Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Business Insider)   UPS found Tucker's homework   (businessinsider.com) divider line
    More: Followup  
•       •       •

6046 clicks; posted to Politics » on 29 Oct 2020 at 3:10 PM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



109 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2020-10-29 3:35:04 PM  

MikeyFuccon: Well. It seems the documents actually existed outside Tucker's head, so there's that, I suppose.

No conspiracy, obviously, just a cock-up that could happen to any customer.

I hope Tucker understood that, and decided this was a golden opportunity to have viewers believe that the Jews regularly intercept the mail of good Americans and will happily intercept mailed-in ballots that might come from Trump voters.

The other scenario is that Tucker is as paranoid as he claims to be and needs psychiatric help, because delusions of grandeur are a classic schizophrenia symptom. Next he'll be telling us invisible globalists insult him in the street.


No, it seems that when the President said the story was BS; some half-lucid intern mentioned a lost package, and ol' Tucker thought, well I'll just say they lost it, they never find stuff anyway, if they push me, I'll give them this perfectly good tracking number and huzzah! Alibi!

It would have worked perfectly if it wasn't for those meddling kids browns.
/What can Brown do for you today?
 
2020-10-29 3:35:17 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 3:36:16 PM  
What can brownshirt do for you?
 
2020-10-29 3:37:12 PM  

Bigdogdaddy: [Fark user image 750x600]

If it's from the tRump administration, I'm sure it's this.


That will never not be funny.
 
2020-10-29 3:38:05 PM  

dadio86: UPS CEO David Abney is a HUGE Trump supporter.  This is about to explode into a massive bullshiat bomb.


Executive Chairman - Carol Tomé has been CEO for a few months FWIW.
 
2020-10-29 3:38:38 PM  

Petey4335: Why couldn't the 'evidence' ship electronically?


Tucker, the world's most befuddled man, doesn't know how to use a computer.
 
2020-10-29 3:39:33 PM  
Bet he mailed blank documents to a bogus address so the mail guys would "lose" it...
 
2020-10-29 3:40:54 PM  
I'm hoping he opens it on air and it's just a huge print of dickbutt.
 
2020-10-29 3:40:57 PM  
SE7EN Scene - "The Box"
Youtube 1giVzxyoclE
 
2020-10-29 3:41:41 PM  

CanisNoir: Mikey1969: Nah, he just said a "major carrier". I think everyone collectively uses "lost in the mail" as a generic term. But I watched the video when the story first broke here, he mentioned that it was a major shipping carrier without naming anyone specific. I think someone pointed out that naming names could result in a lawsuit.

He also went out of his way to say the company was also very concerned and investigating. It was pretty clear he wasn't blaming the company despite not naming them.


Yep, he was just trying to make it a derp state thing...
 
2020-10-29 3:42:11 PM  
My guess: documentation of excessive hoarding of toilet paper by the Bidens.
 
2020-10-29 3:44:04 PM  
"Wait...they found it??"

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 3:44:16 PM  

Mikey1969: Weird Hal: [denofgeek.com image 768x432]
Package tampering

Is there a way to watch just that segment without having to watch some stupid Borat shiat? I'm really interested in whole segment, considering Rudy's really lame attempts at explaining it away.


It's very near the end of the movie if you don't want to watch the whole thing.  The last half hour was better than the first hour in my opinion, but I too watched it more for the Rudy scene.  The stills are more damning than the video, I think he was tucking, not fluffing.  But he was definitely creeping on her and would have let it go further had the opportunity presented itself.
 
2020-10-29 3:46:12 PM  
He's such an intolerable bore.
 
2020-10-29 3:47:37 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 3:49:46 PM  

GoldSpider: [Fark user image 850x478]

Did Daily Beast 'shoop his mouth to look like a puckered asshole, or is this one of those cosmic coincidences where a person's physical appearance perfectly matches their personality?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 3:50:40 PM  

mrwhippy: [Fark user image 435x499]


So he's a liar as well.
 
2020-10-29 3:54:27 PM  

DoctorCal: dadio86: UPS CEO David Abney is a HUGE Trump supporter.  This is about to explode into a massive bullshiat bomb.

Executive Chairman - Carol Tomé has been CEO for a few months FWIW.


https://www.campaignmoney.com/politic​a​l/contributions/carol-tome.asp?cycle=2​0

She's no better
 
2020-10-29 3:56:29 PM  

A Terrible Human: I'm hoping he opens it on air and it's just a huge print of dickbutt.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 3:59:12 PM  

Exile On Beale Street: A Terrible Human: I'm hoping he opens it on air and it's just a huge print of dickbutt.

[Fark user image image 344x146]


Try that again...
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 4:01:42 PM  
Deliver it to him the day after the election lol
 
2020-10-29 4:02:08 PM  

dadio86: DoctorCal: dadio86: UPS CEO David Abney is a HUGE Trump supporter.  This is about to explode into a massive bullshiat bomb.

