
7 Trucks Hitting Bridges And A Sign (Not The 11Foot8 Bridge)
Youtube 5l9RpdxogXQ

/ not mine, but I do wonder why trucks drive with open beds UP ?
 
darkhorse23 [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2020-10-30 8:26:25 PM  
4 votes:
I ran a store in Hoboken that was open 7 days a week with 4 college student employees who who were good kids but needed management. My mom was having surgery in a week and I had to be with her. I'd had a woman with a bunch of experience in running a business like mine and had been calling and begging me for a job for months. Called her, she came in and interviewed. Her knowledge was impressive, so I hired her. Got on a plane to mom's that night with the knowledge that my store was in good hands.

The next day while sitting in the hospital waiting room, my phone started blowing up with calls from the employees wanting to know why the store was closed and locked. I called the woman I'd hired to say WTF. She told me that in between the time I interviewed and hired her, and the morning she was supposed to start, she changed her mind. Didn't bother to call me or let me know. I was 900 miles away and couldn't do anything about it except to cuss her out, fire her and tell her never to come in the store again. Stupid git.
 
Resident Muslim [OhFark]
2020-11-01 7:08:51 AM  
3 votes:

bingethinker: Obviously, assaulting a co-worker is grounds for dismissal. One place I worked had a twist on that. If I punch you, we're both fired, because you must have done something to deserve it.


My last day of work there I'd punch the head of HR.
 
bughunter [recently expired TotalFark]
2020-10-31 6:29:55 PM  
3 votes:
Employee posted a picture of herself on Instagorm smoking a bowl, in uniform, obviously on company property.

All of her coworkers were subscribed to her page.

Including her manager.

/she was a smart girl
//was a shame I had to fire her
///but wisdom was her dump stat
 
Naido [TotalFark]
2020-10-31 2:23:54 AM  
3 votes:
I had a guy (drunk of course) call a client to let him know what a piece of shiat he was, around 3am.
 
W_Scarlet
2020-10-30 7:12:15 PM  
3 votes:
The last time I was ever a server, I had the table from hell.

Nothing was good enough. Nothing was fast enough. Nothing was hot enough. They ate 7/10ths of a thing then sent it back because it was no good. Our manager was a pushover, so over the course of an hour they probably ate a hundred dollars of food on the house.

And made my life a living hell the entire time.

Finally, this lady, dressed impeccably nicely, turned to me and said "And hurry up with my coke, you stupid spic!"

... so I went to the back, filled two pitchers with coke and ice, walked back out and threw them both in her face. "Here's your farking coke!" Dropped the pitchers on top of the food, threw my apron on top of that and walked out.

I knew I was fired, I didn't even bother. When I came back to get my last check, the manager asked me what happened. Their response was "I understand. We'll give you a good reference."
 
Mikey1969 [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2020-10-31 9:39:09 PM  
2 votes:
I put my dick in the mashed potatoes.
I could have sworn thst it was that kind of party.
 
Russ1642 [BareFark]
2020-10-31 9:10:13 PM  
2 votes:
Waaaay back in the day I worked at Canadian Tire. One idiot that I had to work with was lazy, bossy, etc. He would always find some sort of excuses for doing things and he would get other people to do it. My boss asked him to take a run out to the parking lot and get carts. A few minutes later he comes up to me and tells me that the boss wants me to do this. I knew immediately what was going on so I said "sure thing" and off I go. I did a cart run and made damn sure my boss saw me doing it. He fired the guy on the spot.
 
