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(Business Insider)   UPS found Tucker's homework   (businessinsider.com) divider line
    More: Followup  
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6044 clicks; posted to Politics » on 29 Oct 2020 at 3:10 PM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-10-29 1:37:14 PM  
53 votes:
So now what?  He'll claim the contents cannot be revealed because the "evidence" has been tampered with?
 
2020-10-29 3:15:17 PM  
42 votes:
alcaponesvaultdotcom.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 3:26:45 PM  
34 votes:
denofgeek.comView Full Size

Package tampering
 
2020-10-29 3:14:32 PM  
32 votes:

Smoking GNU: It's a bunch of dildos, innit?


Nope, just photos of Tucker.

Wait - sources are telling me we're both right. How can that be?
 
2020-10-29 3:14:25 PM  
29 votes:

MattytheMouse: It's his dick in a box.


How did they make a box small enough?
 
2020-10-29 3:17:08 PM  
25 votes:

dracos31: MattytheMouse: It's his dick in a box.

How did they make a box small enough?


It's mostly packaging.

leafcutterdesigns.comView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 3:44:04 PM  
24 votes:
"Wait...they found it??"

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 3:20:44 PM  
18 votes:

Zizzowop: /what can brown do for you?


Anything she wants....
gentlemint-media.s3.amazonaws.comView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 3:27:16 PM  
17 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size


If it's from the tRump administration, I'm sure it's this.
 
2020-10-29 3:14:02 PM  
17 votes:
Yeah the chain of custody on this "evidence" is uh...quite something.
 
2020-10-29 3:13:19 PM  
17 votes:
It's a bunch of dildos, innit?
 
2020-10-29 2:08:38 PM  
16 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 2:05:24 PM  
16 votes:
I bet it's the Soup Nazi's soup recipes.
 
2020-10-29 3:16:58 PM  
15 votes:
Joe, Hunter, and their Deep State minions were never going to be canny enough to pull this job off.  It looks like Joe's crew was a little too sleepy to pull one over on Tucker.
 
2020-10-29 3:14:09 PM  
15 votes:

markie_farkie: So now what?  He'll claim the contents cannot be revealed because the "evidence" has been tampered with?


They're working on validating the information and promise to show you it on November 4th
 
2020-10-29 3:59:12 PM  
14 votes:

Exile On Beale Street: A Terrible Human: I'm hoping he opens it on air and it's just a huge print of dickbutt.

[Fark user image image 344x146]


Try that again...
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 3:11:38 PM  
14 votes:
It's his dick in a box.
 
2020-10-29 3:35:17 PM  
10 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 3:17:34 PM  
10 votes:

dracos31: MattytheMouse: It's his dick in a box.

How did they make a box small enough?


No wonder they lost it.
 
2020-10-29 3:40:54 PM  
9 votes:
I'm hoping he opens it on air and it's just a huge print of dickbutt.
 
2020-10-29 3:19:36 PM  
9 votes:
"UPS Finds Mystery Tucker Carlson Package"
Fark user imageView Full Size
/what can brown do for you?//uggfffhhhgg///sorry farmers, I just threw up a little
 
2020-10-29 3:20:50 PM  
8 votes:
Farking farkers not farmers you @$*÷#% #÷>#*$ keyboard!
 
2020-10-29 3:18:34 PM  
8 votes:

MattytheMouse: It's his dick in a box.


D*** in a Box - SNL Digital Short
Youtube Rt0spqQtMKg
 
2020-10-29 3:26:18 PM  
7 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size


Did Daily Beast 'shoop his mouth to look like a puckered asshole, or is this one of those cosmic coincidences where a person's physical appearance perfectly matches their personality?
 
2020-10-29 3:18:59 PM  
6 votes:

dracos31: MattytheMouse: It's his dick in a box.

How did they make a box small enough?


Packing peenuts
 
2020-10-29 3:18:58 PM  
6 votes:

Fart_Machine: dracos31: MattytheMouse: It's his dick in a box.

How did they make a box small enough?

It's mostly packaging.

[leafcutterdesigns.com image 850x688]


Tucker likes his fudge well-packed.
 
