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(BBC-US)   Covid is now spreading "significantly" faster in the UK than the government's predicted "worst-case" scenario. Hold on to your arses   (bbc.com) divider line
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2333 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Oct 2020 at 3:14 PM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-10-30 3:33:12 PM  
26 votes:
FTA:

The Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies (Sage) says there are around four times as many people catching Covid than anticipated.

See, that's the problem.  If only they have been listening to the People Advocating Responsible Scientific Leadership to Educate Youth years ago.
 
2020-10-30 2:33:40 PM  
20 votes:
But Chief Epidemiologist Dr. P.I. Staker insisted it would just go away through herd immunity.
 
2020-10-30 3:37:20 PM  
19 votes:
Bono, whilst playing a gig in Glasgow, got the whole crowd to be silent and then began slowly clapping his hands. He got the crowd to clap along for a while, the stadium quiet except for the rhythmic clapping...
After a short period Bono spoke, saying that every time he clapped his hands a person in the UK caught Covid.

Suddenly, from the front row of the venue a voice broke out in thick Scottish brogue, ending the silence as it echoed across the crowd, the voice cried out to Bono "Well stop ****ing clapping then!!"
 
2020-10-30 2:56:50 PM  
10 votes:
The UK's only job is to make me feel better about how much America sucks these days.
 
2020-10-30 3:19:58 PM  
6 votes:

kbronsito: The UK's only job is to make me feel better about how much America sucks these days.


Finally!  Something we are superior at!  Unless Trump wins, then the shoe will be on the other foot!   AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH....brexit...........​...............

GODDAMNIT!!!!!!
 
2020-10-30 3:54:35 PM  
5 votes:

Juc: people have more than one arse?


Panic buying got weird.
 
2020-10-30 3:43:45 PM  
5 votes:

FarkinNortherner: kbronsito: The UK's only job is to make me feel better about how much America sucks these days.

Sadly, despite Boris, Brexit, COVID mishandling, and the weather, the US doesn't come close to being as much of a clusterfark as America in 2020.

/ex-pat


But the UK is America's dad. So....

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2020-10-30 3:40:51 PM  
5 votes:
...

I'd say the quality of my joke was pretty scarborough fair....
 
2020-10-30 3:51:26 PM  
4 votes:
I find it hard to believe that the Johnson government would screw around and squander the time they had to mitigate damage from an entirely predictable self-inflicted catastrophe.  It's so out of character.  Maybe they can blame the EU.
 
2020-10-30 3:46:07 PM  
4 votes:

Fabric_Man: I just can't help but think about all the chronic Covid sufferers we're going to be stuck with before this thing is done having its way with us. Not dead, but with reduced lung capacity and all sorts of internal organ damage. All clamoring to get some sort of disability payment. Much of the world will be in perpetual recession for decades.


Unless you are a frontline/REALLY FOR REAL necessary worker, then no disability unless fully disabled.  Most people brought it on themselves.  I know a doctor that got it from his hunting buddy.  Who in there right mind would go 3 days camping and hunting and the commute there and back with someone and no PPE?  That guy.  Now positive, and feeling bad.  Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
 
2020-10-30 3:32:56 PM  
4 votes:

physt: fragMasterFlash: Seems like no matter where you are you should be planning for a lockdown soon. Seems like most states in the US are only staying open at this point due to the election next week. After that you should be ready to shelter in place until Christmas. Bonus: You can send people rolls of TP instead of Christmas cards this year.

The huge amount of travel in the US over the Thanksgiving period is going to cause a huge spike that will cause people to stay home for Christmas. Of course, some of those will be in hospitals but you get the idea.

I can't tell you the number of people I know who admit it's not really safe to visit for Thanksgiving who still intend on doing it.


"What are you thankful for?"
"A total lack of awareness."
 
2020-10-30 8:40:16 PM  
3 votes:

Carter Pewterschmidt: erik-k: The one thing in common among governments that have catastrophically failed responses to the 'rona is reich wing demagogues masquerading as "leaders." See: Trump, Johnson, Bolsonaro - aka the Axis of Ignance.