Billy Liar
2020-10-31 4:00:37 PM  
2 votes:
Had a manager at a geochem assay lab, newish hire.  He'd been there a couple months, and we slowly realized what an ass he was.  He had a degree in geology, the only one there - several people there had degrees in other fields, myself included, but a degree, let alone one in geology was not a requirement.  As in most places, keeping your nose clean and being likeable enough and being a productive worker was enough.  Anyway, this guy lorded his Geo degree over everyone, including the boss (a Zoology degree), so that he thought he knew best in everything - mining, cars, your choice of sandwich, etc.  Sometimes on Fridays, the main boss didn't mind, if we were caught up and there was no work to do, if we went and got some beer and knocked off an hour early - good for morale.  This new manager thought (I guess) that he'd buddy up to the increasingly resentful crew under him by sending out at lunchtime (four hours early) for some beers - his treat.  Everybody knew better and so stayed away from it and kept busy.  At 3:00, his guest, a potential new client, showed up for their appointment.  He was midway through his 3rd or 4th beer and proceeded to conduct the tour through the labs and prep area with a 16 oz Bud in his hand.  He'd decided that he needed to correct or add on to the guest's observations as well, in order to be a total cock.  Anyway, five minutes after the guest left, he was told to, too.
People came in on Monday in a surprisingly good mood.
 
HairBolus
2020-10-31 2:54:23 PM  
2 votes:

CFitzsimmons: The flight attendant who slid down the emergency slide after grabbing a couple mini bottles of liquor is probably my favorite.


Please. He grabbed two bottles of Blue Moon beer. Plastic mini bottles are approved for slides.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JetBlue​_​flight_attendant_incident

That is an excessively long article complete with a timeline.

pilot Arthur G. Schoppaul ... doubted that passengers and crew would feel safe flying with a crew member "who is subject to an act of hysteria".[25]

I guess he doesn't like screaming queens.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Cajnik [OhFark]
2020-10-31 11:30:35 AM  
2 votes:

Keyser_Soze_Death: Mid 90s:

Met a very attractive older woman at the bar across the street from the company where I had just started working. We hit it off immediately and were hooking up for sex after work for about a week. Turned out to be the boss's wife and she was hanging out at that bar because she suspected him of cheating with his secretary (he was) and wanted to catch them together.

On my last day a coworker explained who it was I had been hooking up with and etc. right after he overhears that I was being called into the boss's office. I nervously went inside and it was the boss, his wife and his secretary all standing and glaring at me as I entered. Everything crystallized in that moment, I spun around to catch the door from closing and mumbled that I would be packed up and gone by lunch. No one said a word otherwise, and I got my final paycheck in the mail the next day.


Well you got a week of sex and a paycheck, that's not so bad!
 
cretinbob [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2020-10-30 9:28:06 PM  
2 votes:
Poop in the coffee machine
 
BizarreMan [TotalFark]
2020-10-30 7:22:59 PM  
2 votes:
I had an employee who accepted the job offer, paid for their state license, but never showed up to take the drug test, never showed up to get their state license, and never responded to my or HR's calls about if there was a problem.

Talking with HR, they had one employee show up to orientation drunk.  They got sent home and told to never come back.  Another one made it into orientation, and at the point where they are told "no weapons allowed on property" the employee asked about knives, HR said what kind?  They brought a 10" blade out of their jacket pocket and showed it to her.  She said "nope, not allowed and you will need to take it to your car right now and never bring it back to work".  The employee refused to take it to the car.
 
Fano
2020-11-01 11:59:27 AM  
1 vote:

Me_Too_I_Ate_One_Too: Keyser_Soze_Death: Mid 90s:

Met a very attractive older woman at the bar across the street from the company where I had just started working. We hit it off immediately and were hooking up for sex after work for about a week. Turned out to be the boss's wife and she was hanging out at that bar because she suspected him of cheating with his secretary (he was) and wanted to catch them together.

On my last day a coworker explained who it was I had been hooking up with and etc. right after he overhears that I was being called into the boss's office. I nervously went inside and it was the boss, his wife and his secretary all standing and glaring at me as I entered. Everything crystallized in that moment, I spun around to catch the door from closing and mumbled that I would be packed up and gone by lunch. No one said a word otherwise, and I got my final paycheck in the mail the next day.

This has been bugging me since yesterday, why were they glaring at you if they were all filthy cheats? What kind of story do you think they cooked up to blame their wretchedness on the only innocent party?


Yeah that's what the married ones do. You can ditch the side piece, that's like a booster rocket to freedom
 
Terminal Accessory [BareFark]
2020-11-01 11:21:32 AM  
1 vote:

Resident Muslim: BumpInTheNight: Terminal Accessory: I worked at chain a pet store, one with a big wall of fish tanks and thousands of fish any given day.

