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(Twitter)   Now the Twitter leopards are eating senator Ron Johnson's face   (twitter.com) divider line
    More: Ironic  
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4094 clicks; posted to Politics » on 28 Oct 2020 at 9:40 PM (3 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-10-28 7:55:38 PM  
Original Tweet:

 
2020-10-28 9:05:51 PM  
Russian Ron Johnson wrecked my apartment, ate a bunch of asparagus, and pissed in my dryer the last time I asked him to water the plants when I was away.

/And to top it off, the ficus died.
 
2020-10-28 9:13:29 PM  
I heard Ron Johnson was with Glenn Beck when he raped and murdered a young girl back in 1990.
 
2020-10-28 9:13:47 PM  
Womp Womp...
 
2020-10-28 9:24:38 PM  
Thoughts and prayers....
 
2020-10-28 9:24:46 PM  
I heard Ron Johnson had a teary phone call with Vlad after this and the sobfest was so lengthy Putin had to pass it down to other oligarchs to handle.
 
2020-10-28 9:41:07 PM  
Ron Johnson cancelled Firefly.
 
2020-10-28 9:42:33 PM  
Ron Johnson is responsible for Windows ME and Vista.
 
2020-10-28 9:43:03 PM  
Ron Johnson mailed my head to the floor.
 
2020-10-28 9:43:19 PM  
The president lying about people and getting others to threaten them, try to kill them and kidnap them, still OK right?
 
2020-10-28 9:43:22 PM  
Ron Johnson's mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits around the house.
 
2020-10-28 9:43:31 PM  
Ron Johnson beefs in the shower and heels it down the drain.
 
2020-10-28 9:44:24 PM  
Did I ever tell you about the time Ron Johnson showed up at my daughter's wedding? You know my daughter, she's a beautiful girl. Well, Johnson shows up and you know he's a big fella. Well, he's standing right between me and my daughter at the ceremony. He's got no right to be there, but he's drunk and he's Johnson. Well, long story short, the priest accidentally marries me and Johnson. We spend the weekend in the Poconos - he loved me like I've never been loved before.
 
2020-10-28 9:45:40 PM  
Mrs. Krabappel and Ron Johnson were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.
 
2020-10-28 9:45:46 PM  
Ron Johnson ate the plums that were in the icebox and which you were probably saving for breakfast. They were so sweet and so delicious and so cold #sorrynotsorry
 
2020-10-28 9:46:00 PM  

EL EM: Ron Johnson mailed my head to the floor.


How long did it take to get there?
 
2020-10-28 9:46:13 PM  
Ron Johnson turned me into a newt
 
2020-10-28 9:46:13 PM  
He still hasn't denied it.
 
2020-10-28 9:46:16 PM  

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: I heard Ron Johnson had a teary phone call with Vlad after this and the sobfest was so lengthy Putin had to pass it down to other oligarchs to handle.


I'm picturing the call with Corbin's mom at the end of 5th Element, except it's a bunch of Russians taking turns mumbling "mhmmm" as the phone cries endlessly.
 
2020-10-28 9:46:23 PM  
Ron Johnson came over, left an upper decker in my toilet, drank from the milk carton and hid my TV remote.  What an asshole.
 
2020-10-28 9:46:56 PM  
Ron Johnson's no Don Johnson
 
2020-10-28 9:46:58 PM  

cretinbob: Ron Johnson turned me into a newt


You got better.
 
2020-10-28 9:47:05 PM  
I heard Ron Johnson farked a goat one time. So now he is not known as "Senator" Ron Johnson. but "goat-farker" Johnson.
 
2020-10-28 9:47:06 PM  

EL EM: Ron Johnson mailed my head to the floor.


And given the state of the post office it won't arrive until next week.
 
2020-10-28 9:47:10 PM  

cretinbob: Ron Johnson turned me into a newt


A newt?
 
2020-10-28 9:47:21 PM  
Oh Ron Johnson!
 
2020-10-28 9:47:24 PM  
Ron Johnson's first time was a threesome with Jerry Falwell and his mom in the family outhouse.
 
2020-10-28 9:47:38 PM  

palelizard: EL EM: Ron Johnson mailed my head to the floor.

How long did it take to get there?


Weeks. The damned sorters got scrapped.
 
2020-10-28 9:47:39 PM  
Ron Johnson is so dumb, it takes him three hours to watch 60 Minutes.
 
2020-10-28 9:47:55 PM  
this could be some serious Barbara Streisand effect stuff
 
2020-10-28 9:48:19 PM  
Ron Johnson got drunk and took a shiat in my tuba.
 
2020-10-28 9:48:23 PM  

GanjSmokr: Did I ever tell you about the time Ron Johnson showed up at my daughter's wedding? You know my daughter, she's a beautiful girl. Well, Johnson shows up and you know he's a big fella. Well, he's standing right between me and my daughter at the ceremony. He's got no right to be there, but he's drunk and he's Johnson. Well, long story short, the priest accidentally marries me and Johnson. We spend the weekend in the Poconos - he loved me like I've never been loved before.


At least he takes the sanctity of marriage seriously.
 
2020-10-28 9:49:00 PM  
Ron Johnson suffocated my COVID-stricken brother with a My Pillow.
 
2020-10-28 9:49:37 PM  
Ron Johnson lost his virginity booking in a Devil's Triangle with Kavenaugh and Squee.
 
2020-10-28 9:49:38 PM  
Ron Johnson is so dumb, he stared at a juice carton for hours because it said "concentrate."
 
2020-10-28 9:51:28 PM  

thedingoatemybaby: I heard Ron Johnson farked a goat one time. So now he is not known as "Senator" Ron Johnson. but "goat-farker" Johnson.

Allegedly...

 
2020-10-28 9:51:53 PM  
Sen. Ron Johnson was also choking his bird in the bathroom after that hearing.

Don't let him anywhere near any animals!
 
2020-10-28 9:51:58 PM  
Ron Johnson likes Nickleback.
 
2020-10-28 9:52:04 PM  

Frederf: Oh Ron Johnson!


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-28 9:52:09 PM  

cretinbob: Ron Johnson turned me into a newt


I hope you got better.
 
2020-10-28 9:52:37 PM  
Ron Johnson and an empty box of Kleenex was in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me
 
2020-10-28 9:52:55 PM  
Sen. Ron Johnson then went home and spent the evening in his lab.
 
2020-10-28 9:53:18 PM  

quatchi: Ron Johnson got drunk and took a shiat in my tuba.


He thought it was Trump's golden toilet.
 
2020-10-28 9:53:32 PM  
Ron Johnson actually reads all the linked articles.
 
2020-10-28 9:53:37 PM  
Senator Ron Johnson was CEO of Fyre Festival.

Ron Johnson programmed the Fyre App.
 
2020-10-28 9:54:31 PM  
Ron Johnson is the person responsible for convincing Dee Dee Ramone to release a rap album back in 1989.
 
2020-10-28 9:56:49 PM  
Ron Johnson filmed the pee tape.
 
2020-10-28 9:59:02 PM  
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
 
2020-10-28 9:59:52 PM  
Ron Johnson is why that website you frequent makes arbitrary, shiatty changes to their UI every farking year.
 
2020-10-28 10:00:29 PM  
Didn't this shiatbag say the nefarious Hunter Biden laptops had child porn?
 
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