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(Fark)   Artwork, movies, celebrities having babies, and how to become Florida Man are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, September 27-October 3: Cow Edition   (fark.com) divider line
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1143 clicks; posted to Main » and Discussion » on 08 Oct 2020 at 11:39 AM (14 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



22 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-10-07 3:56:17 AM  
If you're new here, you can begin the Quiz by clicking on the Fark logo beside the headline above, or you can click here.
 
2020-10-07 3:04:02 PM  
I like to tell people my sister is a milkmaid, but in truth she works at a research dairy where she does indeed milk cows, but also administers medications and tests the milk to see if the drugs come through and could affect the safety of the milk. So I get to see a lot of cows when I visit her.

Cows are, on the one hand, pretty stupid. They're the epitome of herd mentality - you get one to do something ,and the others will just follow right along. However, the problem lies in getting the first one to do something. This is why you don't often see them performing in fairs and the like, doing tricks and jumping over things - yhey don't have another cow to learn from. Honestly, I think we're better off not teaching them stuff because then all of the other cows will follow along and we'll be living in a "The Far Side" comic.

One thing about dairy cows is that they are very much a creature of habit. Carrying around all of that milk is actually uncomfortable to them. Herding them into the dairy is pretty much just opening the right gates and they'll walk right in - modern milking machines are far from uncomfortable and actually give them relief, along with a row of cows that will stare expectantly at you if you wish to address them about upcoming policy changes or the new benefits package. It's also handy for calling out the troublemakers in front of their peers for incomplete time sheets. Come to think of it, I'm glad HR managers never see the insides of a dairy - their eyes would light up with glee and we'd definitely get new policies enacted.

Anyway, take the Quiz, and come back and tell us how you did and give us your best cow jokes.

Winners from last week and Easiest/Hardest are in the NotNewsletter.

Don't forget the Easy Quiz!

Good luck, and let me know if you have any issues.
 
2020-10-07 3:06:39 PM  
media3.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-10-07 3:07:12 PM  
media3.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-10-07 3:08:51 PM  
How did the bull break up with the cow?

He said he moo-ved on
 
2020-10-07 3:09:58 PM  
I once tried telling jokes to the cows at the dairy.

I discovered they weren't a laughing stock.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2020-10-07 3:17:16 PM  
Jerk chicken is good, full stop. Haven't had it for a long time. Haven't been to a good Caribbean restaurant in a long time.
 
2020-10-07 4:28:39 PM  

ZAZ: Jerk chicken is good, full stop. Haven't had it for a long time. Haven't been to a good Caribbean restaurant in a long time.


Make your own!

Jerk chicken is basically onions and peppers with lime juice (or pineapple) and everything else varies from there. I prefer chipotle peppers in adobo for the smoky flavor, red onions, and freshly squeezed lime juice (limes are really cheap). Fresh ginger goes pretty well, along with fresh herbs like basil or cilantro. Most people sweeten it if they're using lime juice and don't if they're using pineapple. I use brown sugar, but honey is also good.

Marinate it overnight, and then cook as normal. I prefer my charcoal smoker, but baking on a rack works pretty well, too.
 
2020-10-07 4:36:45 PM  
media2.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-10-07 4:38:10 PM  
media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-10-07 4:40:17 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-07 5:29:01 PM  
No comments on this beaver's balls?

static.boredpanda.comView Full Size

I am not mad at you Fark, just disappointed.
 
2020-10-07 5:36:32 PM  

Muta: No comments on this beaver's balls?

[static.boredpanda.com image 700x677]
I am not mad at you Fark, just disappointed.


So is it like wearing a double-breasted suit with holes for its balls?
 
2020-10-07 5:51:07 PM  
I'm just here for the chicken jerking.
 
2020-10-07 5:52:16 PM  
So if you cross a chicken with a cow, do you get roost beef?
 
2020-10-07 5:54:29 PM  

ox45tallboy: I like to tell people my sister is a milkmaid, but in truth she works at a research dairy where she does indeed milk cows, but also administers medications and tests the milk to see if the drugs come through and could affect the safety of the milk. So I get to see a lot of cows when I visit her.

Cows are, on the one hand, pretty stupid. They're the epitome of herd mentality - you get one to do something ,and the others will just follow right along. However, the problem lies in getting the first one to do something. This is why you don't often see them performing in fairs and the like, doing tricks and jumping over things - yhey don't have another cow to learn from. Honestly, I think we're better off not teaching them stuff because then all of the other cows will follow along and we'll be living in a "The Far Side" comic.

One thing about dairy cows is that they are very much a creature of habit. Carrying around all of that milk is actually uncomfortable to them. Herding them into the dairy is pretty much just opening the right gates and they'll walk right in - modern milking machines are far from uncomfortable and actually give them relief, along with a row of cows that will stare expectantly at you if you wish to address them about upcoming policy changes or the new benefits package. It's also handy for calling out the troublemakers in front of their peers for incomplete time sheets. Come to think of it, I'm glad HR managers never see the insides of a dairy - their eyes would light up with glee and we'd definitely get new policies enacted.



This sounds like udder nonsense.
 
2020-10-07 6:52:03 PM  
We had a herd of 220 milkers along with 180 taking time off. DeLaval system. People who have never dealt with scraping cow shiat twice a day wouldn't understand how dumb they can be.

Moo.
 
Oak [BareFark]
2020-10-07 8:59:39 PM  

ox45tallboy: ZAZ: Jerk chicken is good, full stop. Haven't had it for a long time. Haven't been to a good Caribbean restaurant in a long time.

Make your own!

Jerk chicken is basically onions and peppers with lime juice (or pineapple) and everything else varies from there. I prefer chipotle peppers in adobo for the smoky flavor, red onions, and freshly squeezed lime juice (limes are really cheap). Fresh ginger goes pretty well, along with fresh herbs like basil or cilantro. Most people sweeten it if they're using lime juice and don't if they're using pineapple. I use brown sugar, but honey is also good.

Marinate it overnight, and then cook as normal. I prefer my charcoal smoker, but baking on a rack works pretty well, too.


If the marinade/wet rub/dry rub (whatever you use) doesn't have pimento (what we Americans call "allspice") in it, it's really a stretch to call it jerk chicken.  If you don't include allspice and don't cook it slow over a smoky fire (pimento wood is traditional; I get good results by throwing handfuls of dried pimento berries into a charcoal fire) it's a stretch of Reed-Richards-esque proportions.  The allspice isn't sufficient,. but it's necessary.
 
2020-10-07 10:56:18 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-07 11:13:31 PM  

ox45tallboy: [media.giphy.com image 480x294]


That's not physically possible. A cow without legs should be ground beef.
 
2020-10-07 11:36:27 PM  

cyberspacedout: ox45tallboy: [media.giphy.com image 480x294]

That's not physically possible. A cow without legs should be ground beef.


Well, that one definitely has breast tenders.
 
2020-10-08 7:52:02 AM  
But they sing so well!

Cows singing Cow Cow Boogie, same version as aired on Pee-Wee's Playhouse, animated
Youtube lALSyYQIZB8
 
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