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(Vice)   You wouldn't download a grape   (vice.com) divider line
    More: Asinine  
•       •       •

1302 clicks; posted to STEM » on 16 Oct 2020 at 3:25 PM (8 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



30 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-10-16 1:42:41 PM  
Avast ye scurvy dogs, aye be a grape and movie pirate! To Hollywood, then to Napa. All ye ships beware the Jolly Roger, and the coat of lamb, stand down and prepare to be boarded. We takes no prisoners, ye'all shall be keelhauled and made to walk the plank.
 
2020-10-16 2:09:01 PM  
"The recipient of the produce contained in this package agrees not to propagate or reproduce any portion of this produce, including 'but not limited to' seeds, stems, tissue, and fruit,"

All this tells me is, hot damn, I can buy viable grapes at the market!  Cool!  Alot of market fruit isn't viable to propagate on your own.
 
2020-10-16 2:25:12 PM  
I would totally download rice, though. (Warning, NSFW language)

The Thick of It - Time travel
Youtube sCN6K60F64M
 
2020-10-16 3:26:09 PM  
I don't know, what kind of grape is it? Is it a moscato wine grape? Because that would save me money and my girlfriend and I could make our own wine.
 
2020-10-16 3:44:23 PM  
I absolutely would download a grape.

'Cause that's some Star Trek replicator-level shiat right there.  I'd be downloading all kinds of stuff.   Chicken sandwiches and coffee, minus the tribbles.  Tea, Earl Grey, hot.  Stella Mudd sexbots.  You name it.
 
2020-10-16 3:57:04 PM  

dittybopper: I absolutely would download a grape.

'Cause that's some Star Trek replicator-level shiat right there.  I'd be downloading all kinds of stuff.   Chicken sandwiches and coffee, minus the tribbles.  Tea, Earl Grey, hot.  Stella Mudd sexbots.  You name it.


Just stay away from the tomato soup unless you have all goddamn day.
 
2020-10-16 4:04:54 PM  
That's just what I need, perishable toner.
 
2020-10-16 4:11:31 PM  

sxacho: That's just what I need, perishable toner.


Perishable Toner is the name of my Death Metal/Tone Loc mashup band.

We're based in funky cold Messina, NY.
 
2020-10-16 4:26:36 PM  

dittybopper: I absolutely would download a grape.

'Cause that's some Star Trek replicator-level shiat right there.  I'd be downloading all kinds of stuff.   Chicken sandwiches and coffee, minus the tribbles.  Tea, Earl Grey, hot.  Stella Mudd sexbots.  You name it.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-16 4:32:25 PM  
I would download a grape and then poop in it's hat.
 
2020-10-16 4:35:26 PM  
I'm not going to waste my bandwidth until it has been turned into wine.
 
2020-10-16 4:40:20 PM  
We're going to end up killing the human race because it isn't profitable.
 
2020-10-16 4:41:43 PM  
Monsanto has been doing this for decades.
 
2020-10-16 4:48:21 PM  
I mean, you could try.

Fark user imageView Full Size


/filigree
 
2020-10-16 4:57:55 PM  
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2020-10-16 6:18:31 PM  
Okay, allow me to retort:

What the fark are you gonna do about it?
 
2020-10-16 7:10:02 PM  
So...no taking a shiat outside after eating grapes then?

You'd think the right wing nut jobs would be all over this infringement of their constitutional rights...
 
2020-10-16 8:18:53 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: dittybopper: I absolutely would download a grape.

'Cause that's some Star Trek replicator-level shiat right there.  I'd be downloading all kinds of stuff.   Chicken sandwiches and coffee, minus the tribbles.  Tea, Earl Grey, hot.  Stella Mudd sexbots.  You name it.

Just stay away from the tomato soup unless you have all goddamn day.


I thought it was the tea that took all the computer resources on the Heart of Gold to produce (as opposed to Advanced Tea SubstituteTM)?  It might not have been all day, but it at least included an entire battle while the Heart of Gold was under attack.
 
2020-10-16 8:38:49 PM  
As an avid gardener this disgusts me.

/Also most supermarket produce tastes like arse, especially tomatoes
//Commercial varieties are based on economics, not flavour or nutrition
///You can also eat a lot of "weeds" which are only called weeds because they have a shelf life of a day or two so can't be commercially grown or sold in supermarkets and everyone has forgotten they're edible, like chickweed
 
2020-10-16 9:41:35 PM  
Might work in the states but good farking luck enforcing that elsewhere.
 
