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(Fark)   [SCENE: EDITOR collapses, hands clenching pages] EDITOR: Stay back, you demon commas, what do you even want with me? [MAN IN WHITE COAT] There here is. You're comma with us. [EDITOR] Nooooooo This is your Fark Writer's Thread, punctual edition   (fark.com) divider line
    More: CSB, Krispy Kreme, Cascading Style Sheets, Comma, EDITOR collapses, Business, Food, Main, Fark Writer's Thread  
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676 clicks; posted to Main » and Discussion » on 07 Oct 2020 at 6:25 PM (15 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



36 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-10-07 5:20:01 PM  
Yeah, that headline came out of nowhere.  I think I was starting with a 'why did the writer cross the road' joke and somehow that one ended up falling on the floor and dying there.  Whatever muse is on duty at the moment is just mailing it in, I guess.  At least I got it in on time!  I did have an anecdote about someone editing something I wrote and adding commas all over the place, which freaked me out, but in retrospect it's not all that funny so let's just move on.

Fark Fiction Anthology update!

At this point everyone who submitted to this year's anthology should have heard back from me.  If you did not, please check your spam folder, and if you don't see something from e­dit­or­s[nospam-﹫-backwards]no­i­tcifkraf*net, please send me an email!  I'll find out what happened.

I'm planning to have all accepted submissions edited this weekend or next.  When I send them out, there'll be a bit of a deadline for signoff on them since we do want to get this out as soon as possible.
 
2020-10-07 5:30:21 PM  
I read, "F*ck your writers' thread".

I was thinking, "Well, oooooOOOOh! get a load of her." Then I re-read it.
 
2020-10-07 5:30:22 PM  
,,,, ,,,
 
2020-10-07 6:30:44 PM  
The fark's an "editor"?
 
2020-10-07 6:31:07 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-07 6:31:07 PM  
Fark doesn't scrub extra spaces after the period. I know who you people are.
 
2020-10-07 6:36:53 PM  
&?
 
2020-10-07 6:46:07 PM  
YAY another thread in which I can bash my blood enemy the apostrophe!
 
2020-10-07 6:46:38 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: I read, "F*ck your writers' thread".

I was thinking, "Well, oooooOOOOh! get a load of her." Then I re-read it.


the letter 'F' does not exist in the headline but I like where you're going.
 
2020-10-07 6:46:41 PM  
Most of the time travelers worry about their luggage.

Oops I left a comma out.
 
2020-10-07 7:06:06 PM  
Commas matter.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-07 7:13:56 PM  
One of the worst things you can do for someone is to teach them to recognize poor kerning.
 
2020-10-07 7:28:51 PM  

Crash Test Dumbass: One of the worst things you can do for someone is to teach them to recognize poor kerning.


I'll C you and raise descenders and ascenders crossing through leading at suspicious intervals. Compositors, who were they? Benjamin Franklin wanted to know.

From the quill to a press, so swoop; Much sweep.
 
2020-10-07 7:42:27 PM  

Crash Test Dumbass: One of the worst things you can do for someone is to teach them to recognize poor kerning.


Here's Mr. Drucker doing it the old-fashioned way:
Petticoat Junction HOOTERVILLE VS HOLLYWOOD
Youtube n5HCN41EVMY
 
2020-10-07 7:44:41 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-07 7:58:33 PM  
I am just about to get a book released and I still have nach, mares, about the commas.  I paid to have the manuscript proofread and fixed. It's embarrassing how many grammar errors a guy can make. I guess eveyone knows about run on sentences but one of the corrected sentences had about ten commas in it. I had to battle for almost every comma.
Of course when I complained they could easily tell me Okay if you want it wrong we can do it your way, knowing of course that I couldn't call them on it.  I'm quickly finding that a common term "What do you know, I'm a professional" must be a trade term.
Or it's me since I'm pretty unedumacated but I liked to make it up as I go. Now I know a little discipline actually makes me more creative.