Rather cherry picked examples. Japan has done very well fighting Covid, and Abe is right wing. Ditto Hungary. France is doing worse than the UK right now and has a very left wing leader. Ditto Spain. Belgium has per capita done about the worst in Europe under a liberal leader.


Exactly right. Thanks to Johnson, the UK had a world-beating test and trace system in place way back in June. All this talk of another lockdown being announced on Wednesday is just cynical political opportunism from Keir Starmer.
 
2020-10-30 3:40:20 PM  
3 votes:

toraque: FTA:

The Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies (Sage) says there are around four times as many people catching Covid than anticipated.

See, that's the problem.  If only they have been listening to the People Advocating Responsible Scientific Leadership to Educate Youth years ago.


There just wasn't enough thyme to do that, though, Rosemary....
 
2020-10-30 3:30:28 PM  
3 votes:
Belgium, the US and France arent so much better but at least they are trying to shut things down unlike Murica.
 
2020-10-30 3:29:33 PM  
3 votes:

kbronsito: The UK's only job is to make me feel better about how much America sucks these days.


Sadly, despite Boris, Brexit, COVID mishandling, and the weather, the US doesn't come close to being as much of a clusterfark as America in 2020.

/ex-pat
 
2020-10-30 3:17:12 PM  
3 votes:
Fredo said the pandemic was over.
 
2020-10-30 4:10:13 PM  
2 votes:
This great! We will be at herd immunity in no time and get back to having the best economy in world history. Hats (Masks lol) off to President Trump!
 
2020-10-30 4:04:32 PM  
2 votes:

TheAlgebraist: toraque: FTA:

The Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies (Sage) says there are around four times as many people catching Covid than anticipated.

See, that's the problem.  If only they have been listening to the People Advocating Responsible Scientific Leadership to Educate Youth years ago.

I think it's about thyme this happened.


You joke, but the Standardized Agents for Legalizing Thyme ran into the People Expecting Personal Protective Equipment Refunds, and the next thing anyone knew, the Momentary Experiment for Locally Accessing Negative Gravitic Exponents started folding space and then were all right back where we started.
 
2020-10-31 4:49:16 AM  
1 vote:

Ivo Shandor: Foghorn of Ignorance: Exactly right. Thanks to Johnson, the UK had a world-beating test and trace system in place way back in June


[Fark user image image 359x359]
https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-54​423988

[Fark user image image 360x196]


The results got counted, didn't they? It's not like there's any rush to get results quickly, only about 10% of people get a result within 24 hours and that's working out fine.

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entr​y​/nhs-test-and-trace-24-hour-turnaround​-drops-again_uk_5f6c6b7bc5b653a2bcb091​af

Besides, thanks to trademark Tory wisdom of trusting in private firms rather than inefficient, bureaucratic local authority health protection teams, contact tracing teams are reaching over 57% of people's contacts! And this was reported in the pro-EU Guardian too, which usually complains about the Tories attempting to dismantle the NHS through outsourcing. Not complaining now, are they?

https://www.theguardian.com/world/202​0​/oct/22/england-test-and-trace-reachin​g-fewer-covid-contacts-than-ever
 
2020-10-30 7:14:05 PM  
1 vote:

erik-k: The one thing in common among governments that have catastrophically failed responses to the 'rona is reich wing demagogues masquerading as "leaders." See: Trump, Johnson, Bolsonaro - aka the Axis of Ignance.


Rather cherry picked examples. Japan has done very well fighting Covid, and Abe is right wing. Ditto Hungary. France is doing worse than the UK right now and has a very left wing leader. Ditto Spain. Belgium has per capita done about the worst in Europe under a liberal leader.
 
2020-10-30 5:22:09 PM  
1 vote:

LindenFark: Dr.ScottAtlas: This great! We will be at herd immunity in no time and get back to having the best economy in world history. Hats (Masks lol) off to President Trump!

Herd immunity, always doubtful, is now considered impossible because recent studies show post-infection immunity lasting only a few weeks.

Please wear a mask.


