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(Bored Panda)   What big secret do you keep from your parents, even though you're an adult?   (boredpanda.com) divider line
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373 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 16 Oct 2020 at 10:33 PM (3 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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3 days ago  
They're not really my parents.
 
3 days ago  
I took care of my parents, and hid my tattoos from them, til they passed on, bc they were totally strict Baptists and I didn't want to deal with it. I was 60+ when I could finally wear tank tops.
 
3 days ago  
I switched myself with another baby in the hospital at birth.
 
3 days ago  
There are adopted.
 
3 days ago  
I'm sure I have stuff I've not told my mom (dad died years ago), but there's nothing I'm actively keeping secret from her.

My wife is keeping something serious from her mother, though. Her mom and aunt would just hassle her over it and she doesn't need that.
 
3 days ago  

roddikinsathome: There are adopted.


BOBDAMMIT!
 
3 days ago  
Folks are dead, yo.

So I guess they know all my secrets now?

Not sure about how heaven works.

JK, Atheist but not a dick about it.
 
3 days ago  
If the people who bought the house we lived in when I was kid, replace the bathroom cabinetry, they're going to find my porn stash.
 
3 days ago  
I'm the one who burned down the shed.
 
3 days ago  
My ex gf and I had a kid that was adopted out. We were on and off for a while, and she broke up with me. I found out when the adoption agency called me.

Full disclosure: I'm an adoptee, and I think we made the right choice. Now that both of my parents are gone (dad passed a month ago), I may finally tell my sisters.

/weird story, bro
 
3 days ago  

Sub Human: Folks are dead, yo.

So I guess they know all my secrets now?

Not sure about how heaven works.

JK, Atheist but not a dick about it.


Mine are dead now also. I try to keep that a secret from then when we talk while they tuck me in.
 
3 days ago  
I spent my teenage and young adult years trapped in a board game I was playing with the girl down the street.
 
3 days ago  
I know what *you* did last summer.
 
3 days ago  
I don't tell them anything unless I want them to quiz me about it every time I visit for the rest of my life.
 
3 days ago  
My parents are gone now but I suspect that no matter what I came up with, it would turn out they already knew.
 
3 days ago  
Everytime the knocked on the bathroom door, I was actually masterbating.

Every
Damn
Time.

/Even then
 
3 days ago  
I went to college near Canada and it was easy the to hop the border to get beer because no passport was required.  My dad insisted that I not leave the state because reasons and would have flipped his shiat had he known I left the country, let alone the state.  Fast forward 25 years (maybe 5 years ago) and he says "I'm surprised that all that time you spent up there and you never went into Canada" "No, I just never told you when I went up there." By this point it was completely irrelevant so we both had a good chuckle out of it.  He didn't ask why I went and I didn't tell him.
 
3 days ago  
I kept lots of secrets from my parents but they kept more secrets from me so I think it makes a null in the end.
 
3 days ago  
Probably how deep the rabbit hole went about 30-35 years ago.......
 
3 days ago  
Not really a *big* secret that I'm trying to hide, but I'm voting straight-ticket D for the first time ever. My parents are big Dolt45 supporters, and in the couple of times we've spoken this year I've avoided the topic because I just don't want to deal with the bullshiat. If they ask I'll tell them; but I'm not going to change their minds, they're not going to change mine, and we're each in solid red and blue states so it won't change the outcome anyway.
 
3 days ago  
Mom still doesn't know i ride motorcycles. ~15 years now.
 
3 days ago  
This is a stupid goddamn question.

I am the third of four children.   My older sisters were constantly in trouble, and farked up whenever they could.

My younger sister observed this, and learned from it.  What we learned is a simple rule called "Don't get caught."

So we didn't  We did all the same shiat as the older girls, but we put a little effort into covering our tracks.

So today, my mom always goes on and on about how much easier Little Sis and I were than older sisters.  We just nod and agree.

So what secrets do I keep from mom?  All of them.
 
3 days ago  

TommyDeuce: Everytime the knocked on the bathroom door, I was actually masterbating.

Every
Damn
Time.

/Even then


Username is masking something else he's actually doing when he's on Fark. Unless he's a toilet multitasker.
/ Why not both?
 
3 days ago  

Rent Party: This is a stupid goddamn question.

I am the third of four children.   My older sisters were constantly in trouble, and farked up whenever they could.

My younger sister observed this, and learned from it.  What we learned is a simple rule called "Don't get caught."

So we didn't  We did all the same shiat as the older girls, but we put a little effort into covering our tracks.

So today, my mom always goes on and on about how much easier Little Sis and I were than older sisters.  We just nod and agree.

So what secrets do I keep from mom?  All of them.


It used to baffle me, even as a child, how these politicians and corporations breaking the laws right and left, always kept letters and memos and records documenting all the things and people involved in their criminal activity.
"Dan, you know that "ABC" file that I have hidden under the false bottom of my desk drawer?  Make sure and write a memo to Todd and the boys detailing what we're doing in Libya.  Be sure to cc me on that, and if you have questions, leave a note in my in-box or leave a message on my answering machine so I can get back to you..."  And then their whole plot goes up in smoke because somebody was hitting the books for $200 in gas for their personal car and they got audited...
 
3 days ago  
I write erotic fanfic
 
3 days ago  
I am left-handed.  And play the bagpipes.
 
3 days ago  
I'm never telling my fundamentalist parents that I'm not religious.  That's drama I don't need in my life.

It'd be bad enough if they found out I'm a Democrat.
 
3 days ago  
Everything.....since they're dead.
 