There's still a lot I' get to learn but It's funny that when I wrote the end, I was done. To get my book published I've read and edited and read it again easily ten times. Sadly right up to the end I found things to fix.

I'm glad the publishers kept after me, everytime the story got better told. You definitely have to put ego aside and not take them personally or get personal. During the rewrite editing the proof reader asked me about a joke I used. What is a CB he noted as something to fix. After he proofed it they sent me the copy to read and fix stuff, then they fix it and send it back and I read it and made changes. the next time was the final edit you sign it off and you have a book, nope. Then it goes to paging for three more reads and edits.

About CB one of the funnier things in the process the next editor asked again about the line I wrote or stole
"It was going to be a great night but presidents can be the biggest CB". I don't feel comfortable typing what a cb means like saying it especially to my editor. I wrote a paragraph explaining what a CB is, then explaining how anyone would ever get the joke as she wanted it out. By email I explained that actually the president is a c--- blocker asked any one who served.  I won that one, it was tough but it was harder getting my humor understood  than the story line. They knew grammar but humor not so much.

I learned a lot more. First my story was huge, and about something I know absolutely nothing about. It's one thing to make up a story, a good thing , but making up that I know what I'm talking about is another. It only works until someone who really knows how it works comes along.
     I think the first three times they sent my book back for rewrites I told them something about all the other things in the world I would rather do than edit.  A couple of times later I kind of started liking editing.
My book is within days I guess of being released but I already have a sequel that is on it's tenth edit.

A big risk but I have another book ready to start editing and one half done. It's so far cost me like two and a half grand.  The money I already forgot about, It's gonna be tough on the ego though to watch the book sales, if there is such a thing.
I keep thinking how embarrassing if nobody ever hears of it but at least I'll be the only one who knows that.  To say that but and and work for a comma too.
 
2020-10-07 8:22:01 PM  

sinko swimo: ecmoRandomNumbers: I read, "F*ck your writers' thread".

I was thinking, "Well, oooooOOOOh! get a load of her." Then I re-read it.

the letter 'F' does not exist in the headline but I like where you're going.


"Fark" is in the headline. Specifically, the part that the other poster was joking about.
 
2020-10-07 8:26:31 PM  

Creepy Lurker Guy: Crash Test Dumbass: One of the worst things you can do for someone is to teach them to recognize poor kerning.

Here's Mr. Drucker doing it the old-fashioned way:
[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/n5HCN41E​VMY?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3​A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=1257&enablej​sapi=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.c​om&widgetid=1]


I saw Batman in that video
 
2020-10-07 8:36:17 PM  

Crash Test Dumbass: One of the worst things you can do for someone is to teach them to recognize poor kerning.


Poor kerning is called 'keming." And you can see why!

So I'm probably going to roll up and ask this a few times, see if I get any answers. I'm going to publish a universe next year. Simple explanation, I'm throwing open the universe I've set my serial in for anyone who wants to play in it. Art, fiction, RP, anything to do with the setting and characters - your OCs are welcome - as long as you're not being a total Nazi. I'm going to offer hosting, a forum and a showcase, and maybe partner up with AO3.

As writers, what resources would you like to have to make it as easy and fun as possible to play in a fictional universe? I have about 2000 pages of story, but I know not everyone is going to want to read all of that before they dive in. I can turn out wiki-type articles, FAQs, quick references - but I'm not that great at drawing maps. Any ideas?
 
2020-10-07 8:45:17 PM  

Dr._Michael_Hfuhruhurr: Fark doesn't scrub extra spaces after the period. I know who you people are.


I use two spaces after a period.   It opens the text up and helps visually distinguish a period from a comma.  Besides, I am a typist, not a printer.
 
2020-10-07 8:48:03 PM  

Kyle Butler: I saw Batman in that video


I thought he looked familiar.
 
