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(Stuff.co.nz)   Protip: Don't make a "joke" about your relative having a bomb on an airplane   (stuff.co.nz) divider line
    More: Facepalm, Stupidity, Air New Zealand Flight 901, Idiot, Joke, Court, Air New Zealand, Jokes, Damien Tokutaahi Hadfield  
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1525 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Oct 2020 at 7:35 PM (3 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



37 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-10-01 6:19:11 PM  
*While getting dragged away by authorities at Heathrow*

BOB'S your uncle.  BOBBBBBBBBBB!
 
2020-10-01 7:38:43 PM  
Well, anyway. The guy may have been a farking moron, but at least the justice system in New Zealand wasn't trying to stuff private prisons and screw over people to make a point with authority-worshippers.   Kudos..
 
2020-10-01 7:42:35 PM  
I love the fact that this moron's lawyer actually referred to him as an idiot.  How refreshing.
 
2020-10-01 7:42:36 PM  
And always say "Hello" to your friend Jack
 
2020-10-01 7:43:37 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-01 7:46:19 PM  
I was in line at airport security theater somewhere in the US when a kid of about 7 yelled "What If I have a bomb?!!?" It was a whole thing. People running all over, shouting at us to put our hands up, drop our stuff. A whole thing. It ended with the kid crying and the mom crying. I'm glad they boarded a different plane. A whole thing.
 
2020-10-01 7:46:36 PM  
Thanks, Governor Dukakis
 
2020-10-01 7:48:09 PM  
Bomb bomb bommity bomb bomb bomb.

I have nipple Greg, can you milk me?
 
2020-10-01 7:57:47 PM  

CFitzsimmons: I was in line at airport security theater somewhere in the US when a kid of about 7 yelled "What If I have a bomb?!!?" It was a whole thing. People running all over, shouting at us to put our hands up, drop our stuff. A whole thing. It ended with the kid crying and the mom crying. I'm glad they boarded a different plane. A whole thing.


My favorite was the pilot who was getting harassed by TSA and said something to the effect of "like I'd need a weapon to crash the plane." Pearls were clutched, garments were rent, hounds of hell were unleashed...
 
2020-10-01 7:58:23 PM  
People who make this sort of shiatty joke should be arrested on principle.

/See also "It didn't scan, so it must be free!" at the checkout.
 
2020-10-01 8:02:53 PM  
Not even a DISTANT relative, like your 6th grand cousin on your step mother's side?
 
2020-10-01 8:06:09 PM  
No no no, it's a bong.
 
2020-10-01 8:10:59 PM  
How about a bomb anecdote, or a limerick?
 
2020-10-01 8:12:41 PM  
Many moons ago, when you could go to the gate to meet someone, a group of us were picking up the boss coming in to BWI around 11pm. One of our crew,Turk, ( there's always a Turk) thought it was funny to say loudly as we got past security, "I guess they didn't find that bomb up my ass" Wrong thing to say around a Maryland State cop. They grabbed his ass and hauled him away. Another cop told us not to worry, they were just going to scare him and give him a hard time. So we go to the gate, grab the boss and go looking for Turk so we can head to the bar. No Turk. Went and found the nice cop and find out that Turk was carrying a nickel bag and was arrested. Being late Friday night, no bail until Monday morning. Dumbass.
 
2020-10-01 8:12:55 PM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2020-10-01 8:17:06 PM  
Remember those cartoons where a guy gets kicked in the ass so hard they fly into the air? Needs to happen to these people.
 
2020-10-01 8:20:17 PM  
"Hi, Jack!"
 
2020-10-01 8:22:31 PM  
Those people might not deserve jail and permanent criminal dossiers but they do deserve serious fines as well a temporary flight bans.
 
2020-10-01 8:28:08 PM  
Needs to be institutionalized.

Around 1971, my then-boss was flying, carrying a hot-pressing die of special metal, and made a joke about a bomb.

We only had one of the damn things for *months*, before they finally returned it.
 
2020-10-01 8:34:30 PM  
And never loudly and informally greet your friend Jack
 
2020-10-01 8:35:18 PM  

maxis_mydog: Many moons ago, when you could go to the gate to meet someone, a group of us were picking up the boss coming in to BWI around 11pm. One of our crew,Turk, ( there's always a Turk) thought it was funny to say loudly as we got past security, "I guess they didn't find that bomb up my ass" Wrong thing to say around a Maryland State cop. They grabbed his ass and hauled him away. Another cop told us not to worry, they were just going to scare him and give him a hard time. So we go to the gate, grab the boss and go looking for Turk so we can head to the bar. No Turk. Went and found the nice cop and find out that Turk was carrying a nickel bag and was arrested. Being late Friday night, no bail until Monday morning. Dumbass.


Dude wanted to get busted, and he probably rolled over on his connection to get out from under his connection and the DA.
 