Executive Chairman - Carol Tomé has been CEO for a few months FWIW.

https://www.campaignmoney.com/politica​l/contributions/carol-tome.asp?cycle=2​0

She's no better


I don't disagree, but if you're looking for a CEO who doesn't suck, you're going to be waiting a long damn time.
 
2020-10-29 4:04:53 PM  
Tucker finally found his package.
 
2020-10-29 4:06:50 PM  
Tucker- crap, this is all useless and we hyped it up so much. What do we do?

Idea guy- Let's mail it for no reason but put it in an unsealed envelope so it gets lost in the way. Then we never have to show it and we can blame a conspiracy.

Tucker - Do it!

UPS - Found your package.

Tucker- Curses, foiled again.
 
2020-10-29 4:10:06 PM  
He'll release it on November 4 for maximum impact
 
2020-10-29 4:11:26 PM  

You Are All Sheep: I thought he said he sent it USPS?


They work together, especially on last-mile stuff.  Things get tossed between them all the time.
 
2020-10-29 4:11:47 PM  
"I'll bet the Suburban Housewives™ did it ."    -- soon to be a new sitcom on Fox since Miami Relatives™ and Antifa Antics™ never made it through the focus groups.
 
2020-10-29 4:13:52 PM  

fsbilly: SpectroBoy: Zizzowop: /what can brown do for you?

Anything she wants....
[gentlemint-media.s3.amazonaws.com image 669x975]

Which, in all honesty, is probably nothing.


Sadly correct.
 
2020-10-29 4:15:19 PM  

Mikey1969: CanisNoir: Mikey1969: Nah, he just said a "major carrier". I think everyone collectively uses "lost in the mail" as a generic term. But I watched the video when the story first broke here, he mentioned that it was a major shipping carrier without naming anyone specific. I think someone pointed out that naming names could result in a lawsuit.

He also went out of his way to say the company was also very concerned and investigating. It was pretty clear he wasn't blaming the company despite not naming them.

Yep, he was just trying to make it a derp state thing...


Exactly, though I am curious as to where and in what state the documents were found.
UPS hasn't stated that.

I seriously doubt it's a "Deep State" thing, but I am curious.
 
2020-10-29 4:17:12 PM  

FleshMonkey: Tucker- crap, this is all useless and we hyped it up so much. What do we do?

Idea guy- Let's mail it for no reason but put it in an unsealed envelope so it gets lost in the way. Then we never have to show it and we can blame a conspiracy.

Tucker - Do it!

UPS - Found your package.

Tucker- Curses, foiled again.


That's a good take.  Or how about this one?

Idea guy - Let's mail a pre-opened, empty envelope and not even bother with documents.  Wouldn't want any actual proof floating around out there.

Tucker  - Do it!

UPS - No damn way you are going to rope us into your mail fraud scheme.  Find your "documents", send a correction to the press, and leave us out of this shiat or find yourself on the receiving end of a lawsuit.

Tucker - Ruh roh, Raggy!
 
2020-10-29 4:17:23 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 4:18:37 PM  

CanisNoir: Mikey1969: CanisNoir: Mikey1969: Nah, he just said a "major carrier". I think everyone collectively uses "lost in the mail" as a generic term. But I watched the video when the story first broke here, he mentioned that it was a major shipping carrier without naming anyone specific. I think someone pointed out that naming names could result in a lawsuit.

He also went out of his way to say the company was also very concerned and investigating. It was pretty clear he wasn't blaming the company despite not naming them.

Yep, he was just trying to make it a derp state thing...

Exactly, though I am curious as to where and in what state the documents were found.
UPS hasn't stated that.

I seriously doubt it's a "Deep State" thing, but I am curious.


Seriously doubt huh.... you actually in any way believe that there is a "deep state"?

Son, people can see you...
 
2020-10-29 4:19:24 PM  

dracos31: MattytheMouse: It's his dick in a box.

How did they make a box small enough?


The box size doesn't matter. More about making the material of the box thin enough so his dick can go inside
 
2020-10-29 4:20:45 PM  
So there was only one copy of the "evidence"?
 
2020-10-29 4:21:03 PM  

On-Farkin-On: Mikey1969: Weird Hal: [denofgeek.com image 768x432]
Package tampering

Is there a way to watch just that segment without having to watch some stupid Borat shiat? I'm really interested in whole segment, considering Rudy's really lame attempts at explaining it away.

It's very near the end of the movie if you don't want to watch the whole thing.  The last half hour was better than the first hour in my opinion, but I too watched it more for the Rudy scene.  The stills are more damning than the video, I think he was tucking, not fluffing.  But he was definitely creeping on her and would have let it go further had the opportunity presented itself.


Thanks, that gives me a place to look.
 
2020-10-29 4:22:59 PM  

JustToLetYouKnowFriend: CanisNoir: Mikey1969: CanisNoir: Mikey1969: Nah, he just said a "major carrier". I think everyone collectively uses "lost in the mail" as a generic term. But I watched the video when the story first broke here, he mentioned that it was a major shipping carrier without naming anyone specific. I think someone pointed out that naming names could result in a lawsuit.