2020-10-07 9:37:16 PM  
on the road: I use two spaces after a period.   It opens the text up and helps visually distinguish a period from a comma.  Besides, I am a typist, not a printer.

I thought a comma distinguished a period from a comma?

My problem with punctuation is that I'm a coder. Prose rules for quotes make my inner compiler itch. Especially that stupid, "Leave a closing double-quote off if you stick a paragraph break between words spoken by one character.

"It'll let the reader know you haven't switched characters."

I don't break that rule, because it's become a convention that readers expect. But I'll rearrange passages, or add some kind of filler, or do whatever it takes to avoid that unclosed quote.
 
2020-10-07 10:51:45 PM  
I have been working on a "true crime" story, involving some smallville corruption and coverup directed toward my family.

One great advantage with writing about true events, even if you end up completely embellishing and fictionalizing it, is the story is already there. The drama already unfolded, and the writer just has to arrange the details onto paper.

For my smallville newspaper, I've covered many events like ribbon cutting, monument dedications, visiting politicians. There's sort of a formula for those, a template, and i could actually write part of the article beforehand; the time and location, historical background, the purpose of the event.

I have written articles in under an hour, meeting the 4pm deadline. Take notes & photos until 3pm, go to my dive bar for their wifi, then write until 3:50, quick read through for sentence continuity and Oxford commas, then submit by 3:55. (I learned the hard way to submit photos separately from, and prior to, my article as once I was waiting for the photo to finish uploading in my email, and i checked another window "just for a second" and forgot to hit Send in time)

I typically spend a bit of bandwidth on my ledes (and often write them last, unless something catchy pops in my head) but "true life" event articles are pretty easy to write on the fly: This thing just happened, at this place and time. This person said this about it, and this person said some other stuff. Another reference to Smallville. Maybe a pirate joke, because the Editor can always remove it. Usually leaves them in, including one that was rated Rrrrr.

I'm surprised how many of my jokes got published.

And here is a public service announcement about commas:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-07 11:24:07 PM  

ms_lara_croft: Commas matter.

[Fark user image image 500x380]


You should get rid of that bar association logo too.
 
2020-10-07 11:30:11 PM  

mad cowboy: I am just about to get a book released and I still have nach, mares, about the commas.  I paid to have the manuscript proofread and fixed. It's embarrassing how many grammar errors a guy can make. I guess eveyone knows about run on sentences but one of the corrected sentences had about ten commas in it. I had to battle for almost every comma.
Of course when I complained they could easily tell me Okay if you want it wrong we can do it your way, knowing of course that I couldn't call them on it.  I'm quickly finding that a common term "What do you know, I'm a professional" must be a trade term.
Or it's me since I'm pretty unedumacated but I liked to make it up as I go. Now I know a little discipline actually makes me more creative.

There's still a lot I' get to learn but It's funny that when I wrote the end, I was done. To get my book published I've read and edited and read it again easily ten times. Sadly right up to the end I found things to fix.

I'm glad the publishers kept after me, everytime the story got better told. You definitely have to put ego aside and not take them personally or get personal. During the rewrite editing the proof reader asked me about a joke I used. What is a CB he noted as something to fix. After he proofed it they sent me the copy to read and fix stuff, then they fix it and send it back and I read it and made changes. the next time was the final edit you sign it off and you have a book, nope. Then it goes to paging for three more reads and edits.

About CB one of the funnier things in the process the next editor asked again about the line I wrote or stole
"It was going to be a great night but presidents can be the biggest CB". I don't feel comfortable typing what a cb means like saying it especially to my editor. I wrote a paragraph explaining what a CB is, then explaining how anyone would ever get the joke as she wanted it out. By email I explained that actually the president is a c--- blocker asked any one who served.  I won that one, it was tough but it was harder getting my humor understood  than the story line. They knew grammar but humor not so much.

