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(Slate)   "My daughter threatened to move out at 17 because she was angry at me and her dad; she rarely communicated, only when asking for money. She's always nasty and angry but wants to move in with me and says she's changed. Do I let her move in with me?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward  
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495 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 20 Oct 2020 at 12:33 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



19 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-10-20 9:08:27 AM  
Not without a full exorcism.
 
2020-10-20 9:14:28 AM  
Tell her you sought advice about her from Slate and your dilemma should disappear.
 
2020-10-20 12:16:11 PM  
Your daughter feels neglected and unwanted. She lashes out because her parents have sought love from other people and she has felt left out. She may be 19, but there is a small window of opportunity to show her this as she is an impressionable adult.

Let her live with you and work on the relationship. This is where you find out if you'll have a long term relationship with her or if you'll spend the next 30 years regretting you didn't.

I didn't say it would be easy. I only said it would be worth it.
 
2020-10-20 12:42:34 PM  
Written lease with eviction provisions. MAYBE.
 
2020-10-20 12:44:07 PM  
For some reason this is who I picture when thinking of the mother:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-20 12:47:30 PM  
Nope. Only been gone two years and isn't asking to come back because she had some epiphany, she's asking because she burned up the only other places of refuge with her shiat. Text her a link to the homeless shelter then block her number.
 
2020-10-20 12:56:11 PM  
I would recommend moving.
 
2020-10-20 1:20:08 PM  
Fark her dad.

Oh, wait.
 
2020-10-20 1:38:12 PM  
Tell her only if she works the corner, this rent ain't gonna pay itself.  Biatch slap her if she steps outa line.
 
2020-10-20 1:39:36 PM  
Tell her yeah, then give her a tent and sleeping bag to sleep in the backyard.
 
2020-10-20 1:42:58 PM  
"People in hell want ice water, too."
 
2020-10-20 1:47:43 PM  
1) She Can't Help It, She's Comin' Of Age: Sounds to me Nell is a bridge arsonist at large.  This isn't to say she's beyond help, but she has to want it and at this point, you haven't indicated evidence of this.  IF you let her move back in, there must be firm conditions with consequences that are served.  Personally, I think Nell needs to be told to FRO.

2) Now I Used To Call Her Cindy, She Changed Her Name To Sin: DTMFA.

3) Looks Like Everybody In This Whole Round World.  They're Down On Me: DTMFA

4) Ah Yes, The Safety Dance: Protect your kid, anyone complaining should be told to STFU and FRO.

5) A Whole New World, A New Fantastic Point Of View: GTHOI or DTMFA.  Your call.

6) And So The Conversation Turned Until The Sun Went Down: If you can't control the flow of conversation, then yeah, beg off.  But friends should accept "I don't wanna talk about it" as well.

7 & 8) Coming Of Age II & III: Oh do STFU and FRO with that projection. Insufficient data.

9) Same Old Situation II: As I said, DTMFA.

10) Now My Whole World Is Gone For Dead 'Cause I Can't Get It Out Of My Head, No How? (Classic): DTMFA.
 
2020-10-20 1:47:56 PM  
I guess the usual answer of "butt stuff" would be inappropriate here.
 
2020-10-20 2:36:13 PM  

Mugato: I guess the usual answer of "butt stuff" would be inappropriate here.


now, let's not be too hasty. Is the mom hot? The daughter is 19, i.e., legal. Film at 11. Remember; the family that plays together, stays together. Dad can work the camera.
 
2020-10-20 2:54:53 PM  
Charge enough rent to make it bearable.
 
2020-10-20 3:14:11 PM  
Yes, teenagers have a lot of hormones and emotions and arguments happen, but for the most part kids aren't demon seed. If it gets so bad the kid has to leave the house before 18, 99 times out of 100 the problem is the parents.

Two big red flags in that letter. One, the behavior took a big turn for the worse when the stepfather and kids enter the family. Two, the daughter complaining about a step-sibling eating habits is a problem, but the response calling the daughter fat is accepted?

I'm guessing the daughter didn't like being old and busted and lashed out at the new hotness.
 
2020-10-20 10:19:32 PM  

Nadie_AZ: Your daughter feels neglected and unwanted. She lashes out because her parents have sought love from other people and she has felt left out. She may be 19, but there is a small window of opportunity to show her this as she is an impressionable adult.
Let her live with you and work on the relationship. This is where you find out if you'll have a long term relationship with her or if you'll spend the next 30 years regretting you didn't.
I didn't say it would be easy. I only said it would be worth it.


Yup.  If you won't put out a hand to help her out now, nobody else is going to do it.  Or it will be some kind of person you would never, ever want to see in her life.

You're her parent and this is your unique responsibility.  You never stop being a parent, as they say.  If she hasn't threatened to kill you in your sleep, give her another chance.
 
2020-10-20 11:31:00 PM  

cryinoutloud: Nadie_AZ: Your daughter feels neglected and unwanted. She lashes out because her parents have sought love from other people and she has felt left out. She may be 19, but there is a small window of opportunity to show her this as she is an impressionable adult.
Let her live with you and work on the relationship. This is where you find out if you'll have a long term relationship with her or if you'll spend the next 30 years regretting you didn't.
I didn't say it would be easy. I only said it would be worth it.

Yup.  If you won't put out a hand to help her out now, nobody else is going to do it.  Or it will be some kind of person you would never, ever want to see in her life.

You're her parent and this is your unique responsibility.  You never stop being a parent, as they say.  If she hasn't threatened to kill you in your sleep, give her another chance.


i.redd.itView Full Size
 
2020-10-21 2:23:31 AM  

Russ1642: For some reason this is who I picture when thinking of the mother:

[Fark user image image 600x400]


Who I thought the mother was :

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
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