2020-10-29 2:42:25 PM  
6 votes:
"Well, I can't now, because it was supposed to be a surprise. Sheesh."
 
2020-10-29 4:17:23 PM  
5 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 3:40:57 PM  
5 votes:
SE7EN Scene - "The Box"
Youtube 1giVzxyoclE
 
2020-10-29 3:26:38 PM  
5 votes:

Circusdog320: Oh it's been tampered with.


Ghouliani splooge all over those images he's been sharing with people.
 
2020-10-29 3:16:31 PM  
5 votes:

Smoking GNU: It's a bunch of dildos, innit?


Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.
 
2020-10-29 4:06:50 PM  
4 votes:
Tucker- crap, this is all useless and we hyped it up so much. What do we do?

Idea guy- Let's mail it for no reason but put it in an unsealed envelope so it gets lost in the way. Then we never have to show it and we can blame a conspiracy.

Tucker - Do it!

UPS - Found your package.

Tucker- Curses, foiled again.
 
2020-10-29 3:42:11 PM  
4 votes:
My guess: documentation of excessive hoarding of toilet paper by the Bidens.
 
2020-10-29 3:27:09 PM  
4 votes:
Hey, guess what else was discovered?

DeJoy's UPS isn't a better alternative to USPS! It simply costs more.
 
2020-10-29 3:14:19 PM  
4 votes:
Ever see Ruthless People? I bet it's like that.
 
2020-10-29 3:47:37 PM  
3 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 3:36:16 PM  
3 votes:
What can brownshirt do for you?
 
2020-10-29 3:19:05 PM  
3 votes:
This story just keeps getting funnier and funnier. Like others suggested, Tuck will say the deep state tampered with it. 


/what can brown do for you?
 
2020-10-29 3:17:39 PM  
3 votes:
Well, now he'll have to turn it in and earn his F.
 
2020-10-29 4:55:52 PM  
2 votes:

Sandman7678: Tucker finally found his package.


And it was bent, disappointing, and much smaller than Tucker wanted us to believe.
 
2020-10-29 4:27:57 PM  
2 votes:

knuckleankle: This whole thing is hilarious. Tucker Carlson is a garbage human on his best day. I love that UPS announced to the world that pharker's package has been recovered. If they hadn't, I guarantee you he never would have reported the return of his "documents" because he would have gotten way more mileage out of the Deep State bullshiat.


Yea, I suspect he didn't expect that, either.

And it'd be great if the package contained, oh, I dunno... crepe recipes.
 
2020-10-29 4:11:47 PM  
2 votes:
"I'll bet the Suburban Housewives™ did it ."    -- soon to be a new sitcom on Fox since Miami Relatives™ and Antifa Antics™ never made it through the focus groups.
 
2020-10-29 3:50:40 PM  
2 votes:

mrwhippy: [Fark user image 435x499]


So he's a liar as well.
 
2020-10-29 3:26:44 PM  
2 votes:

SpectroBoy: Zizzowop: /what can brown do for you?

Anything she wants....
[gentlemint-media.s3.amazonaws.com image 669x975]


Which, in all honesty, is probably nothing.
 
2020-10-29 3:25:38 PM  
2 votes:
UPS CEO David Abney is a HUGE Trump supporter.  This is about to explode into a massive bullshiat bomb.
 
2020-10-29 3:17:19 PM  
2 votes:
Tucker: I would have proof if not for that meddling UPS!!!!

UPS: You ain't hanging your lies on us idiot boy! Here's your stuff.

Tucker (probably): They didn't return the RELLY GOOD evidence. Deep state! QAnon! Elves!

MAGAs:  See!?!?!? This proves EVERYONE is against trump!!!! Tucker is right!!!!
 
2020-10-29 3:16:45 PM  
2 votes:
LOL now he has to come up with something. My guess is it's just going to be the same documents they've been shopping or new print outs of "emails" with no way to verify that they're real.
 
2020-10-29 10:03:02 PM  
1 vote:

Kangaroo_Ralph: Whatever it is, y'all gonna ignore it.


Not true.  We will mock and make fun of it.
 
