Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Onion)   Once again, a satire site understands our leadership better than the actual news media   (theonion.com) divider line
    More: Satire  
•       •       •

3883 clicks; posted to Politics » on 21 Oct 2020 at 11:18 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



37 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-10-21 3:03:53 AM  
Over/under on Trump adopting a pet to humanize his image only to get rid of it immediately after it serves its purpose?
 
2020-10-21 7:29:33 AM  
I thought that's what Lindsey Graham was.
 
2020-10-21 8:37:10 AM  
TIL that yes, even a rotting dog is prettier than Trump

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-21 8:38:35 AM  
<- Free "President"
 
2020-10-21 9:17:52 AM  
This is great.
 
2020-10-21 9:26:57 AM  
The Onion should be awarded a medal for somehow surviving writing satire during a time when the president is actually more ridiculous than any of their stories.
 
2020-10-21 10:22:05 AM  
If you want to hear about the Truth, there's no better place to find it than comedy. That's been a role of theirs all the way back to the court jester.
 
2020-10-21 11:17:44 AM  
Did he find it by a daycare?
 
2020-10-21 11:22:31 AM  
Oh, the media understands perfectly. They just don't care.

No time for unbiased reporting, we gotta get those rating$ and page click$, y'all!
 
2020-10-21 11:23:39 AM  
Because the actual news media still considers this asshole a curiosity instead of a liability.

They screwed up by holding to a "tradition" no one in the real world follows.
 
2020-10-21 11:23:59 AM  
"thanks buddy!"

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-21 11:25:16 AM  
I'm sure it was a rescue.
Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-21 11:25:34 AM  
Flopping the putrescent animal carcass down in the Oval Office with an introduction of "call him whatever you want, I don't care"

Nailed it.
 
2020-10-21 11:27:43 AM  
Poor doggo.
 
2020-10-21 11:29:28 AM  

Barfmaker: The Onion should be awarded a medal for somehow surviving writing satire during a time when the president is actually more ridiculous than any of their stories.


And for doing it in ways that are spot on, incisive, cutting, and hilarious. For over two decades now.
 
2020-10-21 11:29:34 AM  
That's his toupee
 
2020-10-21 11:31:13 AM  
Nice try but I already cast my vote for Champ & Major.
 
2020-10-21 11:32:03 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Do you suppose Trump even owns a pair of trainers?
 
2020-10-21 11:32:22 AM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2020-10-21 11:34:33 AM  

maldinero: I'm sure it was a rescue.
[Fark user image 850x566]
[Fark user image 669x523]


You forgot, Trump loves pussy, and he weighs 170 lbs.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-21 11:35:23 AM  
Drew requires that Satire tag for The Onion even though Obvious is often more appropriate.
 
2020-10-21 11:36:05 AM  

fragMasterFlash: [Fark user image 500x500]

Do you suppose Trump even owns a pair of trainers?


Sure, there's the guy that teaches his wife tennis, the guy that teaches his wife swimming, the guy that... Oh, you mean shoes. Um....
 
2020-10-21 11:36:36 AM  
The last line has me crying still, I haven't laughed that hard possibly ever
 
2020-10-21 11:45:13 AM  
shiathead.
pics.livejournal.comView Full Size
 
2020-10-21 11:49:51 AM  
A dead dog would have been a better President
 
2020-10-21 11:55:06 AM  

TheMysteriousStranger: Drew requires that Satire tag for The Onion even though Obvious is often more appropriate.


That's to make sure Trump doesn't tweet it as a real story, like he did with the Babylon Bee last week.
 
2020-10-21 11:59:41 AM  

Tomfoolery Rules Over Logical Living: TheMysteriousStranger: Drew requires that Satire tag for The Onion even though Obvious is often more appropriate.

That's to make sure Trump doesn't tweet it as a real story, like he did with the Babylon Bee last week.


Wat.
 
2020-10-21 12:07:00 PM  

Smirky the Wonder Chimp: Over/under on Trump adopting a pet to humanize his image only to get rid of it immediately after it serves its purpose?


