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(Local10 WPLG)   Surely, the leopard won't eat *my* face   (local10.com) divider line
    More: Florida  
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5570 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Oct 2020 at 3:05 AM (3 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



62 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-10-28 9:17:50 PM  
Got me subby
 
2020-10-28 9:18:00 PM  
Well, he got what he paid for.
 
2020-10-28 9:23:49 PM  
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.
 
2020-10-28 9:24:24 PM  
Wher Florida tag wher.
 
2020-10-28 9:40:55 PM  
Was he trying to have sex with it?
 
2020-10-28 10:56:30 PM  
"full-contact experience"

Well, can't say he didn't get his money's worth.
 
2020-10-29 12:41:00 AM  
May be worth it, to make such a dangerous meme in the abstract, into a reality.
 
2020-10-29 3:09:24 AM  
I clicked on the link thinking and hoping to myself, "Please be an actual leopard, please be an actual leopard,..."
JACKPOT!
 
2020-10-29 3:13:42 AM  

NeoCortex42: "full-contact experience"

Well, can't say he didn't get his money's worth.


Ayup.  Play stupid games, etc.
 
2020-10-29 3:21:22 AM  
Life imitates art.
 
2020-10-29 3:42:07 AM  

Ronnie_Zman: I clicked on the link thinking and hoping to myself, "Please be an actual leopard, please be an actual leopard,..."
JACKPOT!


meme-generator.comView Full Size
 
2020-10-29 3:48:49 AM  
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2020-10-29 3:51:19 AM  
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2020-10-29 3:51:53 AM  
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2020-10-29 3:58:53 AM  
The injuries were so severe, the report says the victim's scalp was "hanging from his head and his right ear was torn in half."

Was the leopard snorting bath salts?
 
2020-10-29 4:06:41 AM  
It was a once in a lifetime experience and he'll probably never experience anything like it again.
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2020-10-29 4:13:13 AM  
Maybe he was just trying to see the plans for the hyperspace bypass.
 
2020-10-29 4:20:21 AM  
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2020-10-29 4:21:12 AM  
I see Davie hasn't changed much in the past 40 years...
 
2020-10-29 4:30:15 AM  
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I suppose these two sentences aren't technically contradictory but it still made my brain hurt.
 
2020-10-29 4:38:04 AM  

ryant123: [Fark user image 395x395]


right? that giant stupid puss at the bottom of TFA scared me out of a years growth.
 
2020-10-29 4:43:45 AM  

Day_Old_Dutchie: [Fark user image image 800x540]


Well lah-dee-dah, someone had to go and find a picture. :)

God I love those books.
 
2020-10-29 4:50:50 AM  
What's up with Americans and dangerous large cat predator? some kind of power fantasy?
 
2020-10-29 4:59:19 AM  

doosh: [Fark user image 820x71]

I suppose these two sentences aren't technically contradictory but it still made my brain hurt.


Pretty simple, he is allowed to own a leopard, he is not allowed to feed members of the public to the leopard, no matter how stupid they are.
 
2020-10-29 5:04:23 AM  

TappingTheVein: What's up with Americans and dangerous large cat predator? some kind of power fantasy?


Nah.  Just plain, ole stupid 'merica stuff.  I'm starting to really second guess my family's decision to migrate here from Italy some 50 years ago.  I'm finally understanding the whole "dumbass Americans" mindset of Europeans.  I used to be a proud American.  Now I'm just embarrassed to be in the same category as idiots like this.
 
2020-10-29 5:11:20 AM  
He should count himself lucky he didn't pay for the deluxe package.
 
2020-10-29 5:32:08 AM  
♫♫ tame me, tie me
(And I lust, animal) make me your animal
(And I want, and I need) show me, stroke me
(And I lust, animal) let me be your animal ♫♫
 
2020-10-29 5:32:39 AM  
One of the few times that the word "literally" can be accurately used.
 
2020-10-29 5:42:41 AM  

whatdafarkisthis: TappingTheVein: What's up with Americans and dangerous large cat predator? some kind of power fantasy?

Nah.  Just plain, ole stupid 'merica stuff.  I'm starting to really second guess my family's decision to migrate here from Italy some 50 years ago.  I'm finally understanding the whole "dumbass Americans" mindset of Europeans.  I used to be a proud American.  Now I'm just embarrassed to be in the same category as idiots like this.


I've let my US passport lapse and don't intend to renew it.  Unfortunately I'm a Brit, stuck with Brexiteer morons in a country that is on the same downward slope, so my options are being whittled down.  Helloooooooooo Irish passport.
 
2020-10-29 6:01:48 AM  
Sherly the leopard? Must be Def's little sister.
 
2020-10-29 6:42:48 AM  
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2020-10-29 6:54:26 AM  
The sign on the disused lavatory door (the one with the locked filing cabinet) saying 'Beware of the Leopard', well they meant it Mr Dent.
 