3 days ago  
That I've had sex.
I've sworn the kids to secrecy.
 
3 days ago  
My sister and I still haven't told our dad that he's dead.
 
3 days ago  

darkhorse23: I took care of my parents, and hid my tattoos from them, til they passed on, bc they were totally strict Baptists and I didn't want to deal with it. I was 60+ when I could finally wear tank tops.


I know that feeling.  Currently taking care of my mom.  My family are very much devout Muslims.  I have tattoos covering my whole upper body and arms to my elbows.  I have to wear long sleeve shirts, and make sure I'm covered coming out of the shower.  Telling them about it would destroy them, so got to keep it quiet.

I care about them, but I also hope I don't have to wait until I'm 60+.  Keeping secrets from them gives me bad dreams where my tattoos are exposed to my family and I'm desperately trying to cover up.
 
3 days ago  

WelldeadLink: That I've had sex.
I've sworn the kids to secrecy.


Sex? The kids?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
3 days ago  
That I'm not broke.

My family is a bunch of leeches. None of them need to know that I'm doing well. They think I rent my house, that I am just scraping by to keep the kids in a good school zone and that I barely have a nickel to spare.

It's sad the it has to be that way, but it's the only way that I'm able to keep my mom in my life and not get sucked dry.
 
3 days ago  
When I was in high school, my mother had a full-blood AKC-papered Yorkshire Terrier named Bandit that was a horny little pain in the ass that kept digging under the fence.  One day, he got out and we couldn't locate him. We went looking for him, put up flyers, etc. No luck.

A couple of weeks later, I was delivering pizzas about 10 miles away in a shiatty trailer park and thought I saw him being walked. I stopped and talked to the lady walking him and, using the pretense of petting him, verified his name from his collar. Then went on my way.

You are the first people I've told in 37 years.
 
3 days ago  
There are a bunch of things, but I'm pretty sure my dad reads fark and would recognise my username, so they'll have to stay secret, sorry.
 
3 days ago  

Thosw: When I was in high school, my mother had a full-blood AKC-papered Yorkshire Terrier named Bandit that was a horny little pain in the ass that kept digging under the fence.  One day, he got out and we couldn't locate him. We went looking for him, put up flyers, etc. No luck.

A couple of weeks later, I was delivering pizzas about 10 miles away in a shiatty trailer park and thought I saw him being walked. I stopped and talked to the lady walking him and, using the pretense of petting him, verified his name from his collar. Then went on my way.

You are the first people I've told in 37 years.


You win the thread, man.

Here is your trophy.

cdn.logfurnitureplace.comView Full Size
 
3 days ago  

Rent Party: Thosw: When I was in high school, my mother had a full-blood AKC-papered Yorkshire Terrier named Bandit that was a horny little pain in the ass that kept digging under the fence.  One day, he got out and we couldn't locate him. We went looking for him, put up flyers, etc. No luck.

A couple of weeks later, I was delivering pizzas about 10 miles away in a shiatty trailer park and thought I saw him being walked. I stopped and talked to the lady walking him and, using the pretense of petting him, verified his name from his collar. Then went on my way.

You are the first people I've told in 37 years.

You win the thread, man.

Here is your trophy.

[cdn.logfurnitureplace.com image 750x750]



You just *had* to post that pic when I'm a couple of cocktails into the evening.

/Brought a tear of laughter to that eye.
//I almost spit out some good scotch
 
3 days ago  
If I won't tell my mom, why would I tell you?
 
3 days ago  
It was not that it was canned : I poisoned the salmon mousse.
 
3 days ago  
My father used to steal money off of my dresser to teach me a lesson about properly securing it.

My parents kept a bank envelope in a cupboard.

Every time my dad stole from me, I secretly taught him a bigger lesson. Good times.
 
3 days ago  
Up until a month ago - that I am transgender and beginning transition. It felt really good to have that stone off my neck after 40 years.
 
3 days ago  
That my psychotic biatch of a sister sexually abused me when I was around 5 or 6 and she was 16. It would kill my mother (she knows what happened but not who did it), and my father wouldn't believe me or care.
 
3 days ago  
I haven't spoken to my dad in over ten years, so there's that.
 
3 days ago  
There are very few "adults" here.
 
3 days ago  

LaChanz: There are very few "adults" here.


Fine.

I still haven't told my parents that my stepbrother tried to stick his penis into my mouth one night when we were having to sleep in the same bed.

You're the first people I've told that to in 40 years. To this day, my mother *still* thinks he's the least bad of my dad's four boys.
 
3 days ago  

Thosw: LaChanz: There are very few "adults" here.

Fine.

I still haven't told my parents that my stepbrother tried to stick his penis into my mouth one night when we were having to sleep in the same bed.

You're the first people I've told that to in 40 years. To this day, my mother *still* thinks he's the least bad of my dad's four boys.


If that's to try to prove me wrong somehow, I don't get it. We all have had trauma.
 
3 days ago  
Nice try, Mom.

Actually, my parents have departed this world. But someone had to say "Nice try, Mom."
 
3 days ago  

aaronx: If I won't tell my mom, why would I tell you?


[insert 'your mom' joke here]


/
 
3 days ago  
I never hide anything from anybody. It's a great feeling to not just say it, but to actually not care what anybody thinks about what you do. I don't care what anyone else does either. It's none of my business what anybody else does. Nor is it anyone's else's business what do. Obviously, I am speaking of legal activities.
 
3 days ago  
I'm A Boy (Mono)
Youtube KkMoNrIQLOg
 
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