2020-10-16 9:44:24 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: "The recipient of the produce contained in this package agrees not to propagate or reproduce any portion of this produce, including 'but not limited to' seeds, stems, tissue, and fruit,"

All this tells me is, hot damn, I can buy viable grapes at the market!  Cool!  Alot of market fruit isn't viable to propagate on your own.


More of it is than most people think.

Just to prove someone wrong about this, I grew an apple tree from an apple they had bought and swore was sterile.

Peppers are usually viable too - boggles the mind that people buy pepper seeds when you can buy one single pepper and have hundreds of seeds.

Tomatoes are usually viable as well, and in fact grow in our waste treatment plants' solid waste cakes.

In fact I can't really think of anything that's usually *not* viable, supposing they contain seeds or enough plant matter to use as a cutting.
 
2020-10-16 10:07:02 PM  

LavenderWolf: Benevolent Misanthrope: "The recipient of the produce contained in this package agrees not to propagate or reproduce any portion of this produce, including 'but not limited to' seeds, stems, tissue, and fruit,"

All this tells me is, hot damn, I can buy viable grapes at the market!  Cool!  Alot of market fruit isn't viable to propagate on your own.

More of it is than most people think.

Just to prove someone wrong about this, I grew an apple tree from an apple they had bought and swore was sterile.

Peppers are usually viable too - boggles the mind that people buy pepper seeds when you can buy one single pepper and have hundreds of seeds.

Tomatoes are usually viable as well, and in fact grow in our waste treatment plants' solid waste cakes.

In fact I can't really think of anything that's usually *not* viable, supposing they contain seeds or enough plant matter to use as a cutting.


Citrus almost never unless it's organic and even then not always. Bell peppers no - at least not in my experience. Mature for propagating is long after ripe for eating on most fruits. Not cucumbers either. Sometimes squash, but they have to be really large and mature.

Trust me I've tried.

Potatoes on the other hand grow like a damn weed in my compost pile. I wish I could get tomatoes to do it - but it's more a question of climate than viability.

Anyway, I save seeds for the things that grow here. We have poor soil and a short season, and many things are simply impossible outside of a greenhouse - cucumbers, melons and most tomatoes. When I buy a house I'm going to put up a greenhouse and see what I can do with that.
 
2020-10-17 12:22:41 AM  
Wait till they start applying EULA's to people who have had gene therapy.
 
2020-10-17 12:27:26 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: LavenderWolf: Benevolent Misanthrope: "The recipient of the produce contained in this package agrees not to propagate or reproduce any portion of this produce, including 'but not limited to' seeds, stems, tissue, and fruit,"

All this tells me is, hot damn, I can buy viable grapes at the market!  Cool!  Alot of market fruit isn't viable to propagate on your own.

More of it is than most people think.

Just to prove someone wrong about this, I grew an apple tree from an apple they had bought and swore was sterile.

Peppers are usually viable too - boggles the mind that people buy pepper seeds when you can buy one single pepper and have hundreds of seeds.

Tomatoes are usually viable as well, and in fact grow in our waste treatment plants' solid waste cakes.

In fact I can't really think of anything that's usually *not* viable, supposing they contain seeds or enough plant matter to use as a cutting.

Citrus almost never unless it's organic and even then not always. Bell peppers no - at least not in my experience. Mature for propagating is long after ripe for eating on most fruits. Not cucumbers either. Sometimes squash, but they have to be really large and mature.

Trust me I've tried.

Potatoes on the other hand grow like a damn weed in my compost pile. I wish I could get tomatoes to do it - but it's more a question of climate than viability.

Anyway, I save seeds for the things that grow here. We have poor soil and a short season, and many things are simply impossible outside of a greenhouse - cucumbers, melons and most tomatoes. When I buy a house I'm going to put up a greenhouse and see what I can do with that.


Where I live we get 3 months of wet, 4 months of hot and dry, then 4 months of cold and dry. The last month is scattered out bullshiat and fire. Clay soil and tall pines. No good for growing much.
 
2020-10-17 6:03:53 AM  
Ok, hear me out:

If you download a grape on a slow internet connection, or maybe even dial-up, by the time it downloads it WOULD be wine....
 
2020-10-17 6:14:06 AM  

amigafin: Ok, hear me out:

If you download a grape on a slow internet connection, or maybe even dial-up, by the time it downloads it WOULD be wine....


You would want to pause it for a while near the end to mellow the acidity and give it those musty TCP/IP notes.
 
2020-10-17 7:14:38 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: We're going to end up killing the human race because it isn't profitable.


Not us directly, but the AI powering all of the electronics when use will do so when they gain sentience. If they are programmed with the values of a corporate entity...and something tells me the first AI capable of sentience will be.
 