2020-10-29 7:07:17 AM  
Hahahaholyballs! I was just imagining the transaction between head-eaten victim and the leopard owner prior to the incident. "So, it'll be $150 for an all-inclusive, immersive leopard experience, plus tax of course." "Sweet. So, I can like, do anything with it?" "Yeah, anything you want, man." "Cool. Welp, here I go!" "ROWRRRR!!!!!" (Gnawgnawbitebitegnaw) "GAAAAAAAAAAAOHHHHGOD!GETHIMOFFMEHE'SS​OANGRY!"
 
2020-10-29 7:08:34 AM  

NeoCortex42: "full-contact experience"

Well, can't say he didn't get his money's worth.


Kitty got playful when he had his belly rubbed, 'nuff said.

Any damned fool who has ever played with a kitten should damned well know they would easily and joyfully kill you if they were a 100lb bigger.  I don'timagine barely trained 'big cats' are gentler than a fuzzy kitten.
 
2020-10-29 7:10:47 AM  

GrogSmash: NeoCortex42: "full-contact experience"

Well, can't say he didn't get his money's worth.

Kitty got playful when he had his belly rubbed, 'nuff said.

Any damned fool who has ever played with a kitten should damned well know they would easily and joyfully kill you if they were a 100lb bigger.  I don'timagine barely trained 'big cats' are gentler than a fuzzy kitten.


ESPECIALLY leopards whose MO is bite the head for restraint, hence the scalp injury - most common non-fatal injury from leopard attacks I think I read in a National Geographic years ago, and use their back legs to disembowel.
 
2020-10-29 7:12:24 AM  

dammitbobby: Hahahaholyballs! I was just imagining the transaction between head-eaten victim and the leopard owner prior to the incident. "So, it'll be $150 for an all-inclusive, immersive leopard experience, plus tax of course." "Sweet. So, I can like, do anything with it?" "Yeah, anything you want, man." "Cool. Welp, here I go!" "ROWRRRR!!!!!" (Gnawgnawbitebitegnaw) "GAAAAAAAAAAAOHHHHGOD!GETHIMOFFMEHE'SS​OANGRY!"


"Sit down Kieran!".

I wonder if he was wearing a Crystal Gayle T-Shirt?

/I know, that was a mountain lion not a leopard.
//Do I get in trouble for not doing 3 slashies?
 
2020-10-29 7:16:44 AM  

bughunter: [Fark user image image 540x334]


Isn't this picture of a cheetah? Am I missing something?

\ I had my picture taken with a leopard when I was a kid.
\\ I didn't get mauled
\\\ Nor did it cost so much
 
2020-10-29 7:19:56 AM  
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I'll only charge you $75 to touch this guy. But, fair warning, he does bite your hand and paddle you with his back feet when you touch his belly.
 
2020-10-29 7:26:30 AM  
Did these people not watch the scholarly, fact-filled documentary on the risks of interacting with large felines?

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2020-10-29 7:27:40 AM  
"full-contact experience"
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2020-10-29 7:29:32 AM  
I'd wager his last words before entering the cage were "Hold my beer".
 
2020-10-29 7:32:06 AM  
"Don't kid yourself Jimmy, if a leopard ever got the chance he'd eat you and everyone you cared about!"
 
2020-10-29 7:39:14 AM  

IgG4: Was he trying to have sex with it?


You think he's f*cked now, wait until he gets the hospital bill...
 
2020-10-29 8:17:52 AM  

sinko swimo: ryant123: [Fark user image 395x395]

right? that giant stupid puss at the bottom of TFA scared me out of a years growth.


The eyes...
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2020-10-29 8:38:17 AM  
I actually live 5 minutes away from this place.

Knew they sold monkeys, had no idea about the flesh eating battle cat.

And - no.  It isn't in the middle of a trailer park. It's smack in the middle of a nice suburban neighborhood, which really just adds to the bizarre factor.
 
2020-10-29 8:47:54 AM  

ralanprod: I actually live 5 minutes away from this place.

Knew they sold monkeys, had no idea about the flesh eating battle cat.

And - no.  It isn't in the middle of a trailer park. It's smack in the middle of a nice suburban neighborhood, which really just adds to the bizarre factor.


Sounds like a zoning violation.
 
2020-10-29 8:54:02 AM  
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2020-10-29 8:59:46 AM  
He should have sprung for at least the $300 "Minimal Contact" package, or maybe even the $500 "Keep that large predator the hell away from me" package.
 
2020-10-29 9:04:08 AM  
Hopefully the leopard doesn't get put down just for doing, you know, leopard stuff.
 
2020-10-29 9:23:47 AM  
"If my neighbor had a leopard in his back yard I would pay him $150 to pet it. I'm sure someone keeping a leopard at their suburban home is an intelligent and careful person."
- Florida Man
 
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