I learned a lot more. First my story was huge, and about something I know absolutely nothing about. It's one thing to make up a story, a good thing , but making up that I know what I'm talking about is another. It only works until someone who really knows how it works comes along.
   I think the first three times they sent my book back for rewrites I told them something about all the other things in the world I would rather do than edit.  A couple of times later I kind of started liking editing.
My book is within days I guess of being released but I already have a sequel that is on it's tenth edit.

A big risk but I have another book ready to start editing and one half done. It's so far cost me like two and a half grand.  The money I already forgot about, It's gonna be tough on the ego though to watch the book sales, if there is such a thing.
I keep thinking how embarrassing if nobody ever hears of it but at least I'll be the only one who knows that.  To say that but and and work for a comma too.


If you are really publishing a book, I like to talk to you. If you would not mind. Been kicking around some ideas but also fill kinda embarrassed. I honestly have thought about writing but would like to talk to somebody about it.
 
2020-10-07 11:39:25 PM  

on the road: Dr._Michael_Hfuhruhurr: Fark doesn't scrub extra spaces after the period. I know who you people are.

I use two spaces after a period.   It opens the text up and helps visually distinguish a period from a comma.  Besides, I am a typist, not a printer.


I've been trying to get out of this habit. In new formatting, it really does look weird to me.
 
2020-10-07 11:40:55 PM  
I prefer the Shatner comma. Where, you, have, a, dramatic, pause, after, each, word. KHAAAAAAN.
 
2020-10-07 11:41:45 PM  

mad cowboy: I am just about to get a book released and I still have nach, mares, about the commas.  I paid to have the manuscript proofread and fixed. It's embarrassing how many grammar errors a guy can make. I guess eveyone knows about run on sentences but one of the corrected sentences had about ten commas in it. I had to battle for almost every comma.
Of course when I complained they could easily tell me Okay if you want it wrong we can do it your way, knowing of course that I couldn't call them on it.  I'm quickly finding that a common term "What do you know, I'm a professional" must be a trade term.
Or it's me since I'm pretty unedumacated but I liked to make it up as I go. Now I know a little discipline actually makes me more creative.

There's still a lot I' get to learn but It's funny that when I wrote the end, I was done. To get my book published I've read and edited and read it again easily ten times. Sadly right up to the end I found things to fix.

I'm glad the publishers kept after me, everytime the story got better told. You definitely have to put ego aside and not take them personally or get personal. During the rewrite editing the proof reader asked me about a joke I used. What is a CB he noted as something to fix. After he proofed it they sent me the copy to read and fix stuff, then they fix it and send it back and I read it and made changes. the next time was the final edit you sign it off and you have a book, nope. Then it goes to paging for three more reads and edits.

About CB one of the funnier things in the process the next editor asked again about the line I wrote or stole
"It was going to be a great night but presidents can be the biggest CB". I don't feel comfortable typing what a cb means like saying it especially to my editor. I wrote a paragraph explaining what a CB is, then explaining how anyone would ever get the joke as she wanted it out. By email I explained that actually the president is a c--- blocker asked any one who served.  I won that one, it was tough but it was harder getting my humor understood  than the story line. They knew grammar but humor not so much.

I learned a lot more. First my story was huge, and about something I know absolutely nothing about. It's one thing to make up a story, a good thing , but making up that I know what I'm talking about is another. It only works until someone who really knows how it works comes along.
   I think the first three times they sent my book back for rewrites I told them something about all the other things in the world I would rather do than edit.  A couple of times later I kind of started liking editing.
My book is within days I guess of being released but I already have a sequel that is on it's tenth edit.

A big risk but I have another book ready to start editing and one half done. It's so far cost me like two and a half grand.  The money I already forgot about, It's gonna be tough on the ego though to watch the book sales, if there is such a thing.
I keep thinking how embarrassing if nobody ever hears of it but at least I'll be the only one who knows that.  To say that but and and work for a comma too.


Sounds like you've put in a lot of work. Hope it goes well for you!
 