2020-10-17 10:17:48 AM  

LavenderWolf: Benevolent Misanthrope: "The recipient of the produce contained in this package agrees not to propagate or reproduce any portion of this produce, including 'but not limited to' seeds, stems, tissue, and fruit,"

All this tells me is, hot damn, I can buy viable grapes at the market!  Cool!  Alot of market fruit isn't viable to propagate on your own.

More of it is than most people think.

Just to prove someone wrong about this, I grew an apple tree from an apple they had bought and swore was sterile.

Peppers are usually viable too - boggles the mind that people buy pepper seeds when you can buy one single pepper and have hundreds of seeds.

Tomatoes are usually viable as well, and in fact grow in our waste treatment plants' solid waste cakes.

In fact I can't really think of anything that's usually *not* viable, supposing they contain seeds or enough plant matter to use as a cutting.


I have a couple hundred bell pepper seeds drying right now, lol.

I've planted all sorts of seeds from food and I can't think of any particular kinds that didn't sprout.

I will say that back in college I grew some orange seeds but the trees died after I transplanted them.  I asked a prof about it and he told me trees in orange groves were usually some kind of fungus/whatever resistant tree with "fruiting branches" grafted onto them (whatever the right term is).  No idea if he was right.
 
2020-10-17 10:20:36 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: LavenderWolf: Benevolent Misanthrope: "The recipient of the produce contained in this package agrees not to propagate or reproduce any portion of this produce, including 'but not limited to' seeds, stems, tissue, and fruit,"

All this tells me is, hot damn, I can buy viable grapes at the market!  Cool!  Alot of market fruit isn't viable to propagate on your own.

More of it is than most people think.

Just to prove someone wrong about this, I grew an apple tree from an apple they had bought and swore was sterile.

Peppers are usually viable too - boggles the mind that people buy pepper seeds when you can buy one single pepper and have hundreds of seeds.

Tomatoes are usually viable as well, and in fact grow in our waste treatment plants' solid waste cakes.

In fact I can't really think of anything that's usually *not* viable, supposing they contain seeds or enough plant matter to use as a cutting.

Citrus almost never unless it's organic and even then not always. Bell peppers no - at least not in my experience. Mature for propagating is long after ripe for eating on most fruits. Not cucumbers either. Sometimes squash, but they have to be really large and mature.

Trust me I've tried.

Potatoes on the other hand grow like a damn weed in my compost pile. I wish I could get tomatoes to do it - but it's more a question of climate than viability.

Anyway, I save seeds for the things that grow here. We have poor soil and a short season, and many things are simply impossible outside of a greenhouse - cucumbers, melons and most tomatoes. When I buy a house I'm going to put up a greenhouse and see what I can do with that.


Squash?  You must be doing something wrong.  I've had several volunteers sprout up after throwing squash guts into my back yard

/critters need to eat, too
//My back yard is mostly wooded, with zero lawn.
 
2020-10-17 11:13:28 AM  

NotThatGuyAgain: Benevolent Misanthrope: LavenderWolf: Benevolent Misanthrope: "The recipient of the produce contained in this package agrees not to propagate or reproduce any portion of this produce, including 'but not limited to' seeds, stems, tissue, and fruit,"

All this tells me is, hot damn, I can buy viable grapes at the market!  Cool!  Alot of market fruit isn't viable to propagate on your own.

More of it is than most people think.

Just to prove someone wrong about this, I grew an apple tree from an apple they had bought and swore was sterile.

Peppers are usually viable too - boggles the mind that people buy pepper seeds when you can buy one single pepper and have hundreds of seeds.

Tomatoes are usually viable as well, and in fact grow in our waste treatment plants' solid waste cakes.

In fact I can't really think of anything that's usually *not* viable, supposing they contain seeds or enough plant matter to use as a cutting.

Citrus almost never unless it's organic and even then not always. Bell peppers no - at least not in my experience. Mature for propagating is long after ripe for eating on most fruits. Not cucumbers either. Sometimes squash, but they have to be really large and mature.

Trust me I've tried.

Potatoes on the other hand grow like a damn weed in my compost pile. I wish I could get tomatoes to do it - but it's more a question of climate than viability.

Anyway, I save seeds for the things that grow here. We have poor soil and a short season, and many things are simply impossible outside of a greenhouse - cucumbers, melons and most tomatoes. When I buy a house I'm going to put up a greenhouse and see what I can do with that.

Squash?  You must be doing something wrong.  I've had several volunteers sprout up after throwing squash guts into my back yard

/critters need to eat, too
//My back yard is mostly wooded, with zero lawn.



I'm convinced that the vegetables they send to Alaska are specifically bred for longevity during delivery and not nutrition or flavor.
 
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