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(Daily Star)   Just goes to show you, don't come to an armed illegal rooster cockfight to gather evidence of illegal activity with just some cooking recipes on your police notepad (possible nsfw content on page)   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line
    More: Scary  
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2199 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Oct 2020 at 7:47 PM (3 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



31 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-10-28 6:12:14 PM  
How could you be a cop doing this and not know about the razor blades?!
 
2020-10-28 7:52:21 PM  
Another dead cop?  Jeezy Creezy.
 
2020-10-28 7:54:11 PM  
Chicken and sliced pork.
 
2020-10-28 8:03:31 PM  
Sounds fake.
 
2020-10-28 8:05:04 PM  
Meh, happened to a guy in Texas just a year or two ago as well IIRC. Don't let cocks with blades near your cock! (groin is were the femoral artery is the most vulnerable)
 
2020-10-28 8:06:54 PM  

NM Volunteer: Another dead cop?  Jeezy Creezy.


Yeah, man. That Cock gets around!
 
2020-10-28 8:07:21 PM  
BAWK the blue?
 
2020-10-28 8:11:17 PM  
When you go in to take down a cockfighting operation, you bring along metal nets to trap the birds so you *don't* get ripped to shreds by the razor blades attached to the feet of the birds.
 
2020-10-28 8:11:53 PM  
Don't ever grab a cock unless you know where it's been.
And then when you do, look it in the eye so he knows you won't let go.
Once he feels safe, gently stroke the cock.
Now, that cock is yours.
 
2020-10-28 8:15:44 PM  
That's the most foul, cruel and tempered bird you've ever set eyes on...
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2020-10-28 8:19:59 PM  
Blue Lives Splatter?
 
2020-10-28 8:22:33 PM  

Herr Morgenstern: Blue Lives Splatter?


In retrospect, that was bad even for my standards. Like, he didn't even splatter. Maybe the blood, but a pun like that would work better if he'd been crushed under a boulder or something. I am ashamed, and I apologize.
 
2020-10-28 8:22:59 PM  

big pig peaches: Sounds fake.


Roosters naturally grow spurs on their legs that they use for fighting - both with other roosters and with predators that threaten their flock. So they instinctively know how to use them. They can fark you up, even though they're just bone and keratin.

In cockfighting they replace the bony spurs with razor sharp steel ones and they're absolutely deadly.
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2020-10-28 8:23:20 PM  
Not an American cop so Fark can mourn for this one.
 
2020-10-28 8:23:56 PM  
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2020-10-28 8:29:54 PM  
They are evil angry birds who's only saving grace is that they are tasty.
 
2020-10-28 8:41:18 PM  
There is a porn joke about "ripping you a new one" in there somewhere, but I'm way to tired to find it.
 
2020-10-28 8:47:30 PM  

big pig peaches: Sounds fake.


Eh, dude basically just got Steve Irwin'd. A moderately dangerous animal rolls a natural 20 and scores a crit. Not to mention the upgraded hardware the cock was packing.
 
2020-10-28 8:48:44 PM  

ClavellBCMI: When you go in to take down a cockfighting operation, you bring along metal nets to trap the birds so you *don't* get ripped to shreds by the razor blades attached to the feet of the birds.


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You must have had a fun childhood.
 
2020-10-28 8:57:37 PM  
F*ck their culture. And f*ck Spain's culture, too.
 
2020-10-28 8:59:00 PM  

stuffy: They are evil angry birds who's only saving grace is that they are tasty.


Not so much. Roosters tend to be lean, tough, and gamey. Barely good for soup.

That's why capons are a thing. Remove the rooster's testicles and he gets much more plump and tender.
 
2020-10-28 9:14:43 PM  
Cock-a-doodle-do, motherfarker.
 
2020-10-28 9:20:46 PM  

Mock26: F*ck their culture. And f*ck Spain's culture, too.


Are you always this dumb?
 
2020-10-28 9:50:43 PM  

Doctor Poop: Don't ever grab a cock unless you know where it's been.
And then when you do, look it in the eye so he knows you won't let go.
Once he feels safe, gently stroke the cock.
Now, that cock is yours.


You may think it's yours, but never turn your back to the cock. Trust me here.
 
2020-10-28 10:11:54 PM  
My cousin got regular old chicken bone spurred one year after accidentally brushing a mean ass-cock while swinging on the tire swing back on the family farm. Punctured him right between the ribs on his side to the hilt. After they got back from the hospital my uncle lit up that rooster with an old Russian SKS. Spurs were close to two inches long.
 
2020-10-28 10:42:03 PM  
"Lieutenant Bolock".
It's like these article writers are taunting us to call them out on their story.
 
2020-10-28 10:52:24 PM  

ImmutableTenderloin: Mock26: F*ck their culture. And f*ck Spain's culture, too.

Are you always this dumb?


You support cock fighting and bull fighting? If so then f*ck you, too.
 
2020-10-28 11:01:51 PM  

Percise1: Meh, happened to a guy in Texas just a year or two ago as well IIRC. Don't let cocks with blades near your cock! (groin is were the femoral artery is the most vulnerable)


What I learned from knife drills (notice I didn't say biology class) is that the femoral artery runs the inside of the thigh.
So unless:
1) the rooster got a weird angle on the strike and manage to cut the inside of the thigh
2) the guy pulled a Police Story and tried to break this up solo
3) every single person there ran away or ignored the guy for more than 3-5 minutes
4) there was nothing to tourniquet the thigh, not even a belt or a rope
Then I don't see this happening.
 
2020-10-28 11:06:59 PM  

Resident Muslim: 3) every single person there ran away or ignored the guy for more than 3-5 minutes


You mean the people being busted for an illegal cockfight?  (snrk)

Yeah, #3 is actually the only believable bit.
 
2020-10-28 11:48:32 PM  

Resident Muslim: Percise1: Meh, happened to a guy in Texas just a year or two ago as well IIRC. Don't let cocks with blades near your cock! (groin is were the femoral artery is the most vulnerable)

What I learned from knife drills (notice I didn't say biology class) is that the femoral artery runs the inside of the thigh.
So unless:
1) the rooster got a weird angle on the strike and manage to cut the inside of the thigh
2) the guy pulled a Police Story and tried to break this up solo
3) every single person there ran away or ignored the guy for more than 3-5 minutes
4) there was nothing to tourniquet the thigh, not even a belt or a rope
Then I don't see this happening.


I've chased and caught enough hens that I believe a rooster with razored spurs could have gotten him near the groin, too high for a tourniquet.  (That's where doctors enter your body to get at your heart these days, since the vein is so close to the surface.) #2 is still a pretty big question to be answered.
 
2020-10-29 12:53:24 AM  

Mock26: ImmutableTenderloin: Mock26: F*ck their culture. And f*ck Spain's culture, too.

Are you always this dumb?

Herp, derp, herp, derp.


You keep saying dumb things. Why do you hate yourself so much?
 
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