He also went out of his way to say the company was also very concerned and investigating. It was pretty clear he wasn't blaming the company despite not naming them.

Yep, he was just trying to make it a derp state thing...

Exactly, though I am curious as to where and in what state the documents were found.
UPS hasn't stated that.

I seriously doubt it's a "Deep State" thing, but I am curious.

Seriously doubt huh.... you actually in any way believe that there is a "deep state"?

Son, people can see you...


I think the OP meant more "I seriously doubt that someone purposely farked with it just because they saw" FoxNews on the label.". I would say 'deep state' being in quotes should have clued you in.
 
2020-10-29 4:25:09 PM  

On-Farkin-On: Mikey1969: Weird Hal: [denofgeek.com image 768x432]
Package tampering

Is there a way to watch just that segment without having to watch some stupid Borat shiat? I'm really interested in whole segment, considering Rudy's really lame attempts at explaining it away.

It's very near the end of the movie if you don't want to watch the whole thing.  The last half hour was better than the first hour in my opinion, but I too watched it more for the Rudy scene.  The stills are more damning than the video, I think he was tucking, not fluffing.  But he was definitely creeping on her and would have let it go further had the opportunity presented itself.


Not gonna spoil it, but the best scene is after his daughter eats the cupcake.

That is not a euphemism, but there is a metaphor perched on top.

I was hypoxic with laughter...
 
2020-10-29 4:25:58 PM  
This whole thing is hilarious. Tucker Carlson is a garbage human on his best day. I love that UPS announced to the world that pharker's package has been recovered. If they hadn't, I guarantee you he never would have reported the return of his "documents" because he would have gotten way more mileage out of the Deep State bullshiat.
 
2020-10-29 4:27:57 PM  

knuckleankle: This whole thing is hilarious. Tucker Carlson is a garbage human on his best day. I love that UPS announced to the world that pharker's package has been recovered. If they hadn't, I guarantee you he never would have reported the return of his "documents" because he would have gotten way more mileage out of the Deep State bullshiat.


Yea, I suspect he didn't expect that, either.

And it'd be great if the package contained, oh, I dunno... crepe recipes.
 
2020-10-29 4:33:32 PM  

Smoking GNU: It's a bunch of dildos, innit?


Can confirm.
 
2020-10-29 4:33:50 PM  

dadio86: UPS CEO David Abney is a HUGE Trump supporter.  This is about to explode into a massive bullshiat bomb.


I was guessing that after reading their press release. What a crock of shiat.
 
2020-10-29 4:51:02 PM  
The only people who will be remotely influences by this are already voting for trump

/Rubes and simpletons
 
2020-10-29 4:55:52 PM  

Sandman7678: Tucker finally found his package.


And it was bent, disappointing, and much smaller than Tucker wanted us to believe.
 
2020-10-29 4:57:36 PM  

Petey4335: Why couldn't the 'evidence' ship electronically?


Always mount a scratch monkey.
 
2020-10-29 5:02:46 PM  

Circusdog320: Oh it's been tampered with.


media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 5:35:23 PM  

Bigdogdaddy: [Fark user image image 750x600]

If it's from the tRump administration, I'm sure it's this.


Well this is bullshiat. I posted this Fark classic a while back and it got deleted because "we don't joke about rape"
 
2020-10-29 5:57:50 PM  

Iggie: FleshMonkey: Tucker- crap, this is all useless and we hyped it up so much. What do we do?

Idea guy- Let's mail it for no reason but put it in an unsealed envelope so it gets lost in the way. Then we never have to show it and we can blame a conspiracy.

Tucker - Do it!

UPS - Found your package.

Tucker- Curses, foiled again.

That's a good take.  Or how about this one?

Idea guy - Let's mail a pre-opened, empty envelope and not even bother with documents.  Wouldn't want any actual proof floating around out there.

Tucker  - Do it!

UPS - No damn way you are going to rope us into your mail fraud scheme.  Find your "documents", send a correction to the press, and leave us out of this shiat or find yourself on the receiving end of a lawsuit.

Tucker - Ruh roh, Raggy!


Very nice take.
 
2020-10-29 6:01:30 PM  
Life could be worse.

You could be as miserable as Cucker Tarlson.

How miserable must one have to be, to be wealthy AND miserable?

/He must have some penis trauma or something
 
2020-10-29 6:03:30 PM  

dadio86: DoctorCal: dadio86: UPS CEO David Abney is a HUGE Trump supporter.  This is about to explode into a massive bullshiat bomb.

Executive Chairman - Carol Tomé has been CEO for a few months FWIW.

https://www.campaignmoney.com/politica​l/contributions/carol-tome.asp?cycle=2​0

She's no better


I mean, she had a career as a Home Depot. exec. That's what I expected.
 
2020-10-29 6:56:09 PM  

dracos31: MattytheMouse: It's his dick in a box.

How did they make a box small enough?


Have you ever bought a ring at a jewelry store? That box would be about the right size.
 
Displayed 50 of 109 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.