They hired a new employee, middle aged lady who thought she was super smart, but didn't have any education past high school.    Completely delusional about her intelligence level.

The fish tank filtration system had a malfunctioning pump, and some of our test levels were slightly out of normal.   We were treating it with chemical correctors while waiting for the replacement part to arrive.

This idiot decided she knew how to correct the water problems. There wasn't enough plant material in the water!   So, without asking, she brought in a 5 gallon bucket of green pond scum from the pond behind her bumfark egypt rural farmhouse, and dumped it into our filter sump. At closing.

I opened the next morning, and knew from the smell something was wrong.   Every single fish on that system was dead.    Somewhere in the neighborhood of 2000 fish, snails, shrimp, etc.   As we figured out later, her pond was full of fertilizer runoff from the adjacent farm.   Her pond slime spiked the nitrate levels off the charts, basically suffocating the fish. On top of that, the slime jammed the already malfunctioning pump, meaning there was no water exchange, further suffocating the fish, and dropping the temperature below tropical fish tolerance level.

She not only got fired, she was arrested for vandalism, and sued for the value of the fish, and the cost of draining, cleaning, and restarting the entire tank system.

I think the final bill was over 20,000 dollars.

Faaaark me, wow what a moron.

I bet she still thinks she did nothing wrong and it's you guys blaming her for faulty equipment.
Some people view themselves as infallible.


You would be correct. She was yelling to everyone that it was not her fault as she was escorted out of the building.   That it was what the fish needed to breathe.

I got called to testify at the civil trial, and her lawyer desperately tried to impugn all the other employees as the cause of the kill off.

Unfortunately for her, we had VERY detailed water testing treatment logs, so we had proof that as of 5pm the day before I opened, that everything was testing within normal parameters.

Since she proudly admitted to multiple people what she had done, it was clearly the cause of the issues.

I met her son once.  He had the same delusional opinion of his mental prowess.
 
parasol [recently expired TotalFark]
2020-11-01 9:42:57 AM  
1 vote:
I was 18 and working full time as a secretary for a real estate office.
Mid-way through the year I took, and passed, the test to become a real estate agent - but I never had any sales or made a commission.
At tax time the owner/broker admitted she hadn't been taking out withholding, despite saying she had to my earlier inquiries that year, and announced I was, really, an independent contractor - one with a sudden tax bill due immediately.

Frustrated I threw the pen she'd handed me to sign the contractor's agreement onto the table.
She accused me of violence and fired me.
I told her I'd be notifying the IRS and walked out.

About 3 hours later her husband/business partner called and offered to pay "the lion's share" of my taxes.
I asked where the money was coming from - his business (mortgage broker) or hers.
He told me it was none of my business.

Ended up borrowing the money from family and notifying the IRS.
She closed shop shortly thereafter, something about a "downturn in the market"

Fastest - I worked for a temp agent for 3 hours. On the way to a gig I got a flat tire and showed up late.
She called me, screaming, that I made her look bad, that I was ruining her reputation, that she had plenty of other people like me (?!?), etc.  When I asked if that meant I could leave for the day, she shrieked and hung up.

I took that as being fired and acted accordingly.
 
yakmans_dad
2020-10-31 3:09:33 PM  
1 vote:
I knew 2 people who spoke. intemperatelyto their female supervisors. Neither made it to the end of the work day. Nor were either alone as they left the building.
 
maxheck [TotalFark]
2020-10-31 9:15:45 AM  
1 vote:

darkman2000: I worked at a Catholic Church and considered resigning by affixing googly eyes to every painting and crucifix in the place.
I opted for the standard letter instead, but regret not doing to the lobby photos of the priests.


Dude! I just got a whole box of googly-eyes because the Red Cross gave me a gift certificate!
 
blender61 [TotalFark]
2020-10-30 7:51:58 PM  
1 vote:
I had a guy ghost me for three days and when I called him into the office  he pulled out a vial of meth and offered me some bumps. Fired on the spot, referred to the police with video and audio.
Yeah, he was gone, but he was gone anyway.

I think he finally got 10 in state.
 
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