2020-10-01 8:43:23 PM  

kkinnison: And never loudly and informally greet your friend Jack


"Hi, Ja- Oh fark."
 
2020-10-01 8:43:54 PM  
Chubb was satisfied with the discharge

Okay, then.
 
2020-10-01 8:47:06 PM  

ClavellBCMI: maxis_mydog: Many moons ago, when you could go to the gate to meet someone, a group of us were picking up the boss coming in to BWI around 11pm. One of our crew,Turk, ( there's always a Turk) thought it was funny to say loudly as we got past security, "I guess they didn't find that bomb up my ass" Wrong thing to say around a Maryland State cop. They grabbed his ass and hauled him away. Another cop told us not to worry, they were just going to scare him and give him a hard time. So we go to the gate, grab the boss and go looking for Turk so we can head to the bar. No Turk. Went and found the nice cop and find out that Turk was carrying a nickel bag and was arrested. Being late Friday night, no bail until Monday morning. Dumbass.

Dude wanted to get busted, and he probably rolled over on his connection to get out from under his connection and the DA.


Nah, he was just your typical dumbass. He got lucky and only got 2 years probation for the weed. That sobered him up for awhile.
 
2020-10-01 9:14:26 PM  
What if they're a BOMBARDIER?!
 
2020-10-01 9:38:19 PM  
 
2020-10-01 10:03:49 PM  
Airplane! - Hijack deleted scene
Youtube Kf3bw8KEZ44
 
2020-10-01 10:07:26 PM  
Way back in the day, long before 9-11, my dear departed great aunt, a tiny British lady, was going thru security and they asked the standard "any guns or explosives?" She had cataracts and so couldn't read the sign about all jokes being taken seriously, so she replied in her adorable accent "Oh, I'm just loaded with bombs." They of course had to take her back in "the room" to explain everything before sending her on her way.
 
2020-10-01 10:35:09 PM  

the password is password: The_Sponge: [Fark user image 425x218]

Wait, YOU were this guy?

https://www.kwch.com/content/news/Bath​room-warning-mistaken-for-bomb-threat-​at-Home-Depot-505753401.html


Lulz.  I've blown up many bathrooms, but not that one. 😇
 
2020-10-01 11:17:04 PM  
I just got banned from Facebook for three days, because when a friend replied to one of my comments with the "Lighten up Francis" gif, I replied "Tell me to lighten up again, an I'll kill ya".

I hope I don't get banned on Fark.
 
2020-10-01 11:30:16 PM  

The Southern Dandy: I just got banned from Facebook for three days, because when a friend replied to one of my comments with the "Lighten up Francis" gif, I replied "Tell me to lighten up again, an I'll kill ya".

I hope I don't get banned on Fark.


I once received a 24 hour FB ban because I posted a pic of Farmer Fran from The Waterboy twisting his nipples.

Thankfully, it's allowed on Fark.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-10-01 11:53:02 PM  
Did he make the joke while not on a plane about a relative who was on a plane, or did he, on a plane, joke about a relative having a bomb?
 
2020-10-02 2:10:43 AM  

The Southern Dandy: I just got banned from Facebook for three days, because when a friend replied to one of my comments with the "Lighten up Francis" gif, I replied "Tell me to lighten up again, an I'll kill ya".

I hope I don't get banned on Fark.


🙈😂😁🤡
 
2020-10-02 2:10:55 AM  

The Southern Dandy: I just got banned from Facebook for three days, because when a friend replied to one of my comments with the "Lighten up Francis" gif, I replied "Tell me to lighten up again, an I'll kill ya".

I hope I don't get banned on Fark.


I hope you don't get a visit from the pigs
 
2020-10-02 4:03:04 AM  
3 French Canadians were taking a plane circa 2008 from Rockford, IL to Denver, speaking French Canadian. The only word eavesdropping security heard during the pre-flight screening was "bomb." Took about 40 minutes before the explanation they were talking about food ("bombe-glace" ) was accepted. (RFD serves some commuter & charter flights, & UPS; because of UPS, the runways at RFD wii stay open & plowed even when OHare is snowed under & closed, & commercial flights will be diverted there because the runways will handle the biggest aircraft.
 
2020-10-02 4:19:37 AM  

spleef420: No no no, it's a bong.


No, it's a WATER PIPE.

Here's your pouch of tobacco.
 
2020-10-02 9:08:23 AM  

The Southern Dandy: I just got banned from Facebook for three days, because when a friend replied to one of my comments with the "Lighten up Francis" gif, I replied "Tell me to lighten up again, an I'll kill ya".

I hope I don't get banned on Fark.


Someone actually did make threats against me on FB once for arguing with his brother about something so petty that I was about to leave the argument, and FB's reaction after I reported it was basically "He deleted it, so we never saw it. *shrug*"
 
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