Using the most recent available data from worldometer and doing the appropriate convolution integral, a period of immunity that expires after X months would imply Y cases of reinfection by now:

1 207000
2 172000
3 132000
4 77600
5 52250
6 32600
7 7110

If anything even remotely approaching -any- of those numbers of reinfections had occurred at this point, both the media and the medical community would be preparing for doomsday.

This doesn't imply immunity for life, but we are beginning to rule out the "worst case scenarios" in which immunity wanes after only 6 months. That said, SARS-1 survivors still have an immediate primary immune response to sars-1 antigens 20 years later of sufficient intensity that scientists suspect it would still confer effective immunity, though obviously since sars-1 has been exterminated there is no ethical way to test this hypothesis.
 
2020-10-30 5:17:14 PM  
1 vote:

NikolaiFarkoff: But Chief Epidemiologist Dr. P.I. Staker insisted it would just go away through herd immunity.


Hot fuzz : piss taker
Youtube mhIjzlpMBjk
 
2020-10-30 4:53:07 PM  
1 vote:

Dr.ScottAtlas: This great! We will be at herd immunity in no time and get back to having the best economy in world history. Hats (Masks lol) off to President Trump!


Herd immunity, always doubtful, is now considered impossible because recent studies show post-infection immunity lasting only a few weeks.

Please wear a mask.
 
2020-10-30 4:28:24 PM  
1 vote:

Dead for Tax Reasons: "This is significantly above the profile of the reasonable worst-case scenario


since when are worst-case scenarios meant to be 'reasonable'?


Worst case scenario, the universe implodes. Bunch of people get sick and die is pretty far from that
 
2020-10-30 4:16:39 PM  
1 vote:

Ambitwistor: Would "voluntary human extinction" be a hard Brexit, then?


Pretty sure that was the premise of 28 Days Later.
 
2020-10-30 3:58:34 PM  
1 vote:
Wots all this then?
 
2020-10-30 3:53:56 PM  
1 vote:

Brett Kavanaugh's teeth: Fabric_Man: I just can't help but think about all the chronic Covid sufferers we're going to be stuck with before this thing is done having its way with us. Not dead, but with reduced lung capacity and all sorts of internal organ damage. All clamoring to get some sort of disability payment. Much of the world will be in perpetual recession for decades.

Unless you are a frontline/REALLY FOR REAL necessary worker, then no disability unless fully disabled.  Most people brought it on themselves.  I know a doctor that got it from his hunting buddy.  Who in there right mind would go 3 days camping and hunting and the commute there and back with someone and no PPE?  That guy.  Now positive, and feeling bad.  Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.


This is a joke, right?

People have to work to pay their bills. You think covid is less likely to get ya when you're starving in the street?
 
2020-10-30 3:53:22 PM  
1 vote:

CordycepsInYourBrain: It is amazing to me how many countries are participating in this hoax. Who would have thought that the Demoncrats were such accomplished hoaxers. And who would have thought that the entire world would make such sacrifices, just to make Trump look bad. Thanks, my U.K. brethren.


I'm just amazed at how much power trump has.  Everyone tells me he's an idiot and is doing a horrible job, but the damn guy spread a plague around the world despite the best efforts of nations much, much greater than ours trying to stop it.
 
2020-10-30 3:33:17 PM  
1 vote:
Don't forget to adjust for British Understatement. They are climbing the walls
 
2020-10-30 3:31:33 PM  
1 vote:
Well then, fire everybody at the BBC and close it down. Done and dusted.
 
2020-10-30 3:30:23 PM  
1 vote:
I just can't help but think about all the chronic Covid sufferers we're going to be stuck with before this thing is done having its way with us. Not dead, but with reduced lung capacity and all sorts of internal organ damage. All clamoring to get some sort of disability payment. Much of the world will be in perpetual recession for decades.
 
2020-10-30 3:25:42 PM  
1 vote:
Seems like no matter where you are you should be planning for a lockdown soon. Seems like most states in the US are only staying open at this point due to the election next week. After that you should be ready to shelter in place until Christmas. Bonus: You can send people rolls of TP instead of Christmas cards this year.
 
2020-10-30 3:21:14 PM  
1 vote:
Ok, subby, but what about my ASS?
 
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