2020-10-08 12:06:31 AM  

on the road: I use two spaces after a period. It opens the text up and helps visually distinguish a period from a comma. Besides, I am a typist, not a printer.


This is exactly what writers have been taught. This was learned in school and it is "proper" writing.

However, we are no longer using typewriters, sending our work to Editors, and then having these words printed after typesetting. (Hint - the typesetter sets it to one space after the period.)

In the modern online world, the typed work of the creator is also the work of the Editor and the Typesetter. The creator is the entire work chain. So, it's now on the writer to produce the final product, rather than just the producer of a manuscript which receives further processing.

Did you know that the rules writers learned about underlining is wonky? Typewriters can not produce italics, so writers were taught to underline things like periodicals and other references.

The typesetter knew to replace those underlined words with italics.

The more you know...
 
2020-10-08 9:27:52 AM  
mindset zero Fark user image
mindset zero, why would I lie unless it's to write fiction. It's not nearly as cool as it sounds though. It's amazing the dif between being a writer and writing a book. There are plenty of private publishers that will print anything for a price. They call these vanity publishers.
Then you got the big companies that pay you to write, that's nice but you have to have a name to deal with them.
Then I guess there are the guys I used. According to them my book is now available to purchase on Amazon and like five other places. I'm pretty sure they publish mostly fiction, out of Texas. If you want there name let me know, if you can.

The mental is easier just write. Heck I'm a painter in the midwest who wrote a story about killer jellie fish. I've always said anything I can do, anybody can do.  I find writing highly enjoyable never work. Editing is kind of work but it's like polishing a paint job.

I would like to chat over stories I've got more stories to tell than I have time to tell them.
 
2020-10-08 10:15:06 AM  
Short version of what I was gonna post, as I missed getting into this thread when it was new: I had a lot of great success getting a Cracked article published a few years ago, but the site has really gone downhill. The whole "fairly short articles of fascinating facts with jokes" format really worked for my interests, skills, and attention span. Can someone recommend someplace that does something similar?
 
2020-10-08 10:58:09 AM  

mad cowboy: Then I guess there are the guys I used. According to them my book is now available to purchase on Amazon and like five other places. I'm pretty sure they publish mostly fiction, out of Texas. If you want there name let me know, if you can.


If mindset zero doesn't want your publisher's name, I'd like to have it. I'll probably enjoy getting rejection letters from a different publisher. EIP.
 
2020-10-08 12:11:50 PM  

toraque: At this point everyone who submitted to this year's anthology should have heard back from me.  If you did not, please check your spam folder, and if you don't see something from editorsnoitcifkrafnet, please send me an email!  I'll find out what happened.


I did get one mail from a person who did not see the response for their submission.  If that's you, check your email again; the original response was sent on 10/3 and I followed up this morning with a forward from another mail account.  Of course, if the original mail was blocked or something, this one might be as well.  So, uh, there's that, I guess?
 
2020-10-08 6:27:43 PM  
Strategic Book Publishing & Rights Agency.

They accepted me so there easy. Of course they get extra fees for all kinds of stuff, proofreading was 5 cents a word.They will also edit and proofread which if it's a mess is worth the money. So far they have done what they said.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-08 8:58:49 PM  

Wenchmaster: mad cowboy: Then I guess there are the guys I used. According to them my book is now available to purchase on Amazon and like five other places. I'm pretty sure they publish mostly fiction, out of Texas. If you want there name let me know, if you can.

If mindset zero doesn't want your publisher's name, I'd like to have it. I'll probably enjoy getting rejection letters from a different publisher. EIP.


mad cowboy: Strategic Book Publishing & Rights Agency.