He did already - there are 545 of them.  They are a little brown from all the sun, but just call out "Jesus" or "Maria" and they will come running with their little wet noses.

/did I do that right?
//I feel so slimy typing that!
///three for forgiveness
 
2020-10-21 12:09:30 PM  
Woofday Wetnose Wednesday, but Mr Spock has his little goatee on
 
2020-10-21 12:13:34 PM  
I didn't realize t was the onion until I read the article. That's our world now... thanks a lot you stupid, rotten bastard!
 
2020-10-21 12:15:32 PM  
"That's good, lie down. And stay down, okay? They say if you want a friend in Washington, get one of these-of course, I have friends already, so many friends, but here it is anyway. Here's a dog. Everyone says this breed is very loyal, so we'll see, we'll see. Could become the best dog any president has ever had. I'm told it has a great pedigree, and I'm expecting great things."

They nailed Trump's speech mannerisms. 👌
 
2020-10-21 12:21:32 PM  
It was alive when he adopted it. He only beat it to death after it took attention away from him.
 
2020-10-21 12:34:38 PM  

UNC_Samurai: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 259x194]


Showed up for this, leaving now.

"Yeah Rowdy, hit that!!"
 
2020-10-21 12:36:28 PM  
"At press time, Trump was seen kicking the dead dog's head down the West Wing Colonnade after internal polling showed its approval rating was higher than his. "

wow, that's brutal.
 
2020-10-21 1:10:27 PM  

Minor Catastrophe: "At press time, Trump was seen kicking the dead dog's head down the West Wing Colonnade after internal polling showed its approval rating was higher than his. "

wow, that's brutal.


awww, I came in here to post that line..  which btw was brilliant.
 
2020-10-21 1:30:14 PM  
Actually, I think the actual news media would be something like this:

WaPo: Trump adoption of dog criticized by Democrats
NYT (editorial by Mitch McConnell): The president adopts a helpless creature and Democrats complain
USA Today: What do you think about the president's dog?
Slate: What do Trump voters in Kentucky/Indiana/South Carolina/Texas think about the president's dog?
NY Post: What about Hunter Biden's dog? Seems suspiciously alive to us.
NBC: Up next, a special report on the president's adoption of a dog and what it means for the upcoming election.
ABC: Stay tuned as we announce the contestants on the next season of "Dancing with the Stars"!
CBS (Gayle King): I mean, forgive me for being blunt, but that dog is dead. Is that OK for me to say? That it's dead? I'm sure the president didn't mean to adopt a dead dog, but is it really for us to decide whether that's OK or not? Has R Kelly done anything lately that I can scold him about? This political shiat is just tiresome, y'all. I'm tired of it, I think we all are. (throws to Vlad Duthiers to pimp the next segment)
 
2020-10-21 7:18:12 PM  

Smelly Pirate Hooker: Actually, I think the actual news media would be something like this:

WaPo: Trump adoption of dog criticized by Democrats
NYT (editorial by Mitch McConnell): The president adopts a helpless creature and Democrats complain
USA Today: What do you think about the president's dog?
Slate: What do Trump voters in Kentucky/Indiana/South Carolina/Texas think about the president's dog?
NY Post: What about Hunter Biden's dog? Seems suspiciously alive to us.
NBC: Up next, a special report on the president's adoption of a dog and what it means for the upcoming election.
ABC: Stay tuned as we announce the contestants on the next season of "Dancing with the Stars"!
CBS (Gayle King): I mean, forgive me for being blunt, but that dog is dead. Is that OK for me to say? That it's dead? I'm sure the president didn't mean to adopt a dead dog, but is it really for us to decide whether that's OK or not? Has R Kelly done anything lately that I can scold him about? This political shiat is just tiresome, y'all. I'm tired of it, I think we all are. (throws to Vlad Duthiers to pimp the next segment)


BRAVO!
 
Displayed 37 of 37 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.