2020-10-29 7:55:05 PM  
1 vote:
DAMMIT GEORGE SOROS -- CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT?!?
 
2020-10-29 7:41:04 PM  
1 vote:
It would amuse me to no end to learn that Tucker had never mailed a damn thing just made the whole thing up, but someone at UPS decided to call his bluff by declaring that they'd found his lost envelope. What's he going to do? Declare that it wasn't UPS, it was FedEx? And what can he show for it? Nah, there was no lost envelope. If there was, it didn't contain any documents. If it did, the documents had nothing to do with Hunter Biden. If they did, it was a print out of Hunter Biden's grocery list, not anything regarding this "scandal". If it was, it was an old receipt from Cracker Barrel with the words "we got nothing" scribbled in Bic pen.
 
2020-10-29 5:02:46 PM  
1 vote:

Circusdog320: Oh it's been tampered with.


media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 4:33:32 PM  
1 vote:

Smoking GNU: It's a bunch of dildos, innit?


Can confirm.
 
2020-10-29 4:25:09 PM  
1 vote:

On-Farkin-On: Mikey1969: Weird Hal: [denofgeek.com image 768x432]
Package tampering

Is there a way to watch just that segment without having to watch some stupid Borat shiat? I'm really interested in whole segment, considering Rudy's really lame attempts at explaining it away.

It's very near the end of the movie if you don't want to watch the whole thing.  The last half hour was better than the first hour in my opinion, but I too watched it more for the Rudy scene.  The stills are more damning than the video, I think he was tucking, not fluffing.  But he was definitely creeping on her and would have let it go further had the opportunity presented itself.


Not gonna spoil it, but the best scene is after his daughter eats the cupcake.

That is not a euphemism, but there is a metaphor perched on top.

I was hypoxic with laughter...
 
2020-10-29 4:13:52 PM  
1 vote:

fsbilly: SpectroBoy: Zizzowop: /what can brown do for you?

Anything she wants....
[gentlemint-media.s3.amazonaws.com image 669x975]

Which, in all honesty, is probably nothing.


Sadly correct.
 
2020-10-29 4:10:06 PM  
1 vote:
He'll release it on November 4 for maximum impact
 
2020-10-29 4:01:42 PM  
1 vote:
Deliver it to him the day after the election lol
 
2020-10-29 3:49:46 PM  
1 vote:

GoldSpider: [Fark user image 850x478]

Did Daily Beast 'shoop his mouth to look like a puckered asshole, or is this one of those cosmic coincidences where a person's physical appearance perfectly matches their personality?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 3:27:19 PM  
1 vote:

GoldSpider: [Fark user image 850x478]

Did Daily Beast 'shoop his mouth to look like a puckered asshole, or is this one of those cosmic coincidences where a person's physical appearance perfectly matches their personality?


A sphincter is a sphincter.
 
2020-10-29 3:26:57 PM  
1 vote:

MikeyFuccon: Well. It seems the documents actually existed outside Tucker's head, so there's that, I suppose.

No conspiracy, obviously, just a cock-up that could happen to any customer.

I hope Tucker understood that, and decided this was a golden opportunity to have viewers believe that the Jews regularly intercept the mail of good Americans and will happily intercept mailed-in ballots that might come from Trump voters.

The other scenario is that Tucker is as paranoid as he claims to be and needs psychiatric help, because delusions of grandeur are a classic schizophrenia symptom. Next he'll be telling us invisible globalists insult him in the street.


Or more likely, the Fox lawyers put the kibosh on Tucker's expose due to fear of expensive lawsuits.
 
2020-10-29 3:14:15 PM  
1 vote:

You Are All Sheep: I thought he said he sent it USPS?


His two minute segment said it was a reliable shipping company in the USA. That was his first lie. Then he lied about how it was all extremely damning information and blah blah blah. I hope people are going to blanket the airwaves with actual trump crimes instead of made up biden nonsense.

Unrelated, but I'm enjoying just how many people are voting. Good luck changing their votes with your homework, dipshiats. Can't change it now that it's already voted and counted.
 
2020-10-29 1:55:06 PM  
1 vote:
Oh it's been tampered with.
 
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