They accepted me so there easy. Of course they get extra fees for all kinds of stuff, proofreading was 5 cents a word.They will also edit and proofread which if it's a mess is worth the money. So far they have done what they said. [Fark user image 850x680]


Good news!  You are definitely on Amazon:

Fark user imageView Full Size

https://www.amazon.com/Jellie-Chronic​l​es-Stings-Bryan-Misuraca/dp/1950860299​/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=the+jell​ie+chronicles+stings&qid=1602203518&sr​=8-1

The bad news is that Strategic Book Publishing & Rights Agency does not seem to have a completely unblemished reputation.  There's a bit on them here:

https://www.sfwa.org/other-resources/f​or-authors/writer-beware/alerts/#SBPRA

In general, if a publisher charges for proofreading, that's not a good sign.  It's probably not that they won't do what they promise, but what they promise may not be worth what they charge.  Or, if they are in control of the sales, you might never actually hear about what was sold.  If they're only publishing on Amazon, they're not much different than anyone else who self-publishes, and anyone who's willing to figure out how all that works can do that without anyone's help.  In this case it looks like they didn't make an e-book version of your title; that's a bit more work (especially if it involves a table of contents, ick) but it's still something that can generate sales.

Admittedly, I am physically capable of doing all sorts of things that I'd rather not do.  There's a certain level of clogged-drain badness where I call in a plumber instead of dealing with it myself.  Different people have different levels of involvement that they are comfortable with, and what seems crazy to one person may be reasonable to someone else.

Even so, you should never ever pay someone to publish your writing.  They should be making money off of your writing, not off of you.

On the other hand:

Editing and proofreading services are absolutely valuable and I have paid for them in the past.  There's nothing wrong with that at all.  And even reputable publishers, these days, don't seem to do much of anything in the way of advertising or marketing anything, so there may not be much effective difference in reality between a vanity press and a large press.

More and more, writers are having to do all of the legwork in promoting and marketing their works.  Self publishing is becoming more and more common.  It used to be only vanity publications but now it's becoming a secondary route to getting noticed by an actual publisher, who pays the writer to put their works in front of people.

Back to my analogy, though: If you have a sequel in the works to Stings and you want to get it published on Amazon, and you have the rights to your future publications in that IP, I can help you get them on Amazon if you want and I won't ask any fees for it. It's not that much harder than unclogging a drain, really.
 
2020-10-08 9:46:08 PM  
toraque Back to my analogy, though: If you have a sequel in the works to Stings and you want to get it published on Amazon, and you have the rights to your future publications in that IP, I can help you get them on Amazon if you want and I won't ask any fees for it. It's not that much harder than unclogging a drain, really.

Yes I kind of felt like they were out for my money at first, but I'm a first time novelist and the book was nowhere near ready  it had thousands of errors. The new book doesn't have the errors as I've learned to pay more attention to proofing as I write.  And I know what the cover will look like.
They did work with me a lot to get it right, things I hoped to forget in grade school.
I'll have to check, they were supposed to have released the E-book this week. I didn't do any editing or adding just went with the book.   The book is also available at barnes and nobles according to a customer who looked it up.
That's actually kind of cool it kind of gave me a thrill to hear that. Supposedly they'll list me at five places so three I don't know yet. Your right though I don't know what else they will do for marketing but there is a website I can go to anytime to find out how many books if any sold.
I think the big thing is if they can help me sell the book without me having to beg my friends or sell them as souvenirs of the guy who painted their house.  Specially in 2020. Your right a real writer shouldn't have to pay, if they're good enough. I'm under no contract with them beyond this book so if it sells I'm sure the next one I might be able to bargain, but I doubt I could cover all the things involved it getting a book to print. I hope I never need a proofreader again.
Still my book is on Barnes and Nobel and I guess it's in the library of congress that's a step.
I appreciate the help though if you are still offering about December when I should have the second book ready.
Also Is it bad that when I wrote the story I was thinking movie deal. Part of having a physical book is to try to use a connection I might of had to write for netflicks. Now that there will be four books I'm thinking TV series. Getting whatever is left of hollywood would be the trick I'd like to know.
 
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