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(Mirror.co.uk)   If you get out of a DUI by claiming your girlfriend is dead, you might want to actually make sure she's dead, lest she answer the door when police visit   (mirror.co.uk) divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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1810 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Oct 2020 at 3:29 PM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



34 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-10-29 3:30:41 PM  
BANG
OK, now what?
 
2020-10-29 3:32:52 PM  

WelldeadLink: BANG
OK, now what?


Done in 1.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 3:36:17 PM  
Well... she got better
 
2020-10-29 3:37:52 PM  
It's a miracle!
 
2020-10-29 3:39:56 PM  
She wants to go for a walk.
 
2020-10-29 3:41:15 PM  
Step 1.  Kill girlfriend
Step 2.  Get drunk
Step 3.  Go for a leisurely drive


Do I have that right, or do I need to switch steps one and two?
 
2020-10-29 3:43:28 PM  
????
She looks dead to me!!!?
 
2020-10-29 3:43:36 PM  
If you get out of a DUI at all, consider it a miracle.
 
2020-10-29 3:44:06 PM  
*looks at pic*

Yeah, I'd claim my girlfriend was dead too if she looked like that.
 
2020-10-29 3:44:12 PM  
No one bothered to farking check on his story?
 
2020-10-29 3:44:16 PM  
She looks lifeless in the cover photo, so not sure what to believe.

A doll's eyes.
 
2020-10-29 3:45:53 PM  
Wow, that guys is (looks wise) way out of her league.


/nohomo
 
2020-10-29 3:46:34 PM  
Ain't nothing.  One guy really killed his girlfriend accidentally in a car accident, and cut her up and put her parts on ice in cooler, and drove around for a couple of weeks, and when they finally pulled him over he was holding her hand.

This song commemorates that  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v​=cTpmU8​bZnXY
 
2020-10-29 3:47:46 PM  
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Are... Are we sure she's alive?

*shudder*
 
2020-10-29 3:50:50 PM  
She definitely looks surprised!
 
2020-10-29 3:51:02 PM  
Cant he just say it was his side piece, I mean he had to move on with his life at that point.
 
2020-10-29 3:54:32 PM  
Not her, my girlfriend in Canada.

/you wouldn't know her - especially now that she's dead.
 
2020-10-29 3:54:58 PM  

Calypsocookie: [Fark user image 425x221]

Are... Are we sure she's alive?

*shudder*


She looks like she got Joker-gassed.
 
2020-10-29 3:55:39 PM  
What's "her" crossdresser cabaret stage name?

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2020-10-29 3:57:44 PM  
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2020-10-29 4:01:07 PM  
Apparently, some guy in Stepford is missing a wife.
 
2020-10-29 4:01:22 PM  

Gotfire: [Fark user image 425x489][Fark user image 384x338]


Great minds, etc.
 
2020-10-29 4:05:05 PM  
Jesus fark y'all. Usually it's MY comments that get deleted.

She has cystic fibrosis. She can't exactly go jumping on a treadmill.

Dude is her caregiver. I'm sure she wasn't "out of his league" before her diagnosis and subsequent weight gain.
 
2020-10-29 4:12:32 PM  
Drinking and driving is bad but I fully understand the drinking part after looking at the pictures.
 
2020-10-29 4:13:18 PM  

Robinfro: Jesus fark y'all. Usually it's MY comments that get deleted.

She has cystic fibrosis. She can't exactly go jumping on a treadmill.

Dude is her caregiver. I'm sure she wasn't "out of his league" before her diagnosis and subsequent weight gain.


It's not about her weight, it's about impersonating a clown.
 
2020-10-29 4:18:47 PM  
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2020-10-29 4:20:52 PM  

yomrfark: Wow, that guys is (looks wise) way out of her league.


/nohomo


Her head game is strong or she's rich
/I kid, maybe she's just nice
 
2020-10-29 4:26:26 PM  
So then you rush home and kill her.  You go to prison for murder but at least you beat the DUI and you'll have something to brag about while behind bars.
 
2020-10-29 4:42:04 PM  
Claim she's her twin, whom you've also been having sex with. Cops will be so jealous you farking twins.
 
2020-10-29 4:52:55 PM  

abhorrent1: What's "her" crossdresser cabaret stage name?

[Fark user image 480x482]


She looks just Divine.
 
2020-10-29 5:22:36 PM  
Wrong girlfriend, officer.
 
2020-10-29 5:25:08 PM  
I'm sure he was drinking for her benefit.

images-na.ssl-images-amazon.comView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 5:46:54 PM  

Calypsocookie: [Fark user image 425x221]

Are... Are we sure she's alive?

*shudder*


Reminds me I have to stop by the morgue this weekend for...................something.
 
2020-10-29 5:47:01 PM  
Don't make her start to cry....
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
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